Sun Mote Copse time's the revelator

@Wraen

it was strange how time passed with or without the consent of those who lived under its rule. already, it had been a full month since arcturus had left the spear. it felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago.

he had adjusted, in some ways. he still carried the leanness of the mountain to him -- that hardness was unlikely to ever go away. yet, some parts of him were changed, too. he moved less rigidly, having come to learn most of firebirds' territory in his time here. he moved with more purpose, having come to accept his place here as well.

today, he was ruminating on how sharply his life had careened away from his identity when he came across wraen's scent on the trail. she always had a way of putting his troubles away -- eager to unsaddle the burdens that weighed his mind heavily, the ostrega followed her trail in quiet contemplation.

"Time flies" is probably the most overused saying in the English language (and I am pretty sure than in others too), but one that is true to the core, true for every generation of the past, present and future, and there is no better alternative to it. Wraen had no way of knowing the exact day she had been born, but she counted springs to keep a track and on this particular day it came as a surprise that with four years under her belt, the fifth had begun.

You would not tell from her looks that she had aged much, save for the consistently calm and leve look in her eyes and in the way she made no unnecessary steps or activities. No longer was the world be an endless source of wonder that she had to discover right there, right now. Quite often nowadays she would rather have a rest in a sunlit bed of soft moss than go out and explore. Or perch on a very good observation points along the borders for hours at time, watching, listening and thinking. 

She tired from boisterous and energetic kids more easily, and enjoyed her moments of peace, quiet and solitude. Wraen had gone even so far that she knew all the best places in Sun Mote Copse, where you could hide and remain unnoticed by others until you decided to wake and present yourself to the world again. Wraen was sleeping in one such place now - there was an old tree standing on the edge of the river-bank, earth had been washed out underneath it's roots during spring floods. She had come across this place, when the water levels had dropped, and seeing the potential in it, she had dug out a hollow in the soft sand. 

There she had sought out shelter from the heat of the day and was nursing her sore limbs that had suffered, during a hefty play in Niamh's piranha pool. The sound of rushing water nearby blocked out Arcturus's footsteps as he had come close to her hiding place, therefore she was blissfully unaware that soon her nap would be interrupted.

indeed, time flew. and the lives within time often flew past, too. arcturus did not contemplate such heavy matters, but he felt the pull of time all the same every day.

wraen's scent was thicker closer to the water. the mountaineer slowed and listened to to the rush of the river and the little lives that stirred beside it: the brush of reeds, the chirps of birds, the soft thrumming of a thousand insects: a peaceful orchestra that had even his eyes growing heavy.

rounding a collapsed tree, arcturus recognized the sign of freshly tilled earth. his eyes took some time to adjust to the shadows, but under the eaves he made out wraen's form seemingly sleeping.

he moved gingerly. resting on his haunches, arcturus stole a look to wraen in a moment where she was truly unarmed, and he truly unnoticed. here he fondly traced the depth of her features, the lines he had come to know and even loved, even if wraen was not aware of it.

he did not wish to stare, but she captivated him so -- eventually, the ostrega cleared his throat and winced at how the noise disturbed what for a minute had been a very tranquil (and fleeting) time in his life.

Wraen sighed and stretched in her sleep, then lifted her head, shook it a little and yawned. Few lazy blinks later she caught sight of a certain someone sitting nearby and observing her.

"Hello, Handsome..." she murmured and swayed her tail few times in acknowledgement. She was still not entirely awake, therefore instead of getting up, she moved a little forward so that both her forepaws and head were resting on the cushion of sand. 

She regarded him with a gaze full of warmth and kindness and, when her green eyes met the glowing amber of his a slow smile appeared in her lips. It was good to have him here - she realized - all the time not at just occasional chance meetings. And, while her moment of bliss lasted, she did not say a word and Arcturus had all the freedom to tell her anything.

he was caught -- but rather than feel ashamed, arcturus felt as if a warm pylon of sun overcame him. while wraen inched forward with a smile, arcturus found his tail swaying of its own accord.

to be greeted as such -- with a compliment and total warmth -- arcturus had spent his entire life in the cold, both physically and in many ways, emotionally. it nearly caught the ostrega off guard.

glancing away as to not appear intense, arcturus dipped his head and spoke."nice place for a nap. did i wake you?"

"It's the best," Wraen replied, sensing slight embarrassment rising up in Arcturus and, though he was in no way as bad as Eljay was in moments like these, she decided to let it slide and keep the conversation going. One such Finwood son was enough for her. 

"And I have many such secret spaces scattered around the copse," she revealed. "When I am too lazy to get away from my duties by heading out in the wilds, I am happy to camp out here. See and hear everything, but remain unnoticed," she smiled. 

"What have you been up to lately? Are you getting along with everyone? No one's upsetting you?" she wanted to know.

it came as little surprise to arcturus that wraen would be crafty enough to have various haunts sequestered away in the copse. in his mind, he believed the sovereign in high demand -- it only made sense she would be hard pressed for time alone.

still, he could not get over being called handsome -- his heart tittered.

slightly apologetic then for intruding, arcturus rounded his shoulders and leveled a slight smile. "smart. i imagine it's good to spend time by yourself every once in a while." as for himself... he had no shortage of alone-time as of late. he preferred this routine -- it was easier in many ways, to get things accomplished when one was alone. "no one is bothering me. you run a well organized ship." arcturus observed lightly, having no qualms with the residents he lived with. if anything, they had been overwhelmingly welcoming. it was a stark contrast to the iciness of moonspear; and it was that sense that chewed at arcturus as of late.

"You would not believe. As I become older, I enjoy more the company of myself," Wraen chuckled, but the statement was true. She loved her packmates dearly, but she also enjoyed not being in the middle of all things, joining in only, when it was absolutely necessary and required. 

"Well, they organize themselves quite well. I only have to prod, pinch and push time from time," she told him smiling. With three or four (she had lost count) experienced former and existing leaders in her team, what else could she wish for. They were the closest thing to democracy in a wolf sense and her being at the top of the helm was only a matter of convenience. They would do nicely without her too.

"Have you met any of your family and friends from Moonspear recently?" she asked, considering that a decent amount of time had already passed and that it was safe to discuss this now.

arcturus was still young enough where having only the company of yourself sounded terrifying. while he spent much of his time alone patrolling the borders, he often found himself relieved to find company. being alone with his thoughts -- well.. it was best not to think, and being with others made it so he was not able to become too introspective.

at the mention of his family, arcturus' smile slipped. "yes. kukutux, and jarilo." both meetings had been bitter, for different reasons. life on moonspear was going on without him, and arcturus found that difficult to swallow. "they are expecting."

Still that bad... Wraen had not expected Arcturus to recover so quickly. He had left all his life and all he had believed in back at Moonspear. And beginning anew was very difficult. Especially, since his past life resided somewhere near and he could and would run into it any time. She had bid goodbye to her family once and headed out in the world, yet it had happened on mutually sincere terms. Not with a drama. 

"When you feel you are ready," she began, carefully choosing words, "I think it would be better, if you reconnected with some of them. I do not mean Hydra or anyone else of the kind, but surely you had other friends or family members there that still consider you a decent guy. I think that, even if you have taken a different path in life, you can still take the best out from what you had in the past."

Wraen paused, giving time for this to sink in and finally added: "But that is your call. I just want you to know that just because you are here, does not mean that... nothing or nobody from your former home is forbidden."

arcturus could appreciate the gingerness in which wraen broached a painful topic. she chose her words carefully, but minced nothing -- it was one of the many things he appreciated about the sovereign. she was always able to dive into the meat of the matter, no matter how sensitive, while still maintaining tact.

he hedged a sigh between them, for it was a weighty matter indeed. the idea of visiting his family caused his stomach to writhe, his self-preservation to wriggle; surely, visiting his family would have the same outcome as jumping into a shark pit.

and he might as well just jump to the sharks -- their means of devising his end would be far swifter.

arcturus did, however, find that wraen's blessing he could make reparations was heartening. "i am not there yet." he answered transparently. "but i appreciate the gesture. i would prefer to put that part of my life behind me." for good, perhaps. there were people and pieces he missed, but why wallow? life could only go forward.

"Whichever path you choose to take - is fine by me," Wraen reassured her friend and a yawn interrupted, whatever wise thing she had wanted to say next. This was promptly forgotten, when her jaws clicked shut and she sighed. 

"What would you like to do now?" she asked, her sources of conversation matter having run dry for the moment, therefore she pulled herself up to her feet and, while still sitting, stretched her neck and spine.

it was rare to find a person so unflustered by the paths taken by their comrades; arcturus gave wraen an appreciative smile as a yawn and then silence spread between them. he stifled the urge to yawn himself, but ultimately lost that short battle.

he did not feel he could tell wraen what he truly wanted; not because she was not easy to talk to, but because his thoughts were not easy to articulate: what if she rejected him, what if she did not feel the same way? what if it jeopardized the friendship they had? these thoughts often tormented arcturus, though he kept a good face around wraen.

"what would you like to do?" he put the ball back in her court -- he would follow wraen to whatever end she devised, if that was not already obvious to all that watched them.

"You are not helping," Wraen pointed out, raising to her feet and arching her back to get rid of the stiffness. Though she had claimed herself to be old on more than one occasion, she did not believe to actually be there yet. But on some days it was noticably more difficult to get all the joints pop and go in action than usual. 

"I offer you kindly to be creative and you are too polite to utilize that privilege," she teased him gently. "But old habits die hard," Wraen smiled. "So let's just walk and play a game called "Many, many questions"," she would have said 20, if she had had any idea, what that number meant. "I ask something about you and you are free to come up with a question about me," she suggested. "Sounds good? You can start then."

wraen stretched alongside him; arcturus suppressed the urge to do the same.

they were off, wraen teasing him for his lack of imagination, and arcturus smiling as he took it in stride. it was true -- he was not a man who could easily utilize his creativity. a life on moonspear had produced a capable wolf -- dry, and sometimes a bit boring -- but not a wolf who was fanciful or deeply poetic.

he was not sure if he liked this game; like all of wraens' games, it presented the singular challenge that was exposing more about himself he would rather keep isolated. if wraen never knew of all of his flaws, he might still have a chance -- but once the cat was out of the bag...

"sure," he agreed, though his heart was hammering and he was already worrying about what stupid things he might say. and what kind of questions should he ask -- should they be strictly professional, or should they be personal? he was silent for several sweeping strides as he thought of a good opener -- what would be a casual enough question that wraen would not feel perturbed, but was engaging enough she would not find him insufferably stuffy?

"besides the copse, what is your favorite territory to visit?"

If Arcturus had not yet noticed that now, then he would do so in time - Wraen loved to talk and she was not overly secretive, when it came to discussing personal matters. She always had an opinion to share and it was even better, if the other person was just as invested in the discussion. She did not have illusions about ever making a chatterbox out of her friend, but she hoped that in time he would become less focussed on appearances and enjoying being himself more. 

"The Sentinels. It was a sequoia forest right next to the shores. I was born there, I do not remember much and after I left with my parents, it burned down. But I visit the place once in a while and, even though hardly anything is left from it's former glory, I always feel a very deep connection with it. As if the land has known me for a very long time," she explained. "I will take you there one day,"  she promised and then fell silent, thinking about, what could she ask Arcturus. Anything in relation to his past and family was out of question for the time being. 

"What's your favourite season and why?" she asked. This was harmless enough.

it was lucky wraen liked to talk. she filled the gaps between arcturus' long pauses; she was the brilliant flush of spring-time between a long and stretched out winter.

he had never been to the sentinels, but he imagined the place all the same. his reckoning of wraen's birthplace was not so different than the reality, though in his imagination, particularly as she mentioned the forest had been razed by fire.

"i would like to visit." arcturus countered, wondering if he would find a connection with the place that had borne wraen, so long ago. she was important to him, and by proxy, the things she cared for mattered. he hoped that someday he would stand in the halls of her home, and close his eyes and imagine wraen as a puppy, yearling, adult -- running and laughing and playing before the hardships of life had worn her (and her forest) down.

as for her question, arcturus did not need to think. "i like the spring." he thought of the rushwater as it fled down the mountain, and a pang of pain filled his heart that he would not see such sights ever again. "it always seems to come around the corner when you need it most, reminding you that the world is not always cold and dreadful."

he paused, thinking of his next question. how his conscience burned to ask something a bit more intimate (who was your first crush? who is your crush now? are you seeing anyone? and perhaps most insecure of all will you see me?), to guide the topic to a matter very much weighing on his heart -- but he quickly navigated away from any such blunder. "what is your favorite thing to eat?"

"A bit of a romantic in heart, huh?" Wraen teased him gently and assumed that winters in the mountains had to be way harder than they were in the plains and forests. Though it did no seem that the last season's absence of large game and other maladies had had any effect on Arcturus at all. Perhaps, with a Hydra at helm you could not starve even if you wanted it dearly.

"I find beauty in every one of them. It's hard to pick just one," she shared, then thought about the favourite food thing, which, in her opinion, was a very weird question. "I have never given much thought about it up until today. I think that food is just food. You can't have preferences, when you do not know, which way and in what form your next meal will be coming," she explained. "Where have you never been?" Wraen grinned to herself, as she asked it. It was a silly question and a trick question at the same time.

arcturus had never been called a romantic (and an unflatteringly masculine part of him almost rebelled against such label), but he found with wraen, he did not mind it so much.

perhaps he was romantic.

on the subject of food, he was blown away she did not have a preference. he liked his food as any other, and while he had not been able to be picky during the famine, he had only lost a slight bit of condition that had been easily regained during the spring thaw.

thinking now of food, arcturus' mouth watered and he stowed away such thoughts, perplexed by wraen's next question. "to the sentinels." he responded almost immediately, feeling it was some sort of joke or trick. he tilted his head questioningly to the side. again came that stupid, insipid question (do you like me?  and he buried it deep).

"who was your first crush?"

there, he said it -- or at least, had started the path down that forbidden, exciting topic...

and now his nerves were afire in nervousness.

"Come on, that's not the only place you have not been to?" Wraen laughed merrily at Arcturus's quick answer and noted to herself that, whenever she would have time and her shoulder would not bother her too much, she would have to take that guy out more. Moonspear was not the rim of the world, neither was Sun Mote copse. 

"Leander. He was a young male that returned to my family's pack together with my sister Sarah. Tall, handsome, easy-going and very kind," she replied, smiling at the memory of the first man she had fallen head-over-heels with and the one reason, why she had chosen to set out in the world. Had it not been for him, she might have never felt the urge to leave the comfy nest of her parents claim.

"I fell for him the moment I saw him - I think that I was barely a year old then and I had not seen much of other people outside my immediate family circle. He was like a travelling prince from the stories and, what else a naive and innocent soul needs to be charmed?" she chuckled, her gaze having a far-off expression with a tinge of sadness.

"When I confessed, he heard me out and refused me kindly. He did not feel the same way and I felt heartbroken," Wraen went on with the story. "That was - in fact - me facing the reality of life for the first time. I had lived in fairy-tales and preconcieved ideas of, what life should be. And being turned down had never been part of it," she said. 

"Imagine the disappointment - I did not know, how to deal with it, while still in the same ranks as him, so I left to nurse my heart elsewhere. It is whole now and the experience left me a wiser person," she said. "There came others after him, that gave me the familiar tingling feeling in the pit of my belly and tips of my toes, but it was never exactly the same. Never went anywhere," Wraen sighed. 

"Therefore I have given up on the whole business entirely and chosen solitary spinsterhood instead. It is not as bad as it sounds, but at times it is a very lonely existence. Arthur, therefore... don't take my path. Make something more meaningful out of your life. That you have to promise me," she gave him a look, full of fondness and then turned her gaze away to stare thoughtfully in the distance.

but of all the places arcturus hadn't been, wraen's childhood home interested him the most.

he listened in earnest to wraen's recounting of her first crush. he couldn't help the prickle of jealousy and insecurity he felt, but he did his best to hide it from wraen's discerning eyes. if he was lucky, she might not notice.

he thought this male stupid to refute wraen's affections; such scorn was on the tip of his tongue, but he bedded his thoughts down and continued to listen. he was most dissatisfied, but in the end, wasn't it him that benefited from leander's turning away of wraen? without the courtly male's rejection, arcturus might never have met wraen at all.

a weird blessing in disguise, thought arcturus. he went from dissatisfied to distressed, to hear wraen's cautioning. she was not that old, and hello! he was right here! she did not need to be a spinster when arthur was very much under her nose and waiting for the right moment.

he wanted to move closer, but stayed that impulse. how he wanted to blurt it all, admit his adoration of her -- his practical worship -- but if arcturus had learned anything during his time with the sovereign, it was that there was simply too much at stake to jeopardize his relationship with her. "i promise.. but, you speak as if you are an ancient crone." arcturus avoided inputting too much emotion (particularly, his utter disbelief she was suited for a spinsterly life), meeting her gaze for a brief moment before looking at his paws. "as if your time was up. i think that is anything but the case."

"I am halfway there. Finley and Elwood passed away, when they were just a tad bit older than me. My parents too," Wraen explained, regarding Arcturus softly. "When you are two, you think and believe that all the life is still ahead of you. That there is plenty of time still. When you hit four, not only the first limitations appear in regards of health, you also begin to realize that you have just passed the peak of your life and are heading downhill. Slowly, gradually, but down," she said. 

"It is hard to explaien and make other people understand, what it feels like," she went on. "But it is something you will come to realize in your later years as well. Then you will fully understand," she smiled. "I believe it is my turn now to ask a question, is it not? What has been the best day of your life up until now?" 

it seemed twenty questions had taken a turn for the serious, delving now into territory that for arcturus, was uncomfortably morbid.

wraen did not seem so flustered; she delivered her insight in a calm manner that had arcturus believing it was simply factual.. and yet, he tried to think of all the wolves he had known that were her age or more advanced.. his mind went instantly to his sister; she was not so much younger than wraen, was she? how old had his parents been, when...?

"that may be true, but you do not have to live as if you are old just yet." arcturus interjected, stil feeling his true feelings on the matter were chaining him down. before he could say much else, wraen prompted him with another question that he thought lengthily on.

what had been the best day of his life, truly? he knew the answer, but it sounded dreadfully corny. while that day had not been golden, or even overwhelmingly positive, it had set the stage for his current trajectory in life -- and for that, arcturus could argue it was the best day of his life. "the day i met you. i didn't know it then, but that innocuous little day changed everything." he smiled to himself, yet it was a smile tinged with sadness.

no matter, life moved on as the river did. "if you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?"

"That's true - I am not dead yet," Wraen agreed calmly, not wishing to continue the subject of her own mortality. It was not as if she thought about it every day or let it influence her often, but at times the idea that her life was coming to a close was scary. She was not afraid of death as such so much as she was of not existing anymore. 

"An interesting way of seeing it. I had never thought that you may have the best day of your life and not realize it at the time," she mused, wondering, how many such days she had missed without knowing. It was not easy to make an exact tally, because her mind was wired to return to the every day she had felt very happy and content. Such as the feeling of oneness with her sister, when they explored together. Or "hagging around" with Towhee and Niamh in the bog. Several little moments that counted. 

"I would not want to change a single thing, because each one of them - both pleasant, sad or ugly - have made me, who I am now," Wraen told him smiling. "I would not want to change being me for anything," she added. "What is your greatest fear?"

wraen's mortality was a subject that distressed arcturus on a deep level, and so, he was not sorry when the topic shifted to something a bit more palatable.

he was silent as wraen mused on his statements, and quiet still as she asked him of his greatest fear.

he knew it instantly ((that i will miss my shot)) -- but how could he ever articulate that, when he had the sense and the tongue of a boar?

arcturus fussed at the dirt for a while, looking at his imprints in the loam. "that i could lose all of this.." it wasn't the full truth, but it wasn't an outright lie either. it toed the margin just perfectly enough that arthrur did not feel guilty. he regretted so many things, that he was truly in awe that wraen regretted none.

but maybe..

maybe she was right. after all, all the bad turns in his road had taken him here. "what is something someone has said you, that has stuck?"