Whitefish River the light is always on

Much as she wanted to continue the search for Prevost, Meerkat couldn't do much but try to take it easy for a few days. She chose a shady spot near the foot of the plateau, within sight of the river, so she could remain central to everyone involved in the search party even as she rode out the withdrawal symptoms.

Today, she felt quite a bit better and padded to fetch a drink from the Whitefish. Afterward, she performed a self-assessment and then decided to call for @Phox. If he was within earshot, maybe they could touch base and he could let her know how best to jump back into helping. She also had an idea she wanted to float past him.

It was hot. 'Hot' was an understatement. Not even noon yet and the sun baked the earth, beating down upon her pelt with a fury. She panted as she traveled the border, having set out a couple hours before on a dual errand of hunting small game and looking for her missing children.

A failure on both tasks. 

Movement near the shore of the river beneath the plateau caught her eye, and she turned to find the tawny figure of Meerkat at the water, drinking. Her ears folded slightly back as she called for Phox; did she want to disturb the yearling now, especially after calling for her father?

After a moment's contemplation, Maegi decided to move forward. She should apologize, anyway, for being so short with the young woman the other day.

She found a relatively easy passage down the slope after taking a slightly longer path than anticipated, finally padding onto the open ground and toward Meerkat. Maegi chuffed at the Redhawk in greeting, keeping her posture level, with a humble expression upon her face.

Meerkat, she said, a little breathless from the combination of descent and hot weather. Good morning. Have—Have you or Phox found any trace of them?

I'm gonna assume "them" refers to Prevost (since they would've shared about finding Perry), if that's cool! :D

She pricked her ears, hoping for a reply from her dad. Instead, she heard a low huff from behind her. Meerkat turned her head first, then her whole body, which stiffened ever so slightly as Maegi came closer. Although she had vowed to follow Phox's orders, Meerkat had plenty of mixed feelings toward both her aunt(?) and her uncle in regards to this situation.

But keeping their collective priorities in mind, she cleared her throat and replied, "Not yet. But we found Peregrine, so I'm sure we'll find her too." She didn't know what came after that. She knew what she wanted to happen but what did Phox plan to do? What would Maegi and Mou have to say about it? And what—this one was the most difficult to untangle—was best for the kids in question?

Pushing that thought aside, the yearling drew in a breath and added, "I haven't been able to search much the past few days. I was... under the weather. But I plan to head out soon. Although," Meerkat said, voice speculative as she cast her eyes around, "I was hoping to meet up with my dad first."

Peregrine had been found, though he seemed to be still withdrawn. That was fine. They had undergone a lot of changes in past days; she hated herself for putting them through the same kind of turbulence she had experienced as a child.

But if they could just find Prevost, settle. . .well, wherever. . .

Maegi nodded, her face meditative. I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling ill, she replied. And. . .Meerkat, I am sorry, too, for snapping at you the other day. I was under stress and reacted poorly, but that's not an excuse. I hope you can forgive me for it.

It wouldn't do to make more enemies among the Redhawks, especially not now. Old wounds would have to be mended for the sake of the children. They had made up with Niamh—why not the rest of them?

She hoped her dad would materialize, in part because she realized she wanted to escape this conversation. Meerkat just didn't know how to feel toward Maegi, nor what to say to her. It was easier to just keep it to small talk or, preferably, keep it brief. Maybe she should just go ahead and head out without Phox, catch up with him later.

But then Maegi apologized and the yearling knew she needed to acknowledge it somehow. She brought her roving gaze back to her face, drawing in a slow breath as she processed the words and tried to figure out how to respond. Her inner diplomat wanted to accept the apology at face value and avoid conflict, especially considering what Maegi and Mou had done for her in the past.

Maegi hadn't been there that day when she'd come looking for Phox and Niamh, though she had certainly aided and abetted the whole lie. "Why did you guys lie to us?" she found herself asking, her heart lodging in her throat. She hadn't actually talked to her dad about this in too much detail yet, though it was plain as day they'd kept him in the dark too. "We've been searching, desperate and heartbroken, for months. And you guys knew, that whole time! You knew Niamh was dead and you—you kidnapped the kids. How could you do that to us? We're family."

Younger Maegi might have lost her temper once more, and even older Maegi felt a twinge of annoyance at the reiteration—liar, liar, liar! But Meerkat couldn't berate her worse than Maegi had already berated herself, and so she took it in stride, taking deep, steady breaths while waiting for the girl to finish.

It seems senseless, but I promise there's a reason, she replied, rankled a little at the 'kidnapper' assertion. (Again, already part of her self-loathing catalog.) When Niamh came to the island, she wanted nothing to do with her old life. Didn't want anyone to find her. We assumed something bad had happened, and went on the assumption that the children might be hurt in the process, if we gave them up.

She took a pause, re-gathering herself and her thoughts. I needed to trust Phox before I told him. I needed to know he was a good man. You're young, so you might not have been told this, Maegi went on, giving Meerkat a sympathetic look, but a long time ago, my family and the Redhawks had a war. I saw family members dead and dying because of it. And by virtue of my name, I've never been received warmly by a Redhawk in my life. . .until now.

A weak smile, at that, then she moved on: My husband is in the same situation. I did what I thought was best, Meerkat—to protect myself, my mate, and the children. My family. An emphasis, there, just as Meerkat had done.

Her ears fell flat the moment she finished speaking, sort of wishing she could stuff some of those words back into her mouth. She hadn't meant to become so confrontational! But they were out there now and Meerkat supposed she really did want some answers. So she puffed out a breath and listened.

Several times, she wanted to interrupt. Why had they accepted Niamh's story without asking questions? Those were extreme and life-changing assumptions to make. Hadn't it ever occurred to them that a heavily pregnant she-wolf showing up on their doorstep might not be in her right mind?

She quelled the urge to cut in with these questions. She did know a little bit about the history with the Blackfeathers from Towhee, though if her mother had ever gone into any detail, she really couldn't remember. Really, the only thing she could recollect conclusively was that her mother didn't trust anyone associated with the Blackfeather name or Blackfeather Woods to this day. Meerkat thought briefly of Eldritch.

It was of course tempting to simply take her mother's side, though she wasn't a master ambassador for no reason. She let Maegi finish, then forced herself to really consider it all. Maegi and Mou had rescued her too, no questions asked. The situations were sort of apples and oranges, though it did make the yearling think.

"I loved my Neema but there's no way she was thinking clearly. She," Meerkat said, pausing to find her words, "did so much damage." And, really, she was the one responsible for all of this, though it pained the yearling to place that blame on her, especially since she was gone.

There was a long pause where Meerkat tried to gather some more of her thoughts before saying, "I guess none of it really matters now. What's done is done and we can't change the past. But those pups belong with their dad, our dad," Meerkat said quietly, pale ale eyes seeking and holding Maegi's gaze even though it was hard for her.

Perhaps Maegi and Mou could stay in the children's lives after this, though honestly the yearling couldn't see how. Considering the families' histories and the hideous deceit, could Phox possibly consider that an option? Meerkat didn't think so but it was entirely up to him. She certainly didn't envy him for having to make that eventual judgment call.

It was all well and done. Maegi was relaxed, nodding—until the end. She stiffened, face losing all warmth. 

Phox is their father, she clarified, voice frosty. Mou is their dad. I don't care what happened between Niamh and your family—the fact of the matter is, when those children were born, he was there for them. We were there for them.

Her jaw tightened. Blame us all you want—call us liars, kidnappers, whatever—but without us, those kids would be dead right alongside their mother. I may be sorry for how I treated you, Meerkat, but I will never apologize for the choices I've made.

Unwilling to engage any further, Maegi turned her back and began to pad away, making her way toward the gentler slope she'd taken before. 

Ice had grown around her heart.

They were the only parents the three had ever known, and yet they were on a course to be taken back to the Redhawks. . . So who, exactly, were the kidnappers here?

Maegi's frosty assertion made Meerkat feel something she didn't often experience: true anger. "No," she refuted just as firmly "he isn't." She could feel herself trembling all of a sudden. Was that because of her fury or how vulnerable she felt talking this way to another wolf?

It was short-lived though, because Maegi made a valid point about saving those pups. Meerkat's lips pressed together, feeling the anger redirect in Niamh's direction and flare brightly, red hot, before just as quickly turning blue. Meerkat felt like she could cry, especially after these rough past few days.

She felt another lick of indignation when Maegi turned and left, though she didn't make any effort to call her back. That's what she wanted, right, for this conversation-turned-confrontation to end? She stood there a while, breathing a little hard, swallowing the lump in her throat when she thought of how her uncle was her dad...

And Peregrine, Prevost and Vesper didn't know any better. Maegi and Mou were the only parents they'd ever known. Meerkat felt a flare of sympathy for them. This had the potential for so much confusion and heartbreak because they belonged with Phox but he was a stranger to them. Then she remembered why he was a stranger: because Mou and Maegi had made sure of it.

Stiffly, Meerkat walked off to find her dad.