Hushed Willows We crumble and fall, but we don’t break

It was another one of those restless nights where the red woman knew she wouldn’t find sleep any time soon. Her dreams, her nightmares, all mingled together. Lying in her den, she fiddled with the furs, attempting to keep herself occupied, but it was to no avail once the walls felt like they were closing in.

She needed the open air of Hearthwood. She needed to know Reverie was alright.

The almost nightly strolls were never brought up, never disclosed, because, she knew, that others would find her…obsessive? Suffocating? Over-protective over someone that was not even hers. It was not malicious, this want to care for Reverie; truly, she wanted to make sure the leader of their pack was supported. Loved, even if it would only ever be one-sided.

The wolf would burn to ash for the Angel, if that meant it would save her. If that meant Reverie’s life would continue on a become something beautiful. Heaven on earth.

@Reverie assume Rei is wherever Reverie may be found. Den-wise or other.

All of her time was spent with her daughters. She kept them close, even Blossom, unable to sleep each night unless she knew where her oldest daughter was. The other three were impossible to lose track of for now, and for that she was grateful. It wouldn't remain that way for long.

Even when her children were all accounted for, sleep did not come easily. Her thoughts were swept up in the future, the work she would need to do to ensure that her daughters had a future. Reverie was under no illusions about her ability to lead a pack alone. Hearthwood would not stand forever. What they needed was allies, true allies; packs they could look to for support, places her girls could seek shelter if the pack should fall. Perhaps in the process of gathering them, she might find her own footing as a leader. But she knew she couldn't count on that.

It seemed that Reina shared her restlessness. Reverie was feeding her daughters when the Middleman found her, mulling over the packs which had attended the large hunt. Moonglow and Moontide were obvious choices as allies. Akashingo, too, though they hadn't been present for the hunt. Reverie had seen the strength of their pack. Kvarsheim, too, though she would save that visit for later, when she could bring her youngest daughters along to meet their grandfather.

But these thoughts were interrupted by Reina's approach. The Coach managed a tired smile. Blossom and Everett are sleeping, I think, She said softly, a gentle warning against any loud conversation. Her gaze drifted from Reina in the next moment, and her thoughts drifted with it. Reverie found it difficult to stay present, even with so many others near to ground her. What do you think about the coast?

She found the new mother in the midst of feeding her babes and she couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped her. All was well tonight—for the time being. Reina knew all too well that Life was a trickster, a Joker in the Court of the Universe. There was always something else, something to ruin her life and those around her. Maybe a black cloud followed her wherever she roamed?

Putting those thoughts aside, she stepped to Reverie, heeding the soft warning regarding the others. Her head cocked at the Coach’s question. The coast? The sea was beautiful, but also slightly terrifying.

“I’ve only seen the Coasts of home, and, though the lands and seawaters were beautiful, they were dangerous. Why do you ask?” 

Her eyes dropped to the littles suckling and her heart swelled to see them thriving. They were beautiful, little miracles. After the first had been born sleeping, the healer feared there were more who would never know their first breaths, the scent of their pack, the love of family. She so badly wanted to snuggle them, to love on them, but she knew better, and so she laid herself gently down close enough to speak quietly, but far enough to give respect.

Beautiful, but dangerous. Reverie yawned and wiped some of the tired bleariness from her eyes. As difficult as it was to sleep, exhaustion still came for her. But her thoughts were buzzing too loudly to even think of settling yet.

I can't stay here, She confessed softly, eyes finding the mouth of the den and the darkness that lurked beyond. In her mind she saw all of Hearthwood. This is Boone's place. Our place. And now he - He's gone. Reverie still couldn't bring herself to say it aloud.

There are too many memories here, Her voice wavered slightly as she finished. So I thought... we might go to the sea. When my daughters are old enough. I lived there once. She'd lost a husband there, too, but that hadn't hurt quite so terribly. She'd been ready to lose Lestan. This was cruel in a different way, and it cut far more deeply.

It wasn’t a surprise to hear the Coach’s admission; she knew the feeling of wanting to escape a place that held the memories of those she loved. It has been said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but she found that she never wanted to return to Rhodesia. The Teekon Wilds was her home—Reverie was her home now. 

She knew that whatever Reverie chose, she would follow. There was no question. It cemented in place when the babes were born, the undeniable need to protect them and their mother. 

“You want to leave the Willows for the…sea. I’m not opposed, though I haven’t visited the Coast. But, I understand, Rev, I really do.”

The pain of loss, the grief it brings—it’s like no other pain. Boone was, and will always be, an integral part of Hearthwood; the widowed mother was surrounded by him here.

“Are you really sure? The pack, too?”

The pack, too, Reverie nodded solemnly, grateful for Reina's understanding but seeing her hesitation. The whole pack would hesitate, she knew. Perhaps not all of them would follow. We'll lose some of them, I'm sure. But I can't raise my daughters with his ghost. I'll - I'll go mad if I stay here. A tremulous, humorless laugh followed the words. She'd already gone a little mad, she thought.

She still glimpsed the bird sometimes.

It's like... he took everything with him. And it's still here, all of it, but not in the same way, Her eyes burned with the beginning of tears. A too-fast, frantic sort of laughter bubbled from her. But she stifled it quickly. I can't - She tried to steady her breathing. I - I'm trying so hard not to think about it. I can't grieve right now. I can't, because I know that I'll break when I do. And I have to -

Reverie was calming already, steadying herself. Her eyes found her newest daughters. I have to be strong for them.

The healer nodded slowly, fully understanding the weight of leadership. Reverie’s duty to the pack would always come first, much like how Reina felt in her blossoming role as the pack’s healer. Though, if her say had such sway, she would have Reverie come first, the pack second. 

It seemed that it would always be this way. But, would it? Thoughts of Everett threatened to pull her away from the hushed conversation. Another delusion, another dream. One she couldn’t bring herself to voice, not to Reverie; the last conversation with him as the subject ended poorly.

No, she shoved those thoughts away. A quick shake of her head, she sighed. “We may lose some, we may not. But, I will go where you go.” The babes below had squirmed, drawing her eyes to them, a soft, loving smile played on her lips as she watched. “Your daughters will not know his ghost here, but they should know his life.”

She was sure that would be the case, and it hadn’t needed to be voiced, but she was slowly getting lost in the way the little ones moved, their tiny noises, their scents. It was mesmerizing.

Her eyes lingered for a moment on Reina when the woman next spoke, filled with gratitude and affection. Reverie wasn't sure what she'd done to deserve such loyalty. But she needed it now more than ever; she wouldn't question it.

They'll know of him, She said softly, gaze finding her daughters again, but a faint frown crossed her features. But I don't have a name to give them. I - I guess I should have asked Boone about his surname sometime before marrying him. Her heart ached even to speak of him and their marriage. Reverie tried to brush past it. Do not think about it, Kukutux had said.

It was all she could do.

Blossom is a Mayfair, Reverie turned thoughtful, glancing toward where her daughter slept. I think - I think we should all be the same. A family should share a name, shouldn't they? She looked to Reina for her thoughts.

A name is only just that, isn’t it? It was not something that she had ever pondered over, though she never really needed to before. In her world, it was bonds that made a family. A name is just an identifier, nothing more than a connecting word that anyone can claim. 

Bonds are different, intangible ties between souls. A close friend can be considered family, yet surnames do not match. That doesn’t make them any less family than those who are blood-related, sometimes they can even be more.

“I don’t see surnames as very important; it is what ties people together that makes them family. It is different for everyone, of course. But if you want them to be Mayfairs, then that is what they shall be.” She paused a moment, an interesting concept coming to mind. “Have you ever considered creating your own surname? One that you could all adopt. Think of it as a fresh slate. Or, maybe, something as a tribute to Boone?”

She had hoped it wasn’t an insensitive idea, it was still so very soon after finding their Harbinger missing.

It was something that she had considered before—a new slate. A new name, even just a new surname. One that she could claim for herself, to move on from the past.

A tribute to Boone. Reverie wasn't sure she liked that idea. She loved him dearly, but that didn't change his failings; it didn't change how alone she'd felt in those final weeks. And what had he done to contribute to the lives of his children, truly?

Why not a tribute to herself?

Maybe not Mayfair, She conceded after a moment, thinking of the curse Lestan had spoken of now. These children already bore a curse of their own, surely. There is power in the blood. Medeiros blood. Medeiros, then. That was my name before Mayfair, before any of it - and Everett still uses it too, I think. A name she'd once cast off forever — or so she had thought.

Perhaps they could make something new of it.

Medeiros.

The red woman smiled, elated for the woman before her; the angel seeming to be carving her way forward, pursuing a future that she chose for herself—the power in that was something Reina could understand. She too chose herself, pushing forward into the unknown future. It was terrifying, daunting, full of what-ifs. But, she knew, and hoped that Reverie knew, as well, that one’s power is amplified by those around her. Surrounding yourself with those who only want to see you succeed and be happy will only benefit you, never to hinder.

And, Reverie needed that more than ever. 

“Then, that is what they will be known by—Medeiros.” The name tumbled in her mind easily, gently, pleasantly tickling her brain. She did not know what truly lay behind the name, and maybe she never would, so she would support it as long as it was of Reverie’s choosing. “It does have a nice ring to it.”

Reverie Medeiros. Everett Medeiros. Reina Med…

No. What a silly thought. The red woman knew her mind wandered too often to thoughts of the siblings, each with their own teeth sunk into her heart. It was absurd to picture herself adopting a name that will never be hers. 

Once again, a fool’s delusional folly.

It came from my mother, Reverie said softly, oblivious to Reina's turmoil. She was reminiscing; caught in memories of a different time. Her family was royalty. But she left all that behind to be with my father.

Everything but the name, And wasn't that odd? She'd never truly thought about it before, but she wondered now if her mother ever missed the life she'd abandoned. I don't know where they are now. My parents. But I guess it doesn't matter.

The future of our family is right here, Her eyes found her children again. They were royalty of a sort; heirs to Hearthwood, if the pack stood long enough to be passed on.

Her own inner monologue subdued itself to listen to Reverie’s words, the mention of royalty causing her mouth to drop slightly in surprise. 

The thought of love making people do crazy things crossed the red’s mind. Was it crazy to give up the status of noble birth for the wants of the heart? Reina did not really know how to answer that, but felt that, if she were in that mother’s position knowing what she does now, she wasn’t sure she would have made the same decision.

Everyone has their reasons, she supposed.

“Then, let’s build them a place befitting of the little princess that they are, and the Queens they will become. Wherever that may be, here, the Coast—it does not matter.”

Princesses. She thought then of her own childhood, and how she had never once dreamed of being a princess. It sounded like such a restricted life, so full of expectations. Reverie had always hated expectations. But this place, this pack — it was her own. There was no need to live by any rules but the ones she made.

Maybe it could still be here. What do you think about traveling? Her eyes were alight with a hopeful curiosity as they found Reina again. In The Gilded Sea we were nomads. We never stayed anywhere longer than a few days. I don't think it would work the same way here, but... maybe during spring and summer, when my daughters are old enough. And maybe - maybe that way, we could come back here. When summer ends.

They wouldn't be abandoning Hearthwood. Not forever. It was difficult to imagine ever feeling at peace in this place, but maybe the future would be different. Summer's end was still far in the future; it hadn't even begun yet.

Her family had been different, they weren’t nomadic by any means. The pack had been long standing, formed by generations long past, residing in the same territory for many, many years. They, in a sense, were considered the royalty of Rhodesia. There were many packs who tried, and failed, to overthrow her parent’s reign; her mother’s father, and forefathers, had also felt the burden of ruling Rhodesian National Park, but unlike their time on the throne, Reina’s family suffered in the end. 

It would be different this time. She was determined to protect her family, by blood or no blood, however possible. The thought of nomadic life did not bother her and it wouldn’t matter where the pack held ground. Whatever the case will be, wherever they may end up, she would make it her duty to care for the pack—for Reverie and her daughters—and to protect their safety until her very last breath. 

Of course, she would hope it never came to that and their lives would be effortlessly blissful. But, she knew better. 

The Jokester, Life, does not care for your wants. It only takes, it is just a matter of time.

“I would like to see the world, so yes, I think that would be a fine idea. But, I find a little of my soul tethered here—although, maybe it is you who I am tethered to, Reverie. I did not truly know what would have become of me, then, if you hadn’t found me and absorbed me into the pack. My home is here, but I think it might be because you’re here…” she trailed off, looking away for a moment, bracing herself for her own words. It wasn’t clear why she felt the need to say these things, but it felt good to give them voice, even if she was still skirting around the bare, unadulterated truth behind them. “You, and now your babes, are my family. Blood or not, our souls are entertained; well, that is how it feels to me, anyway. I find myself wanting your happiness more than my own most days—you deserve that—and if that means traveling the earth, I will follow you.”

Fading <3

It wasn't what she'd expected. Reverie wasn't sure she'd done anything to deserve the devotion Reina expressed now, the bone-deep sense of love and loyalty, yet she understood it. She understood that it wasn't always about what was deserved.

Sometimes, against all reason, you fell for a man who would never choose you when it mattered. Sometimes it was a woman who didn't truly want you but couldn't stand to see you with another. Sometimes it was a man whose life was destined to end before it began.

And sometimes it was the fire, the light you can never truly touch. Reverie took in a slow breath, finding that words escaped her. Rather than speak she reached out, wanting to embrace the woman in silence. There was nothing she could say.

She only hoped that she could prove herself worthy, in the end, of Reina's devotion.