Wheeling Gull Isle spirit desire

he was stuttering and stammering in life now it seemed.

unable to move forward with this sudden self-imposed burden upon his heart. he had spent countless hours stirring in the dark, wondering if he had been stupid. blinded by sinful desires when God had placed a whole blessing before him.

but now that blessing grew beyond him it felt.

now bartholomew often felt so small before @Heda.

her all knowing gaze and her piercing words. it had been her in his dreams as he all at once thrashed awake, a choked sound in the back of his throat.

a priest collar too tight around his neck, so to speak.

heda's constant attention to aquillius was ended at least for now. he slumbered.
bartholomew stole into her mind, and she lifted face to the brumous skies before she rose from where she had been hunting through the palm forest.
she found him — undone. concern lit her softgold eyes; the scent of salt and lavender trailed swiftly as if it were the transparent train of a ballgown after her figure. she knew his moods; his torments.
his distance.
"what is god saying?" she whispered, daring to push closer, to set her shoulder against his if he allowed.

he figured he might still be asleep, with the swiftness that she had come to him.

when she pressed herself close and he felt himself tremble.

you would hate me if i spoke it, and he gazed to her golden eyes. like radiant suns that burned him hot in the flesh. to know that he could speak his mind and perhaps shatter her.

for not the first time.

he should have said it the first time.

"hate you?" her voice was hushed and incredulous; she felt the tremour of flesh against flesh and wondered at it.
"look at where you have brought me, what a home you have made! you have taken me to a place where god brought me peace," the gold misting with tears that threatened to fall.
"hate you? i couldn't, bartholomew," tones gently pleading that he believe her.