Little Goat Mountain This is a perfect day to die

Exhaustion nipped at his heels. It was hard to breathe. Meadow had gone off in a tizzy and he was trying so hard not to follow. He knew she needed space, but he also needed something. The pressure grew and grew, it ached. Loud panting breaths. Every whisper, every noise set his teeth on edge. He pushed his body further and further. Up the slippery slopes of the small mountain. He pressed large paws into the ice, that colored the ground.

Each step the pain grew, the pressure weighing him down. Finally, when he could barely breathe he made it to the top. Each breath was like a million tiny flags of glass tearing at his lungs, the seams.

He roared to the sky, then his body hit the ground. Knees to ice, and head to paws. And he folded like a tin can. Ears tight against his head. Too many emotions in too many days. He hadn't had sleep since his episode really and rather than help him, everyone just put him in a further tail spin and he was lost.

His nightmares would plague him. He was back there again that place. The one where his had watched those he loved die. The blood to his knees. The wounds and claws and bite marks taht marred him. The pain in his throat. He was there again and this time. He couldn't wake up. He shuddered and shook in his sleep. All that he could do was wait for it to end. He whimpered in his sleep. Faceless shadows pressing against the darkness of his eyelids.

he must know.

he howled to @Fennec and set out to find the man reyson. outside epoch he caught the scent and he followed it through the sunspire for several hours.

"praefectus." his was a voice that demanded immediate attention. "it has been a long while since you were at your duties in mereo. have you absconded your duties?"

the canon of mereo demanded punishment. he hoped it was not so, for he liked reyson and for the man was the eagle concerned.

Loud voice. Pressing on all sides. But pulling him from the mire from the muck. Reyson moved with a gasp, and stared blankly at the wolf that had called his name. He tilted a head and shook it, again and again.

You don't look like one of Rook's spies, and you're not one of Amity's wolves. Soldier? Did they send you to my detail for a reason?

His voice was questioning, but cold. The one he had used countless times before when talking to those under his command. Something needed to break teh hold of him.

You shouldn't be here. They're all dead. All.

A sharp pain bloomed in his chest again and large head hit the dirt.

reyson turned and germanicus saw it, the madness of war.

the end of the soldier's tenure. he stepped forward with tense jaw and attempted to soothe the man awake.

his harshness had been unwarranted but perhaps necessary. "reyson," he said quietly.

Reyson shifted, moved his head away for a moment. He was being touched, why was this soldier touching him. HE didn't know him. But he needed to get back To Rook and Amity. She had been fighting hard. Rook had just come back, for the first time in his career he had been found out and Renaud.

Where's Renaud? He looked around. We need a healer. There's blood everywhere. Tore up my Amity and Rook, Rook he didn't look too good. Not like Renaud to leave his post.

Then his voice and he pulled, pushed. Sucking from teh mire. Reyson gasped and shuddered. His head shook and his blue eyes, blinked, blinked again.

Imperator Sir!

Reyson moved to get to his feet, averting his gaze and his tail tucked.

first reyson was not himself.

and then he was, resolved into the picture of military submission.

germanicus felt his stomach roll. had his order been the final one to break this man of war?

respect brought a grief he could not show. "reyson. you are far from home. let me bring you back."

but the man could no longer serve as a fighter.

perhaps mereo might still be a place of peace for him. he would wait however to see where reyson might indicate.

Reyson's tattered ears moved forward to catch what the Imperator had to say. A sad chuckle left his maw, as he looked over his leader.

I'm sorry sir. I hadn't meant to lose my control. There was a heaviness in his chest and he knew this was the end of the road. What if his mind broke when he was helping someone. A sense of deep loss rolled over him, and a sharp gasp left him before he could catch it.

i'll follow you, Sir. But i haven't found a new tree in Mereo yet.

He thought of Mereo, perhaps the sandy walls would bring him comfort calm the maelstrom of emotions that threatened to overtake him.

I was doing well, sir, but. I'm sorry I'm broken.

germanicus shook his head.

"not broken. a soldier bears what he must until he can bear it no longer."

he walked beside the man, gathering his speech. "mereo can be a place for you to retire, reyson," he said plainly. the man must know that this was the way.

"but if epoch is more suitable for your future, and you indeed have one, then tell it to me now."

good man. strong man.

A sickening smile colored the face of the beaten soldier. I thought I could bear more. And I tried. And I will continue to try if i Must. You must know Imperator that if I am needed I will not quell.

Reyson's tattered ears twitched. The many scars aching for teh first time in a long time. Heavy and painful they settled upon his pelt like bees, and barbed wire. Digging and biting.

I don't know, Sir. Right now I am just tired. his voice was quiet. Meadow and I fought about the Pharaoh, and Arsenio and Tamar and she told me she needed space and a walk. So I gave it to her. I told her she knew where i'd be when she was ready to find me. I told her that I needed to let you know. But I have not heard her words about it.

Reyson limped for a moment, as his mind was still in turmoil. Sorry. It seems that when memories fester as do old wounds.

meadow and reyson had fought. germanicus felt that surely this had been one lengthy episode by now.

he sensed the bone-deep weariness in the soldier. "you have served me faithfully, reyson, and those before me. my duty now is to ensure you rest."

the pharaoh.

how could ramesses find his way to the bottom of every conflict?

Reyson and Meadow usually got along just fine. This was the first time either one had been angry with the other. And it all came down to a miscommunication and a misunderstanding. When his brain wasn't so tired and his body so weak. he would seek her out if she hadn't found him and apologize, because he should and he already missed her.

Thank you, Sir. He knew he wouldn't rest. Perhaps for a day he would rest, but then he would be back at the borders leaving his scent and his mark. Ensuring that they were all safe that he had promised his life and loyalty too.

And thank you for taking the time to find me. That was a deep respect now that Reyson bore for his commander. Who he was certain has his faults, but had always treated him fairly and kindly. He hadn't needed to take a chance on a scarred soldier that had shown upon his doorstep, but he had.

"i have been pulled from battle by many a commander," he said lightly.

"come home and sleep a while. ask the lady aquene for a sleeping draught. it will chase the dreams from your head if for a night."

their path he began to move back toward mereo.

Reyson knew that well. Had shared that burden. Had pulled his own from teh battles until the last one, when he couldn't. When they all perished. He had wished to die that day. And he almost had. What gods had saw fit to keep him alive, he sort of hated them for it.

Very well.

he would follow and not argue. He knew Meadow would worry if she couldn't find him, but in his haze of sleep he couldn't worry too much about it. He was breaking. He too needed space and a walk.