Dragoncrest Cliffs bittersweet, irresistible, a crawling beast

set directly after pack meeting

as the wolves of sapphique filtered away, mireille leading the children with her, erzulie chuffed to @Meerkat. she was not unaware of the woman's changes, nor was it unclear that njord had been gone a long while.
he was a seafarer, she knew, and his love for the sea led him back again and again to the salt. but this time he had left a stricken young wife and three children behind.
the ruby — obsidian no longer — gestured for the other woman to follow her. they would walk east, as far east as they were able, until the tributaries of the unnamed river fed into the sea across a stretch of open ivory beach.
there she set her mismatched eyes on meerkat with a knowing look. "did he speak wid you before he left?"

Feeling rather numb today, Meerkat obediently trailed alongside Erzulie. She had attended the meeting, though she scarcely thought about what it all meant as the two of them headed eastward. She could think only of Njord.

The Ruby’s quiet question drew Meerkat out of her head for a moment, prompting her to pause before saying, Yes. Had he told no one else? He just planned to visit Meares Island to tell them the good news, maybe arrange a visit…

She thought of what else he’d told her, about a prior trip. Had something waylaid him again? Neither one of them had expected him to be gone this long. Perhaps he was needed there, for some reason or another, but then why hadn’t he sent a messenger, at the very least?

Despite how anxious and unhappy she felt, Meerkat murmured in his defense, He’ll come back. I know he will. She paused, sighing, It’s just hard…

erzulie had never been in fear that rosalyn would leave her. it seemed the particular dismay of those who married men, to lose them to wandering or whims. the ruby too thought that njord would return; she gave a single nod to support meerkat's defense.
but it would not be the same when he did. each day he was departed, she saw the young woman grow more sadly. and now that her children ran about corsair beach in the company of the others, what did meerkat have but her own thoughts?
"you have us," erzulie said softly, though she greatly understood it was not the same as having njord home. "perhaps you might get away for a little while, meerkat, before de winter comes. while it is still summer. go an' visit your mot'er."
only a suggestion. she nudged the other's shoulder in affection. "i did not see indra at de meetin'. it seems dat she has wandered off. i am going to look for her aroun' de edge of sapphique, here an' nor' of us, if you would like to come."

Despite how bleak she felt today, she mustered a genuine if small smile at Erzulie’s, “You have us.” It faltered, then fell, at the woman’s subsequent words.

I considered it, she admitted, but I’d rather not leave the kids. And I don’t want to take them, not without their da. And what if I did go somewhere and he returned? I don’t want to miss him…

There was the option of going and looking for him, yet she’d discarded it out of hand. Meerkat had spent much of her life searching, searching, searching… at the cost of her happiness and other relationships. She wouldn’t do it again, not even for Njord. He would have to come to her. He would have to come home.

Her brow furrowed at the news of Indra. She inwardly recoiled at the invitation, though Meerkat wished otherwise. She sucked in a breath, thinking it over. Would Erzulie take offense, think less of her, if she declined?

I think I’d rather stay right here at home, if that’s okay.

"of course, mon cher," erzulie murmured. meerkat was not ready to surrender any moment where njord might be. she hated to see the young seawife so distraught, but would not seek to draw her away from sapphique again.
not until she was ready.
"de sea takes an' she gives," erzulie said gently. "i do not know if you be a believer in such t'ings, meerkat. but do not be afraid to ask her."
the ruby turned her mintglow eyes out toward the water, the tributaries branching toward the ocean. "she be constant."

Erzulie didn’t fault her for wishing to remain close to home, her sweet French words calming the guilt that stirred in Meerkat’s gut. She focused on breathing in and out as the Ruby spoke of the sea, drawing comfort from the woman’s familiar, pleasant lilt.

Doubtless she hadn’t meant to do anything but reassure Meerkat, yet something she said choked the breath from the young woman’s throat. “De sea takes an’ she gives…” Her stricken eyes fixed on Erzulie’s face as she came to a sudden halt.

You don’t think…? she voiced the question in a tremulous whisper.

The matriarch probably didn’t know Njord wasn’t just gone but overdue. And there was no word from Meares Island, at least not yet. Once more, she fretted that he could have been waylaid on his way back to Sapphique. Or what if he’d never even reached his homeland…?

erzulie did not speak for a moment. she did not look toward meerkat. the profile of the matriarch remained serene. "i t'ink when you love someone who loves de sea, you must always accept dat it be possible de water takes dem too."
she had no platitudes for meerkat. erzulie lived herself by realism. pragmatism. "my son, scarab, from my first litter, was taken by de sea. de soun' flooded. he was swept out."
she drew a steady breath. "he did come back, meerkat, but he was different. not de same."
her belief in the power of the waves had become stronger in that moment. the ocean took. the ocean changed. the lap of salt was eternal, even shaping stone.
"i have seen njord travel to an' fro. i have seen him return." her voice remained even. "an' i do not t'ink he would have abandoned any of you." so meerkat must draw her own conclusions.
erzulie invited her closer, if the other woman wished, lending her presence as a motherly shadow.

She wanted mindless reassurances, yet she did not receive them. Meerkat supposed she should be grateful that Erzulie cared enough to be pragmatic at a time like this. But the implication absolutely devastated her, fittingly crashing over her with the blunt force of a tsunami.

Cradled against Erzulie’s shoulder, Meerkat bawled out of control.

erzulie held her. better that meerkat make her peace with it now rather than hold onto the grief until it spiraled and burned everything into a harrowing regret.
she was silent, though her own eyes stung with tears. she was fond of njord, but in some ways she wished that meerkat had chosen a different way to become a mother. it would have saved her this, which was a goodly part of why sapphique held such a structure.
erzulie breathed. she sang a low song in old french.

Her ribs felt like they might crack as she sucked in deep breaths only to loose them in the form of wracking sobs. She cried until she ran out of breath, quieting somewhat but letting the tears stream down her face as Erzulie crooned a song in her ear.

She wept herself into exhaustion, not really sure what to do with herself when it was all said and done. Suppose something had happened to Njord and he just… never came back. Would she be able to accept that, without closure? Or would she live the rest of her days, always holding out hope that he might turn up one day, no matter how long it took?

Meerkat didn’t have the answers. Spent, she rested her head on Erzulie’s shoulder and just let the grief and uncertainty of it press against her broken heart.

erzulie continued to hold her.
there were a thousand things to say. there were none at all. the war was the last time that she had been faced with the pain that meerkat now felt in her heart, and that felt dozens of eons ago by now. she tried to remember what caiaphas had said, if the old witch had offered any words of comfort at all during those days.
"come home wid me an' rosalyn an' jorunn for a little. a day or two. you do not need to be alone at night, meerkat." she smiled. "an' chacal is in de meadow, just beyond. soon her children will join ours an' yours."
a circle of mothers.

She felt depleted, the occasional tear still dripping down her pale cheekbones. But she found the energy to straighten her spine and sit up when Erzulie invited her to share the womens’ space in a show of solidarity. The invitation earned the faintest of smiles.

I need to be near my kids, she murmured. I won’t be alone, at least until they grew enough to leave her too, she acknowledged with a pang. Thank you, though, for everything, she added after a short, exhausted pause.

Another spell of quiet passed as Meerkat collected herself a bit more before saying, No matter what happens, this is my home. I may not be the best pack member right now, but I’m not going anywhere.

She’d come here to be with Njord, built so many beautiful memories with him in this place. Meerkat couldn’t picture leaving. But what if he really never came back? And their children decided to disperse? Would she still belong here then?

Her present pain was great enough that she couldn’t bear thinking about a future so bleak. Meerkat pushed it out of her mind with a weak sigh, trying to muster the energy to find her feet.

"i t'ink you are a great packmate, meerkat." she was only sad now. the younger woman had not abandoned sapphique, nor taken her children away to find their father. she had not run after njord. she stayed where they had made a marriage and a home together.
loyalty such as this was deserving of love.
she would walk with meerkat back to corsair beach, remaining a short while if only to remind the other that she did not need to be alone. and then erzulie would return to rosalyn and to jorunn, sending a silent prayer to the lwa for meerkat's wellbeing.