Hushed Willows Heartbreak City, party of two

@Reverie

Reina’s thoughts were a tumble of what-ifs, doubts, and straight confusion. Tuft, the male she had only just met, yet somehow a kindred spirit who tugged on what was left of her heart strings, was the reason for her troubled mind. And it terrified the fiery female…yet, excited her. Convinced that she had nothing other than her body to give, he came in and showed her a kindness that only males she had ever encountered in her short life would feign until they got what they wanted. But not him, not Tuft.

There was always a slyness to the upturned grin of the males who had taken advantage of her, but Tuft’s had remained genuine, warm. It was her favorite thing about him, as superficial as that may be. She didn’t know him, not really, and she wanted to—oh, did she ever. But the timing was poor, and she saw how he had shut down when she revealed her plan to leave with them.

Then, there was Everett, the new member of Hearthwood. He was soft, polite, magnetic in the same way as the waters that ebb and flow with the moon. She felt that push and pull, and it confused her. She was most nervous of this turn of events for it was the blood-relative of her Coach, and she wasn’t quite sure how the hormonal female would take to her having interest in her kin.

But, if anyone could understand, or at least help her make sense of everything, it would still be Reverie. Her guardian angel of a friend always seemed to ease her in ways she may never realize. So, with heartache and confusion in tow, she set off to find her golden light.

As her pregnancy progressed, Reverie was overcome with her own excitement; anticipation for the new journey ahead of her. Parenthood by choice. Her love for Blossom had never lessened and never would, but it was undeniably different this time. Sickness had settled into something softer, something like — a glow. It all felt so typical. A typical life; wasn't that what she'd always fought against? Wasn't that what she'd always wanted?

She was settled just outside of her den when Reina found her, dutifully plucking the fur from her belly. It wasn't the most glamorous task, but someone had to do it. Reverie glanced up with a mouthful of fur as Reina approached. Oh, hi! The words were slightly muffled, and she immediately launched into a coughing fit. It took a few moments of coughing and pawing at her muzzle to rid herself of the fur, but her tail was beating steadily against the ground through it all.

Sorry, She mumbled, still wiping at her mouth. Pregnancy's gross. But, um, how are you? Her eyes lit up with her last words, ever curious about her friend's life.

I did forward date the thread and also added in a bit more info in the original post to make more sense! Let me know if anything should be changed!

She watched her friend prep her body for what was to come, a smile adorning her face. Reina’s eye’s were alit with excitement and warmth; Reverie was going to have her first litter with Boone soon! It was evident at the roundness of her belly and the glow that had finally settled, despite the rough beginning. A giggle escaped as she watched the fur fly as the golden wolf acknowledged her.

“Hi, yourself. Don’t worry, nothing could make you look gross. I think motherhood suits you, even though it has been rough on you.” The red woman came closer and gave a gentle lick on top of her head in greeting. She laid down, careful not to disturb Reverie, for she knew it can take quite a while for one who is pregnant to have any sort of comfort. Settling with a heavy sigh, she spoke again. “I need…guidance. Girl talk, if you will. After everything that’s happened, I just feel so confused. It’s about Tuft, and…your brother.” 

And there it was, she said it. A cringe made her wince as she spoke. Reina couldn’t help but look away as if something in the distance caught her attention; she couldn’t look at Reverie, afraid of what she might see on her friend’s face. She was embarrassed to admit that she felt something towards any male, especially not too long after her trauma. Fear of judgement made her feel heavy, so she laid her head on her paws, still not meeting the eyes of her friend.

It was good to see Reina so lively; she'd been forlorn when they'd last spoken, and Reverie had worried that she might remain so for months. But she was healing. That much was evident, particularly as she went on.

Your brother. Reverie stiffened at the words. Her brother. Girl talk... about her brother. Everett? She blinked. She was speaking again before she could stop herself. Reina, I - my brother has... he's been through a lot. I want him to feel safe here. Maybe she wouldn't say it outright, but her expectation was clear as she met Reina's gaze. The Middleman would need to tread carefully where Everett was concerned.

Tell me what's on your mind, Reverie murmured next, turning back to her mission of thinning the fur on her belly. She wouldn't try to control what she couldn't; they were adults, and Everett was free to have a life of his own. But it unsettled her more than she could say. Only a few days in the pack, and already someone had eyes on him. Maybe the world would always search for ways to take him from her.

It was her turn to stiffen. Her head whipped to Reverie, eyes wide, hurt written on her face. “Do you think so little of me that I, of all of us here, would cause him to feel unsafe? Need I remind you that I have also gone through something horrible—actually, scratch that. My whole life has been one horrible experience after another!” Her words were heated, slowly gaining volume.

She stopped herself. This was not how she wanted this conversation to happen, not with Reverie. If Rev was any other wolf, she would have continued, but the golden wolf was Reina’s angel, her guardian, a light in her darkness. This was not any way to speak to her Coach. Her hurt in her friend’s words had not allowed rational thinking, thus missing the actual intention in them. Reverie was being protective of Everett, not hurtful towards Reina.

The red woman stood, creating distance, pacing as she took some breaths. Her head hung low, her eyes to Reverie. “Forgive me, Reverie. I fear the heat is coming, I am like a short fuse. Though I guess you can sympathize regarding hormonal changes.” She stopped her pacing and faced her friend. “I want happiness. I crave a family of my own. I see you,” a nod towards her friend’s belly, “and pray that will be me someday. Plucking the hairs and all the grossness that comes with creating a family. But, I am scared and confused. Men have been nothing but villains in my story. And, then I meet Tuft and Everett. I, just—I don’t know, I just want to feel something else. I don’t want to feel him anymore.“ Tears had fallen, her well spilling over to empty onto the ground below.

Yes, Reverie knew hormones; it was easier these days to stir her typically slow-burning temper. Reina was a dear friend, but even so, her words were not received well. You're not the only one who has been through something traumatic, Her ears were flat against her skull as she looked up. I don't think you want to hurt anyone. But I know better than most how easy it is to accidentally hurt someone else when - when you're hurting.

And my brother isn't here to make you feel something. What happened to you was awful, but Everett can't fix that. He's healing, too, Men never fixed anything anyway, though Reverie would not say that. Men made it worse; men trampled in with their feelings and their wants, with no regard for what had existed before them. Men took until there was nothing left to take, and left you alone to deal with the aftermath. Couldn't her friend see that she was trying to protect them both? Reverie sighed. I just want you to be careful, Reina. Healing takes time. Everett needed time. Not... this.

A step back.

A verbal slap in her face.

Underneath it all, verified by Reverie’s words, there was an undercurrent of experience in the golden wolf’s past. Of being hurt, or hurting someone else. Was that what Everett meant when he spoke of their family, the reason there was a disconnect? She didn’t know and wouldn’t ask her Coach, not right now. 

But, she couldn’t ignore Rev’s words. 

“I came to you, heart in my hands, to not feel like it is wrong to have any desire towards any man after being forced to withstand the desires of a rogue male, yet all I feel now is judgement, vitriol, and an unwillingness to see past your own self. You have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, littles in your belly, a pack of your own making who all adore you. But, you are so stuck in that past of yours despite it all. Your brother, healing or not, is an adult, like you, who can make his own decisions. I never said that there was more to my desires, nothing physical, only a want. You didn’t even ask—forget it…” She sighed, her breath stuttering with sadness.

“Make no mistake, Reverie, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go and it hurts me that it has become so.” She stood tall then, having said her piece, and turned to leave. One ear facing ahead, one ear to her Coach. She would turn around should Reverie call for her, but she would understand if her Coach let her leave.

An unwillingness to see past your own self. Reverie wouldn't deny it; this wasn't the first time she'd been accused of it and surely wouldn't be the last. She'd always been a selfish creature at heart. But there was a deep hypocrisy beneath Reina's words, she felt.

She knew what it was like, to see something so beautiful but so damaged and think only of how you might feel whole again if you could just hold it for a moment. She knew, too, how broken things crumbled when clutched too tightly. It was a lesson that could only be taught by experience. Lestan had taught her that. That, if nothing else.

But Everett would not be the one to teach Reina. Of this Reverie was certain. Even if she had to prevent it herself. She let Reina depart in silence, staring after her for a long while.