Hushed Willows we used to be close but people can go from people you know to people you don’t

And with a few wroth words, they were pariahs.

Although Meerkat would never take for granted the care Sapphique showed @Swordfish, she wished with all her heart they could just leave now. Seemingly without compunction, it felt like some of the most important wolves in her life had turned their backs on her (them) and it was, in a word, devastating.

Knowing they would look after him in spite of everything, she tore herself from his side only because she needed to go somewhere, anywhere else. And though she wasn’t angry with @Njord, she didn’t want to go crying to him. There was enough on his shoulders without layering on guilt.

She had been through so much in her nearly three years, though Meerkat could not recall ever bawling so hard or so loudly, her belly clenching and unclenching with the sheer force of her misery as sobs tore out of her. Hidden by the tickling tendrils of a willow, she bent over double, clutching at her broken heart.

lestan had found another herd, and had swiftly named all its inhabitants. spice, a doe named for her dark mask. another he chose to call rosemary, an older female with white stippled along her withers. a third doe lestan chose to call sunflower for her striking and odd yellow eyes.
their leader was a grand stag in his very prime, who had fought wars in the autumn and kept control of his herd. the mayfair had dubbed him monstro.
spice and rosemary were pregnant, the tracker noted to himself, due in a few months. monstro knew that a wolf tagged behind, and watched lestan with open mistrust. but he was one and they were many. the swiftcurrent dweller did not make eye contact, nor did he signal any interest in hunting.
he was far from home by now but time was a concept weakest with him in his best moments.
eventually the deer bounded away, and sputtering, lestan scrambled up from where he had been tail in the air bent over a patch of odd blue mushrooms! he ran after them, trying to hold back so that it would not seem as if he was actually chasing them.
but monstro was enraged. lestan shrieked in fear and flattened into a dead sprint as the massive beast bellowed and charged him, sending the wolf slamming to a halt.
he tumbled from a sandy ridge, and rolled into shale, and landed with a thump and an oof facedown into a springy bed of moss beneath a fetching willow. when he raised his head and tried to focus his eyes, a weeping woman swam in two places and then became one. or maybe she wasn't, maybe he had only misheard.
"hello," he said quite poshly despite his splatting against the ground beneath her willow tree.

it wasn't val's intention to fall in-step with meerkat's tracks, yet they wound away from the roja den and well beyond the reach. perhaps she was finally getting a chance to stretch her legs or go on the much anticipated walk she mentioned. val found himself trailing a distance after her, mindful of the bears in the hinterlands and thinking they'd be better served in pairs.

if he was lucky, maybe she would want to hunt -- and he could put to ease his guilt for the blunder he'd experienced with her the other day. it seemed today hunting was not on the agenda -- val rounded a drooping willow and there saw and heard meerkat's hunched form.

he felt unspeakably impolite to intrude while she was clearly crying -- but any qualms he had about the matter would have to wait. there was a scream, a crash as something tumbled in the underbrush, and suddenly, there in front of meerkat a lean creature supplanted with eyes the color of cornflower blue.

breathless and quiet on edge, val crept close yet did not intervene.

It hurt so, so much. She had come to these shores more than a year ago to build her life with Njord and it was as though none of it meant anything now. Of course she knew there were complexities and nuances, particularly with Njord, but it felt like she had never mattered. And it was truly a gut-wrenching feeling.

Then the sadness began twisting into something else. She was quite likely pregnant. The thing she had wanted most was now a source of abject fear. Would they be able to make a home and support these unborn children? She still wanted them, fiercely, but she needed to make sure they were happy, healthy and safe.

Her sides ached with the relentless weeping. She gulped in a breath, tried to put a stop to the paroxysms. Meerkat didn’t have the remotest inkling of either man’s approach until one literally seemed to fall from the sky at her feet, startling the woman into looking up and seeing them both.

She must be quite the spectacle, her eyes swollen, every facial orifice leaking. What must Val in particular think of her right now? Had he come here to berate her too? She choked out another low wail.

oh goodness! goodness "gracious!" lestan finished under his breath. his head throbbed a little but he forgot it immediately as the low sound of pain broke from the woman.
"ah —" the mayfair cleared his throat. "miss, are you hurt?" he did not come closer; he crouched lower to the ground as if to assure he he would not.
gingerly he looked about for any sign of the pack that was close, given the scent in the small space. "i'm lestan, and i — well," he glanced up at the canopy, decided he didn't yet want to brave the potential that monstro was looking for him. "i'm a very good listener, i-if you're not hurt, just uhum.." he finished his sentence with a weak smile.

meerkat realized she had an audience. val's stomach sank for her, knowing she'd likely wished to be alone and now was forced with entertaining two unexpected guests. when her teary gaze met his he almost spoke, but refrained -- for the new wail that set up against the trees nearly caused his own heart to fragment with sympathy.

he knew meerkat wasn't hurt physically -- at least not outwardly -- so he remained silent as lestan fumbled over what to say. val still did not know what to make of this roughshod creature, but rather than chase him away he elected to watch, setting down upon his heels to signify he too was there to listen.

The stranger was the first to speak. Meerkat looked at him blearily, suddenly realizing just how vulnerable she was right now. She was outnumbered by men who might not have the friendliest of intentions. Furthermore, there was a bear out there somewhere with a taste for her family’s blood.

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and tried to blink her vision clear, watery gaze sweeping to Val and back to the swarthy man with eyes that reminded her of her older son. He asked her if she was hurt, then offered a name and a listening ear.

Yes, she wanted to say, I’m hurting. But that much was painfully obvious.

No, Meerkat mumbled, thank you… but… She sighed, then hiccuped before completing her thought. There’s nothing anyone can do, she said quietly, looking away, eyes downcast.

the other man did not speak. the woman declined. lestan nodded and leaned back against the tree. "well, if it's all the same to you, to both of you, i'd like to stay. got myself into a little trouble out there with a big deer. i was following his herd, not to hunt, just to count. we had an understanding, you see," lestan trailed off with a coughing laugh as he realized he was rambling.
and so somberly he only looked out at the rain.

val could sense something deeply amiss. he wanted to offer some sort of balm, an apology, anything to chase away the sadness that darkened meerkat’s face; but what could he do?

nothing.

he set back on his heels, watching as the stranger leaned against the tree and began to explain how he’d managed to tumble into them. he didn’t know understandings could be brooked with herds, but it was not the most fantastical thing val had ever heard.

the conversation petered off, leaving all parties studying the rain. val broke the silence with an introduction aimed towards their new acquaintance. val. his gaze inquired — who are you?

Thank you both for dropping in here (literally, lmao). This’ll be my last post.

Her mind suddenly turned to the burrow they’d shared that first night; the den they’d filled with their family; and all the places on the shore they enjoyed. Tears brimmed and oozed, silently now. She was exhausted and, besides that, painfully conscious of her audience.

She glanced up between sticky eyelids and saw they were both just sitting there. They weren’t harming her, yet they couldn’t help her either. And Meerkat didn’t want to suffer this grief in front of two men, one she barely knew and the other she knew not at all.

Sniffing, she turned away and stepped out from beneath the willow. It was raining. She hadn’t even noticed. Meerkat tipped her head toward it, icy droplets washing the warm saltwater from her face. She thought about going home—which was Njord and her sons, now, more than a geographical location—but for now, she slunk further into Hushed Willows to let this lament finish running its course.

"lestan mayfair, of swiftcurrent —" his voice trailed off as the woman rose and moved deeper into the willows.
shame burned up his downy cheeks. he set back more uncomfortably against the tree.
"i could talk your ear off. or we could simply sit here. that's for the best," he decided just as quickly, wanting to give the poor woman a break from exacerbating whatever was causing all the tears.

there wasn’t anything val could say in that moment that would make things better. he watched in silence as meerkat excused herself, hearing lestan’s voice trail off in the distance.

he wouldn’t follow — if she wanted to be alone so be it. val rose and directed his attention to the slouched figure under the tree. perhaps you and i should go find a meal. val invited, planning to quarter whatever he caught to give to meerkat later.

can fade! <3

the mayfair knew when his welcome had been worn out. he scrambled up sheepishly to join the sea-wolf, glancing with a little chagrin in the direction the woman had gone.
poor soul.
lestan stayed beside val.

it's not your fault. val reassured. it was all he would say on the matter.

together the two found a scent still fresh. not doe, not bobcat, but something easier. a woodchuck. val motioned for lestan to follow, and the pair slunk off into the thicket with their eyes trained on the task ahead.