Redhawk Caldera I love that you shake

It seemed that the Caldera had a mice problem. The furry little things were burrowing for the winter, scurrying about in the cover of night and chewing on stored herbs. A nuisance, but not a threat.

Cinar had taken a liking to them, though not for entirely pure reasons.

Low to the ground, he watched as one wriggled trapped between his paws. There was no real purpose besides grim satisfaction - it would barely be a snack for him.

He knew that he was far too old to be playing with mice like a pup with an overactive prey drive, but what was the harm? He deserved to relax after a long day's work.

Clamping his front paws together, a quiet 'crunch' came from the trapped vermin.

Besides her lakeside confession to @Towhee Jr, she hadn’t mentioned her growing hatred for the caldera to anyone. There was no point, was there? She couldn’t leave. The pups were too young to relocate to a rendezvous site, much less an entirely different territory, and then there was @Killdeer. He had established a legacy of his own now but Towhee imagined it would not go over well if she dipped on him. She wasn’t sure she could live with herself if she let him down.

All of this meant that she felt a bit like a caged tiger these days. She still spent most of her time holed up with @Splendid Fairywren and @Tawny Lark, though the time soon approached when the girls would begin venturing from the den. The Elder didn’t know how to feel about this. What if one of them somehow wandered to the caldera and drowned, as she’d suspected had happened to little Peregrine? Should she proactively take them there and teach them how to swim?

She shot a vile glare at the body of water, then realized there was something situated in her eyeline. It was Cinar. Despite her chronically sour mood, she veered to approach, her head canting to the side when she saw him capture and crush a mouse between his paws. It was somewhat strange behavior, although…

-That looks like fun. Well, maybe “fun” isn’t the right word. It looks like it would be morbidly satisfying,- she remarked as she came to stand over him.

Cinar only turned his head in time to catch the end of Towhee's words, and so he only offered a smile in response. Wiping his paws clean, he felt a bit embarassed having been caught.

He hadn't been as attentive to the elder as he should have been, particularly with all that had transpired. Maybe because he had been too caught up in his own issues, maybe because he couldn't understand why children caused so much stress. It was easy in Siena; the strong survived, the weak were forgotten. You didn't shed tears over lost pups.

How have you been Towhee? He chose to ask, brushing off the whole mouse thing as quickly as he had crushed it.

-Fucking awful,- she answered candidly, unblinking. -How about you?-

She took a seat, falling haphazardly onto her hip with a little grunt. Especially with winter fast approaching, Towhee’s aches and pains had begun to resurface. She noticed it only dimly, even the pain that plagued her leg paling in comparison to the angry grief roiling within her.

-Have I—or maybe Livi—ever told you about Mereo?- she asked out of the blue.

Cinar had meant to prod further, but Towhee changed the subject. He chose to indulge her instead.

No, I don't believe so. Not that he could remember, anyways. Tell me about it.

Leaning down to clean his paws, he kept his eyes on Towhee. Partially to remain attentive, partially because he needed to be able to read her words.

He prompted her to elaborate, so Towhee said, -I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I guess because they were my golden days. It was an outpost of warriors and we trained all day, so it wasn’t an easy life. But damn if it wasn’t fulfilling, having that sense of purpose every day. And the bonds that we formed, they were something else.-

Despite her hatred of the Imperator’s memory, she still looked backed fondly on his days of leadership. Mereo had been unlike any other pack, before or since, and Towhee doubted she would ever recapture the magic of it. Especially without Maxim. The two of them had really built a wonderful life together there, a thing which could never be replicated.

-We lived in a canyon, that-a-way,- she went on, gesturing northeastward, -and we had barracks in these stone dwellings. Then there was the palazzo. That’s where Livi’s litter was born,- she mused, curious whether anything had ever transpired between the two.

She let that thought drift off as the scent of blood slowly dissipated in the winter air. Cinar had cleaned up the mess, though there were still little bones scattered in the dry grass. She blinked down at them and swallowed thickly, orange eyes cutting back to his face.

-I guess I’ve been reminiscing about happier days,- she said, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out in a slow whoosh. -But anyway,- Towhee continued, waving off her random tangent. -What’s going on in your world, Cinar?-

It was hard to imagine that Alivia came from a place like that. But in some ways, he understood the appeal of it. A life without purpose grew dull.

What were you without a sense of purpose?

Oh you know, He cracked a smile, not entirely sure what to tell her. That he was being tortured with snake dreams, that he had seen his mother, that the new Verapaz leader wanted him dead? It's been quiet for me since the hunt. It's too bad you couldn't come.

Though, he supposed she was doing something more important at the time. I've been keeping busy. My lessons with Carolina and Lyric have gone well.

She stiffened a little when reminded of the hunt. It wasn’t fair, though Towhee couldn’t help the small part of herself that blamed her absent pack mates for their role in Peregrine’s disappearance. Would the little one have been able to toddle out of the Hobbit Hole if all its residents had been present? She sincerely doubted it.

Cinar’s mention of her descendants softened the hard look in her eye. It didn’t surprise her at all that they would both be shining pupils. Towhee was certainly biased, though she thought Caro and Ricky were some of the most gregarious pups she’d ever met. They both had such bright futures.

Killer doesn’t need you to stay here. Come springtime, he and Mal will have even more children, and they’ll thrive here, a voice muttered in the back of Towhee’s mind. What about Hotah? The girls? Jr? And Tzar? she argued back. Maybe you’re flattering yourself but I think they’d want to come with you if you left. Livi might too, considering, and then probably Cinar… fuck, you couldn’t do that to Killer.

Unless. Unless…

Before she allowed that train of thought to continue, she blinked and said, -Cuffing season is upon us and it feels like everyone’s pairing off ahead of spring. If you enjoy teaching the pups, what are your thoughts on starting a family of your own?-

Cinar frowned, though it was a fair question.

I'd like to one day. He admitted. But, first I'd like to find a wife. I suppose I'm traditional in that sense.

Traditional when you didn't know about the ten he already had, anways. He supposed that Towhee had seen that side already though.

If I'm to have a family, I'd like it to be a steady one. The family he would acknowledge should be one that felt whole.

-Versus what? An unsteady one?- she couldn’t help but jest, perhaps a bit sardonically. -I think Livi is the only single lady left, not counting myself. And I don’t count because I’m an old,- with a dead heart, to boot. -I have no idea if she has marital or familial aspirations of her own, though if she’s anything like Rue, she’ll be a brilliant mom. She inherited the heart of a Matrona, I think,- she mused, aware the title wouldn’t mean a thing to Cinar.

Of course, he could always seek a mate outside the caldera and bring her home to roost. Or else establish his own territory to raise a family. Anything was possible. Yeah, her inner voice concurred, anything is possible. Including relocating this pack somewhere less fucking terrible. If you led, I bet they’d all follow. Even Killer.

Towhee sucked in a sharp breath, then stowed that thought for another day. She turned her head slightly to peer up at the Hobbit Hole, feeling a sudden tug in that direction. She should get back there soon, though she hated to cut her conversation with Cinar short. Besides, they’d just gotten to the juicy bit.

-You may wanna get on that,- she said, still with a playful light in her otherwise dead eyes. -Especially if you wanna go the traditional route, you gotta build in time to court your lady and all.-

Towhee was probably right. It only got harder to find a woman as you aged.

You're our resident elder, doesn't that mean you're a matchmaker? He was mostly teasing, but it did seem like an old lady activity. You'll need to find me a woman, I have no time for flirting anymore. His schedule was pretty much packed most days - his main social activity was morning stretches with Alivia.

How are.. He trailed off, intending to ask about Towhee's remaining pups, but admittedly he hadn't learned names yet. Your pups. I haven't properly visited yet, I wanted to give your family space while they were still fresh. He hoped that when they were older he could spend some time mentoring them as he was for Lyric and Carolina, but not until they were a bit more.. sentient?

-Wow, that’s ageist and sexist,- Towhee shot back, though she smiled. -Did you not hear what I said about Livi? Her mother was one of my best friends back in the day, so I don’t float her name to you lightly.- She paused, mulling. -If you don’t have time to flirt, then how will you court someone properly? You need to get your priorities straight.-

It was mostly playful banter, though there was some sincerity in the statement. Supposing Alivia even wanted a romance in her life, she deserved someone who would give her the world—and all the time in it. But before Towhee could double down on that, Cinar changed the subject. And unwittingly drove a rusty stake into her heart.

-Well, my sons are both dead,- she said with an edge of bitterness that was aimed solely at herself. -You don’t have to do that. “Give us space.” You’re part of this family now, Cinar. Come by soon and I’ll introduce you to the girls.-