Dragoncrest Cliffs if the feeling don’t fit, you’ll just have to stick with it

She knew it in her bones: this would be her final daily foray to the roja den. Her own pups weren’t quite due, yet Meerkat could scarcely walk at this point, discomfort shadowing every step. Anyway, her instincts commanded she retire to the burrow to wait, rest and prepare for her litter’s arrival.

Meerkat arrived, short of breath. She eased onto her haunches, shifting around until she was reasonably comfortable. After she caught her wind, she crooned a low note of greeting to @Erzulie, @Rosalyn, @Aminthe and @Quennell.

Ever since she and Erzulie's conversation, Rosalyn had been meaning to catch Meerkat and have a conversation with her. Njord as well, but she recognized that he would be busy, children coming and others needing provided for already present. Motherhood was a waiting game, one that required company and distraction. Fatherhood was a game of preparation.

She was not in the den when Meerkat called, but she was right next to it. The space was too suffocating as the weather grew nicer and, now that they had experienced their first foray, oftentimes the pups could be watched outside.

Meerkat. How are you? She asked, coming around the stones that lined the entrance and appraising her. She looked to be well along - it wouldn't be long now.

The others are welcome anytime.

Footsteps heralded Rosalyn’s arrival from somewhere just out of sight on the den’s far side. Meerkat sat up a little straighter, bowing her pale head to the Ruby. Her eyes cut to the den’s mouth, wondering if her wife and babes were asleep inside. Hopefully her call hadn’t disturbed them, if that was the case.

In reply to Rosalyn’s question, Meerkat pursed her lips and said, Quite uncomfortable but very happy about it? She laughed, which prompted a flurry of kicks so strong that she briefly struggled with a feeling of nausea. She was so glad her pups were active like this, yet it could be quite a lot to endure.

How are you? she questioned in return, a generic riposte but far from a platitude as her brown eyes rested on the older woman’s scarred features.

Aminthe came scampering out of the den after a few moments, excited to hear the nice lady and her mother outside. 

She jumped up against Rosalyn's leg and planted kisses there, then she turned and did the same to Meerkat. The tiny girl's eyes widened when the saw how round the woman's belly was. Big, she said, her tail wagging behind her. She wondered what Meerkat might have eaten to make her belly suddenly so large.

Rosalyn was interrupted in her response to Meerkat by Aminthe's arrival. She turned her attention to her daughter and returned her kisses with a playful nuzzle and a few of her own back. Her daughter was growing and showed an exuberance for exploring the world that was equal parts exhausting and endearing. She leaned harder into the latter, though, casting one more loving glance before answering.

That's good to hear. I wanted to ask if there was anything you needed, and thank you for everything you've done for Erzulie. That wasn't all, but with Aminthe here, she needed to be careful. Even at her age, she'd learned to repeat things. I also wanted to ask how you've settled, since the wedding. It was tactful, but there was an open-ended feeling in the way she left it to hang. Meerkat might not feel comfortable discussing the shortcomings of her children, and normally Rosalyn would have opened outright to dismiss the notion of personal feelings around it. But she couldn't in front of her daughter.

She left Aminthe's comment for Meerkat to respond to, though it did make her smile. Hopefully the young woman was ready for all that motherhood entailed.

Before it had truly begun, their conversation paused as Aminthe came bumbling from the den. Meerkat watched as the puppy nuzzled Rosalyn, her lips curving into a smile at the endearing sight. When Aminthe came to her next, the Topaz bent down to place a lick on the little girl’s brow. She straightened quickly when the pressure on her middle proved too much.

So big, she agreed with a laugh as she sat up straighter. Want to feel? Meerkat asked, gently grasping Aminthe’s tiny paw and guiding it to the swell of her side, where the unborn puppies’ movements were strong enough to be felt even from the outside now.

Rosalyn wanted to know if there was anything Meerkat needed, then thanked her. This was met with a blink, wondering what she’d done for Erzulie. Perhaps the Ruby only meant her daily visits. They were her pleasure, of course, usually the highlight of her day. She smiled softly at the acknowledgement, dipping her snout.

Not much had truly changed since the wedding, truthfully, so Meerkat said, I want for nothing. Njord is a wonderful partner, both before and after making things official, and I look forward to living out my days with him and our children. I’m so happy we’ll get to raise them here. Life wasn’t perfect in Sapphique, but she still pictured her family’s future here, on these cliffs by the sea.

Her seafoam eyes widened at the movement she felt inside the lady's round belly. What in the hell was inside her?! Could the tiny girl have something moving inside her too? The idea was absolutely terrifying. Aminthe yanked her paw back and stumbled over herself to run and hide behind her mother's front leg. She closed her eyes and pressed against the strong leg of her mom. 

What if it was already too late? What if soon she would get round and have monsters moving around inside of her? Why weren't the adults more alarmed by this?

Rosalyn felt that she believed the words, but she didn't know how true they were. Njord was surely a doting father, but as much as she hated to criticize her own children, she knew when those judgements were fair. Fortunately she did not have to worry about the youngest, however. She smiled at Aminthe's wonder.

Soon they will come out, and then you will have more friends to play with. She explained gently, noting the slight look of alarm in her daughter's expression. Eventually she would understand fully, but for now, that was perhaps enough.

I have no doubts around Njord. I'm glad you are happy here. I know that some of it has been difficult, though. And I wanted to offer my help, if you wished me to speak to any. She would probably do it regardless, but she wondered if Meerkat had insight into the situation that Rosalyn had not been able to glean. She knew that Sobo was resentful, that some of the others were too. What continued to escape her was why.

Meerkat momentarily lost track of the conversation again when Aminthe yanked her paw away and scrambled behind Rosalyn’s leg. The young mother-to-be sucked in a sharp breath, shooting the child and her mother an apologetic look. Her ears splayed a little, wondering if the Ruby would rebuke her for frightening the small child, but Rosalyn only spoke words of comfort to the youngster.

I didn’t mean to frighten you, Aminthe, I’m sorry, Meerkat said softly. Part of her wanted to explain what was happening, but she would leave that to the pups’ parents. Besides, she might be too young to understand much right now.

Rosalyn spoke again and Meerkat shot Aminthe another sheepish glance before retraining her attention on the elder. She sipped in another quiet breath when Rosalyn touched on what could only be called a sore subject. The Ruby offered to speak with those who refused to embrace herself, Njord and the foundation they were building.

Thank you for the offer, Meerkat began, though I’m cautiously optimistic that things are on an upswing in that department. She thought about Sobo’s gift, which held a place of honor in the burrow. She thought, too, of Loko’s smiling face as he commented on the wedding ceremony. Mireille had been welcoming from the start, of course, and although Coraline was a bit of a mystery, it was due in part to being sequestered.

Her brow furrowed a little as she shared, Sobo seemed upset with his da. I don’t know if they’ve spoken or cleared the air. But I hope they’re able to do that. And I hope all of your children can forgive me if I’ve upset them unintentionally. I promise I didn’t mean to, she finished, bending down a little to catch little Aminthe’s eye, smile soft.

Both women seemed to meet her fear with a tone of reassurance. Meerkat apologized and Aminthe watched her for a moment. The adults were not scared but they didn't disregard her very real fear. She realized there was likely nothing bad going on here. 

Aminthe stood and trotted back over to the nice lady. A yawn forced her back on her butt, but she was back up the second she was done. The seastar settled herself against Meerkat's belly. It was soft and warm much like bellies of her mothers. Her eyes grew heavy and then she was gone, lost to her colorful dreamland. 

She shifted onto her back after a minute or so, not waking at all.

skippable!

Ah. Rosalyn had spoken with Sobo about Njord, and now the connection snapped to place for her. It was not Meerkat that was the problem. She would not defend Njord against their ire, as she felt it was his place to correct this should he choose, but she did bridle a bit at the thought that they would drag Meerkat into it unwilling. They should know better; Njord had no claim nor debt to Erzulie and was free to mate as he wished.

I won't push, then. But I'm glad to hear it's only that. She watched Aminthe settle against Meerkat fondly. At least the new children would have no such problems. Not even Rosalyn knew who had fathered them.

But if it doesn't resolve, I may address it directly. They should know better than to punish you for what they feel he did. That conversation she'd need to have not for the good of the pack, but as a mother who wished to have children deserving of their esteem here.

You make a good pair. Whatever their issues, I think your children will be a credit to you both. She did feel for Sobo and the way he'd spoken of being left behind, but she did not blame him for this. His children with Erzulie had only ever been half his. Meerkat's would be his fully.

She took it as forgiveness when little Aminthe trotted over to her and slumped down against her pale flank. Meerkat reached down to stroke her toes ever so gently over the baby’s brow as her eyes began to drift closed. She then moved her paw to skim over her back, at least until Aminthe rolled over.

Her eyes lifted at the sound of Rosalyn’s voice. The Ruby used the word “only,” and Meerkat wished it felt as minor as that. It didn’t, not to her, but she made no remark. Rosalyn insisted she would interfere if the situation didn’t improve and Meerkat only nodded, agreeing with the latter statement the most. She was glad Sobo had apologized, that they’d made peace of a sort. It was a sign of growth and maturity and she just hoped the trend might continue.

Her lips parted at the Ruby’s final comment. Rosalyn… thank you. That means a lot, especially coming from her. I can’t tell you how happy I am that life led me here, she added, peering down at Aminthe and feeling a rush of tender affection not only for her but for the community here, even the parts of it that challenged her.

Meerkat’s eyes drifted to the roja den. She wished she could speak to Erzulie, let her know this would be her last visit as she prepared to deliver her own pups. But she was also glad she’d had this chance to speak with Rosalyn. Her eyes tracked back to the woman’s rugged face and she smiled fondly, savoring this hard-won feeling of acceptance.

I don’t want to wake her, so will you tell Erzulie I came by? And that I think I’m going to retire to the burrow until it’s time, Meerkat spoke up after a beat. Tell her she’s of course welcome any time, as are you and the little ones. She hoped they would all come by. She needed to stay off her feet and take it easy, though there would be some time yet before the delivery and she would enjoy the company.

Rosalyn nodded.  I'll let her know.  She would deliver the message when Erzulie woke.  She was actually tiring herself, and as Meerkat finished, nodded.  She would come by at times, just as Meerkat had done for Erzulie.  She wouldn't stay long, but early motherhood could be a lonely time.  She'd never spent it without her wife and she wondered if Meerkat would struggle beneath the newfound weight of it.

I'll be sure to visit.  And I'm sure Erzulie will be glad for a change of scenery every so often.  She could take over for her and watch them when she wished to visit and have a break.  There were only two this year but they were still a handful at times.

If Meerkat did not immediately leave, Rosalyn would begin to quietly start up a conversation on motherhood and what she could remember of her own (and Erzulie's) experiences. There were a few things she'd found that it might be helpful to know, tricks for quieting an unhappy child or dealing with the after effects. She was more than happy to share what she could.

vague wrap up here if you want! <3