Wheeling Gull Isle when life’s moving too fast, we can make this dream last

As overwhelmed as he was lately, Caracal refused to let it waylay his plans to single out his (older) children. Even after arranging for his mom to hang out nearby, he felt guilty for leaving Heda stuck in the den. And Dinah could probably use the time off from their new guests but she’d already had a turn.

He picked @Judah today, knowing his son probably wouldn’t really want to go much of anywhere. Caracal wanted to work on that, of course, but he was too exhausted. Besides, it suited the situation. He stretched out just outside the den, letting out a weary breath before crooning for the bashful boy.

Judah’s with the babies! He’s always with the babies. Babies stay in the den and get milk and more time with Ami and Papa! Sometimes Ami doesn’t see and he sneaks in beside them to nurse on her belly. He was supposed to be eating big boy food now, and Gramma brought a lot of that, fishes and rabbits and other meats that smelled pretty good. But not as good as Ami’s milk.

Babies are boring. They don’t talk and can’t play and if he’s too rough they fall over as easily as a leaf. He used to play with Simmy and Dinny but now Simmy is preoccupied with the babies. Sometimes he misses when he was Simmy’s only baby. And Dinny goes goes goes! Out the den, where Judah can’t follow. Mal always is there, Mal always with Juju.

Not Ami and Papa. They are always hurrying around, in and out, sleeping at weird times, laughing less at his little antics, like pulling baby ears or burying their big ole paws in dirt as they nap.

But today is different! Today Papa calls for Judah! And the cub springs into the air with overwhelming giddiness, bounding about and singing “Papa! Papa papa papa!”

He leapfrogs out into the sun briefly to tap Caracal’s paw before quickly retreating. “Papa!” bounce. “Papa!” roll. “Papa!” nip.

He stares up at Caracal’s big golden eyes and collapses just inside the den, belly-up in a dizzying whirl of high-pitched giggles.

Caracal smiled tiredly at the little boy’s antics. I’d die for you, you know, he thought.

Channeling a certain British band, he rumbled, Hey, Jude… and then paused to see if the frolicsome, giggling boy would go silent and still. Don’t be afraid.

Caracal beckoned his son, hoping he would step outside just far enough to be gathered into his father’s arms.

He makes a game of it- tapping his father with a tiny dark paw and hurtling back into the den as fast as he can, and each time erupting into waves of chuffed laughter. Afraid? No no, not afraid! Daddy is here! And Daddy knows Judah stays in!

“Papa look!!! FLYYY!!!!” He bunnyhops around the den, all four paws leaving the ground for a fraction of a second, “Am burd!”

Judah amused himself by tagging his father before darting back into the den. Back and forth he went, laughing boyishly the whole while. Caracal smiled tiredly, just happy that Judah was happy. That was all that mattered, right?

You’re getting some sick air there, Caracal acknowledged with a huff of laughter. You know what else you can do with legs as long as yours? Give your papa a big ole hug.

Caracal stretched his arms open wide, dearly hoping Judah would oblige him. It wasn’t just a low-key effort to get his son outside, he could honestly really use a hug right about now.

He looks down at his legs, then up into the sunshine towards his Papa. He was close. But he was also out in the belly of the beast where the bogies dwell.

“Um,” confusion crinkles his nose as his intellect (shaky at best) sets to work. He wants that hug, he wants it bad! How to get a hug without leaving safety? Judah settles on planting his bum down in the shade and stretches out wide his little arms. Daddy come to Juju for hug! Perfect solution!

“Hug!”

Caracal didn’t want to do anything that might upset Judah, though he stretched out his own legs, wrapping them around the boy’s small shoulders and tugging at him. It was just gentle pressure, barely moving, but it telegraphed his desire to pull Judah to his chest.

Do you trust me, Ju? he asked with a quiet smile. Do you trust that you’ll always be safe with me, no matter what?

His grin expands from ear-to-ear and he smudges his cheek along one of Caracal’s huge golden arms.

“Papaaaaa,” he coos in a little happy song. He is drunk off giddiness! All this attention from his father made him feel like he was a very special pup! This was his Papa!

He wants to sink into the arms of his father, but even the most tender of nudges wrenches him from this moment in the sunshine and shoves him into a nightmare. The world darkens and he is unable to see what is beyond his dim sight. Caracal’s arms are now talons, his voice a demonic croon: do you trust me?

A little heart with terror bumps, a bristling noise caught in his throat. He closes his eyes against the monstrous night, unable now to know what is real or imagined or if there’s anything difference at all between them.

“Twust you Papa,” he’ll whine, but it wasn’t just Papa, it was Leviathan too.

Judah replied that he trusted his papa, though it came out as an uncertain whine. With ginger movements, Caracal wrapped his forelegs completely around the small boy and tugged him tightly to his chest. He kissed the top of his head, rocking back and forth a little as he muttered reassurances against the pup’s crown.

I don’t know what you’re afraid of, Ju, the young father admitted, but whatever it is, I’ll keep you safe, alright? It’s my job to protect you. He punctuated this sincere statement with a couple more nuzzles before querying, Will you tell me what’s so scary to you out here?

He smushes his eyes shut.

“Twust Papa,” he’ll repeat, over and over again.

He’s raised, floating in the clutches of the beast. It slips into the caring embrace of his father as he’s soothed by Caracal’s steady immanence.

Finally he opens his eyes, to blink up into his big golden face, like a sun. He draws his tiny arms around his father’s neck.

“Dey owny show me, Papa. Dey don show anybowdy else. Dey wait till you an Ami go sleep an dey staw at me. Righ dewre.” He raises a trembling paw and points at the empty space right behind his daddy.

Caracal didn’t react right away when Judah explained what frightened him. It sounded like his son saw things others didn’t. It was probably just a matter of an overactive imagination. It could be a mental illness of some sort, yet the young father shied away from this possibility. Judah was just a little boy with a wildly creative mind!

Here? he asked, turning a little to look where his son pointed. Still clutching Judah, he sat up and thrust a paw in the air. Right here? I don’t need to see him to kick him right in the nutsack. Just tell me where to punch, Caracal exclaimed, and I’ll get him, Ju!

He nods his head and a rattling giggle vibrates his chest. He squeezes his daddy’s neck as hard as he can. Daddy was the biggest and strongest and bravest wolf he knew! Of course he could defeat the monsters, daddy could do anything!

But there was a problem, because daddy wasn’t always there. Sometimes daddy was gone from the den, or out with Gramma, or sleeping. And that’s when Leviathan came the most: when daddy wasn’t there.

“Papa, when you asweep he come. Or when I look an can’t fine you. Don leabe den, das when he come, stay home Papa?”

Judah insisted this figure only came to him when Caracal and Heda were asleep or away from the den. Caracal let his foreleg go limp, his lips twisting into a contemplative pooch. As much as he would’ve liked to promise to always stay by his little boy’s side, that just wasn’t realistic and he didn’t want to be dishonest with his son.

I have to leave sometimes, especially in order to find food, but for other things too. It’s just not possible to stay in the den all the time, bud, Caracal told Judah gently. What we need to do is face this monster and tell him to leave you alone! Or maybe—maybe what we need to do is befriend him! God wants us to love our enemies as well as our neighbors, you know. At the very least, we could pray for him.

Befriend him?!

But… he’s taller than four daddies! Wider than the denmouth, more gloomy than the darkest night and with a voice thunder-deep! And he smells like Malakai after too many crab dinners.

God wants them to love everybody, but how could he love a monster?

His giant full-moon eyes gaze up at his father, little rusted wheels in his head straining to turn.

“How do I make fwend, Papa? Maybe… a gwif? Or… to sing a song, lie Ami dose? Will he leabe? He is scawwy.” If his father could see him, he knows he would agree! Judah didn’t want to encourage Leviathan to stick around… but attempting a friendship seemed a less scary alternative than kicking him in the- what was it called?

Nutsack.

You try to talk to him, Caracal replied immediately. Introduce yourself, then ask him his name. Then you won’t be strangers, at the very least. Then, yeah, you could give him gifts or sing him a song. I bet he’d like both of those things a lot. Then you’ll become pals and I bet he won’t scare you anymore. But if you still want him to go away, maybe you can ask him nicely to leave you alone and come back some other time.

He wondered if he was playing along too much, feeding into a delusion of some kind. But Caracal still clung to the notion that this apparition was similar to an imaginary friend. One day, Judah would grow out of it. In the meantime, his papa just wanted to help him cope with something that seemed to truly bother him.

No matter what happens, just remember I’m here for you. So’s your mama and your brothers and sister. We won’t let anybody do you any harm, okay? I promise. Now… Caracal had been clutching his son this whole time and now made to loosen his hold and slip away from him just an inch or two. What do you think of going on a walk with me? Just a little one.

“Okie Papa, I say name an ask name an ask leabe,” he takes a huge breath after all that effort to speak, “And pway. I do it,” he decides. He could be big and brave like Papa. Bold like Dinah. Strong like Malakai. Fearless like Simeon. Wise like Mom.

He nods his head on it, he knows what daddy says is right. He will never let anything harm him!
And maybe Leviathan isn’t even trying to do that! Maybe he just looks scary! And no one could help how they looked after all! Maybe he was born spooky and was actually just lonely. Maybe he could be Judah’s special friend.

But this newfound resolve was tested by Caracal’s proposition and the cub stared reluctantly at the new world beyond then back up to his father.

“Um, cawwy? Papa?” He asks, bundling himself at daddy’s feet.

Judah wanted to be carried. Caracal contemplated this, though the pups were growing fast and he had never been a particularly large or powerful wolf. But if there was some other way he could convince his son to accompany him…

What if, he proposed, bending down into a playful bow, you rode on my back?!

An even better idea!
His own personal chariot! How exciting!

He’s spurred to his hind toes and hops up and down against his father’s legs, reaching up his shoulders with eager puppy paws.

“Wide! Wide!” He chants enthusiastically as he attempts to scale the golden mountain that was his dad. He didn't get too far before slipping back to the ground and gearing up for another go.

To make things easier for his son, Caracal let his belly drop to the ground. Judah wasn’t very large, though as his weight clambered over his dad’s shoulders, Caracal remembered just how tired he felt. He would probably wear himself out doing this, though he quietly thought to himself: Worth it.

Once you’re settled, make sure you wrap your forelegs around my neck, Caracal coached. Just don’t, like, strangle me… he added with a laugh, holding as still as he could.

“Okie!” He all but screams and sprints off, giving himself ample room to make this jump.

He falls onto his tummy, plunges his bum skyward and kneads the ground with his little feet. He shimmies a few times then lurches into the air, his battle cry an exhilarated high-pitched squeal as he shoots right for the top of Daddy’s shoulders.

The impact swings his rump over to the other side but his arms coil around Caracal’s neck and prevent him from falling. He scrambles to fix the overcorrection, kicking up and planting himself firmly on top of his noble steed.

The success of his leap and the thrill of his mount momentarily allay the fear of leaving home!

“Giddyap Papa!” He howls between explosive giggles.

If he thought being choked sounded bad, it hadn’t even crossed Caracal’s mind that Judah might try a running start. By the time he glanced over at his son, Judah was already speeding toward him. Caracal only just managed to brace himself for impact, which punched a wheezing puff out of him. Despite being strangled after all, one forepaw came up to hold Judah’s arms in place so he wouldn’t fall off.

Caracal took a moment to gather himself, then slowly pushed upright. Judah was heavier than he looked, though he thought he could manage… for a little while, anyway. Besides, hadn’t he said they wouldn’t go far? They were just going on a little stroll, that was all…

This ride only goes one speed, he quipped at Judah’s cry of, “Giddyup!” Slow as fu—uh—udge. I don’t want you to fall off, buddy, Caracal said, turning his head to kinda sorta look at Judah perched on his back.

He’s done it. He’s leaving the den.

He turns his head to give home one final look, but he isn’t scared.

Caracal moseys along and Judah doesn’t mind the pace, it gives him plenty of time to look around. He feels powerful being up so high! He can see everything- and what a world there is to see!

Clouds! Streaking across the sky, and pale birds cawing overhead! Fluffy green bushes! A grove of big tall trees! Little white blossoms that blow in the- wind! There’s so much wind! It flutters his cheeks and tickles his ears and he bristles with laughter!

“DADDY! LOOK!” He vibrates excitedly against his father’s neck and swings out his paw towards some unfathomable oddity: it is the first time he sees the sun in its true brilliance (though he figures out pretty quickly you can’t look directly at it).

He points everything out to Daddy! The big stoney pillars down in the ocean, a trail of quails that nearly cross their path, a pile of sparkling salmon-colored pebbles, and greenish ones too, the water and how it rolls against the cliffs and glimmers in the sunshine. There is so much color! So much movement! So much life!

Every new discovering elicits a laugh or an “oooo” or a “WOW!” Each one is just as impressive as the first!

No wonder Dinny and Mal wanted to go- he was starting to get it now!

And once he made friends with Leviathan, he could go along with them!

“How God may all dis Papa!!!”

He was gonna be swaybacked after this, for sure, but Caracal didn’t complain. Every time Judah squeaked in excitement, he looked where he pointed and grinned at his little boy’s enthusiasm. It was like being on his papa’s back put him just that much closer to the sun, melting away all his fears.

God created the light, Caracal said, shifting his weight to his opposite hind leg as he swept out a foreleg, and everything it touches. Then…

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

He called it a day.

“Oooohhhh I ged it!” (he did not).

How did God create light? Could Daddy create light? Is this a thing that all wolves could do? Was God even a wolf? Was God even an it? Why is God invisible? OH! A bunny!

“Wha bout dat shadow-y place, Papa?” He stuck his paw out toward a distant thing- like a mountain in the middle of the ocean, like their island, but much, MUCH bigger.

Caracal snorted at his own joke, then snorted even louder when Judah proclaimed that he got it. Maybe he did. All the kids were surprisingly smart (surprising considering they were fathered by him).

Hmmm?

What did Judah mean, “shadowy place”? There were no such things on the island. It was made of sunshine and good vibes. He humored his son by looking all around, though he began to wonder if this was another thing only Judah saw, like a mirage.

Maybe that’s where your friendly monster lives? he made his best guess.