Ankyra Sound know that you shall die like whores
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Ooc — ebony
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Private 
whenever you have time! set for tomorrow afternoon.

@Rosalyn.
there was a great rift between them, a tension, an anger. they lay down together and woke together, but erzulie had never felt farther from the pirate as she did now.
the cliffs had remained silent, surprisingly so; erzulie told herself a patrol up through the tangle would not harm anyone. or she would go herself. many wolves had set off from drageda; they had not come back. whether or not they were merely a force to gather more, she did not know, but the knowledge that the dogs were headless and weakened pleased erzulie immensely.
even that revelation did not dissuade the ache in her heart; presently, she dug for clams in the wet sand, pausing often to breathe in the salt air. the children would come soon, her body knew, within the month, and all she could think of was whether or not they would have another mother to call their own when the time came.
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Fear is the heart of love
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She'd returned from her sojourn and known she'd need to face Erzulie eventually.  She hadn't wanted to until she understood what it was that she needed from such an exchange.  But it was becoming swiftly clearer that understanding wasn't coming anytime soon.  She couldn't even sort out what she wanted from herself.

She hadn't realized how much anger she held until it had all come to a head.  Firefly had been right about everything he called her on.  She'd torn apart (literally) the only one who had actually backed her up, alienated the only one she'd ever called home, and now had never felt so alone.  She had no friends here save Raleska, and who knew where that lay?

And Vaati.  She bore the marks on her neck, but what brought the fear and shame to burn in her was the memory of that pain.  Yes, Firefly was right.  She had no right to call herself a mother.

She found Erzulie on the beach and approached near the water's edge.  They made a pair, she thought as she stood silently, both of them swelling with pregnancy.  She felt the ache of her middle and her throat closed.  Suddenly she couldn't.  No words would come.
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likewise, erzulie lay her gaze upon rosalyn and was silent. her wife, scarred again by the pressures of leadership, the constant turmoil for the crown into which firefly had thrown them all. it was the way of their kind, was it not? to be endlessly vying against one another? well now vaati led, and erzulie knew if he demanded her fealty, she would not give it. caiaphas had been the only leader she recognized; it would remain so.
paws flexed against the sand; eventually the harlot found the strength to press onward, toward rosalyn. but still the words did not come, could not come; she merely paused to silently invite the other to her side, and then continued to plod along the shoreline, annoyed by the new heaviness of her physique.
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Fear is the heart of love
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The silence stretched between them, and as Erzulie looked at her, Rosalyn couldn't meet her.  When had it come to this?  In Ironsea she'd felt as though nothing could shake them, that even if everyone else turned from her Erzulie would never.  She'd been the one to bolster her when Smokestep failed them, and without that, she doubted that she would have even desired to try and lead there.  But somewhere between then and now, she felt she'd lost that.  The silence, the withheld words... she didn't know when it had started, but it had pervaded totally since Firefly agreed to elevate her.

She needed to speak first.  As Erzulie invited her to move, Rosalyn did not fall in step alongside.  Instead she remained where she was, with her head held low and her ears slicked back.  She needed to find something.

I'm sorry.  It was a start.  She did not know if she was completely responsible for whatever this was between them, but enough of the fault was hers that she figured it was the only start.  

I don't know what I did, but I've done a lot, and with some of it I'm not surprised if you don't trust me anymore.  She continued to look at the sand, digging her own paws in as her legs began to tremble.  Firefly told me that I was a coward.  That unlike you, I wasn't fit to be a mother.  I attacked him for it, but it wasn't a lie.  I'm sorry.  You deserve more.  

The last part was soft, because she knew what this was.  Even now, she was considering running - running before Erzulie could confirm that yes, she did deserve more.  She'd found what she needed in Caiaphas, in Firefly, in everyone here, and now no longer needed Rosalyn's company.  Before she left.
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elevated by firefly, dethroned by vaati — rosalyn wore a new threading of wounds and they caused another wince in the mismatched eyes of her wife. but erzulie did not pity the pirate, knowing it would do more harm than good. and so she listened in silence, pondering each thing her love spoke. 
quietly the harlot walked, unsure if she should touch rosalyn or not, and lifted her gaze to the wounded flint of her lover’s stare. ”i too am sorry. i should have not been so fierce toward you, supported you against what was happening in rusalka.” for that she truly was apologetic, and anger rose in her for what firefly had said.
erzulie released it, for what good would more ire do? ”he is wrong, an’ not fit to lead at dis time. i doubt caiaphas would have chosen him as de successor of dis place, over her own son.” falling silent, a bitter expression crossed her features. ”we ran from de bear, we ran from de redhawks. i did not want to run from drageda. firefly fat’ered dese childrun, an’ den all of a sudden, you became his confidant.”
a sigh. ”or so it seemed. i was bitter den, bitter dat you and firefly would make de decision to leave widout consulting me, ach,” she scoffed the last self-deprecatingly, looking toward rosalyn again. ”i let my pride get in de way, an’ it was wrong of me, mon cher.”
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He isn't.  The disagreement was almost inaudible, more a breath than a statement, but in it she could feel the out of control momentum that had been her existence these last few months careening towards a disasterous stop.  He was not fit to lead, but he was not wrong.

She'd thought at one time nothing could shake them, but here they'd been tested and fallen apart like loose sand.  She thought he was her confidant... that she would ever take his word over her own.  Even with her own self loathing, she had the wherewithall left to be wounded by that, and it showed clearly as she drew back.  I challenged him because I did not trust him, and rather than fight me he gave me a place.  It was stupid, but it was not for him.  Her voice was sharp with hurt, and while she knew a lot of it was misdirected, she couldn't temper it.  It would have been a question.  It was never a decision.  And it was a question she'd determined she didn't need to ask, because she'd known her answer the instant she came to see Caiaphas that day.  

I run.  It's all I've ever done, and it's all I know.  But I stayed for you.  This wasn't my decision, and it wasn't what I wanted.  You are the only reason I'm here.  She and Raleska... aside from them, she had no friends in this pack, and despite a growing dislike and a heavy restlessness on her chest, she knew she couldn't leave.  Not until her wife decided she'd had enough, and that she no longer needed her.  This place seemed to suit her in a way that even perhaps Ironsea hadn't... and with a growing ache she wondered if perhaps she simply wasn't going to be able to keep up.  She was struggling to keep her head above the water, but there was at least some small comfort in knowing you were drowning alone.
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erzulie had known how distant rosalyn had been, how seemingly miserable, and had attributed it to the pirate's lack of desire when it came to roots. but to know how selfish she herself had become in her dealings stung the harlot a great deal. she paused, seeking to brush her lips along the side of rosalyn's face if allowed. the contact would perhaps relieve the both of them, and a constriction rose in her throat, desperation to reconnect with her love even as words evaded her tongue.
she should have understood, should have known. "i was so desperate to have a home dat i let myself be rooted quickly. so tired of running. but ... it was not just my decision to make." glancing to the ocean now, to steady herself on the sight of it, erzulie sighed. 
"but i am not tied to any piece of lan', no matter how much it suits me, rosalyn," the jezebel whispered, turning her attention back to her wife's somber features. "you are where my home is, an' i should have said dat before."
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Did she even know what she wanted from this anymore?  She was sorry, yes, but she had realized now that she was angry too.  Angry for things she hadn't even understood until she stood here and said them, and now hearing apologies, was it enough to trust Erzulie's words were true?

The sentiment was familiar, what she said about home.  Rosalyn had felt that before coming here, and before Drageda and their separation she'd have sworn it was the truest thing.  But she'd returned expecting this only to find things changed, and to discover the woman who she'd allowed to become her world would stand behind Caiaphas against her.  Caiaphas... an individual who, while perhaps tempered now, had once ordered Vlad to kill her on little more than a whim.  What could she feel but betrayed, and afraid, knowing if such a thing happened again, she might be forced to leave here alone?  

She'd grown so used to indifference in her life, she didn't know if she'd ever learn to deal with this newfound fear of loss.

No.  She did not know what she wanted.  She'd changed as well these past months, and she could feel a weariness settle on her.  She didn't pull away from Erzulie's touch.  Her faith in her wife had been shaken, but not irreparably, and not nearly so much as her faith in herself.  In the count of wrongs, her self destructive rush at Vaati took highest score right now, and she closed her eyes as pain clutched at her side, as if echoing the sentiment.  She'd meant well in most of her recent missteps, but not that one.  

It does suit you, she replied softly, opening her eyes again with a leveling gaze upon Erzulie.  Had it been her choice, she'd have found a place to suit them both, but she'd given that chance  away when they'd each been gifted with children.  Besides... would any place ever truly suit her. It wasn't even a question in her mind - the answer was plain.

You are home for me too, more then I've ever had.  I need you to believe that. Her voice began to fray at the end, overwhelmed,  but she caught it.  It may not sound like a lot, places I've been and being who I am, but it means more than I can ever really say.
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unf i love them. fade w ur next post? <3

rusalka had become the home beneath her feet, the wild place upon the sea that she had earned in blood. and lo! had they not won? had they not driven drageda from its moorings and utterly sundered it? such a victory could not go ignored by the harlot, but home was altogether different.
erzulie had not spoken without truth when she made rosalyn the sum of that. if one day the pirate must leave, and their children were no longer in need of them, the harlot would follow. where the crimson-kissed corsair went, she would follow, not as a serf or one riddled with resentment, but a creature wholly unbounded and free to love after the one to whom she had given her heart.
slowly she reached out, then drew closer, folding her body against that of her wife, tears tasting of all emotions beginning to fall at the last. "i love you," she murmured against rosalyn's shoulder, the resolve of it burning in her throat.
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same ;.;

Erzulie closed the space between them first, but Rosalyn met her, returning the embrace fiercely.  There was still so much wrong, and very little tranquility to her spirit.  This had been the biggest of them, though, and the one wrong that had made the rest unbearable.  

Now that she and Erzulie had resolved in large part, if not entirely, she could begin to piece together the rest.  Rosalyn leaned in and shook with her, but did not cry.  Instead, through that tired indifference, she felt a massive release.  What came next, it did not matter.  No matter what, they would meet it together.  I love you, she answered quietly, pressing close and cleaning the tears from her wife's cheeks.  Always.