Nova Peak If you must fight, fight with yourself and your thoughts in the night
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Ooc — Chelsie
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When the rest of Sagtannet had filtered away, Wylla remained.

Try as she might, she couldn't command her paws to move. Something ice cold and bitter kept her rooted to the spot, staring after where Taikon had gone. Her stomach writhed with disgust. That she would once again stand in front of a pack of wolves she worked tirelessly for and be fed the same scorn and contempt she had suffered as leader in Grimnismal was almost beyond believing, yet here they were.

It was entirely possible she was taking it way too personally, but how could she not when her entire life had been defined by wolves looking down on her? Kierkegaard and Caiaphas had enjoyed the safety of her reign in Grimnismal while blatantly ignoring her authority. Nyx had enjoyed the safety of Sagtannet while Wylla lost her eye in defense of it, and that had not stopped her from spewing lies. Now Taikon, who stood in front of the pack as a new initiate and met Wylla's eye because he disagreed with her fear about the cliff wolves, and the only wolf who even thought to stand by her was Stag. Not even @Mahler, who was supposed to be her equal, but treated her like his underling. None of her subordinates. It was painfully clear what they thought of her.

She swallowed bitterly. She had left Grimnismal because she could not stomach any more disrespect for her rank, and that dark feeling was welling up in her again.
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Ooc — ebony
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their meet had not gone well. mahler watched them disperse with a sour feeling growing beneath his gut. wylla had not moved from where she had gathered them.
a growing silence. in his mind, he felt that had he interjected in defense of more discussion, he would have cruelly undermined her, but in saying aught he had done the same. and so he offered no platitude nor focus upon himself; he moved closer to the vexed lines of her tense body and blinked with lavender eyes at the tight roundness of her shoulder.
loyalty could not be forced. it was a privilege mahler had enjoyed all his life; the promise of death in the very shape of his body, but he was not without sympathy for wylla's plight. "ve keep to ourselves so that ve do not have enemies. and vhen we do, ve are not all ready to stand against them."
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Ooc — Chelsie
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Mahler lingered. She wished he wouldn't. She felt so belittled and betrayed by his utter silence and the way he'd stood over her like she was some child whose temper he could intimidate away that she thought if he opened his idiot mouth, she would tear his muzzle clean off his face.

Well, open his idiot mouth he did.

Apparently humiliating her in front of the entire pack by allowing her authority to be challenged by a newcomer wasn't good enough, because now he sought to embarass her further by mansplaining what had just happened. As if she didn't know it was asking a lot. As if he hadn't witnessed Umbra's tenacity and violence for himself. Coast wolves had ruined her entire young life, and they all seemed cut from the same cloth. Caiaphas had been no different than Drageda. Possibly worse. These wolves were no different.

Ah, if only she knew Rusalka's ties to the sea witch. Then that paranoia would truly come full circle.

She looked Mahler full in the face, glaring, and felt something vital snap inside of her. One final straw. She spat, I'm leaving. Her children did not respect her, evidenced by Thade's display at what was a serious occasion. Her subordinates did not respect her, evidenced by Taikon's eye contact and questioning. Her co-leader did not respect her, evidenced by his inability to stand by her and support her. Apparently, he also thought she was a moron who needed things explained to her like a whelp. She foresaw nothing but pain and frustration in her future with Sagtannet, likely with the entire pack ridiculing her behind her back for daring to be afraid.

Mahler was right. Loyalty was earned, and she had at last found the frayed end of hers.
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Ooc — ebony
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he had meant to show wylla solidarity by meandering over the core weakness of sagtannet: having never withstood an extended conflict. even diaspora had shown teeth. sagtannet had not; they avoided conflict by relocation, and now that it was upon her doorstep the pack was not ready to rally.
wylla required decisive action; mahler wished to discuss things firsthand. the wildness of his third year was long over;  he was a tamed man. perhaps that was the extremity of their difference. 
and mahler would have liked to be compassionate as wylla snapped her last, but the moral failing of a man is that he grows defensive before logical. she was leaving, and in his mind it was due to the fact that sagtannet had questioned her rather than rallied. 
mahler's flawed decision not to react to taikon was the end of it — trust him to see it belatedly. not in this moment — a lash of his tail, the fur along his shoulders twitching but not rising to life upon their charcoal hills. he faced into the distance a moment, cold air causing scar tissue along his jawline and throat to ache. she was not happy here, had not been happy here. and subsequently, mahler had grown the same.
ironically, the arrival of taikon had sparked his gut with apprehension. was there a portion of wylla's anger reserved not in the general sense of disrespect, but for the other male himself? a personal affront attached to the name? he allowed himself to toy darkly with the idea a long, self-indulgent moment, then cast it aside. no. wylla had no heartfelt aspersions as mahler suspected; it was the man's flout and his own 
why would you order sagtannet to battle and then abandon them? grit another thought into his mind. 
he did not know how to answer in a way that mattered.
"vell. you did tell me that you deserved better."
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Ooc — Chelsie
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Ah, spite. Her oldest and dearest friend.

It was shaped weirdly coming from his mouth, but spite was the sum of their relationship. Mahler would not see his faults if he was run over by them, and Wylla had done this once before. She had abandoned Grimnismal after dealing with Chusi's disrespect and then Caiaphas' threats. That had been a split second decision that she'd later regretted. This was an equally swift choice, but unlike before, this feeling of alienation and inequality and disregard had been festering for quite some time.

Iron jaws clamped tight over her emotions. She had always justified him with responses and hysterics before. Now? There was nothing left but a chill that reached into her very bones when he spoke, all but confirming that it was for the best if she never saw his patronizing face again.

I will speak to Thade and Phaedra. They're old enough to decide for themselves if they will stay here with you or come with me. For fear of Rusalka, she hoped they would follow her, but Phaedra had grown distant enough that Wylla felt sure her daughter despised her as much as the first did. Thade might follow, but he might see more value in staying with his papa, as well. She would leave it up to them, no matter how much it hurt. This choice was delivered in the monotonous, unfeeling tone of one who had nothing left to give. She thought she would seek Stag as well, but didn't say so. Nobody else deserved an explanation, but he deserved that and so much more.

And then I will be gone by first light, she declared, wholly devoid of any emotion. She already knew that her subordinates didn't trust her. Taikon was a problem now, and she could not deal with him without inciting those who supported him, and Mahler certainly would not support her in that. He'd shown her as much. What use in sticking around in a rank that had already felt hollow before this? If they thought they were better off without her, then off she would go.
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Ooc — ebony
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there was an immediate spate of regret, but mahler set his jaw. it had been said; it could not be withdrawn or covered up. he had been alone and it had done well for him. some tiny part of the gargoyle believed she might yet return again, but he would not rely upon it. 
the tonality of her voice was final.
let her go, let her seek a more pleasing forever elsewhere. if wylla did not come back he would know that she had discovered a more fulfilling place. but daylight on the second day would bring a new life to glow above them.
one that lacked the fiery eisen.
a stubborn clamp at his throat, a betrayal of grief as she mentioned their children. a nod. he would not patronize her by stating that she would be allowed to visit. she knew it to be so. he did not think she would come back.
caught in the steady rising fog of the final storm he had created, mahler was utterly silent, a rock face to counter the coldness of her parting words with only a crisp nod in answer. 
later the ends of him would catch fire in anguish. for now, he was the remembered brackishness of winterholme.
love made poor mortar for the stones of a bond, and mahler would not fall prey to it again.
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Ooc — Chelsie
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That was that, then.

Later she would thumb through a list of regrets that she'd accumulated in the name of this pack and this man she'd hoped to love whole and entire one day. Maybe a sense of loss would find her then, but what really was she losing? Possibly her children, but selfish as she was in some regards, Wylla wasn't selfish enough to force them to follow her. Otherwise?

The scrutiny of her packmates. The lack of trust and respect for her judgment. The lack of support from her partner. The frustration of always being lesser, somehow. The paranoia that the coming season would surely have heaped upon her head, especially with Asra around, no doubt flirting with Mahler and spreading her legs for him. In fact, the idea of not having to deal with that or even care was a weight already lifting from her back.

A slow breath, and then finally she was able to urge her paws to walk, and she would not look back at Mahler as she left him to find her children.
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Ooc — ebony
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mahler would remain as wylla had until she was gone from view. unless he followed, he would not see her again. the scents of sagtannet hung long and heavy in the air;
frigid wind burning at his musculature.
the wheeling of air overhead as he stared and stared at the place where she had last stood and recounted every one of her words to himself until it became a horrid mantra.
he hoped that thade would stay, but despite phaedra's overall reticence, had not her loyalty always been to her mother? he did not believe his pearl would reside here upon the peak without wylla. elke and ciri, upon the far mountain moonspear. mahler would keep his promise to them, but he would not remain there. his daughters and their mother deserved breaths of clean air unspoiled by the melancholy promise of a father who could not be with them.
a blink; a blur as eyes began to ache, and still mahler stayed as he was, a sentinel carved from the bone of sagtannet.
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