Moonspear girl of the year

attn: @Amekaze @Charon but open!

 

There was a strange itch deep within that Hydra was, by the day, becoming ever more effected by. It had not yet culminated to the point where it would yield anything, but if there was any doubt that it would come for her as it came for all women it would be laid to rest within the next two weeks. Her energy had spiked, and instinct took its hold. Primal roots as old as life itself found their grip on the dark Ostrega, and she did not know enough to feel any uncertainty to what this might come to mean. 

Here and now, nothing. @Dirge would be met with hardly anything but teeth, though he seemed know how to respond well enough to save his face from her unexpected wrath. There were other moments, however, in which she permitted him to flirt with literal disaster where they knew peace. He seemed to keep close, now more than ever. Sometimes she allowed it, other times she chased him away.

The true beginnings of it started only a day ago, but her energy was such that it never seemed to end. She ranged toward the borders, tail aloft and guns proverbially blazing, her proud, long-legged stride carrying her precisely to where she wanted to be. Her mind was muddled, clouded by a frustration she could scarcely understand and could not fight. And so she sought the next best alternative.

Unlike her mate, she didn't overly miss her heat, or apparent interest in whelping this spring. It bothered her most because it bothered him, not because she was feeling harmed by the absence so far--quite the opposite, really, when she accounted for all the reasons that kept her tethered, or denbound entirely to be fodder for growing pups. She was enjoying herself and the freedom's afforded by it all in the spaces between the worries he inspired in her.. even if it might be a shame if that time really did never come to her again, considering her contributions to the gene pool were impressive and grand each in their own right.

But, when she scaled up to the highest heights she could reach and chased prey all afternoon, then rounded her patrols below the slopes content in the springtime, she felt well, and stronger once again--once again making it so apparent to her the subtle, spread toll last year had put on her behind her back. This made it difficult to want to risk that again, even if she.. could, per nature.

Nevertheless, she was thinking about heading up again when her patrol started to find Hydra's, and freshly left too. Since this was a worthwhile endeavor and Lyra likely was not far either knowing the sisters, she ducked low and sped up to reach her in conniving silence, tail arcing and eyes sharp to find her daughter. When she did, she said nothing as shadows parted, but smirked to herself when she realized just a bit better what else may be at play.

There was something in the air in Moonspear. Something that might've overjoyed it had it come from a different source -- a better source -- but now he felt terrified by it. There was a mixed up feeling in his gut as he followed Amekaze, wishing to speak with her in private to remind her of her duties. If nature would not come to them, he would make sure that they would force it to do so. But first he wanted to make sure that there was nothing Ame herself was doing to block it.

But as he happened towards Amekaze, he noticed that Hydra was near too. And that made him realise that she was the source of his recent misery, of the mixed feeling in his gut and his twisted insides. Charon had never been strong to resist the season -- proven twice over by Althaia and Potema -- but to see his own daughter and think of her in such different light, knowing that it would worsen over time, made him resolute that he needed to leave the mountain; or she did. There was no room for both of them here, not during her season.

Upon arrival so nearby he glanced at Amekaze first, wondering if his mate would do what she should do push down her daughter's season. He did not expect any other outcome to this: Amekaze had never allowed any others to breed. Would it be different for their daughter, who had no mate to mention?

Hydra was irate and unreceptive in nearly every sense of the word. She felt the need to harass and accost, and even Lyra kept her distance. There was little she could do to stay her teeth from doing what they would; the consequence was an afterthought, and one she could not fully process. But it was not what it would be–there was some sense still here, for now, though the thread of it was thin and fraying. She heard the approach of another, and where normally she would recognize the sound of their step and know it to be her mother, she whipped around so that her hindquarters were well out of reach and bore her fangs, tail flagged over her spine and ears pressed forward in forewarning. A brief moment passed, and Hydra recognized the face of her mother, and a brief battle seemed to take place within as she searched her mother’s features. Hydra’s tail shifted to half-mast, and her ears flicked with uncertainty as she licked her chops. 

Her gaze did not leave her mother’s features. The battle had not stopped within, but for now she held the reins. Never before had she desired to challenge the woman before, and even still her respect for the woman kept her at bay, but what she fought against had little to do with that and would not stop her from doing all that instinct demanded she must do. 

But her mother seemed to understand some of this. Hydra exhaled slowly in one even breath, and asked: what is this? What was happening to her? Never before had she felt so out of sorts, never before had she willfully bore her fangs with intent of consequence against family–and as she looked to her mother now, she fret over whether or not this would remain so, should her mother seek to dissuade what even she could not win against: her nature.

She answered coolly and her tail stiffened when she saw teeth flash, but it was with a knowing, watchful eye that she stared Hydra back down for those instances, coldly calculating her next move. Focused, she didn't acknowledge Charon right away.. so his presence's implication was a second later to even dawn on her as she watched uncertainty course through her daughter, and the alpha shifted accordingly. Amekaze knew, however, with confidence, but it was early still--and she wasn't going to be mindlessly riled so soon. That didn't stop some innate part of her from not appreciating his company, considering what her nose knew it to do.

Flashing the Ostrega patriarch a dark look, she stood poised closer to Hydra as the breeze shifted. Though she had helped close in, she still wore the start of a ridge of hackles, left to shift in the wind as she breathed deep, and sighed.  Heat, she replied, then back to her. Well, the very earliest part of the season, she detailed. Not fully realized--oh no, it could get much worse and Amekaze's stare relayed her warning to be careful. It has just begun? she asked, just to be sure. For any lesser sorts, this alone could be crime enough for teeth. When she had been bearing litters, she had no need of others born here too, and even all of those others they had taken on as young wolves had inevitably failed here eventually anyway. There had never been a reason for it.

Something in her was beginning to wonder, however. Though she smelled it on her daughter like this, familiar and primal and strange, she didn't feel any of that pull herself despite knowing exactly how it went, and what this caused deep in the recesses of such unknown depths. She had been there, and her first attempt at such was such a distant memory that she had to go looking for it, but it was just after she had left home; maybe, a part of why her mother urged her off in the end--so not to need to deal with it any herself.

There was no joy in being here. In seeing his own daughter, and feeling like he needed to do something, like something was coming, soon. Nature expected things from him he could not give it, he knew he couldn't -- his desire for heirs lay deep, but not that deep -- and he knew that either Amekaze should help Hydra fight this season, or he should make himself scarce for the days to come.

I have to go. I trust you can handle this, Charon said as Ame started her explanations. I will speak to you after. Though perhaps not so much about Hydra's heat, as Ame's lacking one. This could happen only because Amekaze did not seem to desire nature's will any longer -- otherwise surely she would've been the only woman on Moonspear to go into heat.

Or at the very least, the only woman on Moonspear to be tolerated to go into heat.

He slunk off, back where he came from, unwilling to bathe in Hydra's current scent any longer.

Hydra watched her mother, her eyes not moving again toward her father as he quit the scene. Heat, she had said. Hydra knew of what could come from this, but did not seem to fear it. Rather, she considered the idea: children. Who would be worthy of this with her? Dirge, her mind first came to—but she was hesitant even there. Would his eyes be only ever for her? Her eyes fell back to her mother. 

It has, she answered when asked, and she shifted her weight. For now, her desire to fight was outweighed by her confusion. She was inexperienced in this matter, and though she was not frightened of this (as ever, she met such a thing head on) Hydra had questions. Why... now? It did not happen last year, she breathed, left ear twitching at the sound of rubble falling. The wind had caused scree to bounce ever downward, but there were no other wolves in sight (or earshot). And then: How did you know father was the right one, to have your children, to be your mate? Again her mind drifted toward Dirge; her uncertainty lingered, but perhaps her mother could put it to rest. Or perhaps Hydra would need to search on, to find someone who would have eyes for her, and only her. Whether she liked it or not, Alya's words haunted her—now more than ever. Also not one to waste time, Hydra breathed: I would like them, I think. My own. But only with someone who I knew was right for it. 

More children to cultivate into young warriors, she thought eagerly. Revui could help; Arcturus, too. Lyra, naturally, would not leave her side, and she imagined Charon and Amekaze teaching them lessons as they taught her. Hydra had no plans to go anywhere else—but then, she did not know what was to come. Would she be allowed it?

Her mate's departure urged a small, silent nod while she balanced relief that he was going away, with tension for what may follow. Suddenly she now had two very real issues lined up rapidfire, and as she exhaled deeply, Hydra's begged the most attention for the time being. She couldn't find it in her to look forward to what may be next.

There would never be an easy answer as to why, or why not, now or later. Nature deemed it, circumstance was left to it from there. Her, the alpha, not already being pregnant or nursing her own litter probably didn't help this, and maybe it had contributed to why not last year when her brood was needy for resources.  Maybe age, maybe time, maybe the moon even. It can and cannot come for many reasons, she said, and there had to be more than beyond that. It was a feeling, deep down, that he might be worth standing at my side for the times to come, the strongest, through good and bad, and that he might look good there doing it too—if I wanted my offspring to have his qualities, that is. And as she looked Hydra up and down, she could rest easy knowing that her pickiness on that matter had been well reserved. She had chosen well, even if Charon sometimes felt like a pine-needle beneath her nailbed right now.

You will have to know they are right for it, she solidified, agreeing with her daughter. And that you want that. Here, none besides me have been allowed even the opportunity to consider it, she said, with some of the seriousness dripping into her undertones, and Hydra knew why because of their no-nonsense family who prioritized their own above all else. Hydra and Lyra were just the first ones to come old enough to possibly contend in this, although she couldn't speak for the sister yet; Hydra always was the most dominant of them, but Lyra mirrored back her sisters, and the continuum among them seemed shifting. Mine has not yet come, and neither do I know when it will, or.. she was quiet then, for this mere implication of a "weakness" (even if she was loathe to call it this when she felt fit and perfectly fine) was a delicate one not yet handled freely between them, mother to daughter. Amekaze was curious of how Hydra might take this information, especially with her own of-age upon her. And your father is not handling it well, or with any patience, she said, perhaps indicating why he was so short, not that a nose full of oncoming season from his daughter had to help any.

Hydra considered all that her mother said, and nodded her head. It made sense. Hydra was not inclined to waste her time with others not worth it—experience had taught her that much—though her first season would perhaps overwhelm her to not be certain of the difference. There was only one she thought a viable, worthy candidate; one who had returned for her, despite his desire to stray. He had proven his loyalty to her, though his flirtatious tongue, to her understanding, had not been for her alone... in the past. 

They had both grown, she reasoned. And she would take his tongue before he used it in so sweet a manner to any other woman if they were to lay claim to one another. 

Her mother emphasized the point, and Hydra's eyes lifted to meet the womans jade as she stepped closer in a brief moment of reprieve from all she was accosted with. Hydra knew love, true love, for very few; her mother had earned that place in her heart... and her respect, too. Only the best for us, mother, she spoke firmly to acknowledge she would heed the words. Hydra's ears pricked as her mother spoke of hers having yet to arrive. There was a pleasure in this more instinctual than cruel; more resources for her own progeny. But only for her family could this feeling ever be fleeting, and Hydra, not knowing well how to comfort, breathed through her nose. 

There is still time, Hydra readily acknowledged, hoping this might bring some peace to her mothers mind. Hydra would not think that infertility brought on by age was weakness, and her mother was hardly yet an age one would ever consider weak or frail. She had bore three strong litters, and Hydra (lastborn of the triplets, but who would ever know it?) felt herself the strongest of them all. She would shoulder this burden for her mother, and hope to shelve it. Nevermind him, Hydra said with an impish grin. She loved her father as much as she loved her mother, and her tail waved. Whatever is to come, he will learn to live with it. You have brought him the greatest gifts; none could ever bring him more than you, she encouraged, and we will kill them if they so much as seek to. Her tail waved at that; Hydra was very much so on the same page as her mother in regards to their nepotistic values, and even, perhaps, as possessive of him as their mother. In her case, however, it was for Amekaze.

She did hope that her explanation may fit. It was never the same for anyone and with her own first time a distant, far off memory, she often wondered if what she had learned later on would help serve her in these days-turned-weeks to come. Matters, and whims of the heart tied into the seasons, were not easily packed into something neat, or concise, though. But it did seem, based on a thoughtful observation, that Hydra could take it for what it was worth now, nearly upon her own. In return, she nodded slow even when there were no further questions. Not yet, but she would field them best she could as she had to grasp it too, and understand not only this, but even her own absence.

And yes, there was time, Ame knew this.. but even the real enough hope did not rouse her particularly--which she didn't like, it was strange, but not.. not a bad sensation she found in practice. She had felt up until only recently that she was just taking her time. It wasn't unlike her in these delicate, important matters, so maybe that brought in some of her nonchalance.. though she sensed something innate (and too hard to place) about it still. True, and believe me, I have told him this. He seems to forget you were not born until almost the fall, she sighed, utterly exhausted on the subject because she mistakenly believed she had the time to wait. She wasn't going anywhere? And she knew she had seen several full turns of the seasons, but not exactly when that biological conclusion was meant to be met; she hadn't read the book.

Anyway, she was stressing over it because Charon was getting to her. Hydra's understanding was refreshing and as she steeled her psyche for whatever hellscape from him awaited her after this, that would be something to keep close to her heart. I do not feel like I am missing anything, she murmured, with it creeping some of the acceptance she was working on though her tail arced even then. She didn't miss a heat, not another pregnancy, more pups and instead, felt largely satisfied when she wasn't being reminded of what she wasn't immediately able to provide--for him. It had once been for the mountain as well and this had done well to show her, and remind her to consider that it did not have to a burden for her alone--an idea coming with an unexpected sense of clarity as it all could just about add up. 

To her, it would come if it was right, and it wouldn't if not. Nature said so, even if it said so for Hydra. That fiery, vicious need didn't burn in her, she couldn't find it--not when pressured, especially. Charon making her feel so weary over it and him didn't help, and her daughter's words had her rumble a soft hm first. She could not complain there. I hope he can remember that, she replied, ominously in her way of agreeing with interest, though she dreaded what was to come in confronting this outright with him. He worried her, deep down, even before this. She saw how it was, remembered, understood starting long ago--Althaia? Suspect as hell, but he was just so quick to go wild with a nose full of season, so that trust always stayed a little incomplete. He may not handle.. this well, either, she gestured her muzzle Hydra's way. On top of Ame denying him? This was her way to saying brace for it, just in case. But, he will not really have a choice.. she rumbled, for she had made hers for the time being.

She was glad to hear her mother did not long for it. Selfishly, again, and this time she embraced the feeling (though did not reveal it). Hydra could not know all that went on in her mothers mind or her body, but she trusted her mother knew enough of it to understand that she was not ill. Though it was not a challenge, her tail remained rigid and outward; Hydra made clear of her designs to step back into her role, here. She wanted more than that, but for the time being the ambition seemed to rest as her mother spoke. 

Hm, she responded as her mother gestured to her. For a moment... Hydra breathed. She looked to her mother. I wanted to fight, earlier. I don't know why, not really. Perhaps that is why. Perhaps he thinks... I am a threat to you two, Hydra considered this for a moment. As of yet, she had not come to this conclusion directly herself. Hydra looked skyward and admitted, I do want to lead, someday. I want... I want my children to be safe and secure. I want no bastards, Hydra licked her chops and did not yet turn to look back to her mother, though every other sense was attuned to her. Aunts and uncles, yes, she grinned, showing her own optimism for Amekaze and her presently empty womb, but bastards—I would not have them here. Her gaze shifted back to her mother, now, knowing she was not alone in this sentiment.

She sighed softly, and had a lot to think on--here, now, after, soon. Perhaps, but it is natural to feel that way--to want to fight, she said, quieter, although justifying her  but contemplative as Hydra proposed that point for the alpha male's prickliness. It was not all too farfetched, but that was more of a matter between the two of them--Amekaze and Hydra first, foremost, not necessarily Charon so immediately, though he was sure to be affected one way or another whether or not they struck a truce in the matter. I do not know what he is thinking right now, she added with a distant, tired look that spoke its volumes well beyond what she would say blatantly. She could theorize on it all day and probably reach nothing of real usefulness; she just had to come to grips with what was present, and still see to it that the pack could grow.

I know, that Hydra wished to lead, that she was groomed to carry on as she herself had been taught and trained, and in this.. Ame did not see fit to deny her. She remembered all too well her mate's suggestion that they step back, but not yet--although one day inevitably, yes, but while she did not feel her motivations in all the proper ways she should, she still felt hale enough to stand at the head of the mountain. Far more than herself, worried for Charon who seemed to stand in opposition to her in this, obsessed with whatever he didn't have in front of him, or worse. Ame soured, as her angst over him continued to haze over even this pivotal moment between them, mother to daughter.

Here, to me, they should have that safety, as my litters did.. and may still if they do come to be, she didn't know for sure, as Hydra's optimism seemed to shade towards, although Amekaze didn't muster much energy for her own faith yet. Because if not my own, then yours. I would not want to think otherwise, not.. not yet. Not since she still held onto a sliver of hope, remembering her history for a late litter once before. Nevertheless, Hydra was one of the very few deserving, and her timing was well enough that Ame couldn't outright disagree in full. Of all her offspring, Amekaze had taught her to be scrutinizing, and instilled on her enough of her will in this, hopefully. So, perhaps she could finally let a piece go and it could be in all of their best interests one day.

It boiled down to the fact that her daughter's potential litter was insurance, for her line and for the mountain both in the event she did physically forego it all entirely. As a concept, she was still innately nervous about pups not of her own, but these.. might be different. Still her blood, and Charon's too just as much as her own, but through Hydra's contributions as well. It was taking a moment to set in. While not what she planned, and she didn't overly like the idea of two potential litters if she did decide to conjure up a late season, but they could deal with that if necessary, hopefully. Until then, Ame was keen to protect the sanctity of what she had always carefully guarded here--that it was a right reserved for few to be born on the Spear.

Anyway, perhaps that was enough for Hydra to consider for now--but certainly not all. Amekaze had worse things to attend to first and really, she wanted to let that set in for her daughter now that so long as they had an understanding.. 

Well, she gave her a fond nip and swallowed all of her dread. With a final farewell, she would go find Charon.