Northstar Vale artificer

It’s similar to a deer but smaller and fatter, Towhee replied without missing a beat. Instead of antlers, pigs have tusks: big, pointy teeth. They’re ugly fuckers, mean too.

Towhee cleared her throat, then continued, I thought I was just bruised. But instead of getting better, the pain got worse and worse as the days passed. I was having trouble patrolling and kept having to take swims in a nearby river to help with it.

One day, it got so bad, it was radiating down my back. It occurred to me that it might just be gas. Have you ever had a big fart trapped inside of you? It can hurt so bad. I tried everything to express it but it just would not come out. I wore myself out trying and eventually gave up and fell asleep.

I woke up a bit later and knew I was about to have the worst diarrhea of my whole life. My family was sleeping nearby, so I tried to make a run for it, but it just came out of me in a big gush. I passed a turd so huge, I thought it tore my insides on its way out. It definitely felt like it. I started to pass out, thinking I was dying.

And then, Towhee said, pausing, my turd looked up at me.