Silverlight Terrace sway my way

The timing worked out rather perfectly. @Njord could enjoy some da(ddy)/daughter time while she and @Fennec took the day to explore the terrace and beyond. She promised to return by nightfall at the very latest, though secretly Meerkat hoped to get back a little earlier and invite Fennec to have supper with her family.

The birds chirped loudly at this early hour. Meerkat climbed down the mountainside, pausing every now and then to admire the fantastic view of the sunrise here the on northeastern slopes. Eventually, she had to veer more north than east, the crags rising up to plunge her into shadows. She could see the sunlight spreading on the open plain below and hastened toward it.

Just as she emerged back into the morning radiance, Meerkat stopped, closed her eyes and raised her voice to summon her sister.

Set for tomorrow morn! :)

Fennec hadn’t told anyone about the trip, feeling no real need to since it was only for the day. If it extended overnight she’d regret that maybe, but she doubted anything would happen so close by to cause that and knew Meerkat would need to be back for her pups. They weren’t old enough to be without her long.

She rose when she heard the howl and smiled, picking her way around and across the mountain carefully towards where she assumed Meerkat would be. It wasn’t a hard guess to make, considering where they intended to go and where she would have started her way down.

When she reached the end of the trail she paused and was rewarded with the sound of someone nearby. Hey. Any trouble sneaking out? She asked, lips twitching up to an amused smirk at the joke. She also couldn’t help the small pang she felt at the memory - there’d been a time when Killer had been loathe to be separated from her too. He still stayed near, but it was different when they were small.

While she waited for Fennec to arrive, Meerkat took a seat and enjoyed the morning quiet. Well, the birds were quite loud, though she didn’t mind that at all. She shut her eyes again and tilted her face toward the morning sun, loving the rosy warmth of it.

Footfalls announced her sister’s approach, so Meerkat adjusted her head and peered over her shoulder. She smiled, even if Fen couldn’t see it, then swept onto all fours as the other woman came closer.

Och, she said, a term she’d picked up from Njord, I left before they woke up for the day. Their da’s with them. Since he just got back from his trip, I’m sure they won’t even notice I’m missing, Meerkat said with a fond chortle.

She bit back the, “You ready?” on the tip of her tongue and instead pushed a shoulder into Fennec’s before gliding away toward the terrace. She was sorry her sister wouldn’t be able to see the splendor of the sunrise, though surely she could still feel it.

Thinking about her sister’s blindness earned a sideways glance from Meerkat as she found herself saying, Can I tell you a secret? Something nobody knows about me. Not mom. Not dad. Not even Njord.

Go for it. She’d started off at Meerkat’s guiding and was picking her way alongside, albeit a little slower. She knew it took time for someone to get used to accommodating her in their leading.

She almost cracked a joke about blackmail but waited to hear the nature of the secret first. She wanted this trip to go well after all!

I don’t know why I’ve never told anybody this, it’s nothing huge, Meerkat said as soon as her sister told her to, “Go for it.” But I was just thinking about… She hesitated, though only for a beat. I was wondering how you experience sunrise. I’ve always heard that the other senses get stronger to compensate for the lost one, though I don’t know if that’s true at all. And how could we know, especially if we were born this way? I’m half-deaf but I don’t think my other senses are more powerful than usual. It’s just the one ear, though.

Wow, she was babbling! Meerkat smiled sheepishly, which of course Fen wouldn’t notice. She butted her head apologetically against her sister’s shoulder, just hoping she hadn’t put her foot in her mouth, to boot.

Fennec laughed quietly at that, brief but sincere. I don’t think anything gets more powerful, she admitted, still amused at the thought of super senses. I think I just have to notice things differently. I can feel the air warm up, and the sun on my fur. But really, the best way to tell is the birds. They always started getting loud around sunrise.

Sort of like mom, then? She seemed to miss less of what Fennec said, which was nice, but she did say half-deaf. It was hard to imagine even that though. She relied on her ears so much for the placement of sounds.

Fennec didn’t seem to mind one bit. She indulged Meerkat’s curiosity, the mention of birds making her aware of the cacophony all over again. They really were loud at this time of day. The early bird gets the worm and all that, she mused.

Yeah, she replied. I’ve never even told her. Like I said, I don’t even know why. I don’t think anyone could even tell, unless I told them.

She wasn’t entirely sure why she was telling Fennec about it now, except she supposed it felt like something sisters should do: relate to each other and share secrets. Meerkat didn’t regret telling her and wouldn’t even care if Fen told anyone, though she liked to think it was safe with her.

Anyway, it’s a totally different ballgame for mom. And for you, Meerkat acknowledged as they moseyed along. As I’m sure you can tell, this place is pretty, well… plain. Was that a dad joke? Should we head to the quarry?

Long ago, Meerkat had helped an injured Fennec out of a canyon: the same canyon she had gone on to live in with Mereo. Based on that information alone, she was confident her sister could safely navigate such terrain. But Fen could let her know, one way or the other.

As long as they walked, Fennec had enough innate sense (from years of experience) to avoid most obstacles. It was only when she sped up that things became a problem, but fortunately, her sister seemed content to take things at her pace. Fennec rarely found someone who wasn’t and found herself taking it for granted most of the time. She barely thought about it anymore.

I can’t tell. Mom’s different, I have to make sure I’m facing the right direction and sometimes it’s hard to judge when to talk and when to wait. So she misses things. I haven’t noticed that with you. Fennec smirked. So if I end up doing something wrong, let me know. It was mostly a joke; it didn’t sound like Meerkat needed accommodating.

She followed a bit longer, towards the quarry, thinking. Then she huffed out a small laugh, letting the distraction fall away. Why the hell not? Sisters, and all.

Feels unfair, letting me have the one-up on you. You need a secret too, I think. Mom knows about everything, but let me think… She considered it a moment. Towhee knew about Fig, knew about her marriages and heartbreaks. But she didn’t know about the plans she’d made and broken, time and time again.

I’ve always wanted to claim a spot of my own. Pack or no pack, just some place where I can have a garden that lasts and a family. Where I decide if we stay or go. I always kind of wanted the Bramblepoint for it, but I don’t think I could stand being so close to Bronco, or get away with avoiding him if I did. I figured, telling mom… you know how she gets. She’d probably try to claim it for me. Fennec snorted at the joke (which was really only half a joke). She loved her mom dearly, but she was intense when it came to the things her family wanted.

Now you’ve got something on me, in case I ever let it slip. Similar levels too. It wouldn’t be a huge deal if Towhee found out, she just preferred to play her wants close to the chest. She didn’t want to feel pressed into making a move she wasn’t ready for, and she didn’t know if she ever would be ready to approach that one.

It was rather obvious, though Meerkat had never really give it any real thought: Fennec wouldn’t know the first thing about Ptero. Her lips parted as she really thought this through for once. She was genuinely inspired by how well her mother and sister navigated their respective disabilities. They were some of the most powerful women she knew. What was wildly more impressive was the fact that they managed to communicate effectively, particularly with each other!

You know, you’re lucky in a way. You don’t have to deal with mom’s disappointment that you’ve forgotten most of your Ptero… Meerkat quipped, laughing.

She fell quiet when Fennec decided to offer up a secret of her own. Her spine stiffened as she stood at attention, immensely curious what her sister was about to share with her. When it came out, she listened without interruption. An actual cackle slipped out of her mouth when Fen implied they now had dirt on one another to use as leverage.

I don’t mean this in a gung-ho! way or anything, just genuine curiosity: what’s stopping you? I mean, I understand why you wouldn’t want Bramblepoint, Meerkat said, thinking of Towhee’s recent campsites and other viable options nearby.

Fennec laughed a small laugh, this one a little less genuine. Still, her smile was easy as she nonchalantly flicked an ear. Because no one will come. And I decided a long time ago that I don’t want to live alone. You might remember last time I tried didn’t end well. She remembered Meerkat’s rescue of her just as much as her sister likely did.

She wasn’t the most personable of wolves, and last time she tried, everyone left the instant Bronco did. They were clearly there for him, not her, and this time Towhee (and the others) had understandably refused.

It wasn’t in the cards for her to lead. I don’t think I have whatever it is someone needs, to get that kind of respect. And maybe that’s fine, if I’d have to change to get it. My track record is pretty grim, anyway.

Mereo her most recent casualty. No one had fought to keep the pack after the changes she’d made. And no one had bothered to try and find out what she was doing next. In the end she’d left just as little impact there as she was here, and here she wasn’t even trying.

Between her counseling background and her desire to bond with Fennec, Meerkat was tempted to rebuff her sister’s self-deprecating remarks. She bit her tongue. Instead, she replayed the other woman’s words in her head, trying to glean the proper response.

You shouldn’t have to change for anyone or anything, you’re right, Meerkat said. I don’t know what that secret ingredient is but I don’t think I have it, either. Nobody’s ever asked me to lead and… She trailed off for a long pause. I was going to say, I don’t even want leadership. For a long time, I really wasn’t that interested. But I’m older and more experienced now. It might be nice to be asked.

She caught herself staring off toward the quarry, eyes glazed, and snapped out of it to say, Wow, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make that all about myself. I just feel you on some of that. Anyway, I won’t breathe a word of it to anyone, especially mom, she finished, a soft smile in her voice.

So, she prompted a few beats later, quarry?

Fennec listened, relating on some level. She’d been asked, but only ever as a sort of natural progression to relationships or by Towhee. And while she loved her mom, she wasn’t sure she’d ever been seen as a proper second to her. Every time she’d stepped into leadership it was because she had initiated it, not because the other wolf had approached her.

I’ve been leadership a few times and have always asked to be there. But the packs never last long after that, and every time everyone leaves. They either followed mom, followed Bronco, or followed Germanicus. She sighed, then flicked her tail.

Quarry. Lead the way. A knowing smile accompanied that. For what it’s worth, I would make you a second in a heartbeat. I’d be surprised if Sialuk doesn’t eventually. She had no desire to go for any kind of rank in Moonspear.

After a pause, she continued. Thanks, though. That’s not even the real secret though, for mom… the real secret is that there’s a reason I hid the Emberwood from her, when we first started making it. I guess I felt like if she was around, no one would ever follow me instead, and the pack would become hers. I meant to tell her, once I knew that I could do it myself, but… well. It kind of went down in flames, and there didn’t feel like a point afterwards. Killer really wanted her to come with us, so this time I offered, but I can’t say I don’t still feel that way. I don’t want her to think it’s a bad thing that she’s a boss bitch. I just don’t get how she does it.

Sharing like this was nice and a little like opening a floodgate. She had never told anyone about that little hang up, not even Fig or Killdeer, and she didn’t recall if she’d discussed it with Bronco either at the time. It had felt like such a personal and petty thing to feel, and she’d been guilty over it constantly, but she didn’t think she’d have made a different decision today. Not unless she could see, somehow, how pointless the entire thing would be in the end.

That one I don’t mind her knowing, if she ever wonders. She’s never asked, so I never bothered, but we should probably talk about it if I ever want to learn her secret. Maybe you could get some hints too, at least on how to be offered the job and turn it down like a badass. She could definitely see the appeal in that. What a power move.

Fennec gave her the verbal green light, so Meerkat began walking in that direction. Her sister kept talking, meanwhile, and she was happy to listen as they moved along toward their destination. Had she known Fennec had tried to make her own pack? Had Bronco been part of that? Even after all this time, Meerkat felt an echoing twinge of jealousy, though this time, she could at least brush it aside.

Mom’s definitely got something special, Meerkat concurred, then mused, I wonder if she’d even be able to tell us what it is, if we asked? But you’re right, she’s a tough act to follow. That reminds me, I told her to consider joining Moonspear. I have no idea if she’s even considering it…

But she wanted to give her sister the heads up. She wondered whether Fennec liked that idea too—if she’d maybe said the same thing to Towhee—or if she would prefer their mother’s overly large shadow to stay off the mountain. Meerkat’s lips pursed thoughtfully.

We’re approaching the quarry’s edge now, she cautioned. Do you want to try going down into it? I’m fine with just staying up here and checking it out from the edge. You can walk on my far side. I won’t let you fall in.

That was a good point, but Fennec wondered if it still wasn’t worth a conversation. Even if just so that her mom could tell her how stupid she was being about the whole thing and set her doubts to rest on it.

Killdeer would like that. She would too, but her son was foremost in her mind with a fond smile. Fennec still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have been happier with Caracal, and she still had mixed feelings about his coming regardless. But having her mom here would do a lot to counter that. Circumstances suck, though. She wouldn’t harp on that right now. There was a lot she could say on shitty relationship deals.

I can follow you down if there’s a path, but not so much if it involves jumping. I could if I needed to, maybe, but we don’t really need to. One canyon rescue should probably be my limit. That fall had been the fault of hunting but it still made her way more wary of high places. Before that she might have done it just to prove she could.

I’m not too worried about falling. Now that she knew the edge was nearby she’d walk carefully and subtly test every step. She did the same on the mountain, and would do the same if they climbed down. Balance and vertigo were never a problem - as long as she had ground beneath her paws, she had nothing to fear.

Yeah, Meerkat agreed with a frown. Njord left and came back, though he told us where he was going and why. He was just delayed on his return, which was an oversimplification but not the point of sharing this anecdote. So I feel like I can’t reassure her that Maxim will return. Mom seems pretty convinced he’s dead, that basically nothing short of death would take and keep him away…

Was there a path? Meerkat approached the quarry’s edge carefully to peer down into it. The first thing she noticed was that it was steep. Even with two working eyes, it made her wary. She scanned from left to right, identifying a couple footpaths that led down to pools of water far below. It would be nice to go down there and explore, though she hesitated.

Okay, maybe you’re not worried about falling, Meerkat said, scooting back a bit and bumping gently against Fennec, but I am. There are paths but they’re very narrow and steep. I don’t think I’m prepared for that, she admitted, an apology in her voice. Maybe we can just sit and talk some more? I kinda wish I’d thought to bring some food for a little picnic…

No problem. Fennec took a step back in the direction Meerkat had, testing the ground before she sat down and rolled her shoulders to loosen them after the walk. It hadn’t been a long one but Fennec still wasn’t quite used to the elevated paths of the mountains.

Maybe we can grab something when we get back. She’d let Meerkat confirm that, but for now she let out a small sigh and tipped her head back, enjoying the sun and still thinking about her mom’s predicament and Meerkat’s words. Her and Njord had the happy ending, apparently.

Even if he comes back, he might not come back to stay. She said after a moment, giving Meerkat space to respond to the food statement. Bronco didn’t, after he disappeared. He didn’t agree to stick around until I told him he either needed to stay, and let us face things together, or leave and let Killdeer forget about him. I didn’t think anything but death would keep him away from us, but when “trying to protect us” meant abandoning us, he didn’t think twice. Or trust that we might want the choice to protect him. Well, shit. She didn’t really mean to go on a Bronco tirade with her sister, but so much of this came to mind when she considered Towhee’s situation. I’m probably not the best to give her advice either, because I’d tell her it doesn’t matter if he’s dead. He left without saying anything. That’s usually worse.

She would know. She’d been on both ends of it and it didn’t matter how many reasons you felt like you had, it was shitty and you knew you were hurting the ones you left. Maybe he had a good reason. Probably he didn’t. It only mattered if he ever came back.

It turned out Fennec could relate to their mother’s plight even more deeply than Meerkat realized. Her jaw tightened as she listened to her sister’s story. To this day, she still had no clue what had happened to Bronco. She knew it must’ve been something terrible, to have exploded his life’s, as well as Fennec’s and Killdeer’s.

She didn’t say this but I get the impression she wouldn’t exactly welcome Maxim back easily if he did turn up again, Meerkat said. I’m sorry you can relate. Even though Njord left of his own volition, it wasn’t easy dealing with his absence, especially when it went on a lot longer than he intended. I had no idea what was keeping him and he was missing out on his kids’ lives. I was actually starting to get over him when he turned up again, which is crazy to think about now…

And truth be told, she didn’t want to think about it much. Meerkat shook her head lightly. She didn’t mind if Fennec needed to unload on her—she was a therapist, after all!—but Meerkat didn’t want to dwell on her own triggering memories of yore. And maybe her sister wouldn’t mind changing the subject to something a bit lighter?

On the topic of grabbing something when we head back, I was hoping you’d join my family for dinner tonight. And now that we’ve talked, I can’t help but think… She paused, mulling. Where do you sleep? Do you have a ulaq? If you don’t, maybe you could think about building one near ours. Only if you want, though. We’d like having you close and, well, I know it’s not what you meant before. But you wouldn’t have to be alone.

Fennec was happy to let the subject die with Meerkat’s final sentiments. She had already hashed her issues out with Towhee and put the subject of her first mateship to rest more than a year ago. The anger wasn’t gone, but the regret was, and that had been the thing poisoning her through the ordeal. Everything got easier when she realized and accepted that nothing she could have possibly done would have ever been enough. She hoped that their mom at least found that much closure.

Small mercy, that Germanicus told me he was in love with someone else before we had kids. I didn’t have to though everything twice. She snorted, then let out a breath and followed the conversation into easier topics.

Well, somewhat easier. I’ve just been staying… around. No real place. It wasn’t a lie. She was loving this conversation with her sister, but after the heavy relationship talk they’d already had, she really didn’t want to get into her and Penn’s dynamic. That was an entire other shitshow of history. One she really needed to take on with Penn, as soon as she figured out what the fuck she wanted the final goal to be. And as soon as she was convinced he wasn’t going to shut her out again.

That’s a really nice offer. Is there a place? Maybe she should. She still didn’t want to put down roots here too firmly, but Meerkat and her family were something stable in her life besides Towhee and Killdeer. A lifeline she could depend on was worth everything to her, and if she carved out a place, she could stay there with @Killdeer. Maybe even invite @Penn, if he didn’t prefer staying alone. He could always say no.

I think I’d really like that. Enough to be a little emotional, actually, at the offer.

Fennec’s closing comment certainly plucked at Meerkat’s curiosity—she’d been involved with the leader of Mereo?!—but by unspoken mutual agreement, the sisters let the matter of past heartaches come to rest. And what came next was distracting enough that it quelled any temptation to raise it from the dead.

I can think of a few potential spots off the top of my head but we can make another day of it? What sorts of features do you like in a den? Meerkat asked enthusiastically, making no effort whatsoever to disguise how thrilled she was that Fen had essentially accepted her offer.

I don’t think she’s really talked about Germanicus at length with anyone but towhee, so you are good as long as you are assuming she didn’t spill!

Forested, but relatively clear. Not too overgrown. Fennec inadvertently recalled the den she shared with Germanicus for such a short time. If she could have plucked it up and taken it with her she would have. It had been perfect in every way.

Then her smile turned a little devious. Maybe near the memorials. Even ghosts need friends, right? She didn’t know any of the individuals in the place but it had been pointed out to her in the various tours she’d been given. She had no idea what it was like outside of ‘stony’ but the forest near it was also near Meerkat. It was likely inappropriate, but Fennec had always played with the idea of living in a haunted place. Ghosts and witches were similar kind.

In reality, I don’t need much. Just room to share, just in case. Meerkat’s enthusiasm was both catching and a clear indication nothing about this was an empty offer. She’d made the right decision in agreeing and that warmed her. Things were maybe going to actually be okay.

It wouldn’t be at all difficult to find a ulaq that fit Fennec’s first criteria: forested. And then she brought up the idea of living near the memorials. This really narrowed down the list forming in Meerkat’s mind. It didn’t strike her as strange that her sister would want to live near the cairns, even if the mention of ghosts made her smile a little sadly.

My son, Narwhal, is buried there. I like the thought that you could keep one another company, Meerkat said softly. I know of the perfect place, right near his grave. It’s similar to ours, although the tree is growing next to the entrance rather than being integrated into it. The door is kind of low and narrow, with some rocks right in the mouth, so getting inside will be a bit tricky. I’m sure you’d get used to it really fast, though. I can show you, after we eat?

You don’t have to use this, of course, but it inspired the description. :)

Sure. Fennec was open to the idea, though a low entrance wasn’t ideal. She could attempt to dig it out and make it larger perhaps, or find a spot nearby to make something of her own a little more suited. I’ll take a look. She cracked a knowing grin at the wording, but it really would be good to get a feel for a few places before she decided.

Just because she chose an ulaq didn’t mean she was settling in here. She’d left plenty of dens behind and each and every time, the garden was harder.

Meerkat didn’t even think twice about Fennec’s phrasing until her sister smirked. Then she snorted loudly through her nose, which made her mouth fall open on a laugh.

Sounds like a plan! Ready to head back then?

She supposed the exploration had been a bit of a bust but Meerkat—and Fen too, she imagined—had gotten so much more out of this than she’d expected. She was eager to go back to her ulaq, share a meal with @Njord, @Orca II and @Seal, then finish the day by finding Fennec the perfect digs nearby. And she’d get to pay Narwhal a visit, to boot.

Today was a very good day.

Sure, let’s do it. She’d poke around the den a bit, but likely do some of her own searching too. She preferred something taller and earthy, something she could easily get in and out of and maneuver in, in case something tried to pen her in. Call her paranoid, but it was definitely something she considered.

She ended the day, however, feeling ten times better than when she’d started out. Having dinner with their family, and spending time with someone other than Killer and Penn, was a novelty. The good mood would last all night, carrying her through into the next morning with a slight, but new, appreciation for her new home she hadn’t carried before. Maybe it would be alright here.