Dragoncrest Cliffs Wish I May, Wish I Might

The Spring air was warm today as clouds smattered a bluebird sky this afternoon. Dragoncrest  turning green and lush – filled with the songs of calling birds and promise of a prosperous summer. Their land was full of life… in more ways than one. Njord had caught sight of the gentle curve of Erzulie’s waist, the softening of her body. It almost took his breath away every time his eyes laid upon her… was he to be… a father?

Njord’s heart was a tangle of conflict. Never before had he been so full of love, but every day he felt more distant. For he might of been Erzulie’s paramour… but he was not her mate. Not her beloved. This pained him. What was he to her? To Rosalyn? What would he become?

With these thoughts on his mind, Njord dutifully patrolled the borders nearest the Tangle... a small herd of deer in the distance.  The Broken Antler Herd. He missed Haunt’s presence, he thought to himself. She would have been someone he could confide in.

Her wife glowed with new life and Rosalyn had grown past her initial melancholy into content expectation. It was a blessing that one of them could still bring forth new life. She hadn't counted on it this year, but she found herself grateful that Erzulie had chosen to go forward with it. It wasn't an expectation she'd ever lay on her wife but it was a gift to her all the same. She always seemed to teeter on the thought of more children, each year, but with every year the burden also became easier.

Rosalyn had been meaning to seek out Njord, and when she crossed his scent and remembered, her thoughts followed a surprisingly similar line to his own. There was something she wished to speak to him about. He and Merlin both, but the red-tailed man moreso, because for some reason Merlin felt so much more a boy. Just as Aningan had seemed to her.

On many things, she and her wife were likeminded; their views of men were not always aligned.

Njord, she greeted him quietly, then glanced over and saw the herd in the distance. It was the same one Haunt had been fond of observing, she recalled, though even as she remembered, a lot of the advice the girl had given her around tracking could not be found. No newfound tricks for her.

She gave him a silent, questioning look. If he was looking to hunt or seeking to escape their notice, she could speak with him another time.

The pirate’s silent watch was broken by a small rustle of foliage. The mahogany sea-queen emerged, regal as ever, but noticeably lean, unlike her wife. She greeted her Ruby quietly, the herd undisturbed by the pair’s distant whisperings.

“Bonnie day, innit’ captn’?” he replied warmly, masking his dour animus. “Been watchin’ tha ‘erd this mornin’. Four new bairns among ‘em.” The mother deer picked at the new spring shoots as they grazed peacefully in an open glen, bamboo-legged, be-speckled fawns nursing at their sides. “Spring is… a magical time,” he added with an astute nod, blue gaze turning towards the captain. The seafarer was always game for conversation, and wondered if she picked up on his topic of choice.

Aye, it is, she agreed, looking at the herd as well. It seemed there was a healthy influx of calves, which boded well for the future hunting of the pack. Life flourishing had a number of benefits.

She could have continued to converse idly on the nature of the season, but chose to follow the lead into the more direct topic she wished to discuss. Rosalyn was never one to beat around the bush.

I know that Erzulie chose you this spring, Rosalyn began, her lips curling up into a smile as she looked sideways at him, single eye glimmering with amusement. I wanted to know your intentions. Do you plan to stay? There was a reason behind her asking this, one she'd likely explain after she heard his answer.

Rosalyn was known for never mincing words… and today she did not disappoint. She swiftly picked up on her subordinate’s train of thought and quickly ushered a discussion.

I know that Erzulie chose you this spring. I wanted to know your intentions. Do you plan to stay? she asked. Njord spied the impish look on her face, but he couldn’t help be taken aback by the objective way she began the conversation. She thought he'd abandon them? Had he not been loyal to the wives all these months? Njord had known this situation was sticky… being a sire and not an honest father or husband… but it felt like, in this moment, his reason to worry was validated. He was 'chosen' as breeding stock… but not truly loved or desired like he wished to be.

Njord, affronted, steeled himself and bottled these deep feelings, though his voice dropped to convey the serious meaning of his words. “Capt’n… I’d nev’r dream of leavin',” he said earnestly as his blue eyes evaluated Rosalyn. Suddenly Njord felt very vulnerable. "Wha kinna man would I be... leavin' his children... leavin' you 'an his pack? His family?"

He looked insulted, but Rosalyn didn't waver in her cool appraisal of him, and the slight amusement remained. She didn't care much for his ego or if she bothered him by asking. She only cared about the answer and whether she believed him to be honest about it.

She did. He was too earnest for her not to, and too young for her to think he was willfully lying. Whether his attention span was enough... that, only time would tell. But she relaxed, allowing her smile to grow, albeit a bit tightly.

You'd be surprised. She answered drolly. Erzulie and I have chosen a few men these past few years. All have expressed interest in being a father. Not a single one has remained to know their children. There was a harsh glint when she thought of it. She'd forgiven Rosencrantz, in a way where it still hurt to think of it, but that didn't mean she thought well of the actions he'd taken at the time.

If you did not intend to remain, I'd prefer to know it now. Before they begin to know you. It was easier for them, she felt, to never know a father if such a figure wished to be absent. She wouldn't judge him if he was honest with her now, but if he reneged later, well... that would be a different story.

As Rosalyn extrapolated on the history of men in their lives, Njord could feel his furrowed brows smooth. It made sense why the captain was cool and objective… so many fathers had broken their trust. Abandoned their posts, duty, and promises. Njord could feel himself almost sick at the thought of doing wrong by Erzulie, Rosalyn, and their children. He suddenly wondered of Chacal’s absent father – something he had never thought to question before.

Quiet washed over Njord as his glassy sea-colored gaze dropped pensively. In the islander’s mind, leaving was never a question. Staying was an absolute. He checked himself – was this what he truly wanted?

A sigh whistled out his nose as he regarded the captain once again, her wiry smile still present. “My heart ‘as never been so full…” his voice trailed, a little whimsical. Then, he locked eyes with his superior, as if to show his honest soul. “Ros, you an’ Erzulie ‘ave me fer life if you'll keep me. I want… need ta stay. To know them. To be with you all, my crew. I swear on my life.”

She was glad to see he paused, as she saw the answer that was ready immediately and then withheld. It was the consideration that she was looking for. Promises were easy; easily made, easily broken.

A life is a long time, she replied, but her expression warmed up a bit despite herself. He reminded her so much of... others. Yet not entirely, for there was an openness he carried that others had withheld.

We'll be happy with their start. It would be nice to see what it's like, for them to know their father. The rest can follow as it will. She grew quieter as she said this. It wasn't an easy admission; she'd always been firm in the truth that she and Erzulie needed no one else. Still; she couldn't shake the bittersweet image of Rosencrantz and Chacal, a single moment frozen.

Their children deserved the world. Things tend to change on us, but I'd be honored if a lifetime is what we get. Then a glint of humor entered her gaze, though the accompanying thought was a tad dark. If it is my lifetime, perhaps not so unreachable a pledge.

Njord waited with baited breath for Rosalyn’s judgment, measuring the queen’s mood. He could see her expression soften, single eye imaginative as she mulled over the vision of her children having a father figure in their lives. The red-tail nodded in agreement. “Aye, tis a lifetime you’ll ‘av,” he assured her with an honest smile.

“Any advice, for a soon-ta-be Da?” he asked Rosalyn. Njord’s memory swam with images of his own gentle and quiet father.

She didn't really, though thinking on it, she supposed the advice for mothers could carry over. She'd never seen much of either in action, though her experience with fathers was nonexistent. She'd never known a single one who remained to be in their children's lives, least of all her own.

Try your best, and when they argue, understand that anything you say will be ignored. She said with a small laugh behind the words. At least for the first day or two. Children were difficult, especially at the age that Chacal and Val were just beginning to leave behind. She hoped that he was doing well for himself; as for her daughter, it had been too long since they'd caught up.

I don't have much, honestly. You'll learn from mistakes with the rest of us. Her tail swished thoughtfully and she glanced behind. Speaking of; what say we take a side trip and hunt down some fish in the shallows for Erzulie? They couldn't not risk bringing down a deer just the two of them, perhaps, but they could still manage lunch.

Njord forced himself to hold back a laugh when Rosalyn said 'when they argue, understand that anything you say will be ignored.' For a second, Njord had a moment of derealization. It was as if he was transported back in time to his own adolescence. Ahhh… the good ol’ days of getting into yelling arguments with Grandfather. Disagreeing with Mom and Dad. Storming off to the rocky seaside to mope and wonder why the whole world was against him.

Rosalyn followed up with some encouragement. Mistakes would inevitably happen – and that was OK. Then, the offer of fishing for their Madonna. “I’d like that, capt’n,” he said with a grin, and followed his leader from the Tangle to the water.