Noctisardor Bypass sesori

set for june 7 evening, aw <3

accept accept accept accept accept accept accept accept accept
acceptance is freedom.
acceptance is freedom.
her eyes moved trancelike across the rendezvous. fireflies had begun to wink one by one into life, and she smiled emptily at the children gathered to watch them.
through the motions of dance and laugh she went, even finding a hymn in a throat gone dry as charnel-house dust
and the clock ticked a loud sound through her brain which clacked against its inside and reminded her this was not the end.

Druid sat at the far side of the rendezvous site, though her mind was elsewhere. She didn’t really notice when the air darkened and fireflies began drifting through the still-warm air, winking in slow motion. Then she picked up a quiet hum and it tugged her attention back to her current surroundings, her eyes finding her sister’s pale figure moving through the dusk like a stray moonbeam.

She picked up her feet and moved nearer to the other Den Mother, thinking she must be in pleasant spirits if she was singing under her breath. But as Druid came closer to Heda and looked into her face, something she saw there disturbed her. She couldn’t even say what.

Hey, she said, keeping her voice down to avoid disturbing the kids’ bedtime, is something the matter?

Before her sister could even reply, Druid kicked herself. She’d been so caught up in her feelings for their northerly neighbor, she hadn’t been paying enough attention to things at home. She’d known it too—Redd herself had indirectly called her out on it—but only now did she sense she’d missed something of great import.

"ava and ana have gone, probably to find dinah." her voice was airy, a wisp of silverfluff carried by an empty wind. the eyes she turned on druid were just as voidless. "may god unite them with their brothers."
by which she did not mean the little boys who currently cavorted with the others born in rivenwood this year. heda sat gracefully to watch them, still humming a fervent sliver of that hymn's sound.
accept accept accept.

Druid sagged under the weight of the first five words, then tensed at the sixth. She sipped in a breath but did not speak until she was sure Heda had finished. Even then, a long beat of silence stretched, filled only with Heda’s quiet hum and the distant din of children playing. Her sister looked rather stoic, all things considered, but Druid’s insides roiled. She wondered if her recent rendezvous with Redd had really stoked her emotive side lately.

Probably? she said finally. Did they not tell you? Did they not say goodbye?

"of course not," heda said softly. "they've been pretty scarce anyway. ava left me a meal and then i waited three days. three days, druid. but i think i know they won't be back."
eight out of ten, lost. squandered.
she turned her eyes back to the children and stared until her vision blurred to nothing.

Of course not? Druid thought incredulously. She knew Ava never spoke—at least, she’d never heard her speak aloud—but surely they could’ve said their farewells somehow. The Den Mother’s head reared back in disbelief that quickly turned into sympathy.

I don’t know what to say, she admitted, shifting herself so that she sat beside Heda. Druid pressed their shoulders together as she added, I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you the past few days. I’m here now, though. Is there anything I can do?

"oh, druid, you can't be here for it all," heda sighed wearily, turning her head against her sister's shoulder for a moment of reassurance. "i just need a little more sleep, i think, just a couple of days."
she didn't like asking for help, but druid had never made her feel less for it, and she was learning to trust in more than her own shaky notion of self.

Heda said she needed sleep. Druid couldn’t help her with that directly, though there were many ways she could indirectly facilitate her sister’s need for some rest. Especially now that she’d been so flagrantly rejected by Redd, there was no reason she couldn’t step up for the other Den Mother. Besides that, she wanted to do whatever she could to support Heda.

In the meantime, she could think of something to get her mind off things. Druid of course wanted to explain the reason for her recent sparsity, as well as share this piece of herself with her closest confidante. But she wondered how her sister might take it.

Hey, what would you think if I told you, Druid said, looping her forelegs around one of Heda’s elbows, I think I like women as well as men? She paused, head cocked, and amended, Actually, I think I like them better than men.