Northstar Vale Rack and ruin.

She wondered if she was losing her mind. It sort of felt that way, especially when her thoughts ran away from her and took such dark roads. Towhee tried to distract herself by focusing on her kids—literally, not just figuratively. Recalling some tricks from Raven’s “yogurt” lessons of yore, she started to describe them to herself, her lips moving soundlessly.

Someone darted into her visual field much closer at hand. Towhee’s heart leaped into her throat as her brain screamed, Maxim?! The build and fur color were right, though everything else was all wrong. She should’ve been thrilled to see her friend—a  little worse for wear but clearly happy to see her—but she felt crushed by the weight of disappointment.

And that, in turn, pissed her off with abrupt and breathtaking intensity. Was she really going to live her life haunted by hope of Maxim’s return? It reminded her of the way she thought she’d see Leona out of the corner of her eye all the time following her death. That had been horrible and this was somehow worse. Leo was dead and gone. Eventually Towhee’s mind had accepted that and her daughter no longer haunted her at every turn. But there were no answers when it came to Maxim. There was no closure.

Fuck, Towhee seethed, turning her head away from poor Aquene for a moment to collect herself and try to tamp down this fire suddenly raging in her chest. Aquene, she mumbled a moment later, still not looking at her friend. I thought… Towhee almost lied, then let the truth ooze out of her like blood. I thought you were Maxim.