Lion Head Mesa put my heart in its recipe

The greatest heights of the mesa afforded her a great view of the prairie that expanded far—and not so far was the dark blotch of Blackfeather Woods, looking unusually small at this height. She stared at it for a while as the sun rose, wondering if she was strong enough to go.

Her body, perhaps; her mind, no.

Sheogorath continued to chatter on, goading her there. Each shouted instruction sent pain through her skull, but this morning, he was quiet, and peace had settled, even for just a moment. Her head was clear of hurt and worry.

Akashingo was good for the soul, she thought. And Pharaoh's gods. . .

Maegi sat and then lay on her belly, forelegs outstretched. She surveyed the great swath of grassland, blanketed in snow. The morning rays turned her pelt to a gleaming silver-gold; her eyes glowed, but her mouth remained frowning.

it was not wise for satsu to leave her chambers, yet she did so, wanting to breathe the fresh air outside of the palace.
soon her body would be too far along to allow such frivolous pursuits. even now, rounded at the sides and obviously off-balance from her usual dancing steps, satsu knew she was being selfish.
she saw a pale shape - a woman - basking in the sunlight. for a moment her mind startled; she saw the long dead maggie laying there and sucked in a sharp breath.

She lifted her head at the sound of pawsteps, and the frown faded. Hello, she greeted, adjusting her weight to rest, sphinx-like, on her belly. She observed the woman, gaze raking over the curves of ear and cheek and neck and—

Maegi ripped her eyes away after a lingering moment, giving an awkward smile. She'd noticed her pregnant belly, and wondered who'd sired them. Pharaoh, surely?

I am Pharaoh's guest, she said, and her voice was a touch defensive, as if she was to be kicked out, or taken somewhere else. The events on the island had rattled her; bar the occasional moment here and there, she found it difficult to let down her guard. My name is Maegi.

her husband had mentioned new additions. he had not been specific about this one; but when she turned her head and satsu glanced upon the ever-present smile set upon her face, the queen balked.
she recovered quickly -- perhaps not quick enough.
i am his queen, she answers, tipping up her chin ever so slightly.

That answered that. She made a regal appearance, indeed, and Maegi inclined her own head in respect to her superior here. She shifted her forelegs, stunted paw resting over the better.

Should I call you 'Queen,' then? Maegi asked, humor in the words but no pique. Seeing as I don't know your name.

She let her muzzle swing in a slow semi-circle, gesturing down the rocky slopes of the mesa. You have a beautiful home, she continued, and smiled. I grew up not far from here, and explored a few times.

But not as much as she was, now. Strange, that Blackfeather Woods was just within her grasp, and yet she had no inclination—at least as of yet—to go.

Sheogorath had been too quiet.

this wraith-woman spoke in a direct way that satsu appreciated. there was no dancing around to appease, no show of falsehoods, no masks. it was a little bit like walking in to a wall though, and satsu did not immediately answer anything that was said.
she stared a moment, listening, drawing in a careful breath to calm herself as she adjusted to the manners of this stranger.
it is beautiful, she agreed.
to my people i am sobek-neferu, but to my friends i am satsu. tell me, will you be staying with us? which name will you choose?
this woman was a breath of fresh air within akashingo according to satsu, but she could not make the distinction for her. maegi's talk of home meant there was a strong possibility she would be gone once she'd recovered from... whatever it was that brought her here.

The smile froze upon her face, and then slowly disappeared, leaving her expression flat—save for the wickedly inappropriate permanent curve of her ruined cheek, which belied the coldness of her eyes. Not anger, or fear, but desolation.

Sobek, she whispered, and she was suddenly upon that frozen moor;

She was screaming, but her mouth was shut;

He was so cold. Why was he so cold?

The woman's voice cut through the icy din, the sound of her anguished shrieks.

Satsu, she said finally. Everything was quiet, again, and she'd snapped back to her body upon the mesa. Maegi looked at the queen in apology, her heart still caught in that long-torturous vise. I. . .I'm sorry. My son—he died young. His name was Sobek. You. . .reminded me, is all.

She let out a breath that fogged briefly upon the air. The weather was warming. You'll be Satsu to me, if that's all right, she chuckled weakly.

Satsu was surprised that a piece of her royal name should have this effect. She saw familiar pain cross over the pale woman's face and averted her own eyes from it, feeling uneasy for having witnessed something such as this, or reviving such a memory.
She had never lost a child, but she had lost brothers. It was not so different.
That is splendid, she answered for Maegi, welcoming the friendship.
I am sorry, it... it must hurt very much to lose a child. I cannot imagine. Her head shakes softly back and forth, before putting aside the topic for something brighter - hopefully.
I like to think Akashingo is a welcoming place. I hope it has been good to you.

She relaxed—not immediately, but gradually, and she was able to let the ice fade from her visage, if not her heart. It has, Satsu, Maegi assured the queen. Everyone has been wonderful. It's been very peaceful.

A question bloomed in her eyes. How did you meet Pharaoh? she asked. We were once upon an island together, and I took to him. He's very religious—and the way he spoke about his gods has stuck with me to this day.

She imagined he had a similar effect on others. Perhaps not in the same way—he was handsome, and probably popular with wolves of all inclinations—but there was no doubting he was magnetic.

As was Satsu, with her pale eyes and trim form. The two were a good match.

nobody had asked her this question before. perhaps the subjects of akashingo thought the pair were god-made, placed together from the start, as the adam and eve of the palace.
we were both saints, once.
satsu watched the other woman to see if this registered in any way. the notoriety of the saints was not something satsu was proud of; but she had escaped them, they had escaped them.
i met him soon after joining their ranks. before i knew what they were -- on this she was tight-lipped, frowning slightly. i thought he was quite full of himself. at the time i was in mourning, but as we got to know one-another i learned he was smarter than he looked, and cunning in a way that i needed.
here her smile spread like the dawn.
and we escaped that place together.

She didn't miss the look upon 'Saints,' and she gave a brief shake of her head. She'd never heard of them. Apparently not a good group, filling the void that, long ago, Nightwalkers had, and before that, her own family in Blackfeather Woods. She had no love for such packs.

Thus, she was glad Satsu and Pharaoh had escaped.

I wonder if that was before or after I met him, Maegi mused. She gestured briefly, vaguely to Satsu's rounded middle. Do you have any names for your children? Or thoughts of what they could be?

Of all the tribulations in her life, Maegi had never hated being pregnant. She'd enjoyed feeling life grow within her—even Blueberry, whose conception she'd rallied against until the bitter end. She wondered if the queen felt the same way.

At once the woman understood, yet lacked recognition for the name. She was older than Satsu and perhaps had encountered a variation of the Saints once, or someone like them. They shared a knowing look before moving on.

Maegi motioned to Satsu's expressive girth and asked a question nobody else had considered. The queen smiled, but shook her head.

I think, when they are born, I will know who they are. She mused aloud.

In my culture... The woman names her daughters, but the man finds the name of the sons. I hope I have sons to please Ramesses; he wishes for heirs, of course. That said, Satsu did worry. What would become of a daughter born to this place?

She frowned a little. He'd be a fool not to be pleased with daughters, Maegi said baldly. All children are a blessing. And she wouldn't be happy with the Pharaoh if she heard any whispers otherwise, once the pups were born.

That said, she now found herself a little more in Satsu's court, happy to stand up for the woman if need be.

Are these your first? she asked, a little gentler, the smile returning to her face.

She smiles the kind of waspish smirk of someone trying to be pleasant, but the sentiment that Satsu picks up from Maegi sours her a little. There is agreement in her heart - that her husband ought to love his daughters should he be so blessed - but it is at war with what she knows of him, as well as the culture of her own people. A lineage fails when there are no men to carry it.

Yes, she responds after a thoughtful pause. I am not sure what to expect, but I am in good company here. Our fellahin - well, they are skilled in many things.

There was no putting aside the apprehension she now carried, though. A changing body was one thing - needing to trust these servants during the end result, another.