Redhawk Caldera He's just a different kind of kid

The crisp scent of autumn accompanied the shrinking daylight hours. As Bronco roamed along the lake's edge during the golden hour, he tried to pick apart what it was that made fall smell the way it did- and couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was. Perhaps the musty smell of leaves, but for some reason, a small part of his brain was convinced it had something to do with the temperature, even though his rational self thought temperature couldn't have a smell. 

But there was nothing extraordinary for him to smell here. Not this far away from the borders, anyway; he still preferred to remain well within the pack's claimed borders, hunting and making note of the animals that visited the lake on a daily basis. It wasn't an exciting life- but it was better than the alternative, and he'd become complacent with the job he'd given himself as it came with very few risks. If all he had to worry about was whether or not temperature had a smell, it couldn't be that bad of a lifestyle.

I wanted to grab one of these <3 it can be a cameo! I'm hopin to get some old threads wrapped tomorrow

Even with the hunt, Fennec had kept up her quiet distance from Bronco as soon as they'd gotten back. It wasn't all that hard to do with a territory as large as the Caldera. Now that the air was beginning to turn cold, her mind was on other things anyway. The pack hadn't had too much need for a healer of late, and anyone who had generally had gone to see Raven. There weren't a whole lot of willing warriors in the area either to train with... and not for the first time, Fennec wondered what kind of a role she might fill here. Being Killdeer's mom was pretty "killer", but even with things mended with Towhee, it still felt like there wasn't much of anyone left here she could vibe with.

Which was a pretty pathetic feeling to have, and don't worry, she was roasting herself mercilessly for it even as she nosed idly for plants at the lake's edge. Hock-deep in the water, she didn't know that Bronco was nearby.

So it wasn't him that startled her into a breathy holy shit-, but the frog that erupted in a mini explosion of water a foot from her nose. As soon as she realized, she did take a half-hearted snap at it... but it was already long gone towards the center of the lake. Damn.

<3

Along the very edges of the lake where the water lapped there were almost always footprints sunk into the mud. Nowadays though, if a set of tracks was left behind overnight they would develop the thinnest layer of frosty ice across them. And while he usually patrolled the lake to keep a tally on the numbers of prey animals in the area...There was also something so satifsfying about the crunch that ice made underfoot- so he went in search of some of those. 

His ears flicked forward when he caught Fennec's scent. Nothing unusual for her to come to the lake, really. He felt no reason why he should avoid her so he carried on and eventually caught sight of her just as she was spooked by a muddy toad, jumping out of her way. 

Her first reaction was to snap- noted, but he didn't dwell on it. 

"You do know those'll give you warts, right?" He said. "Or are witches immune to warts?"

She really needed to pay closer attention, she thought with a start as Bronco's voice came from surprisingly close. Her heart was still hammering a bit from the frog, but she snorted with a quiet laugh at his comment.

Warts are the mark of a witch. I figure if I eat enough of those, I won't even have to introduce myself. Plus they tasted pretty alright, but she'd not caught many of them. They were quick and hard to hear in the water before running.

I'll catch it later, she added, in an offhand way that implied she definitely wouldn't. Before the silence had any space to even get a chance at settling in, she couldn't help it. This place feels a little like a ghost town.

She wondered if he'd noticed the change and felt it like she did. She didn't necessarily dislike how small the pack was, but it was becoming easier and easier to pass entire days without crossing anyone's path within the vast stretch of the Caldera.

He crjnged inwardly at the idea of his mate collecting warts over the years just to make herself look like a witch. Of course, Fennec was the sort of wolf who would dive into that kind of idea without worrying about how she'd look, which was admirable, but he found it was still an unattractive concept. Maybe it made him a bit shallow, but warts really didn't appeal to him. 

"Yum, frogbreath," he commented. Though it wasn't like he had to put up with bad breath anyway- he and Fennec were still sleeping separately. He felt guilty about it, of course- but at least he was getting sleep now. 

Her topic change was so abrupt he had to take a second to try and parse out what it was she was trying to infer. True, they had fewer packmates than he could remember having. Was this her subtle way of commenting about the leadership? Fennec wasn't typically subtle. "Yeah," He agreed. He was curious to see what she really meant by her comment. "Perfect time to stage a coup d'état or whatever it's called and take over, though," He suggested casually.

Fennec's thoughts had actually been trailing along the hunting train, though she didn't exactly voice the process. Not exactly an ace at it, she hadn't until recently really needed to try. Now she was glad she had picked up a trick or two because winter with things as they were currently was going to be... rough. Warts or no, she'd kinda have to take what she could catch. Not that she had, of course.

His suggestion was interesting and clearly, in her mind, a joke. She grinned with a little surprise - she hadn't expected Bronco to crack a joke about that so casually, but she appreciated it. A lot, actually.

Does a coup even work if there's only you and the other leaders? She asked teasingly, giving up on the pond for the moment and wading her way onto dry land. She came to a stop and shook water from her paws a short distance from where Bronco's voice originated. Feels a bit like a waste of a good mutiny. Aside from their respective kids, there wasn't even anyone to turn. Where was the fun in that?

Being no military expert, he shrugged, offering a small chuffing noise as he did so, for her reference. As she pulled herself from the shallow water he contemplated how serious her interest in the matter was. Something that had lingered between them often as a joke- but these days, with the pack's numbers being so low? He too felt change was inevitable, ushered by the approaching cold of winter. 

"Well, there wouldn't be as much glory as there might be if there were more wolves involved," He admitted "But those details can always be fudged in the future when we're telling our own grandkids," He nearly chuckled. He paused. "Serious talk though- there's...Too few of us here. I dunno what's planned, but we can't stay like this, so...Maybe it's time for something different."

When we are telling our own grandkids. That caught her off guard, though she didn't respond or call attention to it. It was jarring to hear him so casually make reference to them as a pair when, lately, she'd been silently waiting for him to drop the hammer on the entire thing.

But validation wasn't something she could ask for right now, and she'd resolved to sit back and just ride. So as tempting as it was to hook into that drop, she let it pass. It was fucking hard. Fennec was not a wolf who was used to biting her tongue, but at least this indicator pushed the needle a little positive?

She'd had the thought, back when she'd first felt like she needed to step down, that it'd be pretty awesome to run off and just start their own thing. She'd pretty immediately thrown it out as a 'never gonna happen' when Bronco had seemed both incapable of leaving and pretty disillusioned with her as a partner. So, trying to get a read on what he was indicating, she had a hard time following.

Like, as in, really toss them down? I mean... I'm totally willing to see what Rue has, but mom? That'd feel a little messed up. It was weird that he'd double down on it, so her expression spoke plainly that she knew she was missing something. I'm definitely on board with different, but if we are talking serious, I don't think leading this place is worth that.

Obviously. But it was more even than her mom. Redhawk Caldera was good and all, but she didn't exactly fit here. She was tolerated because she was Towhee's kid, but she had no false pretenses about where certain public opinion held her otherwise.

"Nahhh," Bronco dissuaded. Fighting for the right to lead a pack didn't make a tonne of sense to him. He wasn't a violent wolf to begin with. And while he thiught he sensed some willingness in Fennec to at least shoulder Ruenna out of the way, neither of them were really willing to do any harm to Towhee. 

"I think the whole "coup" thing isn't the right word for it. And to be honest...Staying here, I feel like they'd always want a part in running the place or a word in how it's run. And it didn't work." Between the amount of fights, rank shifts, and wolves who came and left so easily, it simply hadn't felt like a stable environment for some time. The location was great- but it was more for nostalgia than anything. 

"I think it's...What would you think about leaving on our own, finding-or creating- our own...Thing?"

She was right at least in thinking she was hearing him wrong, but what he said next had her pause. It should have been an immediate yes, but shit was complicated and he was serious. She could tell by the way he paused as he said it, as if he was looking for the right way to phrase the question. She didn't want to answer unless she meant what she said.

The Caldera had worked, but... not for her. She loved it here, but the truth of it was, she'd never fully stepped into any role to the extent she'd wanted to. No matter how hard she tried to, she'd never managed to fill the space left by Eljay, and she wondered if that was because of how different they were. Fennec might have been the actual mother of the two, but she wasn't the mothering type, and maybe the Caldera just needed someone more like him. Someone more like Raven.

She knew her mom would miss her, but running through the pack's members, that might honestly be the only real impact they'd have. Towhee would understand, right?

Besides, this doesn't count as running. He's asking. Her mom, and the rest of them, would be able to figure it out. She hadn't thought much about the idea since tossing it, but now that she was on it again, she felt that previous excitement kicking in. She didn't want to get too invested but fuck, she loved the whole vibe of it.

Yeah. I think that'd be cool. If you're sure. I mean... it might be just us, for a while. I'm pretty damn amazing, but I'm not a pack. And Killdeer is getting older. So... I guess he might not come either. If that was the case, then there was no reason for Bronco to do this with her aside from actually wanting to. She'd fuck anyone up who tried to mess with him, but she couldn't do that from half a territory away. And there'd be no more avoiding him.

It would have been so easy to just say yes, but she could already feel herself getting way too into this idea. She had no way of knowing if these last few weeks had been enough for him to really do something like this.

She checked in to make sure he wasn't suggesting something just to please her and he chuffed. He'd realized in Moonspear that he truly loved to patrol, and in Firefly Glen that he loved being the leadership's right hand man. Now, perhaps, once they found a safe place to settle, he could do both again, someplace new and distanced from the hand-me-down trauma that weighed on him. 

"We'll find others." He said. "Maybe we just travel for a while, and pick up some founders along the way. We did that a bit with Firefly Glen, and everyone there was pretty cool," He said. "Or we find a place we like, and we bunker down there for the winter before trying again in the Spring." He said. After all, they'd have a rough winter if they didn't manage to pull a pack together, so he preferred to relieve that pressure and give them a possible way out. "But I don't think Ruenna and Towhee can expect us to last the winter here. I think...If the pack relocates or merges with another pack, maybe that's just the perfect time for us to figure out what to do, for us." Of course, he knew they'd have to sort out a stable situation for Killdeer- but the boy wouldn't be too young to travel or too young to stay with Towhee and Ruenna while he and Fennec travelled, so the way he saw it, there was potential for a lot of different, safe opportunities.

No, he was actually okay with this. His tone was more casual than she'd heard, talking to him, in weeks. She'd known that it had done him good but she hadn't realized how much. And it was clear that he didn't actually hate her, or hold some kind of a grudge against her for everything that had happened since he returned. That would have maybe been obvious if she hadn't been so afraid, up until now, to even really engage with him.

A little of the internal caginess she'd been feeling these past weeks melted away into relief. Her lips twitched up in a smile when he laughed at her wanting to clarify. Shut up, it wasn't her fault. His plan was a good one, though she did wonder how Killdeer would take it. Would he want to go with them, or would he stick around with his cousins and Towhee?

I want Killdeer to do what he wants, but it'd be hard to leave him. I think you're right though. If we want to do this, now is the time, and I really want to do this. For us.

When she'd first thought about it, her idea had been to claim the Bramblepoint and set up there. But now she remembered traveling with Penn and how many cool places they'd experienced. If they could find another area, even if it was a little far, it would be even easier to restart. There was so much appeal in living in a place where no one knew her from before. But she imagined leaving everyone behind would be rough for their son, and she wasn't sure how well they could provide for him in the winter if he couldn't keep up.

You did get a taste for that power in the Glen, didn't you? She added with a slightly teasing tone. It was mostly joke, but she wouldn't be surprised if there was an edge of truth to it. That's definitely an accurate statement for her own experience. She missed a lot about it.

His proposition almost seemed to bring her relief. He didn't realize that she might just be relieved because she'd had doubts about their relationship, and instead figured that she might simply be happy because he knew she liked to travel, and that she liked being invited along. He'd expected some hesitancy, especially involving Killdeer, but she seemed game for it. 

"For sure. If he wants to come, he comes. If he wants to stay, then we'll scout around and come back for him once we've found a home." Of course, there was a chance he might settle in wherever he stayed, if that was his choice, but if that was the case then they could settle somewhere nearby so that they could visit. Time had flown- and the kid was almost a fledgeling already. 

"Hmm," He hummed thoughtfully. He'd not been a leader at the glen- the three brothers had held those positions- but with Fennec, he might be more inclined to step forward and lead alongside her. "Well, sort of, maybe. I think I wanted to lead but the Glen was created and led by one family, and I wasn't a part of that. I guess...I wanna have that, now, and I want to be a part of the gong show that leads it."

Fennec knew that the hardest part of this would be the goodbyes they might have to make, but she wasn't going to worry about that or dwell on it right now. As usual, she instead focused on the parts of it that sounded most appealing, and that meant the part where she and Bronco would get to build something somewhere that was entirely new. She'd gotten a tiny taste of that in Firefly Glen and before she'd dropped a fucking grenade on it, she'd loved it. That wasn't a mistake she was going to make again, at least not knowingly. And she wasn't unaware of how much she had changed since then, for better or for worse.

She'd wondered at times if Bronco did want to lead, and she'd forgotten that he didn't at the Glen. That was right, though, it was those other guys. She snorted, then remembered how things had ended up. Alright. Maybe she should be a little nice, that shit was fucked and she hadn't disliked them. You could have been, easy. And even if I did a kickass job at it while I had it, I don't think it's something I'd want to do solo.

There were parts of being a leader that Fennec knew she sucked at, though she wasn't about to come right out and say it. Bronco had to already see it, right? It was shit he seemed to enjoy... making small talk, making friends, and connecting in ways she had never really figured out. While her blindness could have been another shortcoming he compensated for, that one didn't even cross her mind. She could play bad cop just fine but she knew that wasn't going to be enough, and she didn't care enough about strangers to think she'd want to attempt anything else.

I kind of figured you'd go for it before I would, in the Caldera, actually. We didn't talk about it, obviously, but I thought it would be cool. You seemed like you were good at it, which is funny, since I guess you never actually were one. She didn't mean to sound condescending or like she was... trying to confidence boost him or anything. She didn't think he needed her reassurance or anything, and giving the compliment made her skin prickle a bit self-consciously. She really didn't have much practice at it.

Whether Osiris, Antares and Atlas would have ever asked him to lead with them would never be known. And neither Towhee nor Niamh had ever really made him feel pushed to step up, so he had settled into a complacent life which mostly just meant following other wolves and tending to their children. 

"Well, I don't think it was ever really the right time, for me. Between bears, cougars, and Mom being a jerk all the time, I just...Ya know. Besides, It never really felt like anyone but a Redhawk could ever really lead this place. I'm not a Redhawk, and I never really liked that sort of...Exclusivity. S'Probably part of the reason our numbers have dwindled. Anyone who's not family- or that doesn't marry into it- doesn't typically stick around long. Maybe people feel like they're outsiders here." He said with a shrug. "I wanna live in a better place than that."

I wish it were that easy, she replied with a single, quiet laugh. Maybe there was some truth to what he said, but Ruenna fit way better here than Fennec ever had. It didn't get much more Redhawk than her and still, everyone seemed to just bypass her. No matter how much sense it made, it still bothered her that every crisis seemed to rope in Raven instead of her. And now, she'd even had to crash a pack hunt, despite the fact that she was one of the only adults in the pack even willing or able to participate. No one really bothered to check.

I think being a Redhawk is more a state of mind. You just have to want it. Maybe my problem is I don't, at least not if it means I have to change that much. They hadn't liked her way of handling things, or her way of directly saying what she thought. They hadn't kicked her out of leadership over it, but she had been the one who was a frequent point of friction. As much as she loved her mom, she couldn't lead alongside her, and that was pretty hard to come to terms with at the time.

Bronco's point was a little harsh, but she could see where it came from, and she wondered where he saw himself. Technically he fit the label he put out there as having married in, but like she said... she didn't fit. Aliana and Ruenna, on the other hand, meshed so quickly and were completely happy leading.

How would you do it better? She absolutely did not have the answer to that question, and she wanted to put him on the spot because it was an interesting thought. How long had he been thinking about this?

Bronco tilted his head quizzically. He wasn't sure that simply fitting a surname, or an attitude, was the way to create and support a thriving pack. The way Fennec commented, it made him wonder if she wished that that was all it took. And she wasn't really wrong- it likely would have been so much easier if fitting in with a pack was simply a matter of being blood, or marrying in. 

But Bronco knew that blood wasn't enough. 

He chuffed and shook his head, in an effort to humbly surrender to his own inexperience. "Oh, I'm not saying I know how, I'm just sayin' I want to give it a try." He could be honest, at least. But he felt he did owe Fennec at least a bit of an explanation, as though this was some kind of job application. 

"I think...I think the leaders here...I know my Mom, at least, probably shouldn't have been a leader. From what she told me, she's been demoted and kicked out more than a couple times and she never changed her ways but still she got put back as a leader until she stepped down after Prim died." He said. "And as like-minded as she and Towhee seemed sometimes, based on how well they got along when things were good, every single time they disagreed it was a fucking battlefield with Phox sort of just being tugged back and forth between the two of them. You and I....We have to be able to disagree. And be fine with disagreeing, if we're gonna lead together." He said.  "As for making packmates feel at home...I think they just need to feel like they're part of a family, while still being respected and appreciated as being an individual. We don't need everyone to think the same, or do the same, or to take the same surname so that we're all...One thing. Speaking of, though," He said, given the fact the perfect opportunity had just presented itself. "If you wanted to, you can take my last name if you think it might suit you. Blackthorn sounds kinda witchy, doesn't it?" He asked. "I take no offense if you don't wanna come join the dark side, but...The offer's there."

Fair enough. She listened quietly while he gave his answer, though she did sit and draw her forelegs closer in when a soft and chilly autumn breeze hit her still-damp fur. She really loved the fall, when the trees began to suffuse the place with the noise of dry leaves rustling and branches creaking. But pretty soon she'd think twice before hitting her more aquatic herb searches.

She agreed with most of what he said in theory, but a few things made her skittish. The last question was a biggie, even though she really hadn't even thought about it yet. It hadn't occurred to her that she ever might care about changing her name, but this conversation had already opened some shit up that made it a complicated one right now. It already felt like she was standing at the edge of giving up her mom's legacy and passing a big eff you to both her and her dad, though Fennec was sure they'd be okay with it. Tossing the name at the same time was... a lot. Yeah, maybe she'd never really felt like she was a Redhawk personality wise, but she'd also never felt like she wasn't family.

I'll... think about it. Her uncharacteristic hesitancy only lasted a moment, though. She was pretty willing to quickly move on to the other parts of his suggestions.

What happens if we disagree about something important? How do we just decide to be okay with that? Fennec's tail started to twitch back and forth. They argued so often, it seemed. If Bronco wanted her to just be agreeable, she.... well. That was exactly the same shit she'd been unable to do here.

If something's important to me, I can't just give up on it. I won't change that. God, she could feel it. She was afraid to engage with him fully and a part of her wanted to just end this conversation, but the fact that it was going well so far led her to at least open up the dialogue.

She didn't feel like she was the one who had a problem with disagreeing. Well... at least, with the idea that they might. Their track record wasn't exactly solid, and the fact that things were only better when she was avoiding him said... a few potential things. If she was going to avoid doing something to make him second guess leadership with her, she needed more than that.

Did he hope she'd take his last name? Possibly. But he hadn't expected her to launch herself at the idea or even make a decision right away anyway so he felt he'd done his duty of asking, and could leave her to choose as she pleased without feeling any need to hang around waiting or pressure her for a decision. 

"It's not an if, it's definitely a when," He said, amusement sparkling in his tone. They would always have things they both felt strongly about as they were both wolves with strong principles. "But when that happens, we just have to figure it out. Talk. Ask for another opinion, poll the pack, or just find something that works as common ground. We're gonna have to make choices for pack laws and such so we're gonna hafta do a lot of talking. What happens with trespassers, deserters, how many families can the pack support, who's in charge of what, who do we promote or demote, etc. We're just...Gonna have to figure it out as we go." He said. "What you feel is important to you, is important to me too. But if I disagree with something you want, it's...Not personal. It's just a different perspective. It doesn't change how I feel about you." He said, and shrugged. "And like I say. If we don't find a place we like, or wolves to join up with us, we can just find another pack to join. I don't think we need to pressure ourselves into making history," He said.

Oh, thank fuck, he hadn't taken it badly. In fact, she could hear the smile behind his voice and it made her stomach flutter, just a bit. She'd missed that.

It really was a "when". Talking didn't sound any different from what they normally did, but despite still questioning if it was really going to be that easy, she decided to drop it. It wasn't like she wasn't going to go with, and it wasn't like they weren't going to have to cross that bridge sometime.

Giving up any and all of her expectations for their relationship going forward had sucked, but it meant that now, she was going into this without that fear. She'd already lost him once and survived it, already fucked up more than a few times, and already made her peace with ending things where they were. Thankfully Bronco seemed keen on taking a different route, but the desperation with which she'd asked him to be her mate had been replaced with a much quieter (and slightly guarded) acceptance.

She wanted to trust him, wanted him to trust her. And she wasn't sold that it had been that easy, no matter how good what he was saying sounded.

Yeah. The pack shit sounded fine, and she couldn't see herself ever having too much opinion on things like family counts. Trespassing might be a little more of a discussion, but that wasn't this talk and she wasn't sure she had the energy to get into that tonight. She was a little overwhelmed already, in the traditional Fennec 'fuck that shit' manner. They could talk details later.


And if it isn't working, or one of us has to bail for any reason, we say something. No matter what. She smiled wryly. This wasn't her calling him out and they should both know that. Dipping and being dipped on was a pattern that dotted her history and last time she'd taken a trip like this, it hadn't ended well. Felt like a lifetime ago, though. It can't be that hard. Right? She'd already promised this ages ago to herself but maybe it deserved saying out loud.

It was kind of decided. Fennec fell into silence, mulling over the idea as she listened for his response. The only Redhawk that she wanted to invite along was Killdeer... the rest would only bring the same problems along that prevented them from trying to lead here. They'd have to tell her mom if they were really doing this. Fennec didn't want to lie about it, no matter how tempting it was to just ask forgiveness later.