Noctisardor Bypass mucho mambo (sway)

She had taken to thinking of herself and @Heda as den mothers, which was apt considering she could barely leave their den in Dawnleaf. The bouts of vomiting continued, to the point where she knew she was malnourished. Druid had never known such fatigue as this. It was extremely worrisome.

Most of her concern was directed toward her unborn pups. Would they make it to term? Druid did the best she could to take in nutrients via @Glaukos’s exhaustive hunting efforts, though it was difficult to keep anything down. She made sure to rest as much as possible.

No more did she hunt or patrol. Druid hated to languish, especially so soon after the pack’s establishment, but she told herself she just needed to take it easy until her due date. It would all be over then, one way or the other.

And mark my words, she murmured in the general direction of her baby bump, so much more pronounced for her emaciation, I will never do this again. So make it worth my while, okay?

Druid smiled thinly, sighing as she leaned her shoulder against the threshold of the den.

tags for ref! and sorry for text wall!

the frequent, demanding illness suffered by her sister forced a strange sense of guilt into heda. she had passed from her own illness into equilibrium and softly her own slight flanks were starting to swell.
heda was never far from druid, instructing @Ava Amara and @Dinah to hunt for their aunt as well. @John was gone away, but each day heda had prayed for him at dawn and dusk.
her faith had become her own; no more did she preach. and yet the whispered words were clutched to heart as a talisman, a tome, a rosary.
heda needed god, even as she understood she must transmute her worship into silence. maybe her daughters did not have the same necessity, but heda did not think she could exist without it.
in dawnleaf, the pale bird butchered the beaver she had managed to catch after long hours beside the icy lagoon. there was a lump of fat above the tail that she felt could be more appealing to her sister, and perhaps easier to keep down. medicine was not something she knew, though heda understood the use of such basics as mint and lavender, and offered the former from time to time. 
caching the remains of the beaver and re-entering their den, heda inhaled. with a pang she saw again how thin druid had become, and a thin stab of fear pierced her gut. pressing herself close to her sister for a moment, heda brought the round piece of warm fat close, pushed toward druid on a piece of bark. "do you think you could eat that?"

Druid favored Heda with a weary smile, her nose twitching with interest at her offerings even before her fellow den mother presented them. She sat up a little straighter, slipping her muzzle against Heda’s pale cheek before bending over the proverbial dinner plate.

I can certainly try, she said with cheerful bravado, easing slowly onto the ground with her weight hitched to one side. When this first started—the nausea, I mean—I’d often lose my appetite. But now I’m ravenous all the time. It’s just a matter of keeping it down…

Her lips pursed for a moment, then she dipped to pluck her first bite off the wooden platter. Her teeth sank right through the fatty cut of meat, coating her lips and the inside of her mouth. The flavor was incredible. Druid wondered if her sense of taste was heightened.

Thank you, she remembered to say between bites. How are you feeling?

heda nodded. "i remember. i was so sick the first time. but this time i'm — i don't know. it's not as bad. i'm still sick, still throw up, but i have more and more energy." it felt like bragging to admit that, and though she didn't think druid would take it that way, she was still worried.
"hey," heda said after watching her sister take a few more bites. "if you don't start feeling better, i think someone should go for etienne," she suggested, though it was clear that this was more of a desire than anything.
folding down, she yawned a little, keeping instinctive watch beyond the denmouth.

I’m glad, Druid said genuinely. I didn’t know it could be like this, she admitted in the next breath. I don’t think I’ll ever want to go through it again, though perhaps I’ll change my mind once they’re here. I never really imagined myself as a mother to begin with, so all of this is as unexpected as it is uncharted territory. But I’m glad you’re here to help me navigate it.

She continued feeding in silence for a few beats. Druid wanted to scarf down the meat but she took slow, measured bites in the hope that it would help with her digestion. Often she had to pause anyway to lick the delicious grease clinging to her lips.

Who could go? she mused in response to Heda’s suggestion. I think it’s a good idea. In fact, I haven’t wanted to worry any of you, but I’m starting to get very worried, myself. I would love to know if there’s anything Etienne can think of to help. As much as I never planned for these pups, I want them to get here safely. And I want to make sure I’m able to mother them when they do.

"glaukos," heda said at last. "but i would be faster. plus, they know me there. he can be very intimidating," she joked a bit, trying to keep the atmosphere even, if only so druid could breathe for a moment. "i want you to be as strong as possible. if he can't stay, i'll find someone else, all right?"
she was here for a reason; god had brought the sisters together for such a time as this.
secretly heda worried that when her own time came to be bedridden, druid would have less support. glaukos, even with all his skill, could not hunt for the demands of two nursing mothers, though the red-nape intended to share as much of her own milk as possible.

If Glaukos went, who would be there to hunt for them? Protect them? Patrol their borders? She didn’t like the idea of Heda going any better. Druid frowned, contemplating. She wished John would return, though it wasn’t really fair to send him right back out. He wasn’t their errand boy.

But Druid didn’t say anything about any of that. She was stuck on her own words. What if the worst came to pass? What if her puppies didn’t make it to term? What if they did but she didn’t make it? Did she have the strength to survive childbirth?

Heda, will you promise me something? I’m going to do everything I can to look after myself and the pups. But just in case anything happens to me, Druid said heavily, will you look after them for me?

fear leapt through her muscles and then into her eyes; her jaw tensed, and rapid blinking slowed the goaded heart. "of course i will, druid," heda whispered, stunned, shocked, nauseated; she pulled her sister into a careful embrace.
was it really that bad? was druid going to —
she was already thinking about it?
she fought her panic, her tears. "don't ever worry about that. we're going to put all that energy into you, okay? we have to."

It was such an enormous ask, though Heda answered as readily as Druid asked. Shakily, Druid nodded at her sister’s words. She was grateful and relieved, though she knew she must be frightening Heda.

I swear I’m going to do everything in my power to pull through this to the other side, she repeated, resting her head in the crook of a pale shoulder. I’m not giving up. Nowhere close. I just…

Well, she sensed Heda understood. She took a couple breaths. Her meal was still sitting well, for now. Actually, her stomach felt pleasantly full. It made her want to curl up and nap, although that was probably the chronic exhaustion. Druid swallowed a sigh.

Have you thought of names yet? she questioned, settling back against the den door once more.

"oh, no, i haven't even processed the fact that i'm pregnant," heda laughed, then a little harder at her own expense. and when she finished, one thin wrist came to rest over the swell of her belly as she sat down opposite her sister. "i'll know when they get here, i think," heda murmured, then settled her focus back on her sister.
"you need to rest. and eat. and just lie there. i'll even change bedpans," the red-nape declared boldly, hoping to elicit a laugh from druid herself. "just put every day into that. we've got the rest."

Heda didn’t seem concerned about naming them, though her response was less dismissive than Glaukos’s. Druid supposed it made sense to meet them first. The thought made her lips twitch, then she most certainly laughed at her sister’s joke about bedpans.

I solemnly swear not to soil myself, she deadpanned. More softly, she said, I think I can manage that, two-toned eyes holding Heda’s gaze firmly. I’m so glad you’re here with me for all of this, even if it’s been—what’s the opposite of a fairy tale? she quipped rhetorically.

She heeded Heda’s words then. Druid eased onto the ground and stopped resisting the urge to curl into a ball. It was a little difficult, considering she was a ball right now, but she did her best to rest and just lie there.

"what's the opposite of a fairy?" heda quipped back, her mouth brightening with a laugh in spite of it all, in spite of everything indeed. "and i'm glad i've been here too." truth be told, it was good to take care of someone, to give her something physical and mental to do each day.
so long as her mind was occupied, grief could not take the place of work.
when druid decided to lie as they were, heda wrapped her warmly in an embrace and licked the top of her sister's head, humming a snippet of a hymn as she moved quickly toward semi-sleep.