Firefly Glen I know a boat you can get on

In the wake of the devastation, the Glen seemed emptier- not only because they were short several packmates, but because he felt that the spirit that had brought them together had lef them as well. He grieved for the loss of them all- not knowing where he could put his thoughts to keep them from constantly roaming back to dwell on one of the friends he'd lost, all in one fell swoop of fate. New loss served to aggrevate older losses too- and he was reminded of the pain he still carried with him, after losing his father, Finley and Elwood. The list of names belonging to wolves he would never be able to see again had grown- and he felt it was nearly impossible to turn his thoughts elsewhere. 

He felt adrift in the Glen, and had not been interested in spending time with his other packmates. He was still slow-moving and sore from his own encounter with a deadly predator, but did what he could to tend to the borders in a small area. It wasn't enough of a distraction- and he found himself burning with the need to finally talk to someone. So he called out- all the while knowing that neither of his leaders might want to talk- but knowing that he needed to. He howled for @Atlas and @Antares, hoping one of them might feel fit enough to give him a moment.

Turns out, he was not far off when the howl rose. He slicked back his ears at the realization though, toying with a lick of guilt for not reaching out himself sooner. But, Bronco's absence from the Glen had come at a bad time.. so bad that Antares scarcely had the energy to spend on it right now, sensing he was more wounded about it than he wanted to lead on.

Though he didn't really rush himself over, he made good time. As he stepped closer, formally arriving, he lifted his head, then found a tired voice to answer in. Atlas is still missing, he informed in lieu of a proper greeting. It was why the Blackthorn would have to settle for only him to answer, and believe him, he was not happy about it either. Best to preface with that, he thought, as he finally got a bit better of a look at Bronco's new scars. At least he was he still alive. And back here, too.

Almost as soon as he called out, he realized his possible error- though part of him hoped that his sister's beau might have returned without announcing his presence, and that he might see Atlas answer his call. It would be Antares, though, who came to greet him, his normally quiet, intelligent features showing signs of tiredness. Bronco frowned and shook his head when he was advised that their Beta had not yet returned. They were alike, in sorts- both having lost several friends, and a brother recently. And while there was no telling exactly what had happened to Atlas, he imagined that the not knowing was just as unbearable as learning of Osiris' demise. 

"I'm sorry, Antares," He said, surprising himself when he heard exhaustion turn his own voice into a monotone drawl. Grief had a knack of sapping energy. "I...Should have been here," He gritted.

Antares did not like hearing the status of his brother any, either. It was leading him to believe that the lack of news about his sudden absence was potentially bad. Considering the state that Atlas had been in last he had seen, it did not inspire great hope in him. Every day the trail only got colder, and he couldn't chase wildly after him when there was no proof he would want to be found.

Bronco's voice brought his ears up for a second, though he splayed them slowly out after. Was an apology what he had called him for? Or was sight of him truly that pitiful? The unfamiliar look of hurt he felt, despite him trying to shield it, made him uneasy in himself suddenly. Mm, he grunted, and looked away. He couldn't disagree, but maybe it would have only killed Bronco as well. Maybe he could have helped tip the favor, or help spare a life though.

Antares felt small, and cornered by his grief. I was too late, too. he added quietly, and glanced back to the Blackthorn once it was out. He felt his mouth sour when his unwarranted, knee-jerk next thought was: when am I going to lose you, too?

Antares seemed a bit distant, a bit closed off, like someone trying to save a book's spine by binding it shut, keeping all of its secrets hidden within. Bronco could understand, as he knew the pain, and he also knew what it was like, feeling obligated to hide grief so as to maintain composure, or save others from feeling the pain. While he wanted to help, and relieve that pressure from Antares' shoulders, he wasn't sure he'd be able to do so without shattering into a million pieces himself. They were both treading on the surface of an ice-covered lake, far too thin to support both of them at once. 

He felt pain in his throat as he learned perhaps his first, detailed insight into what exactly had happened when the bear had attacked the pack. Bronco had not asked for specifics, nor did he feel he was able to handle them, knowing how horrible it must have been. He felt as though he might vomit from the burning sensation at the base of his throat but he swallowed hard, trying to keep that pain at bay. Antares felt guilty, just the same as he did. He clenched his jaw. Antares wasn't wounded- so it was easy enough for him to know that he'd not been involved in the struggle with the bear. He likely felt the absence of those wounds in a manner almost as painful as one who'd received them from the bear's fangs. 

So he merely nodded. He wasn't sure telling Antares that he couldn't possibly always be where he was needed, or that he likely had a perfectly valid reason for arriving too late. The borders of the pack were miles and miles and miles- and no wolf could ever be expected to prevent danger, or simply swoop in and fend off an unwelcome trespasser every single time one came to the borders. He couldn't bring himself to say those words because every time he spoke them to himself, he found it harder and harder to believe. He wasn't sure he should be relieved that he wasn't the only one who felt that guilt, or if he should feel bad that Antares felt that way too. 

He drew in a ragged breath, and cleared his throat. "What can I do?" He asked softly. He wasn't sure- but he felt that at least asking such a question might give Antares the option of relieving some of his own stress by allowing him to help out in whatever way he could.

Tension was very evident, as it all seemed to weigh mightily on Bronco too. Antares had only assumed he knew everything he should, or at least as much as someone like Meerkat was capable of relaying. Maybe some of the finer details were hazy yet, but it all was still far too much to truly handle right now and without the right sorts of prompting, he was tight-lipped; too occupied in his own grief to really go beyond it by reaching out.

And it did take him a moment to brew up the right answer to that. What can I do? What could any of them do at this point besides live on? He was too hurt, and how could he admit this.. Antares sighed, and felt his shoulders slump as the breath left him, which he didn't fight any. He didn't know how he was going to fill the void, both in his own heart, and the one Osiris left in the wolves of the Glen. Just... help me pick up the pieces of what's still left, the dark Ostrega said quietly through the frown, searching Bronco's face then. He had to start somewhere.

Bronco frowned slightly at Antares' request. Part of him had wanted to explain to his new alpha that he'd been asked to go back and live at the Caldera, and that he felt a pull to do so not only for Fennec, but also to help out with the next generation of puppies that would likely be due in the Springtime. It wasn't often that Fennec asked anything of him- so her request for him to move to the Caldera felt very, very important to him...But at the same time, what would it have said of him as a wolf if he chose to abandon a pack that had been devastated so cruelly by the loss of not only their alpha and foundder, but several packmates as well?

"I'll do what I can." He responded. He would have to figure out exactly what was best- not only for himself, but for others as well, before he could make a well-founded decision on what he wanted to do. He couldn't simply choose to follow his heart and do what he pleased, not when he had an obligation to help out his pack- and a deeply founded respect for Antares, who was now leading the pack alone. "You need anything, you can always call on me." He said.

Antares had no inkling to the depths of Bronco's side of it. Not entirely. He was kept busy enough trying to figure this much out, one step at a time now that he was learning what it was going to take from him. And so it would seem, the answer was much. I appreciate it, he replied quietly, and dipped his nose in thanks when words felt like they lacked so badly. I know I have to figure out what I even need, first. It's all been.. so much, so fast, he sighed. That was proving to be such a hurdle when there was such a terrible void in his life. But, going forward, knowing who was left.. who was willing to still stand by him, maybe it would grant him a greater certainty; he was handling it day by day.

Same.. goes for you, he offered back carefully because he wanted him to know that he was important to him, despite how he seemed, surely. How is everything? I only heard the abbreviated version of what happened, he said beneath an unwavering look at the Blackthorn's expression. And then everything went to blizzards and shit here, so I never got to come check in after I got wind of your.. encounter, he gestured a bit, a bit sorry for it originally but knowing that Bronco would understand. He suspected he had faced some hell of a fight if this was how it had left him, so naturally he was curious about more...

He could only try to imagine what it was like for Antares, trying to lead a pack in the wake of such loss. He was not only thrown into grief, but into a position of responsibility- and not by choice. He figured that it likely made it even more difficult to assume the position of alpha, considering the fact that the responsibility had fallen into his hands because of Osiris' death. Atlas was nowhere to be found, as well, which likely made him feel both fractured by grief, and lonely as well. He wondered what was going on inside Atlas' mind- and he couldn't help but feel a bit of spite. Not only had Atlas bailed on his brother in the wake of Osiris' death, but he had also bailed on Meerkat. While he could forgive Atlas for acting irrationally out of grief, he still did not appreciate the effect it had on Antares and Meerkat. 

So he nodded quietly. Antares did indeed have a lot to figure out- and Bronco wasn't sure if he should step in and start giving him advice, nor was he certain he had any advice to offer. He also wasn't sure exactly how involved he wanted to get- it would be unfair for him to offer help, and step up, if he ended up deciding to relocate to the Caldera. So he would do what he could, while he could do it, without making promises he couldn't keep. 

He was a bit surprised when Antares offered to have his back as well, as he'd figured that Antares had enough problems of his own to wade through without having to worry about another family's problems. But he realized, then, that Antares had probably been just as in the dark about what had happened at the Caldera as Bronco had been about the Glen. While messages had been passed back and forth, they had been brief, and without details. 

"A lot," He admitted ruefully. "And the weather certainly didn't help," He said, with a nod. He didn't want Antares to feel as though he hadn't done enough to figure out what was going on at the Caldera- the weather had been too bad for even his mother to deliver an adequate message to the Glen. "I was about to come back to the Glen when a cougar attacked. Alyx- my younger sister- and Fennec joined in the fight, and it ran off, eventually, but...It definitely got the best of us." He admitted. The beast had been ruthless. "My mom tried to deliver a message, but I guess she got stopped by the storm, and attacked by some loner on the way back." He didn't know the details about that particular incident, as she had elected not to tell him, and he'd been too injured to properly register it anyway. "Meerkat showed up a few days later with news. And a few days after that, I guess a bear trespassed into the Caldera too, but it didn't  get at anyone, fortunately." He said. He'd only been vaguely aware of the situation when it had transpired, and had been told about it a few days later, once his concussion had passed a bit more. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back," He said, though he had a feeling that he'd been far too late to be much help, anyway.

A lot, indeed. He couldn't help that his ears fell back a bit as the story thickened, adding on a new level of bad that no one needed. His expression crinkled a bit as he digested what he heard, though he was grateful for an upfront explanation of this much detail, from cougar to bear to all else in-between. Antares sighed, thinking this really had been hell lately, and it was not an isolated incident in the Glen.

What sort of bad luck had fallen onto the wilderness lately? Awful. I knew it was bad, but.. he scoffed when there was no point trying to find the words for that. It was just appalling to him how it was so many things all at once. Then, to the apology he just sort of scowled for a moment. Don't be. You had enough to deal with, even before it went down here too, his voice was tired, but Antares meant it; the poor timing of everything was a sore enough spot for him even without Bronco feeling bad for it as well. None of them had been in the right place at the right time for all sorts of reasons..

I'm just glad.. that out of everything ugly lately, he sighed, navy eyes shut because he trusted the Blackthorn enough to not completely blindside him for a second or two. .. that at least you're not on the long list of dead, too. He searched Bronco's expression then but kept it quick before looking away, and feeling a little like moving before his feet got any itchier. That cougar could have easily done it, or even that bear, or something else completely unforeseen. This was all making him exceptionally aware of how fragile life, and its bonds, felt.

Might tidy this up here-ish considering all they have going on now, if that's cool with you :)

They'd both been through too much. They'd lost friends and family, and both of them felt guilt for not being able to protect the wolves they'd love and had lost. There was no blame, only reassurance and reconciliation. They had both done what they could, and now stepped into new roles and responsibilities, while trying to hold what little they had left together. Part of Bronco still felt guilty knowing that in his heart, he wanted to go back to the Caldera and live with Fennec- but for now, he would fulfill the promise he'd made to Antares. 

"Same to you," He replied, solemnly. On any other day, getting out of a sticky situation alive might've been little more than a joke- but not when lives had been lost. "Another day, Antares," He said. Death had not come for either of them yet- but another day, perhaps.

yup works for me!

Too much, all too soon. They had both been through it, each in their own markedly disastrous way. For a darkly humored second, he almost had to appreciate how that was. It was almost impressive but as they agreed on, not everything was lost yet. Antares would be thankful for what was left. Yeah. he said, a bit distantly, though went ahead and let the conversation considerably taper there. If there was more to be said on that, it wasn't going to be from him.

A change of scenery wouldn't hurt any, either. He was fine in the company of silence, with or without, so he would extend the offer all the same out of appreciation. I'm going to keep walking, head north probably. If you want to, too. he rolled his shoulders and started to look that way, only really making that sort of decision now as he glanced Bronco over with a soft sigh. His next move would be to make towards this idea, farewells only if necessary.

"Sure." He wanted to get some more rest- but he figured he really should go along with Antares, at least for a little while. They could both use each other's companionships, as they both forgave each other for what was making them both feel guilty. They would have to be at each others' side, in order to push forward past the latest tragedy, hoping that with a more unified front, they could get through whatever else nature had to throw at them.