Arrow Lake Into nothing at all

all welcome but perhaps a @Germanicus i promise Reyson will play fair.

Limbs of granite and ice moved through and then away from the pack lands. His aim was to catch some of the larger fish in the lake maybe or a small deer for Meadow to eat. Her stomach so often filled with pains lately he only sought to fix it.

There was a quiet watchfulness to the veteran as there always was. And his mind on far reaching things. He had quieted most of his nightmares, but they still reared their ugly heads on occasion, causing him pain amd sadness.

He stopped to scent a trail.

<3

too familiar, the lake.

too familiar, the man who showed his scarred frame against the backdrop of glistening rock.

germanicus tossed down his pheasant and cleared his throat. his approach was wary, but his intention for peace was clear.

"hello, reyson."

Scarred and tattered ears, shot to top of head and body honed for years of battle, hardened and beaten tightened at the sound of an approach of another.

Large scarred face swung towards the sound and the sight that met him, was enough to freeze his marrow and ignite his blood. And yet there was a quietness to the man now. Burdens that perhaps as a man who knew them well could see. He had not the heart to berate, though the ire was high as he remembered a betrayal of a harsh kind. Lies. Cheating. Behind his back.

Reyson took a deep breath as he thought of Meadow back at home. Promising that nothing more had happened and it wouldn't happen now.

Ice blue eyes traced over the familiar face, that he had respected so deeply. And that had been the sharpest pain when he had realized that the man didn't respect him in the least. But he shifted and spoke.

Hello Imperator. I didn't know you were still in the area. I hope you fare well?

in the manner of good soldiers, neither spoke of the battle that had been fought between them, one of anger, one of strife: a sundering of what had been.

"i am only leading allies to akashingo." 

that word.

that name.

germanicus felt he might see that remembered rage in reyson's eyes now. "and how do you fare? and epoch?"

and meadow.

Reyson didn't know if he was anymore a soldier and certainly not a good one. He had been damaged beyond repair and the sundering, the blatant anger there had for a brief time rendered him useless.

Akashingo The start to all his problems or perhaps it had always been the minute he stepped into Mereo and trusted the wrong wolf with his own personal things and his woman. Or perhaps it had merely been him all along. Perhaps he hadn't and still didn't deserve the pretty healer that kept him happy. Perhaps his sins and his life had been too much and his was very much a reaping of what he sowed.

Rage lit up those blue eyes and then a deep dark sadness for what could have been, what was, what was now. So many broken fragile things.

I have moved to leadership beneath Arsenio and Tamar with Meadow. She's fine.

he took a deep breath. healed well from the cat. There was a little turmoil there for a time. The youth of Arsenio their son, Antigone. Had no fondness for me and when his father refused to oust me he attacked him and then ran. Tamar watches for his return. Arsenio stepped down for a time to care for the littlest babies, but he has returned to his place now. And Meadow is currently resting, our children are causing her to have sickness. That is why i'm out to find her softer meat or fish.

Reyson lifted his head. I wish you had told me you harbored feelings and I wish she had told me the same, but I want you to know that I forgive you.

leadership suited reyson. it was why germanicus had wished this for him in mereo, why the ambition to have so skilled a soldier at his side at last blinded him to his own selfishness as imperator.

and he was that no longer.

a lost boy. arsenio must feel pain, the eagle mused, and found he found no pleasure in it now that they had both experienced the avoidance of half-grown sons.

meadow, growing with new life. a spearpoint through his heart now to think he done such wrong he might have jeopardized so rightful a future for meadow.

a laceration, bleeding the truth that he could never in a millennium been attentive to the gentle woman in the wat she had deserved.

"there was a connection," the eagle said at last in hoarsened voice, "but all what followed was due to my own arrogance, reyson. i do not deserve your forgiveness."

Reyson was only what he had been made, and were leadership to suit him. It was nothing more than because he had been groomed that way. They had instilled it in him with beatings and punishments and rewards and he had learned quickly how to rise without causing unrest. But it had never fit him, he always felt as if he were wearing an ill fitting glove or jacket. But he had continued on, because it seemed other's liked him in positions of power. Other's gained confidence from his positions.

Reyson felt bad for Arsenio, but Antigone. Well he was not a normal boy. Whether he was cruel or just didn't know how to handle things he couldn't say.

Reyson raised a wolfish brow. That is your arrogance again, Germanicus. Who are you to tell me what I can freely give? Hmm. Forgiveness is more for the wolf doing the forgiving, a small lesson if you will. Perhaps you should try and forgive yourself. You hide behind your lines drawn in the sand. Refusing to allow yourself a semblance of chaos. Always controlled and always trying to control and look at what it has cost you my friend. You need to forgive yourself. Did you make bad choices and hurt others' Gods yes. However, will you do it again? Did you learn from it? Then move on and forgive yourself. Everyone else has forgiven you, so you need to do so too or you will forever feel the cuts of a thousand claws. and that is no way to live. Take it from a man who was almost lost to the claws.

reyson was impassioned, ardent, and his voice was that of a man who had seen many things.

perhaps too many.

arrogance, yes. the poorest choice in any situation, yes. 

forgiveness, no, for what germanicus held was the truth of what he had only recently done.

reyson, he felt, meant to forgive him for what had been.

but there was no redemption if a man continued his sin.

germanicus did not wish to argue; he dipped his head, nodding in a gratitude he felt even if he also believed he had no right to feel this way. 

"then i will only thank you."

Reyson had indeed seen too many things. Perhaps that was why he was so quick to give out forgiveness. He had committed many sins, and his soul was black with death and darkness. But if he could help ease the burdens of others. If he could forgive, perhaps in some strange way it may cleanse his own soul. He doubted it, because that baby was obsidian at this point and sharp. If he even still had it. There was a great chance the devil had taken his due.

Reyson nodded and eyed the man. Germanicus. Not everyone is going to forgive you, but it really is important you forgive yourself or you will destroy the very essence of you. And that would be a shame and that means all your enemies have won.

He didn't know if the former Imperator would understand what he was trying to say. If he couldn't forgive himself for himself. Then forgive him for all the bastards that tried to kill him. Live well and live hard. Because all of them had wanted him dead.

"i will try, reyson."

his voice had gathered some little of its strength, and while would not lie and say it was pleasure he felt, it had been of a special emotion that this meeting was borne.

how fitting the retired soldier's life now was! a great love by his side, children to come.

"i am happy for you."

and every word, meant.

That was something at least. Reyson was not expecting miracles at first and he had been coming around to this way of thinking long before he had came to the teekon wilds. So he knew it would take some time.

Reyson's eyes softened a touch and he dipped his head. Thank you. I hope you find what you are looking for Germanicus and you can calm the fire that burns and settle.

a wise man, wiser than his imperator had been.

perhaps if mereo had belonged to reyson, it might not have fallen.

the epoch man wished him well. germanicus looked at him a moment longer, then dipped his head in respect.

he would turn away then and return to the swiftcurrent wolves, where at least he could stand before them in cold truth.

but against his heart he would keep reyson's words, reflecting on them as the hours wore on.