Moonspear your love will always be rooted deeper than any grave

birth. come to me, my little moondrops. it got long, sry. also had to repost it because threadlog wonkiness so go me
@Korei Julia @Alya @Hydra @Lyra

Through all the long, muggy hours of the summer's afternoon, restlessness had claimed her with a fury unmatched. Despite her efforts, she couldn't find a way to make herself at all comfortable. Not even in the cool dark of the den, on the soft grasses beyond it, and not beside the creek -- nowhere involving this body, this skin, or any of it in this place. Not for as long as she was still pregnant with these puppies, she feared, and with a complex cascade of hormonal changes, she felt a great many ways. She paced with a lashing tail, sometimes stone-faced, others with a lolling, panting tongue or a vicious grimace as she snapped at the air near her distended flanks in protest. No matter the exact expression, she was miserable and it was clear.

The height of the day rose, and as it fell, humidity climbed up and up still. Clouds were slow to gather afterward and during this, she'd managed to steal some unexpectedly deep sleep until the twisting tightness in her abdomen eventually spurred her up again. As hours spanned on, it deepened, worsened, and gripped her with a far greater strength and now even as she tried to stretch through, it only held fast instead. Worrisome, but surely indicative of something to come. In part, she was eager to get on with it.

By the time the cloud cover let go its light shower, dusk was finally beginning to settle and she was finding her labor progressing more and more. Her contractions came faster, fiercer, and left her shivering in their painful wake. Somewhere between these cycles was where she'd finally warned @Charon out of her sights for good. It was not the first show of her teeth, but perhaps the most earnest yet; he had an unspoken important task, too, for she was entrusting him to protect the peace and quiet of this little swatch of mountainside until she got through this, and for her that meant him not hovering too closely. She had it in her head that she needed it that way, a careful measure of well-guarded yet left alone, or else disturbances were going to be met with hellfire.

Only when she was satisfied by her peace, and pleased that the short rain had already begun to cool the coming night's atmosphere, she finally took her toiling into the security of the den. Once there, it did not take her long to get to what this was all leading up to. Instinct pulled her focus inward in a way viciously unknown, so she listened and pressed onward over the strange new pain, determined to see herself out to the other side.

She was rewarded soon enough -- although nothing seemed to get over with 'soon' about those awful first seconds leading up to the heralding of this small life. But the second they fell behind her, she could forget about that all. Without a sound of her own, she pulled the little weight closer to her belly and cleared away sac and fluids alike. She licked purposefully over its face then back, revealing detail after detail with every swipe of her tongue. As she worked, her nose quivered greedily and careful snips of her teeth freed the little one to this life in full. A daughter, small, pale, yet showing signs of life that came as a great relief. She nosed her purposefully towards a teat so she could feed.

She could feel her muscles still pulling, but not yet nearly at the ferocity that forced her to mind them. It seemed the rest of the litter would grant them a moment's rest, which was good.. because she would need a bit to adjust to this -- this strange, foreign feeling. The dark alpha settled her head down to watch the single pup, feeling curious, wary, and so wholly invested that it hurt her chest to revere this accomplishment as she did. It occurred to her to match a name to her, but her head was so abuzz with a million thoughts and feelings and sensations all at once that nothing resembling any words came above this chaotic zen. So long as she lived, a presence itself was a good place to start and that was all Amekaze needed to be aware of, ailing and hormonal herself. She groomed gently on the girl, as well as herself, and aimed to ease her into a comfortable first rest in the world beyond her womb.

Soon, parturition urged her with more pains and she let them have her. When she reached beneath her tail for the second pup, she prickled uneasily at first sight, even before pulling it away from its confining bubble. It looked perhaps a shade off-color and smelled differently too, but she did what she had done for the first whelp and realized similarities and differences alike that could explain it. Male, larger, similarly colored, however did not seem to react to her ministrations. Limp, aside from a few small twitches, she couldn't seem to coax an earnest breath from this puppy. She licked a little rougher, nudged a bit differently, and when her handling began to border on rough, he gave up a few wet, sputtering coughs. After, she pulled him close to her underside and thought for a beat that he may brighten, but he did not. Blood dribbled from his nostrils now and she was keen to take that as a bad sign. She refused to leave him alongside her daughter, although kept him within reach near her forelegs when the contractions began to creep on her again, and intended to deal with that more later on.

Amekaze now could recognize the cyclical signals nature provided quickly, however this time they seemed to take a little longer and bite a little harder once they got there. She swiftly found herself panting, shivering, and only continuing to escalate by the moment. Eventually it was enough that she had to pull herself away from the first resting puppy and her stilled brother to pace again as labor had her twisting and turning anxiously all around the den; she couldn't seem to stay still through this round and all that went with it. The births that followed did not come so easily as the ones preceding them. She shuddered from the pain, her struggles against them seeming to always fall short, and willed herself forward, step by step into progression. But it was not easy. Nature repeated itself, and she heeded its word.

By later in the evening, she was looming tiredly wild-eyed over three more dark-furred daughters, each hardly distinguishable from the last. She arranged them around the paler female, noticed they were a touch larger, and then settled next to the small row of whelps to groom them and herself when she could, alternating between them each while they could nurse away -- hopefully undisturbed. She too was tempered by what her body could provide her for now, and adrenaline flowed with a quiet rhythm in her ears while in contrast, watching the whelps breath softly worked to soothe her back down from misery's heights. She expected exhaustion to follow on its heels soon, it was practically inevitable, but in due time. Courtesy this, even smelling like blood and knowing that she still failed to coax life into the secondborn, all else besides the pups seemed like a faraway hum.

Satisfaction from the successful achievement of four living pups curled warm in her chest for the moment anyway. She sighed, and selfishly let herself bask in it as she keenly watched them simply exist.

He knew that it was time when he was thrown from the den, so to say, his mate making it clear that he was not supposed to be there during this time. Their communication was, as often, speechless and without any verbal affirmation, but he knew exactly what it was that she desired -- and did not desire -- of him. And so he departed, allowing her to be alone in the den and waiting outside. He could not help but feel worry lurch at his throat, not so much for her health, for he did not consider anything could go wrong, but for the faces of his children. He might not be able to tell now, but some day he would know whether or not they mirrored the face of Lazarus.

For some time he waited outside, keeping guard, standing as a lone sentinel while he kept his eyes outward to make sure that none would interfere. He waited with surprising patience considering his personality, knowing that it would be worth the wait this time.

An ear perked backward when he heard the soft grunting whines from inside of the den. He waited longer, waited until their sounds turned into satisfied suckles, before he turned towards the den and, staying his distance from its mouth, chuffed to announce his presence and wait for confirmation she was in order and some sort of signal that he was or was not allowed to enter the den to see mate and children.

Things had been changing, slowly but surely, for as long as it could remember. It had been changing, knitting itself together away from mortal eyes. It was not alone in this world, of course - four companions kept it company, growing and changing alongside it. Things had always been this way, and the status quo pleased it as much as it could be pleased.

And then things really changed, and it was wretched from its home, wretched away from those beloved companions. All the world became cold and harsh, hard edged and bright spots and something it'd never known before. For the first time, it realized that it was not simply and is, but also and it. It can move and be moved, and occupy a space beside - Ah!

Its companions! At last, reunited! Except, where was the bigger presence? The one who had been tucked so close to it for so many of these long months? It searched, but it could not find, and there seemed to be a gravity pulling it toward the side of a great, warm mountain.

Giving in to the pull, it allowed itself to be placed again by another of its companions - its favorite, the one who had played games of kicking and nudging in the world where they had been made. Perhaps its fourth companion was still near, if this one had found it again. It could only wait, and hope that things would be returned to some sort of equalibrium. For now, it attached itself to a nub hidden in the side of the mountain, where a warm, sweet smell (this, too, was new to it) had been ememnating since the time of its birth.

When warm liquid, like the kind it'd been made it, began to flow forth and into its mouth, it knew that it'd done the right thing.

Refering to Dead Brother and @Hydra, respectively. Slight pre-birth pp, but I can change it.

Things were changing, moving. She couldn't figure out why or how, but she could feel it. Feel. It was a sense that was still fairly new to her, but within the tranquility of her mother's womb, her feelings were very limited. A leg or two would twitch. She'd send a kick or a twist to the others once.

The others. Where were they? Normally, in her little world of darkness, she would be able to sense or feel them near. Now, she felt nothing. She was alone as she kept on moving, moving, moving until cold engulfed her body. She let out a gasp and air was forced into her lungs. 

Something warm was upon her, raking gently along her damp coat. It began to warm her skin, then her insides. Small mewles and yips escaped her maw as she stuggled to understand. Where was she? Was was this? Slowly, her struggling body was moved, and she felt something soft upon her face. It tickled, and she gave another mewl, but something drove her deeper into this softness until she found something. Instincively, she latched her mouth to it, and began to suck. Warm. Warm was all she felt as liquid trickled down her throat, warming up her insides and making her feel comfortable. 

Licks continued to cover her body, but all she could think about was this warmness that she loved. She still didn't know where the others were, or whether she would ever feel them again, but for the time being, she was satisfied with this warm.

The monster had been rallying with her favored surrounded ones in the womb when things changed. She was not sure what this change was, but she met it with all the force she could muster. Bullheaded and fierce, Hydra regretted it the moment she was expelled from the womb.

She knew loneliness--which she despised--and cold. The cold was fine, for a moment, until she decided it was unbearable. It was then she let out a loud wail, but was met swiftly with warmth. Something big and unknown (in this way) silenced her with a tongue-swipe to the face, and Hydra was--at first--displeased by this, wailing again... until she decided that she in fact enjoyed the ministrations very much. On day one, she was swift in exhausting herself. She suckled from her mother complacently, for now.

i'm going to post here and there myself, so there's probably not a need to worry about post order <3

Very much changed, and so suddenly. It took her a span of several breaths, but she eased back into an awareness spanning beyond herself -- and more importantly, the tiny wiggling bodies who were now so foreign to behold as now separate from her. She realized the hour (still night) and how tired she might truly be. Yet as they suckled quietly, seemingly dozing, peace tempered the war-faring ways of time past bit by bit in a way that almost felt right.

Then, his low chuff beyond the threshold made her remember her world faster. Charon. Instinct posed a lifting of her furs, unease rippling through her at the thought of anyone who was not her, and not them. But he stood watch near and had done what she had needed she now knew in hindsight. She steadied a breath, checked herself and the whelps, and decided he may see -- although a quick glance over the stilled one made her feel increasingly uncomfortable, he was bound to be overshadowed by all who did thrive. 

Amekaze delicately moved to untangle herself from the little wolves and felt fatigue burn up through her when she rose. A hushed groan slowed her down, but she crept for the entrance and pressed forward just past the opening to breath deep a (much needed) lungful of the damp, dewy night air. There was no need for her eyes to adjust to the cool moonlight, and she zeroed in on her mate's pale form easily as he loomed near, probably worried, curious, and she hoped without doubt in his heart. 

She fanned her ears, in her typical silence, and gestured. Come see.. Although she felt her wariness towards extending the offer, she wanted him to take them in as well, and there was no telling if she'd be more or less open to the idea later on. 

She turned and ducked back into the den fully, then returned to curl possessively around the pups with a lick for each of them.

It was warm, quiet, dark, as it had always been. The soft, gentle beats of a faraway presence kept her comforted, along with the — though barely registered — existence of her litter-mates, every now and again making themselves known with a slight kick or twitch. The existence was a simple one, though that mattered not to the girl. She was content, and that was all she needed.

So when suddenly all familiarity was ripped away in what seemed like an instant, the newborn cried in protest as hard as her tiny lungs let her. Coldness surrounded her on all sides, even on her insides as she sucked in her first breath. Something enveloped her, something warm and giant and she quietened, but only for a moment.

The triplet hadn't found a teat before their mother shifted, and so she wailed unhappily, wiggling around on the floor of the den while blindly bumping her nose against the soft, foreign bodies of her sisters. The large, warm presence was swift to return, however, and the girl was guided with a soothing lick towards a sweet-smelling food source. She prodded at it gently before latching on, her complaints dulled to soft whimpers as she suckled beside her siblings.

Just when it'd finally contented itself with this new life, the great, fuzzy mountain moved. These were not just the shifts and shudders that her world had oftened been subject to in the time Before, but full movement - the mountain was ripped away, and it reeled along with the rest of its companions.

Somewhere in the mess, its favored companion was lost, and it found itself near nothing at all. It'd spent its life packed in tightly with its companions, and now, there was nothing but empty space.

It hadn't known about empty space, before, and neither had it known about the empty spaces that could exist within its own self. But those spaces it now quickly discovered - lungs, they were called, but it was not to know for some months. No matter what they were called, though, it wastes no time in filling them with air, and with expelling that air with as much force and volume as its tiny self could muster.

It did not stop unitl the great, fuzzy mountain returned, and even then, kept up a series of quiet squawks as it suckled, as it was still unsure where its favored companion had gone.

This new world was a world of moving. Everything moved, including herself. Her lungs inflated and deflated and her legs had to constantly move to keep her spot. She gave muffled squawks and barks as she filled herself with more warm liquid. 

Suddenly, without her bidding, the soft around her moved. It lifted itself up, and the babe could feel the gentle vibrations of the thing moving, although that remained unknown to her. She could feel the others moving around in their own fit of protest, so she decided to join in. Tiny mouth opened to let out wails and chirps to let the soft know that it needed to come back. 

Soon enough, the thing seemed to answer her calls, as it reappeared in front her. Another warm thing made it's presence known upon her back as it warmed her fur, but she didn't mind. Just moments earlier, she was engulfed in warm, now she had cold threatening every side of her. 

Little heart beat fast in her chest as she began to fill herself with more liquid. Suddenly, she began to feel very drowsy. She kept her mouth latched on, and her muffled sounds continued, until slowly but surely, she began to die down, her insistent sucking becoming softer and slower.

Almost simulatenous to Amekaze's appearance and the soft chuff that invited him in, he heard wails starting from the den. There was a look on his face that could only be described as the first moment a father saw its children — happy, elated, like he could cry any moment, like he had just witnessed a miracle as one of the tiny copies of himself and his mate started to make sound. A proof that they were really there.

Without further hesitation he moved down to his stomach and he poked his head into the den after placing a sloppy, rushed lick on the side of Amekaze's snout in silent appreciation of the fact that she was still alive and well and for all the work she had done this evening. Then he turned to look at his children, presumably with Amekaze once more by their side, as they quieted down again with the contentment of their mother nearby.

"They're beautiful," he said, a weird croak in his voice from being silent sentinel for so long, but the words were genuine. He felt a warmth fill his heart at the sight of them, his perfect little angels, and any doubt that he had had — all the doubt that he had had — over the past months simply fell away. All that mattered now was his perfect little family and he did not even remember why he had feared seeing his children for the first time and seeing them grow up, forever harbouring a fear they might not be his. It didn't matter, because they were his in every way from this moment on.

He lingered a while longer, willing to stay here forever, just watching them and just being a part of this perfect little family. But duty beckoned as he said, "I will get some food," and he waited a moment, as though waiting for some sort of permission, before slipping from the den to unearth a nearby cache. He would not stray far, for he was loathe to let Ame and the pups out of his sight, but he would return with some much-deserved food for his mate soon.

As soon as she'd gone away from them, they voiced their issue with this in their tiny new voices and it made her stomach drop hearing it for the first time. Realization had set in swiftly -- even if it had only been mere feet, she'd never been that far from them at all. No wonder they should take offense in this, so she made sure to fix that distance quickly, although her sights remained on Charon as he joined in behind her.

For a few beats, she watched him carefully behold the new little lives for the first time. They squeaked, and shifted among themselves. She still knew so very little about them but so long as they continued to thrive, she knew there would be time to learn.

Her unease eventually smoothed with time as the pups seemed to settle even more, so she took what comfort she could from having that. It was a delicate, strange sort of peacefulness that she touched on.. one that seemed so foreign to her but she still knew how to revere. Charon seemed to feel it too, and she was glad -- and relieved, too. He would be the only one to share a moment like this with her. She soon found herself nodding. "Yeah," she replied, her voice coarse and tired too but full of fondness. Beautiful, yet still only the very beginning.

Ame tucked the pups in close to her before setting her head on the den floor to watch them -- or doze if they kept quiet enough, hopefully. When Charon said he'd get food, she had no objections, so picked up just enough to nod again. She reasoned she could eat but while she waited his eventual return, she focused on resting and processing the entirety of this moment and the four living newborns beside her. Sometime later, she'd decide what to do with the last one that did not survive (perhaps just unable to compete before their birth, or she'd been unable to provide him the resources to survive too), but he was swiftly becoming inconsequential compared to what did matter now.

He returned later with food, making sure Ame was fed while she tended to the pups. It was not much, just something from the cache, but he was eager to return to his role of sentinel to make sure they were safe. After handing her the food he stayed close to the den's mouth, patrolling around it to eventually end up next to it on the ground, laying down and waiting, guarding.