Moonspear why is my spirit so silver and pale

Alya invading the den with a treat for sissy. Shorter posts while I get back into the swing of things. If pups/Lyra/Dirge want to chime in that is fine, but I am hoping to keep this thread clean and more fast-paced. Thank you for being patient with me <3

It was nearly twilight, and Alya was just returning to the den after a night of patrolling the slopes near the densite. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary; she'd caught a hare and eaten it, and then a rather grumpy raccoon had disrupted the quiet. That fight had been loud, but very brief, and Alya carried it now to her sister-queen to lay it at the mouth of the den.

"Are you hungry?" she asked with a wag of her tail, settling nearby to look her fill at the tiny pups.

Hydra dozed for a while as her children fed; knowing they were occupied caused her to rest easier, but they were beginning to move about. Soon enough they would have more control of their legs, and also would be able to hear better; she took the opportunity to rest while she could. Still, she knew better than to not sleep with one eye open. She was ever aware that anything could happen, and the slightest sounds from beyond roused her. 

So when she heard Alya approach, her head lifted for a moment as her ears pricked. The familiar gait caused Hydra's tail to beat against the earth as she recognized, immediately, who it was. As Alya slipped into the den, Hydra shifted enough to grant her access. The den was large enough for four adult wolves, as she considered Lyra and Alya in all that she did. 

Her nostrils flared and the scent of food was detected; Hydra licked her chops and answered, always, in a breath, thank you. They are constantly eating themselves, she drawled, looking at their backs, but growing bigger every day for it. Hydra adjusted herself again so that Alya could create a ring with her around their cubs (Hydra of the mind that Alya and Lyra were as much parents as she to her children) if she wished.

Alya was glad to trade the carcass for one of Hydra's living beans. While the matriarch was distracted by food, Alya bracketed the cubs between them and nabbed whichever one was nearest for a much-needed dose of coddling, and also a bath. The pup was perfectly clean, of course, but Alya thought puppies tasted superb when they were as fresh as these ones.

"They're still little bitty crab apples," she replied, making a face at the tiny babe while Hydra was distracted by her meal. She tried to keep how soft she was toward these children 'hidden' from her sister, but she was sure both Hydra and Lyra knew how she pandered to them. "How are the older kids? I haven't talked to anyone, lately."

She writhed in her sleep suddenly, feeling far from peace- and soon one murky blue eye cracked open in a slit, as she gazed upward at what had disturbed her so. In the den stood another dark figure. Mira glanced confusedly back to the milk-giver- were there two? This one lifted her suddenly away from where she had slept, bathing her with a wet tongue. Disgusting. Her muzzle wrinkled, expressing the way she detested the feeling- and something low rumbled in her throat, as quiet as it was. The face of the second milk-giver did little to amuse her, and she stared on coldly, awaiting the moment she could drink and sleep again.

Hydra's tongue removed skin from flesh as she worked at the raccoon, loads of fur not a part of her dietary regimen; Alya's words caused Hydra to grin. Crab apples, hm? Maybe for you, they are. For me, they are runty little wolverines. Terrors that enjoy pestering one another and their mother, Hydra's gaze turned to look at Mira as she rumbled, the sound amusing and pleasing to her all at once. Hydra did not mind her sisters with their children, nor their softness for their young; she knew that it meant they would be protected well, and cared for.  Defending Alya from Mira's wrath, Hydra extended her muzzle to brush against a tiny hind to gather her attention, drawling, Mind your manners, Mira. Alya is teaching you an essential lesson; you must always look your best, her tail waved as she regarded Alya. See what I mean? Little terror, though her voice was warm. Her little rumbles meant she had a fighters spirit. And like her mother, and her aunts, Hydra hoped that Mira might come to enjoy bath-time. 

Returning to her food and beginning to tear into the critters vulnerable stomach, Hydra paused to answer Alya. Since Arcturus and Revui... they have mostly kept to themselves. I have said all I could about the matter; I still, in full, do not really understand Arcturus and his sudden change of heart, she admitted. She had shared with Alya how she was not so certain she should have gotten in the middle of their fight, and the whole truth of her outrage with Revui that did not, then, translate as a desire to kill him. Still she did not know the whole of what her brother thought for certain—

No doubt Alya could sense her winding mind, if not for her sudden quiet then for the way she tore at the carcass as she sought the prime pieces to eat. Realizing this, she licked her chops and sniffed at one of her children, feeling grounded for it, and looking again to her sister—grounded entirely. I think they are hurt by it all, too. @Osiris has healed well since his attack, thanks to @Lyra, and from what I hear @Atlas and @Vega have been helpful hunting and patrolling. @Antares always lurks nearby, protecting... @Osiris too... he has told me he wants to become a guardian. I have yet to let any but you and Lyra near the cubs, though, so have not seen them  to speak with them one on one as of late myself, she shared. Soon enough she would be able to escape denmother life to reimmerse herself with the rest, but sooner still her children could come to visit their new siblings.

As much as she did love her nieces and nephews, Alya cared very little about Mira's apparent discomfort. She wasn't hurting anything, and as far as she was concerned, the beans were not afforded any kind of personal agency until they could eat and shit on their own.

Still, she relented just to get the girl to shut up, and content herself with some cuddling instead.

"They're certainly yours," she said dryly, inwardly quite charmed by Mira's poor disposition.

She listened carefully to her sister's woes, wishing there was more she could do to soothe tempers and hurts within the family. She'd once believed a little more strongly in the power of friendship and kindness, but her own inaction had led her to wonder if these things were so powerful after all.

"I'll see about checking in with them,"  she decided. "Perhaps one or two of them would like to take a quick trip through the valley, just to stretch our legs a bit."

Hydra was quite pleased with herself as Alya said so; in her own eyes, there was nothing wrong with that. And from Alya, the words were far from an insult, no matter the tone. More at ease now, she had resumed eating and savored the taste of the snack her sister had brought to her. Though she was not aware of it, Alya was relearning the very same lesson Hydra had all that time ago... but even none of her friends had stung her as Arcturus had.

Her own brother. How could he? 

Back and forth she went, though soon enough her emotions would stabilize on the matter. For now, she was more than content to not think of it, or him, at all. Things were quiet and peaceful both, for a time. Let it last a while longer. Her sisters suggestion was not missed, and she again paused in her meal to regard her sister. That might be good for them, she hummed. They should learn of scouting, and the importance of it... it is in our blood, she drawled, gaze drifting up to her sister; she was the scout of the family, though Dirge had his own moments of wanderlust, too. Hydra did like to take a trip now and then, but here, ultimately, was where her heart was. With her family; the ones that had never left. The ones buried here, too, that never would. Comforting, that thought was now. Perhaps another of her children might find their passion.

Having resumed gnawing at her snack (most of it stripped away by now), Hydra swallowed another few bites. Her thoughts drifted some, to the dream she had with their father. Much was on her mind; she had not the outlet, then, to release it as she usually would. Running, sparring, hunting; she stretched a little, thinking on her sisters words, and sighed. I wish I could come, she lamented. As one of her cubs mewled, Hydra looked to them. This part of motherhood she detested; they were so dependent that she could not leave for more than a few minutes to relieve herself, or drink from the shallow, lazy stream that trickled nearby.

The mewling of another child drew Alya's attention, briefly. Hydra merely looked at it, but Alya was quick to steal that pup away as well. They wouldn't stave if she cuddled them for a few minutes, and she knew well enough by now how carefully they ought to be handled.

"Tiny tiny," she crooned, and then shot Hydra a somewhat embarrassed look. It was so difficult not to dote on them when they looked like this! Vaguely, she remembered finding a coyote pup and being just as enchanted... at least until she'd killed and eaten it.

"You will, one day," Alya reassured, stretching her neck to boop Hydra's nose with her own. "Look, I can sit in for a while. They won't die of starvation if you take an hour off. Why don't you stretch your legs?"

The sounds were not ones of hunger, and so she was not concerned as Alya plucked another from her side. Hydra yawned, placing her head upon her forelegs. Alya cooed, and Hydra thought nothing of it; they were quite adorable now, and not even she could deny that. Just absolutely useless. It was likely their adorable looks, though, that kept them living.

She shifted her head toward her sister while giving Alya doleful eyes to her someday, leaning into her touch and returning it with a nip. Someday is not now, she responded crabbily. Her sister, hearing her, made the kind offer to stay with her children for a time. Hydra removed the two boys from her and placed them at her sisters side, kissing her forehead as she stepped over her. If you want to feed them, @Lyra knows a herb that will help you produce milk, she hummed. Hydra did not yet know that proximity and whelps begging alone might inspire her sisters milk glands to function either; who knew if she would learn such a thing upon her return, if Alya fell victim to that effect. In a sing-song voice, elated to break free for even a short time, Hydra hummed: thank you! 

Hydra would not be gone for as long as an hour (she just could not do that to her sisters), but would certainly stretch her legs and use her teeth against anything that came too close for her comfort. A necessary reprieve, for all the dark thoughts that kept her up as of late.

Hydra's crabbiness was not offensive to Alya. Rather, she clucked in half-hearted pity, knowing that her sister would not trade her children for her freedom, given the choice. That did not mean, however, that she was above pawning them off on certain trusted entities from time to time.

The existence of this herb was not news to Alya. She'd tried it and found the taste repugnant, and had not yet produced any milk of her own. She did allow the children to suckle whenever she watched them, however, and she sensed that this would not always be such a hopeless endeavor for them. Her body was certainly changing, and she was sure that not all of it had to do with turning four.

"We shall see," she agreed, giving each pup a cuddle in turn. "Have fun out there!" she added as her sister departed. "Alright, @Mira," she said, turning her attention back to her niece with an evil grin on her face. "It's time to clean between your little toes!"

Hydra would be lucky if all her children were still whole and uneaten by the time she returned.

She was passed from one to the next like the sweater of an old man donated to Goodwill after his death, destined to collect dust in a corner for the rest of its existence. This one was not unlike her mother, but somehow there was a difference. This one was noisier, and more chipper... she blurted words that meant nothing to Mira, and she stared on dryly, face poker. What intentions did she have here, smiling like that? Mira's gaze did not stray from the stranger, observant and careful as a child could be.