Swiftcurrent Creek [m] hope ur okay

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@Arric and @Mae were on the mend, which meant that Eshe found some time to herself.  She’d realized this as she meandered around the creek like a zombie, and stopped mid-step as she had her “eureka!” moment.

In the wake of her realization, everything else that she’s foregone in their care came rushing back: concern about @Akavir and how he fared—especially since she hadn’t been great to be around, about @Cygnet’s recovery and develops ent we’re going, and the hole in her heart that yearned for the baby,  and @Wren, who had been in @Silvertongue’s care. There were the superficial worries, too,  like her coat, which was unkempt and had lost its sheen, the way she hasn’t bathed for a few days, and ultimately the sheer exhaustion of it all.

She’d hit her limit long ago, but had somehow pushed through.

She reclined, eyes wide and teary as she lost herself in her thoughts, her eyes glued to the floor as she slumped over.  There was so much she had to address and tend to, but she felt like she couldn’t. It was all too much for her—right now, all she felt she could do was sit in it and let it consume her.

A lot.

It was all that could truly be said for the days that had blended to weeks—it had all been a lot. Wren healed from the attack, Arric was bedridden from sickness—Jakub remained missing, and now Nicodem. Mae was flighty at best—yet at six months, he could do little to reign them in compared to how he used to.

And still, the haunted look of pain and dismissal Silvertongue had given him made it’s appearance from time to time in the moments he did sleep—exhaustion had won.

So when he sought out Eshe, realizing only now the two had barely made time for one another—he berated himself once more for dropping the ball. For never being enough.

And when he found her slumped to the floor, worry blossomed in his chest, constricting him, but he was to her side swiftly, nosing at her. “Eshe,” he murmured, struck now by the unfallen tears that flooded her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Eshe simultaneously felt relieved and embarrassed. She was glad that Akavir was here, but she hated that he always saw her like this. She drew a deep breath and buried her face in his chest, hiding as she tried to regain her composure.

Not to be dramatic—but pretty much everything, she answered as she shook her head and laughed. I finally got a minute to myself and I realized how much was going on… and then I got overwhelmed. She felt stupid for letting her feelings affect her so easily—for giving them that pull and power.

But I’m feeling better now that you’re here, she admitted as she pulled away and looked up at him with a tired smile. I’ve been thinking about you a lot—it stinks that we’ve been so busy.

She tucked herself into him, and without hesitation, the man pulled her as close as he could, settling himself by her, wrapping him in her as well. She laughed as she explained, and he felt his own wry smile tug at the corner of his lips, smoothing a kiss upon her brow. “I tried to warn you,” he mused, and while the words and tone were meant with humor, there was a string of dark truth to them. “We’re a pack of assholes with a lot of drama and I have a lot of…. Baggage…”

He quieted for a moment—considering his thoughts as he planted another kiss without thought to her temple, his muzzle lingering closer—craving to be closer. “Let me know if you ever need help... I need you to look after yourself, too, Eshe.”

With a smile, she nodded knowingly and placed her paw on his. You gave me plenty of warning, she assured him, watching as he fell silent.

She wondered what he was thinking about—which withheld memories and parts of himself he explored while she watched from the sidelines.

When he spoke again, her brows rose, and her lips curled coyly. Well, I'm glad you offered, she said as she stood. I've been thinking about you a lot, especially at night, and I realized we haven't had any time to ourselves. Time to do things that only they could with each other.

She paused, giving him time to read between the lines.

Oh, he could read between the lines, and as she drew from him to stand up, he instinctively followed suit, drawn to her warmth. 

I'm trying so hard to do right by you, he murmured toward her ear. You deserve so much.

And you are, she assured him; as far as she was aware, he was. You're doing a fantastic job of making me happy. I hope you know that. 

She pulled away and searched his face, wondering where that'd come from. I hope I do the same for you, she admitted, her voice quieter as she spoke of her subconscious feelings. 

I know I'm hard to love sometimes, and I appreciate your patience. Because he had been patient, kind, and, as far as she was aware, loyal to her. He was everything she'd wanted and more.

She tried to assure him—but there was a significant doubt that lingered there—for he had the distinct impression that Eshe held out for others in her aim to please, rather than be pleased. Did she speak this for her benefit, or because she simply wanted to bring him comfort?

Her words drew a frown to the brows of the man, and he tried to pull her close once more, nuzzling against her nape, his mouth still lingering close to her ear, if only to hear him… and perhaps to test their boundaries. “How in the world are you hard to love?”

I'm just... a lot, she answered. I mean, I literally just went from being overwhelmed, to horny, to … whatever I'm feeling now. She wanted to say she felt pathetic, but she knew that wouldn't be well received.  

Instead of pushing Akavir away, Eshe pulled him closer and buried her face in his neck. I've been all over the place lately, surely he'd seen it. And I'm sure it's hard to deal with—heck, I can hardly stand myself!

She curled in closer to him—she didn’t push him away. It was a subtle gesture, perhaps to her—but from a man who had been in a marriage where his wife had only pushed him away when things had gotten particularly hard, it gave him a sense of lifting hope—

— was this was how it was supposed to be?

“I mean… I can definitely help with one of those things,” he rumbled lowly, his breath playing upon her ear before he gave her a casual nip. So much for behaving himself, it seemed.

“I mean… I can definitely help with one of those things,” he offered.

A smirk tugged at the corners of her lips, and her face flushed as she looked up at him. That’s so generous of you, she teased as she kissed his chin. How’ll you help me? She had some ideas—specifically what he could do to her—but she was liking where this conversation was going, and she didn't want to cut it short.

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She flushed--an adorable reaction and peppered back a coy remark. Arching a brow, the man unfurled, pulling her closer to him as he moved to pull her closer. Nuzzling the soft wisp of her cheek, he trailed kisses to the base of her ear, tracing it with his nose. I can spell it out for you, if you'd like, he murmured, a devilish flash of a smirk tracing his lips. But it would have to be with my tongue.

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I can spell it out for you, if you'd like. But it would have to be with my tongue, Akavir said, grinning like a devil.

He was doing everything right, and she was ready for whatever he would do to her.

Eshe's expression twisted into a fiendish mien, and she reached for his paw. Alright, but I'll show you where to spell it out for me, she said, guiding him down her chest and trailing his paw lower and lower.

fade here?

Oh--he wasn't expecting that, though, and while a rare moment of shock likely passed through his usually calm facade, it was soon replaced by a throaty chuckle as his mouth descended lower to her throat--her abdomen--another smirk as he pressed onward.

He allowed her to take the lead in this moment--giving in to the physical essence she had been seeking from him upon their first meeting, ravenous for her in this moment.

Months had passed in this slow courtship-- and now he knew it unlikely he would be unable to keep his hands from her after this. He was, above all else, done for.

He deferred to her, and she led, taking her time and savoring every moment. They’d been building up to this for months, and it was finally coming to fruition; this was a day she’d remember for the rest of her life. They lost themselves for some time, tangled up in each other.

When things were said and done, she could confirm that he was everything she wanted.