Moonspear oceans & full moons, deep midnight blue

In the aftermath of it all, the dust had settled somewhat--as good as it might get, but it felt very much like a tenuous sort of quiet to the dutiful Jarilo. With so much having happened lately and so many of their own scattered to the winds now, there were many other directions to waste his thoughts on instead. He knew they needed to regroup soon before things at home simply gave them no other choice.

The guardian had been making a circuit of the northeastern borderlands when the cloudy skies no longer resisted, and naturally, a light sleet began to pick up with him. Annoyed, none too pleased with these lingering reminders of a wet soggy winter that wouldn't let go, he receded deeper into the forests. But, all was not exactly lost, not when this change of plans would not lead him astray: he suspected @Hydra to be near.

Hydra had gone to Lyra with an aching chest. 

The prognosis was nothing terminal, though it felt it. You are probably heartsick, Lyra advised. It sounded fatal, but Lyra clarified the meaning of it all. She grit her teeth to hear that she might miss one wolf so much. It was different losing someone to death than this awfully made choice. Death was permanent. Arcturus was alive, which she was glad for, but he was out there... not here. Where he should be. If he had left for different reasons, Hydra would still feel saddened for it but at the very least come to accept it by now. This, every bit of the way he went, was wrong. Arcturus was wrong. 

It was best he left though, she had come to accept. If he could so swiftly be turned and turn his back on them all in such a way, he could not be here in such a time. He had been ready to strike her down. His self-importance was to the point where he forgot the rest of the world was still moving while he went down the road he was supposed to know better than to travel. He was meant to be smart, clever. But he went down some rabbit hole at the most convenient of times: when they might need him most. 

Hydra had become numb, but the edges of anger lingered there. Anger was slow to come this time as she yearned to understand. What would mother say? Father? She did not even mean as leaders, but as parents to her. Her father would likely say that Arcturus was an idiot, and to forget about him for a while. Her mother would likely feel as bothered as she that it had been so easy for him to turn his back on them... for what? 

For nothing. 

She withheld a snort. The event would not reduce her; she maintained her dignity. Sleet came then, and Hydra sighed. She did not mind Winter, but once the entirety of the chilly season passed she would be glad to shed the season and the memories best left behind. 

Fuck this place, she remembered him saying, the sound akin to a gunshot. 

It all kept replaying. And anger inched its way further, oozing behind the brick and mortar and steel that again rose over a new, gnarled place upon her heart. Her ears backturned as she thought she heard the approach of another, and her gaze sought who. It was Jarilo, and her tail waved to see him there. Of all her brothers, she had never lost faith in him. Not even once. It made her consider some things in silence. Seeing him there was somehow a relief; her eyes softened, and she greeted him with a low humming noise in her throat and a slowly swaying tail.

Not very long after the suspicion occurred in the first place, he was no longer alone: Hydra did appear from the somber mountain's woods, first making him perk his head, but settle as soon as there was no room for doubt. His tail swayed back to match hers and swiftly, he picked up on what he could of her manner--tried to, at least, then chuffed his low greeting back as he moved to close distance between them, hopefully to allow him a lick or two at her chin, before he withdrew thoughtfully beside her. 

With everything, his meetings with her lately had necessitated a very different energy than the contemplative one he could carry now.. in one way or another, but here when it was all said and done, wolves scattered, and other more time-sensitive matters settled.. he wanted her to know he would not waver, not if he could help it, and not like them--though likely, they had wanted the same once. He didn't want to let her, or the family, down like that when it was already a delicate sort of time that they ought to get to have some simplicity for the sake of. Maybe it was just because now it had time to set in, and he had stewed over everything appropriately.. put all of his pieces together best he could. But he found he certainly did not suffer for his good graces upon the mountain. If anything, he was very comfortable beneath Hydra and Dirge's keep, not one to feel overshadowed but.. protected, secured, and perhaps in a day coming soon, so could his..

He blinked ahead, then back at his dark sister and brushed his shoulder against hers. Seems like a slow enough news day, right? he rumbled quietly to start, hoping at least for nothing bad on her watch, and that maybe she had got to enjoy some semblance of peace in her day so far. No trespassers, no cannibals, no unruly brothers to throttle. She deserved that and more, but he had a feeling even if nothing new had gone wrong; she still wouldn't have been able to still her thoughts, like him. Not only did their brother's absence leave a very angry wound behind, it was the nature of it that made it worse--and he did not like the implication of unfinished business there, which, time would have to tell how it would pan out.

Indeed, she rejoined, glad for it. For all the tumult of recent days, a slow day was much appreciated. Now for certain the matriarch knew of the life that was once more within her. She ached to think of what she had lost, but light filtered in as she became aware of what was to come. All that would, she felt, would ever be better than what she had lost in her lifetime. Her tail swayed behind her as she looked to Jarilo; he was a constant in all of this. She was more than grateful. 

Nosing him, Hydra prompted, how are you feeling about... everything? she inquired. Hydra had thought the scales might shift in their balance, but only her perception of Arcturus had changed in its weight. For now she felt the absence of Arcturus, more starkly than she had felt the loss of Terance when he had turned his back upon her... but Hydra had gone through this sort of loss before. Too similar were the events for her to be able to look at them any differently. Her brother viewed her as wrongly as her friends had, and the thought was so appalling to her that it was becoming easier to swallow that he had left Moonspear as he had. She only hoped that he would come to see he was wrong. 

His life was his, as it always had been. So were his choices. She imagined he would come to regret them in time... but perhaps not. Perhaps he truly cared not at all for any of them. Hydra did not know what to think, truly, except for that for all their time spent together he knew not a single thing about her to come to the conclusions that he had. It hurt, but she should have suspected it. She knew him, and his hero complex; heros always needed a monster to face, to truly become who they would. Hydra had never imagined, though, that it would be her. That hurt more than anything... but she was removing the knife he had wrongly placed in her back, slowly but surely. It would scar, but that would be the worst of it. This was not something she would not let fester to infection... dwell on it though she was, she knew she could not do so for much longer or else it surely would.

Jarilo knew times could change in an instant, and as such, it was wise to cherish any semblance of peace they could have while they had it, even if it did not feel whole. Nothing new had gone wrong and instead, they could take the time to regroup themselves, hopefully heal--but would it be enough? When his sister posed the question back to him, he first answered with a deep breath, and accompanying sigh.

Where to begin? Everything was so very much, and he was decidedly torn when he had very good things to consider among himself and Kukutux, but when he drew his sights outward, everything was not nearly so rosy. His brothers both left a painful mark, each different, and he knew Hydra carried the weight of this more than any of them; truthfully, he wondered how she was feeling about all of this as well. He would segue into that eventually, surely. For now, he must compose his thoughts. It's.. I'm not entirely sure. There's good and bad in things lately, he supposed, having plenty to be thankful for. While others treated her as the villain, Hydra ranked among them for him, and he hoped that she did not expect the same unraveling from him as the other brothers of their blood.

I've thought about it, our brothers first of all. I don't know exactly why it had to come to that with Arcturus, or why Wraen was involved enough to come here with him.. something about that doesn't sit well with me. An imploring look to his sister looked for her ideas on it; he had yet to fully pin down why yet, but he had thought highly of his dark brother and been amicable enough with Wraen but that felt.. too far now. For Arcturus to crumble like that so quickly, seemingly over Hydra's interference in the challenge between littermates, or whatever else had crawled beneath his skin and festered--but of course, this was all without Jarilo knowing his brother's perspective exactly. He could only suppose, and go off what he had seen for himself. And Revui, even.. in a different way. On top of what happened, that approach to.. whatever he wanted here, I didn't like the note he left on with Kukutux either, he said, nose tilting downward when he felt the urge to clench his teeth.

How are you feeling about all of this? he returned with, not letting ire sink in entirely then and there. He would rather keep the momentum forward, and hear her side of it, candidly--if she wished, he'd certainly listen.

Hydra nodded her head, agreeing. The only light she could see in the entirety of this situation was that at the very least, he who would in the end betray her would not be around to do so when she had cubs. If she considered him a threat to them, she would have killed him for it. He would have proven himself a man no better than the wolves she sought to bring an end to. She was thankful that he had the sense, if that was what it was, to go without striking a blow, too. 

It still makes no sense to me, she admitted. Even after mulling over what it could have been—having not yet spoken to Dragomir—nothing added up. Wraen is the only thing that I can think of, truth be told. She would not have been here if she had not someway been involved, she drawled, and she left without a word when Galaxy died, went with Terance, Rannoch, and the rest. I imagine, for whatever reason, she has a grudge against me when I have never been anything but kind to her, she shook her head at that. She wondered if Jarilo saw any merit in the thought or belief, and looked to him to see if it made any sense to him at least before committing to it herself. Nothing but that seemed to add up, though: he had never told me he was unhappy here, or acted such. Osiris was just attacked, she considered, and added, I understand if he was unhappy with my intervention in their fight, between he and Revui... Perhaps I should not have done that, she acknowledged, though I could not bear to see them fall as mother and father had. 

Was that what he and Revui were destined to do? 

...Next time, she supposed she ought to just... let them. Her heart would ache for it, but at least it would not be for betrayal. Was that any better, she wondered? 

Having not heard the note he left on with Kukutux, Hydra asked, and what note was that? with plenty of interest and pricked ears. Revui had left, and she had not caught wind of him since. She took that as his message to her that he was content to leave them all behind as he always seemed to, without a word. 

As for how she felt about it? Revui's place here will never be as a leader; I stood by Arcturus that day, and all my teeth were to put Revui in his place as our families own Omega, if not the mountains should he have remained. But now, I think that Revui has worn out his welcome here, perhaps for good. Revui and Arcturus looked as though they had bled one another dry that day. For much more to come, I think one of them, if not both, might have met their end. I could only think then that I did not want that; I hardly thought of Arcturus own role, or Revui's. Even so... I should not have gotten in between. Though if Arcturus delivered that final blow, I do not think he could live with himself. Truth be told, and between you and I, I think he would have turned his back on me for letting him, she hummed, but I still took that from him. And between Arcturus and Revui, I would always choose Arcturus. I thought, though, that I could save both. 

It seemed she had a bit of a savior complex within her, but this she stripped from her as the epiphany occurred to her. 

She sighed a little. I cannot go to see him, not in my condition. But he must have followed Wraen. Would you... check on him? she inquired, and... if he truly does not wish me dead, he could still meet his nieces and nephews once they are old enough, she quipped. She spoke for her own, though nosed him; if he was alright with it, so was she. I will let you judge who he is now and determine this for us all, as a segue into what would next come, a little sparkle in her eye. 

Come to think of it, there is something else I wanted to ask of you, she drawled.

Between them, she only gave his theories about Wraen's vantage point here more solid legs to stand upon. He knew of her involvement vaguely enough when it came to those too weak to run with them on the mountain, that she had turn-tailed when the opportunity came but he had been too young then to have a full understanding of the motives and all else. A mention of Galaxy, and a grudge out of nowhere and that was only more to steel him with. Now he really wondered why she seemed so adverse to a mention of a pack of mercenary types; did she have something to lose? A weakness to hide? Wraen always seemed friendly enough to me. An acquaintance, at least. Still, I do not trust it. I have no idea what she has against us, or what she thinks she has to gain in helping turn him against you.. if she played a role like I can't help but highly suspect, he spoke on quietly, then went on to absorb whatever he could about his brothers and the complicated scene they had woven. Jarilo couldn't fault Hydra for intervening, but then again, it wasn't his fight and never had been. She mentioned their parents, and he couldn't ignore the chill. I never would have guessed he was that unhappy either. Besides the Revui situation, but even then.. he should have known he would have our support, he sighed. But I guess he didn't want it.

Then, as for his sterling beast of a brother--the last-born to their line, and what a crash and burn he was proving to be after Hydra continued to shed more light on her side of the ordeals. Jarilo would gladly let her have this much to further solidify that he was not welcome here--that he had long lost the right if this was going to be how he treated them. He tried to get her to leave with him--to run off to I don't know where, and then that her pups would never be anything here, he replied, per his pale wife's telling, anyway. Jarilo sensed greed in the motions, and perhaps jealously in the statements.. but he was not too sure of exactly the whole cause here. It certainly hardened an edge towards his brother that he had not been expecting to need.

Anyway, though, he eased up with a nod to answer first. Yeah, I can go check. Maybe he will have had a chance to clear his head some by then, and maybe I can be a.. halfway neutral sort of party. I'll see.. Jarilo said, and as for what else she wanted to ask, he just nodded again at first and gave her the attentive pause from him to begin. He had a lot else on his mind too, but these were already heavy subjects that he had wanted to go through with her freshly airing out; he needed a moment, and a good upswing to come, but listening to whatever else she had in store would be a start.

Hydra considered, and drawled, likely she realized you were too much like mother to take anything she said with more than a grain of salt. Arcturus has... much of our father in him. Like Revui, she considered. Plenty of good, but the not so good with it, it would seem, she sighed. Her fathers actions had disillusioned her to his perfection in that singular regard, but in all other areas she thought of Charon as perfect. Arcturus and Revui both, for whatever reason, only seemed to take away the bad... unlike her, who emulated all the good he had taught. At least she, Lyra, Alya, Jarilo would do him proud as his children. She had faith that perhaps even Yam may, as she was still here. Time would tell, she supposed. Better that those who would only mar their legacy had gone...

It was the way she tried to orient her line of this, but swallowing this was hard for even her when it came to Arcturus. Was that true? 

It had to be. He had left them, turned his back on them—fuck this place—on her... 

Of course they would be better off, once the wound healed. It hurt now, as all fresh wounds did... especially when picked at and probed, as they did then. 

As he brought up Revui, though, Hydra stood taller. Every inch of her seemed to coolly ask, what? but the drifting of her gaze, the subtle clench of her jaw, the wrinkle of her muzzle to show her distaste and disgust both, would reveal she had heard him loud and clear. With every thing that he does, he reduces himself, she drawled, voice thick with her contempt. Her gaze shifted to Jarilo then, and she rumbled, I hope that Kukutux has now become aware, from this conversation if from nothing else, that by ways of intelligence... he is extremely lacking, she hummed, though she had thought Kukutux might have become aware of that from his challenge to Arcturus upon the Spear. Maybe not, but hopefully now... she continued, and he has been gone far too long for anything he says on any of our family to be of merit any longer. Your children, like mine, will be everything to this mountain. They are the future. They, like one another, are who we fight for, she hummed. For family was everything, and that they would be. 

Thank you, she started with, some relief evident in her voice. For all she thought on Arcturus, love had yet to leave her. Anger either, to be sure, and that seemed to increase by the day toward the entirety of the situation and how little it made sense... but, she neverminded that. 

It was time to think of better things, for a moment. I am not the only one who wanted to ask you, she seemed to realize. It had been a discussion between she and her mate, and she called to @Dirge now; when her summons quieted, she turned to Jarilo with a sly look.

Her summons roused him, though not from the throes of a fitful rest, but his thoughts. He went to her near mindlessly, the time allotted more than enough to pull his head loose from what had transpired. He gathered himself well enough, coolly finding her through the spring growth and in the company of Jarilo.

That was telling enough—he could not hide his interest, let alone faint amusement that accompanied what he presumed was a passed exchange. He regarded his brother-in-law with a faint smile and wave of his tail. Though he couldn't quite recall the last time he had truly spent time in Jarilo's company, his was a welcome sight among the many other faces she could have been with.

"I suppose a congratulations is in order," he offered, unaware that Hydra had not quite approached the topic she had wanted discuss.

anddd i missed this tag too because i have 9000 of them

As she often did, he made him think, and Jarilo was humbled by the note of his likeliness to their mother that might have spared him from Wraen's schemes, unlike his brothers. He had not exactly seen it in that light before.. but, it was everything he had wanted to be as a cub vying for her attentions once, to be as strong and intelligent as her, because she always had some kind of answer, or quip, or at least the adaptability to rise when all else around her failed. Of course, the young Jarilo had idolized their father in many of the same ways, but Vela had captured his attention better and absolutely after Galaxy had gone from them.. so, he had simply worked with what he could and maybe that had impacted him more monumentally than he had seen. Maybe it was.. for the best..

But, though he had not come into this needing to hear it, Hydra's affirmations against Revui's barbed words soothed him into an agreeing rumble--it all taken to heart, and kept there. He believed Kukutux did realize. She could have easily left with his brother then to be spirited away, he knew, a paranoia he had not known to need then.. but she hadn't through no choice but her own. She returned to the mountain, her home here.. with him and the family that stayed, lasted, not Revui's promises of, what, exactly? Nothing? So that was a peace he was going to protect for her.. and the pups to come of it, for just as Hydra said, they were who they fought for.

From there on, his nod to her thanks deepened and in the instant after, she was inviting Dirge to the scene with a look that raised his suspicions. A bead of confusion then, one bigger when the agouti alpha came, prompting Jarilo into a low tail wag that stilled--congratulations? For..? he asked, shooting Hydra the glance after, quick to realize that they knew something he didn't--though none of it was too far off from where he had pondered at length prior to coming here in his efforts to pick up what his brothers failed to carry. Thanks to where his thoughts had been just mere moments ago, he mistakenly thought to Kukutux, though he could barely take all the credit there.. and that didn't seem quite right, either.

As Dirge emerge and spoke, Hydra hummed, you thought I would ask him without you? with a little grin. Hydra turned to look to Jarilo then, who seemed to understand something was up. We wanted to ask you to be our second. I know children are on the way for you, too, and so if this is too much right now... but, you have made yourself clear in your desire to stay here. Hydra had been considering asking him even before Arcturus had left, given that; she wanted permanence, here, not wolves who came and went. Hydra knew now what Jarilo wanted for himself, too, and it was not elsewhere. 

So she would give him that and more, for all he had done for her. For all he had done for Moonspear. Dirge thought much the same as she in regards to him, and it was an easy decision to make. Easier now, too, and some more light for all the other things they had endured as of late.

Had he thought she would ask without him—the roll of his shoulders in a loose shrug seemed to imply so. It wouldn’t have surprised him any, given the urge she had to fill the void left by Arcturus. Though Dirge still held onto the hope that perhaps he would come back, he too felt the necessity she had to fill that void, and who better than Jarilo to serve that role.

Moonspear had long been led by a trio, after all.

So as she extended her offering to Jarilo, his attention honed in on him with curiosity.

Hydra soon connected the dots for him, spelling it out that it did indeed concern him greatly--and not so unlike a notion he wanted to feel out with her considering the absence that Arcturus left both in their ranks and family. They certainly did not seem against the idea any, so he would roll with that good grace, tail swaying softly. Ah, yeah, I do think that I could, he nodded, the belief growing behind the words now that he understood they had discussed this subject independent of him needing to bring it to them, too. There was some satisfaction to be found there, and less worry for him--they probably believed in him more than he did himself anyway. I think it would be an almost natural.. sort of thing right now, and not too unlike what I'd do anyway, all things considered lately, he said, glancing from alpha to alpha with a small grin, because he trusted they would right him if he was veering too far off course with this but that was how he felt.

He couldn't foresee entirely what sort of duty the upcoming pups were going to need from him exactly, and though he had taken his time to get there, he had probably already grown into a role about adjacent to what they needed from a second by being around, willing, and long-lasting, anyway. Jarilo liked confiding in Hydra about things as he just had, and time spent with Dirge never left him ailing so certainly, he had no qualms. Both of his younger brothers had managed to uphold the role anyway, so perhaps it was high time for his turn which hopefully wouldn't need to crash and burn at the end of his tenure too. I want to be something steadfast for this mountain, and for you both.. especially now, he added, strife and new lives to consider, some of which were very much his to be responsible for--and some satisfaction in this could be that it secured them and Kukutux further, not that there was any doubt in him, but from beyond as well.

Though her heart had been aching, it felt lighter now for her brothers answer. 

Life would go on. Just as her brothers would. But she, at least, was surrounded by family that loved her; those that would turn their back upon her had all gone, and Hydra knew she should feel some peace with that. It was bothersome still though, for now. More irksome than an errant flea in that the thought never seemed to leave entirely.

I thought the same, she answered, tail swaying behind her. Hydra was pleased to hear it; as for his final few words, Hydra licked her chops. You are, and always have been, she answered. It was something she had always realized, but Arcturus and Revui had simply been more vocal about their ambitions. Had Hydra any idea that Jarilo might wish for it himself, he would have been her choice before them both. Older, wiser, and he always had more level of a head than either. She was glad they had discussed things such as leadership finally for her to realize he did wish for his place to be here. With or without Arcturus, Hydra and Dirge had considered this for a long enough while for them to not delay it further. 

Mother and father would be proud of you, she informs levelly, earnestly, confident in that much and moving to nose him. Most importantly, though, in that she lived and breathed and could tell it true and without any shadow or trace of doubt: I am proud of you. The matriarch withdrew then, regarding him with a warm look. 

And then, I suppose we ought to inform the pack, now, of your new station, Hydra grins then, lifting her head to call to the pack so that they could learn of what happened here this hour.

For the moment, he found himself comfortable--happy to receive his sister's pride, and know that the alphas were content to see his agreement come to be. He hoped to have them know they made a good choice with him, though it would take time, he sensed.. because that was how he did his best work. Knowing patience, but with a sharpness honed from the mountainside and its wolves of his blood.. he did like to think he took well from the teachings of all of those above him, and around, nature and beast alike.

And, perhaps Hydra was right in that their parents would be proud. He was loathe to think of them in too great of detail even still, moons after their leave, let alone imagine them here and now to see the wolf he had become now afterward--the ache too real, too never-ending. But, he had no reason to doubt his sister, or them. They would have liked to see him succeed, he knew. They had wanted great things of him, and all of their blood... so all he could do was agree with a slow nod, and matching sway to his tail. Yeah, he thought. They would be proud.

Then, she moved matters along and raised her voice. His skin prickled with a strange sensation, excitement-like, in its unfamiliar way. When the alphas let their voices take lead, letting the mountainside know of what they had discussed, he tipped back his own voice eventually after them just to say his little piece--and to officially complete the trio of Moonspear's helm once more.

<3 a wrap!