Sun Mote Copse Time after time

It had been a while since their weird talk about secrets, but since then, Fennec hadn't seen much of @Sugar Glider.  Today, she was on the hunt for her friend, mainly because she wanted to talk about some stuff and didn't know who else to go to.

In the Grove, she'd been surrounded by guys, and her brother was really her only friend her age.  Even here, all of her other friends were guys.. which was fine.  But with Towhee being weird and the knowledge of the season, there was stuff on Fennec's mind she wasn't really used to.  Stuff like kids, and did she want them, and if she had them.... would they turn out like her.  Y'know.  Dumb stuff.

Sugar!! You here?  She was in the vicinity of where she knew Finley and Elwood stayed, but there was a chance she'd have to roam further to find her.  Hopefully she was around.

Today was the day, though she didn't leave at dawn as planned. In fact, it was getting close to noon and Sugar still hadn't even met up with Bronco yet. She'd barely slept the night before, a case of nerves suddenly hitting her. She knew she wouldn't be going far, nor staying away too long, yet the reality of it hit her: she had never been away from her family and home for any stretch of time besides that once (and that was a godawful memory). Sugar truly wanted to learn all she could from Raven but the anxiety delayed her, particularly in the form of turning her stomach sour.

She had just thrown up in a nearby bush when someone called her by name. Sugar scrubbed a paw at her mouth, kicked some dirt and snow over the mess, then moved forward to meet Fennec. "Hey," she greeted with some surprise, the pleasant sort. "I'm here. What's up?"

She really should have thought this through... there was no real casual way to walk up to a friend and go "so.... kids? Thoughts?"  Fennec immediately flushed when Sugar asked what was up, but luckily she was given an out when the scent came to her.

Are you sick?  she asked.  That would certainly explain why she'd been so quiet lately, a better explanation than avoidance.

Of course Fennec would smell the vomit. Sugar smiled weakly and shook her head, saying, "Oh, no... I just have a nervous stomach." She paused to lick some traces of sour saliva from her lips, then stepped forward to nudge Fen a little further from the site of her regurgitation while explaining, "I'm about to head off to the Frosthawks for a couple of weeks to train with Raven, who's a really renowned medic. I kept telling everyone, 'It's not a big deal! I won't be far! I won't be gone long!' And then, of course, I'm the one who has a nervous breakdown when the day comes." There was a note of self-deprecating humor in her tone.

"Here," Sugar said when they were a few yards away, seating herself and asking, "Anyway, what brings you by? Is everything okay?" As she sat there, studying Fen's familiar, pale features, she did think of their last real conversation and wondered if Fennec might ask her about her big secret. She hoped not. Sugar had somehow managed to put most of that behind her, squashing all those feelings and that big bad secret into a locked closet at the back of her mind. She didn't particularly feel like knocking on the door.

Fennec had meant to ask if Sugar had dealt with the feelings, but her mood seemed to indicate she had, so she assumed and moved on.  No use bringing up the subject that bad made their last meeting turn a little sideways.

Besides, when her friend revealed her plans, Fennec had something new to focus on.  Her feelings about the Frosthawks were... complicated.  Fog seemed to have had a good time while he was there... without her... meeting people she'd probably never meet.  Her stomach turned with jealousy, a feeling that was growing all too familiar to her.  Cool that Sugar could travel so freely.

Fennec tried to shove the uglier thoughts down, but doubtless they showed a little in the flicker of her smile. Oh.  That's cool.  They sound like a fun group, I bet you'll learn a lot.  I don't think it's even that far.  Still probably too far for her.

Um, yeah, everything's fine.  I just wanted to see what you were up to.  But I guess you probably have things to do to get ready and all.  This time she was the one begging off early, the instant down slide in her mood a warning that she should probably go find someplace to chill for a while.

Wraen had missed the official good-bye round of Sugar Glider the previous day and had felt a bit disappointed for not having a chance to see off the little book-worm of the pack. Finley's daughter might not have been the most favourite out of the previous season's bunch, but she was fond of each in her own particular way. The girl's decision to head out to Frosthawks in order to learn more about healing had not come as a surprise and Wraen wondered, whether Towhee had implanted this idea in the girl's mind. Because she knew she had discussed with someone about the benefits of letting the girl improve her skills elsewhere. 

So, imagine her pleasant surprise, when she found Sugar Glider still present. Fennec was with her as well. Wraen pondered, whether she should join the two, but then - she might not have another chance for a farewell. Who knew, when and if the girl was going to return. So - she approached and asked: "On your way?"

Sugar didn't think much of the subtle shift in Fen's expression, not until she began to dismiss herself. "Oh, I'm not in any hurry," the Blackthorn reassured her, "so you can hang out for a bit. I want to wait for my stomach to settle before I go find Bron. He wants to escort me," she explained, her tone amused, "even though you're right: I've heard it's not far at all." She shrugged, aware that her cohort couldn't see.

She wondered if there had been anything in particular on Fen's mind when she'd come along, though Sugar was a little afraid to ask, in case it was her secret. Instead, she remarked, "I wish I could find some peppermint. It would help settle my stomach and get rid of this serious case of bad br—" Her voice cut off when the Sovereign appeared.

"Hi!" Sugar greeted the leader, bowing her striped head respectfully before righting herself. "I was going to leave this morning," she admitted, feeling a little more self-conscious in front of Wraen than she had when it was only Fennec, "but I felt a little sick, so I'm waiting for it to pass."

It was a little funny that asking herself along wasnt something that occurred as an option to the girl as she listened to Sugar Glider explain.  There was just this huge difference between herself asking to go and someone else.

She was a burden, a responsibility.

Probably it wasn't even a cool place.  Probably the places she'd been had been cooler, before she'd been shut down in her travels.  Probably she wasn't missing anything.  She spun her wheels hard to gain that indifference she usually found easily.  If Fig hadn't just come from there she probably wouldn't have cared this much.

I could go find you some, she offered as Wraen came up.  She had offered an out just by showing up and Fennec was taking it.

Wraen sensed right away that she had interrupted an important conversation and that now she was that third wheel that both were uncomfortable to discuss matters openly with, but were too polite to turn her away. She sighed, taking off now would be even more awkward than staying, therefore Fennec's willingness to go somewhere and fetch something for Sugar Glider's upset stomach was almost welcome. "Fenn, before you go - there is something I want to discuss with you later. Don't wander off too far," she told the blind girl.

Then she turned to Sugar Glider - the girl did not seem too worried about her digestive problems and Wraen decided to trust her to know best. "I just wanted to see you, before you head off to Frosthawks," she smiled at her. "You are taking a very brave step, but we are going to miss you around here," she told her sincerely. "Do you have anyone to show you the way there?"

Before Fen could leave, Sugar interjected to say, "But you won't find peppermint this time of year, so there's no need for you to go looking." She was beginning to think her friend really did want to leave. Though she wasn't quite sure why she would turn up only to leave so soon, Sugar was kind enough to add, "Although Eljay might have some stashed away somewhere, if you wanna track him down and ask."

Turning to Wraen once more, Sugar smiled at the leader's commendations and questions. "No, well, Bron's coming with me and we know the way there." She wouldn't oppose it if someone who actually knew the route wanted to come along, though she hadn't formally asked any of them. She was pretty confident she could find it and said as much: "The directions are pretty straightforward."

Sugar Glider made a good point, but Wraen's phrasing was rather unfortunate given the circumstances.  She might have stayed, but the leader's casual reminder cut her the wrong way.

Wouldn't want that, would we. she muttered bitterly, then turned to go.  I'll be back.  She didn't feel like hunting Eljay down, and honestly would have rather stayed here, but she didn't want to sit and listen to Wraen wishing Sugar well when just a short while ago she'd been going on about how much Fennec wasn't ready.

She felt bad, she really was glad that her friend was going to get to go and learn things and she wasn't upset over that.  It just wasn't fair, and that fact was being pounded into her growing mind at an increasingly alarming rate.  She was almost an adult, chafing at her own limitations; sooner or later she'd either accept them or continue testing them until she went too far.

Wraen caught the sullen note in Fennec's voice and wrote it off to her being upset about Sugar Glider leaving the group. Yeah, life was not going to get any easier for the blind girl. Especially now, when the first chicks of the roost were spreading their wings and leaving off to the world and she was the only one destined to be tied to the nest. 

"Are they?" she turned back Sugar Glider, realizing that she had never asked, where exactly the Frosthawks had chosen to settle down. All she knew was that they weren't too far. But then there was Phox and Fig, and Nellie, and Clover, who had stayed there, so she should not worry about the girl and her guardian getting lost. "Do you intend to return someday or expand your learning experience from there?" Wraen asked. A skilled healer would be always welcome in the ranks, but she would understand, if the girl chose to do something different.

Sugar glanced at Fen's retreating back before once more turning her full attention upon the leader's questions. "Aye," she replied simply to the first, then her little face furrowed a little. "I plan to come back in a few weeks," Sugar replied right away, though she admitted, "I hadn't really thought about other possibilities." She immediately thought of her parents and Avery, her stomach suddenly clenching at the mere thought of being separated from them indefinitely.

"I—" she began to say when instead she found herself dry heaving. Shooting Wraen a look that said, Sorry, excuse me, she skittered sideways and bent over the snow, though she only brought up a few mouthfuls of bile and quite a lot of saliva before the retching stopped. She hurriedly washed her mouth out with snow, then dug down beneath the white crust to snatch up a few shoots of dry, dead grass, which she began to chew even as she turned back toward the Sovereign.

"Sorry about that. I think I'm going to push departure off 'til tomorrow. Hopefully my stomach settles by then."

"The world is a big place, Sugar Glider," Wraen encouraged her. "Eljay will disagree with me on this entirely," she smiled saying this, "but getting out there can give you a better perspective on things back home. If you - after your time with Raven - feel inclined to travel and learn more, do so. It is so much easier to do, when you are young." Not like now, when you are almost four and have so much to do that longer journeys unrelated to pack business was a distant dream. 

Sugar Glider chose the best moment to vomit in the corner right after she had said this, so for a moment Wraen thought that she had said something very nauseous. Words were powerful tools and could give a whole spectrum of emotions, but to cause a physiological response like this? So, it was good that the girl explained afterwards that this had not been the first time that day. "Wow. Did you eat something off? Those fish we had were not the freshest and has given gastric upsets to more than one comrade here," her thoughts immediately reverted to Towhee, who had been a living, breathing and hiccuping toxic gas chamer.

Her lips twitched at the Sovereign's question and she slowly shook her striped head. "No, I just have a nervous stomach," she explained, her prior sense of self-consciousness surfacing once more. Sugar didn't point out that she hadn't actually imbibed any fish, as it seemed rather moot. "The grass I just ate should help a bit."

Belatedly, she considered what else Wraen had said, about traveling while she was still young. "Except for that one time," Sugar said, swallowing a little roughly, "I really haven't ventured far from home. That's why my stomach's in knots. But maybe going to stay with the Frosthawks will teach me more than just medicine." Sugar smiled and shrugged, her frame of reference still so narrow that she wasn't entirely sure what to expect from the field trip.

"I need to go find Bron," she said in the next beat, glancing after Fennec, remembering how Wraen had wanted to speak to her too. "Thank you for coming to see me. Your encouragement means a lot," Sugar said quietly but earnestly.

For the first and only time Wraen doubted Sugar Glider's healer's knowledge, because in her experience eating grass never ever helped with digestion. It upset it even more. You either threw it up soon after eating it or it came out the other end and you were very lucky if it did not string stool like Christmas decorations and hung from your bum-hole with hell lot of effort to get it off. But - this was something every wolf found out themselves, the Sovereign was not going to smirch her spotless and respectable image to the young girl by telling such embarrassing stories of her life.

"See you then! Good luck with your travels," Wraen let the girl go and then with an intention to find Fennec got distracted and found her few days later.