Ankyra Sound and the cries of your writhings shall rise

tagging @Nieve @Clementine @Marisol @Scarab @Rosalyn @Reyes & @Caiaphas for visibility/invitation to join if you would like! <3

so he had gone.
according to caiaphas, he had fled the den the day of their children's birth and not been seen again. erzulie would have liked to find understanding within herself, would have liked to forgive the man what seemed a sudden decision made solely in fear. but the fact of the matter was that she had trusted him, at least to some degree, and he had abandoned the five pups created of his issue.
while she had not entertained any hopes that she, firefly, and rosalyn would be true sort of family, having their father about might have made life easier for the little ones. as it were, that would not come to pass, and her heart was hardened against him for it.
the rain pattering upon the roof of the den dripped in rivulets down to the earth; it was through these that the harlot gazed at the distant grey swell of the sea. if he returned, the man would not find himself welcome, and would find himself childless. he had made that choice for them upon abandonment, and erzulie would not see their lives ruined by his sudden reappearance. it was doubtful that rosalyn would have a differing opinion, the woman felt; in this would they be united.
all the same, her heart was heavy, and she was silent.

<3 if anyone else wants to join you are def still welcome ofc!

Though she knew to be sensitive about it, Rosalyn felt a good deal of relief over Firefly's departure from the pack. She'd counted him a tentative friend, but she'd made it fairly obvious that his ties to their children made her nervous, and his forsaking that seemed like her first turn of good luck in a long while.

She was walking the woods, stretching her legs, when the rain began.  She only remained out a bit longer before she began to head back, and she shook off as best she could before entering.

I didn't think I was the one who needed a bath, she said as she came, keeping her voice soft so that she wouldn't wake any sleeping.  She was in obviously high spirits, however... she'd always enjoyed the rain.

The little sprite, had she been aware, would have been pleased to be surrounded by water. Not the calm darkness of the world beneath the waves, no—rather, a gentle patter of rain, a cold and quiet misting. The waves nearby lended extra support to the sounds around her but. . . Nieve was still deaf and blind, lost in her own universe.

The only things she knew were warmth and hunger. Having recently sated the latter, she curled up against her mother's belly, her mouth opening in a giant yawp! before she fell still once more.

Erzulie's breathing was like waves, too. Up. . .down. . .up. . .down. She drifted away on the tide, enjoying the vibrations of speech she picked up faintly from the floor of the den. A simple life, surrounded by water—even if she didn't know it quite yet.

feel free to skip; just a cameo <3

the reappearance of her freshly soaked mate brought a smile to erzulie's somber features, and she immediately reached out to begin grooming water-droplets from the scarlet fur. "if you shake here, you will bathe us all," she warned in an amused semi-whisper, glancing over her shoulder at the heap of slumbering puppies, tucking little nieve closer.
it was surreal that they were here, surreal to be a mother. she had not settled into the reality of it yet. and, if the harlot intended to be honest with herself, her body was still racked with exhaustion from their birth.
yet none of that mattered now. in time, erzulie left off her preening and simply lay her head upon rosalyn's shoulder, finding peace in the stillness of their den while rain swept the shoreline.

Say the word, she responded, though she made no move to do so.  Instead she allowed Erzulie to clean some and did some herself, staying back from the children until she would dry.

Nieve caught her eye as Erzulie tucked her in, small and golden against her mate's tawny fur.  It's funny... that he named her that, Rosalyn said with a wry smile.  She had been too detached when the names were chosen, and after the birth too tired, but now she had space to have a small laugh over it.  That was the Redhawk's name.  She looked sideways at her wife.  I suppose there are worse namesakes to claim?

erzulie a week ago might have stiffened in indignation to know that the father of their children had dropped the name of an enemy upon her pretty nieve, but now she merely snorted in mild amusement. "let him. dis one will be bettah den a redhawk could evah hope to be, non?" a smirk crossed her lips. "little scarab an' little reyes. two sons for us. somehow i t'ought we would only have daughters between you an' i."

She couldn't agree more.  And for all her faults, Niamh had fire to her - enough that Rosalyn didn't relish crossing her path again.  She nodded, and looked at their sons affectionately.  I thought so too.  But they will do well, I think... better than most.  With she and Erzulie to guide them, they could be no less.  They would not grow to be men like their father.  If her children ran, it would be with reason.

I thought perhaps the regret would last, she said, gazing at Reyes in particular.  The boy had her color, and she wondered briefly what he would grow to become.  It was impossible to even fathom yet.  But it didn't.  Caiaphas had been right.  She did not intend to repeat the process - she felt perhaps her body could not handle it, regardless.  But it had been worth it in the end, even for one.

after a hard birth, erzulie too wavered on the subject of more children in the future. so many between them; they would be beautifully busied for the year to come, perhaps two. little nieve seemed already to need more care, but erzulie had faith she would gain a place equal to that of her siblings.
"de only t'ing i regret is firefly," she admitted. "but he gave us dese blessings, so perhaps for dat i can forgive him." she knew she did not need to speak of what would happen if he returned; they had no father, so far as erzulie was concerned.

Firefly.  She nodded, but some concern entered her expression.  These past months had shown there was much she took for granted in erzulie, and one of these was how strong she was in the face of hardship.  Rosalyn wore her heart on her sleeve in most things, but her wife she knew now was made of firmer stuff than she.

I'm sorry, I know that you wanted him here.  Are you alright?  If she wanted to talk about the disappointment, she would listen.  She had never really found out the bond the two of them shared, but she knew it was stronger than the tie of tentative friendship she'd held with him.

erzulie did not immediately answer, focusing instead upon the slow drip of rain outside.
”i had nevah envisioned that we would all be one large an’ happy family,” the harlot murmured after a time. ”but his abandonment is disappointing, an’ perhaps i am also disappointed in myself for choosing him.”
she should have waited, allowed the season to dictate for her the best male, searched outside rusalka.

Rosalyn did not see herself as to blame in this, so all of her anger was directed at Firefly for Erzulie's sake.  It didn't matter that she hadn't wanted him around; it only mattered that her wife had, and yet he still chose to abandon them.

There were not many options to choose from, and you chose one you trusted. She replied, glancing down at the little ones that surrounded them.  For once, I have no regrets.  She smiled and touched her wife's cheek.  Another wolf might have tried to take them with him.  At least he acknowledges that.  It wasn't exactly the most comforting of notions but when she imagined the father storming Rusalka, attempting to steal them, she could be almost grateful for him.  Cowards at least tended to make things easier for the rest of them.

rosalyn ahd a way of reframing things that brought the world full circle. at the concept that firefly might have taken their children, erzulie tensed, casting a glance over the tiny sleeping bodies as if to assure herself that they still existed. he would have killed them, she decided, not out of spite but out of ineptitude.
"den i hope he nevah returns," the harlot declared in a harsh whisper, turning her gaze back to the rainwater outside. however, her body had loosened, and presently she smiled sideways at her wife, a silent expression of the adoration she felt for the other woman.

She agreed, and she glanced back in silent, loving conveyence of that.  Some may disagree, but it was her opinion that one needed no father.  She'd had none, but that wasn't what had brought her hardships.  She'd learned (partially from motherhood herself) where the real blame lay.

My father was gone before I knew him also.  I'll fight for them, the way my mother didn't.  They will not even realize they are missing one.  If they had no reason to blame him for leaving them then they would not have the same bitterness she had held for a good many years.  

She's not asked Erzulie much about her past, but now in the quiet rain she was curious.  Did you know yours?  If a father was truly a man you could trust without compromise, then that must have been something to experience.  Those did not come often.

i SUCK

oh, but she did, she did. erzulie had not expected the question; her jaw tightened, gaze dipping toward the wet earth at the threshold of the den. "his name was octave. he was a wolf, an' my mot'er, roux, was a hybrid of sorts. dog and wolf." the pain of the telling threatened to suck erzulie into the morass of her own emotions, but she refused to break. "my mot'er took me into de bayou forest, an' there i met my fat'er for de first time. he was so kind," the harlot whispered, voice breaking as she paused to swallow the tears that had swam into her voice, into her eyes. "he took us to live wid his pack. but what use do pure wolves have for a half-dog baby?"
a bitterness coated her tongue. "dey ... did not like dat i or my mo'ter were dere. so my fat'er left de pack an' took us wid him. we lived for a short time by ourselves. a good time." a shuddering breath, another lapse into silence. "eventually de humans who had owned my mot'er came to hunt de wolves. de killed her an' my fat'er. i escaped."
unable to go on, erzulie fell to controlling the cries rising in her throat, quiet save for a strangled breath or two.

um neverrrrr

She could tell the story brought pain being told, but she told it, and Rosalyn was glad.  She moved over next to Erzulie and pressed close, but was silent as she took it in.

There was a lot to be felt with that, and the first she felt awful for.  Jealousy.  Imagine, being so loved that a wolf would throw away their entire life for the chance to be with you.  It was the very thing both of her parents had failed to do, and hearing Erzulie speak of it with such love and loss in her voice made Rosalyn ache for it.  She had no idea if either of her parents were dead; she assumed so.  But the difference was she had no reason to care.

He sounds like a wolf worth knowing. And remembering, she thought, considering hers and Caiaphas' conversation on names.  It was too late now, and she wondered if perhaps her wife's family did not do such things.  Such reminders could be painful too.

She fell quiet after that, letting the bitterness over her own resurface and then fall away wordlessly.  She was grateful Erzulie had shared it regardless.

slapping a fade on this so we can have a new one

"he was," erzulie answered quietly, resting her muzzle upon rosalyn's shoulder once more. would he be proud of her, she wondered in silence. would he appreciate the desperation that had driven her to marie's shadow, then the pride that kept her there? and now, her wife, her children? could he find it in him to love a child so untraditional by nature?
a sigh feathered from her throat. it did not truly matter; she was loved, and in turn she loved. the little den was proof of that, and erzulie smiled gently against rosalyn's pelt with a deep contentment.