Wapun Meadow round round baby right round

She enjoyed stretching her legs because she enjoyed being away from Easthollow. She enjoyed being in Easthollow because it reminded her of Indra and it made her feel moderately safe. She enjoyed being away from Easthollow because she was afraid of getting kicked out still -- oh, the irony -- after Greyback had done that to Vespera, the one who had helped them kill the man -- kill me -- her hero -- she killed me, dearest, don't revere that! -- with a snarl -- and now she was gone. Laurel wasn't too sure where she wanted to be, lost in the middle of all of it and not really knowing what she would do if she would get kicked out, or leave. That was what kept her in place for now, perhaps, along with Xan's promise to do better. She wanted to believe it, and him not taking advantage of her -- oh, come on, you wanted it too -- when she was in heat was a good start for sure.

But it was hard to believe in anything in the hard, cold world that Laurel had experienced so far in her life, and she was just waiting for the next disaster to happen; and this time, she didn't have Indra by her side to mitigate the damage, to hate the world together with. The world had robbed her sister from her.

She was trotting around the edge of the water-soaked meadow on the fox glade side, her paws creating a sloshing sound as she moved at a leisurely pace around midday. The rain had stopped for a moment, at least, though dark clouds threatened to spill over sooner or later again.

she did not heed her mother's call, last night. she is too upset. messing with the frightened boy had given her only some measure of release; she still feels tense after the meeting with the other pack and her perceived abandonment for the sake of some stupid little whelps. it is not rational; it is not logical.

but rational, logical. . .Avicus is neither of those things.

the girl slept in a glade at the edge of the valley, and then in the morning, she set off. it wasn't "running away from home," per se—she just needed some time alone. the walls of the valley had started to feel crushing, squeezing her within the confines of her family's home. out here, she can breathe.

she travels a ways, chasing frogs as she goes. she is bounding after the squat creatures with hapless abandon when she spots the woman and halts, ears perked, fur slightly bristling. her scent comes to Avicus on the rain-soaked breeze. a stranger: not one of her family, nor of that other pack.

the russet youngster watches her from a distance, curious but wary. now here was a diversion.

When she saw another in the distance Laurel didn't instantly respond. Her body tensed at first, but soon it became clear that it was not an adult, possibly here to make her life miserable -- it was a child, looking a tad wary of her presence.

Laurel closed the distance as she simply continued her jog, her feet sloshing through the water. Her heart rate increased when she came closer -- it's her! -- when she studied every intrinsic detail of the pelt -- it's really her! -- and an excitement filled Laurel that she hadn't felt in quite some time.

Indra, she murmured. She did not know how or why it had come to be, but it had come to be -- oh, Indra, oh, how her prayers had been answered that her sweet sister should be delivered back to her side.

Details were easily ignored, whether it was because Laurel believed this to be a reincarnation of her beloved sister or whether she simply was brought back to a time when she was young herself. Laurel's tail wagged and even her abuser's dark voice did not whisper in her ear for but moments of time.

Hey, she greeted in a friendly way, a smile on her face -- perhaps not so unusual to Avicus, but unusual to anyone who had seen Laurel for the past year or so.

I missed you.

As if she was just greeting an old friend. Tail waved back and forth amicably and relaxed as she further closed the gap and slowed down to a walk upon almost reaching the girl.

makin me cry goddammit

to her absolute surprise, the wolf speaks. she smiles. Avicus looks around, wondering if she's talking to anyone else (she has to be, right?!). but her attention seems locked upon the girl, and her fur stands even more on end as the woman comes closer. and closer still.

hey, she parrots, not knowing what else to do or say. the casual greeting is completely at odds with her posture, stiff-legged, narrow-eyed. she is absolutely sure she has never seen this wolf before in her life. and to be greeted with such familiarity. . .

fear rises within her, sharp and sudden. she suddenly wants her mother by her side.

A 'hey' came from her mouth that didn't sound like Indra, but at the same time very much did. She recognised the stiff posture, which wasn't too strange for Indra, either; she had always been a lot less confident than Laurel, and it only made sense that she would be this way. It had been so long since they had seen each other, after all, in whatever form. And now here they were, by a surprising turn of events.

It's me, she said, eyes soft and caring as she looked at the Indra-lookalike.

I'm so happy you're back, Laurel said with an uncharacteristic soft tone to her voice, almost as if she was speaking to her own child rather than her would-be sister. This must all be new to you. I missed you so much... Please don't leave me again. Her words remained soft, no command about them this time; her sister was still tense, after all, she could tell.

Laurel moved in to close the distance, intending to softly brush her nose past the other's cheek and embrace her, pressing her head against the other's neck, would such a thing be allowed.

a growl already was in her throat; as the woman comes closer still, it rises. and it rises to a fever pitch as she dares to touch the red girl. Avicus aims a quick couple of snaps at the woman's muzzle and then backs away, puffing up, snarling.

a spitting fiery terror.
with cold indigo eyes.

not Indra. anyone knowing better would be loath to break Laurel's heart, but as it is, she doesn't know better. and even if she knew better, she wouldn't care. she doesn't know this woman from anyone and she damn sure isn't going to play this game.

not even her mother shows her this kind of affection. it makes her sick.

Laurel had seen enough not to be afraid of the fiery snarling pup, even as teeth drew blood on her muzzle as she snapped her away. Laurel stopped in her tracks, allowing the red girl to make however much distance she wished between them (or keep it closed, if she didn't move either). Her own body language remained neutral despite the snaps smarting on the bridge of her nose. When she saw the aversion she realised that it might be too soon. It must take time to get used to a new body, she said as she stared at the indigo-eyed Indra and realised that she must've reincarnated in this body. What else could it be?

But just know that I will always be there for you to guide you, whenever you need me. She looked at the ruddy girl and added: I see you. and waited to see her response, wondering if it would be more huffing and snarling or if she would give Laurel a chance to be there for her once more.

what. the. frick.

rather than responding like any other wolf would, with anger and teeth, this woman stays calm. her voice remains gentle. her face bleeds out, but her eyes are warm. Avicus is spooked.

'i see you.' of course you see me, why wouldn't you see me, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

fight hadn't worked, so it's now time to flee. bristling, she turns on her heel and runs, hopping from patch to patch of green grass, trying to avoid the muddier bits where she could get mired. she doesn't want to even chance the woman catching her up.

or worse. . .following her home.

she doesn't even dare to look back. it's probably just fear, but she swears she can feel the stranger's breath, hot on her ankles.

Indra—

She ran away, then.

Laurel just stood and stared as she watched life depart her once more.

A reason to live.

Gone as fast as it had come, and her previous optimism fled as soon as Indra's look-alike did. She would never see her again.

But at least you still have me.

And for the first time in her life, Laurel thought to herself that maybe she should end it all, find a cliff to stand upon and jump down and feel the wind blow past her skull before it cracked open into a million pieces on the ground beneath. It would be better, anything would be better than the pain.

But I won't let you.

And she broke down, sobs choking from her as she huddled on the ground and smashed her skull against the ground again and again as the tears kept coming, trying to break the pain, trying to overpower the pain inside her heart with something stronger, something more real, something else -- but it wouldn't allow her to -- now it was her head and her heart that hurt in equal degrees as she lay on the ground crying,

broken,

just like the day I

and she didn't see how she could ever be whole

-- was she ever whole to begin with? --

ripped your life to shreds

and she thought of how she had lost Indra's love before she died

took her away from you along with your dignity because you loved those children and she did not

and how senseless it was -- this -- all of it -- everything -- because she had less than nothing left and now the one thing that had given her a semblance of hope, of feeling good, of not just numbing but taking away the pain

do you remember, dearest?

that, too, was taken away from her, fled away just like Indra had

fled away from this life

how I took everything from you that day?

Rain pattered down as she ceased smacking her head against the dirt and just lay there until the water soaked her fur, until her cold skin made her shiver. Until her headache was consumed by how cold she was and how much her eyes hurt from crying.

But it didn't matter, in the end.

Even the piercing cold could not stop her heart from screaming.