Redhawk Caldera In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree

It took him some time to make the voyage, and he was careful to wander a bit aimlessly along the way, occasionally driven by indecision, occasionally by the worry that he might be followed. He again employed every trick he had for losing his trail, following streams, doubling back on his trail, and scent collecting. So by the time he reached the incline, the mud and dirt in his pelt had dried and he was full of burdocks and beggars ticks. He also found some coyote scat and had rolled in that as well, so he was as disguised as could be when he called out.

His voice was raspy and thin, and wavered. He tried to fib his tone a bit so it wouldn't sound like his voice. @Fennec should have made her way back by now he thought, though he wasn't sure if she would be the first to greet him or if someone else might greet him first. Regardless, he hoped that whoever did show up was willing to forgive him, and grant him acceptance despite the fact that he was potentially still being hunted.

Fennec hadn't told @Killdeer about Bronco. It hadn't been hard to hide; his paranoia had made it so their scents barely mingled, and by the time she returned to the Caldera (late that evening, later than usual) any trace had faded entirely. She could almost convince herself that it hadn't happened.

She would rather he be a surprise than a disappointment. She couldn't shake her pessimism and couldn't bring herself to have to risk explaining why his father hadn't chosen him, in the end, after all. It was better if he just didn't ever know.

Fennec knew she'd given him an ultimatum and wondered if Bronco would resent her for that. Probably. Whatever they might have had once was likely gone now, any chance at a good thing vanished with the way she'd responded to him. She didn't regret it. She hadn't said anything she didn't mean, and the threat hadn't been an empty one. Every word of it was true. She simultaneously hoped for and dreaded his arrival.

The call was off but she still heard his voice somewhere in it. Who else could it be? Fennec's chest hitched even as her stomach turned anxiously, but she didn't hesitate as she turned and picked up the haunch she'd left, waiting, and began to walk towards the summons. She'd spent the prior day combing the area and her ravens had brought her to where an elderly elk had perished in the heat. It was stringier than she had hoped but it was fresh... she hoped he wouldn't mind.

She wouldn't outright call it a peace offering, but maybe a part of her hoped it would help.

As she approached, her ears pricked first right, then left.... seeking any sign of where he waited. She gripped the bone harder, teeth digging in, trying to calm her nerves.

He panted softly while he waited. The slope was steeper than he'd recalled, and he was still quite weak from the time he'd spent running. He's curled up beneath the low-hanging boughs of a spruce tree and he tensed when he thought he heard someone padding along nearby. His own sense of smell was compromised by the collection of scents he'd added to his own. 

Even now, though, that first glimpse of pale beige fur made him think first of his mother before he recognized that it was Fennec. He'd hardly spared a thought for his Mom, who he assumed was still missing, and it made him feel a bit guilty...But his frustration with her hadn't passed either. If she hadn't been such a proud, stubborn mule, then he could have met his younger siblings, and he wouldn't have gone through everythin he'd gone through while he'd been out looking for her. 

"Fenn," He hissed, and he slowly pushed his head out between two boughs. Bless her soul- she was carrying a mouthful of meat with her and the sight of it made his stomach rumble so fiercely that it made the loose skin and fur along his bony ribs ripple.

Her head turned to train on the sound as he hissed her name and she found him immediately. She hadn't been able to scent him either, but as she approached, she heard the rumble of his stomach clear as day. She'd remembered - it was hard not to notice how light he'd been.

She didn't really know what to say now. They'd both said a hell of a lot before and, short of anger, emotional minefields were something she usually dodged out of. She set the meat down and took a step back from it, then sat down. Here. She hadn't brought it for them to share.

She stayed silent while he ate, wondering. If no one else showed, should she bother calling them? Fennec wasn't a leader here anymore. The hurt of that argument with her mom was still raw, as was the guilt over some of the things she'd said. Not enough to apologize, but when was it ever?

Welcome back. It wasn't an apology or a thanks. It wasn't half of what it should have been and it was probably pretty clear, if he was paying attention, that Fennec was awkwardly sparse with the words. She wouldn't bother calling, instead waiting patiently for him to finish eating. Luckily there was more where that came from as well; she'd probably need to make another trip before nightfall.

He was somewhat relieved that he'd surprised her. If he could fool her sense of smell, he had a chance of maybe fooling the hunters again. There was no way of knowing if they'd give up the chase eventually or if he would always be a target, but he'd just have to live through that paranoia for now. If he just continued running, he risked the chance that Fennec might go looking, and fall into harm's path. 

He hesitated only long enough after she'd dropped the meat, waiting for her to step back and indicate that it was for him before he lunged forward. He skidded to a stop and grabbed it, hastily tearing it apart and swallowing chunks of it without delay. He growled softly as he did so, his hackles lifted slightly as he inhaled the offering of food as quickly as he could. Once finished, he snuffled around a bit, nipping up the last bits that he'd missed before until there was nothing left. 

He hadn't heard her speak, but sighed heavily, suddenly more full than his stomach had expected itself to be. "Fuck. Thank you," He wheezed, probably more earnest and appreciative than he'd ever felt for anything before. His stomach ached already- he'd eaten too much too fast, but it wasn't like he could control himself, and it felt good to be full. 

"We should...Can we go? Just....further in?" He asked, not wanting to wait long on the borders lest his scent linger there. He wanted to go back to the den and fall aslee where he might finally feel safe and sound but then again...That was where Fennec lived, probably, with Killdeer and all things considered, he might not be welcome there. He knew better than to insist that he rejoin them immediately. "I can...I could sleep anywhere, to be honest." He croaked, and coughed quietly, clearing his throat a bit.

She was distracted but did manage to note that he was eating way too fast. Well, if he threw it up, he'd have to wait at least a bit before she'd have time to go for seconds. Her mouth twitched up in a slight smile at his thanks, but she didn't say anything until he asked about going.

Yeah. We can. She stood and listened for anyone approaching but the surroundings were silent. If anyone had a problem, they could take it up with her - she wouldn't mind setting them straight. C'mon.

She led the way down a route Bronco would probably know, one that would end at a familiar den. It occurred to her that maybe he would refuse but that was his prerogative to do so - now that he was here, it didn't even cross her mind to keep him away from his son. In fact, she was more than a little insistent on the opposite.

Yet all the while, as they walked, she could feel herself waiting for the other shoe to drop. The entire time with him so far she was anticipating it... and she wasn't even sure what it was. Some inevitable declaration - that he would only be staying a while, that he wanted her to stay away, that suddenly his footsteps would vanish and she'd turn to find him gone.

He may not be there. He spends a lot of time with Caracal. Fennec said, hoping he would be. If not she would go find him - she didn't want to delay this any longer than need be. Bronco could catch some sleep while she did but, even tired, she imagined Killdeer would want to see him.

It surprised him quite a bit to find himself being led toward the den they'd shared...But there qas no telling of course if she'd moved out, and into another area and was simply leading hin to a den he could have on his own. Did she want him to stay away from Killdeer? Did she want him to sleep somewhere else? It bothered him, not being comfortable to ask those questions, but greater still was the fear that simply asking them, or even just thinking those things, might anger her.

So he followed in silence, figuring it would be best for her to outline boundaries rather than asking. She'd show him, he figured. But it did rattle him to bite his tongue when he wanted to be absolutely certain he wouldn't do anything to make her upset.

When she spoke of Killdeer, he was grateful for a conversation topic...And it indicated to him that she was actually leading him to their former den, which she currently still inhabited. It didn't bother him to hear that Killdeer was probably out playing with Caracal- it was nice knowing he had friends, and that he was independent enough to be out with them...It also meant that his kid had grown up a great deal without him. He tried to be pleased but...He'd missed so much. "What's he, uhm...What's he like?" He rasped, his heart throbbing gently. He shouldn't have had to ask that question. He should have been there.

Fennec saw the opportunity to double down but didn't even feel any temptation to take it. Harping on it and pulling more guilt trips than she already had wouldn't make anything better and... she knew better. Because while a good solid portion of her anger was still settled on him, there was another part focused silently inward.

Talking about Killdeer had been for her benefit as well because there were very few things in the Caldera, right now, that could make her genuinely smile. He might have been the only one after the shit that went down with her mom.

He's pretty great. Her expression softened with a mixture of pride and something deeper before curling into a smirk. A pain in the ass sometimes, but he never gives up. Even when he really should. Luckily his mom was hard headed too. He... cares a lot, though. I think he picked that up from you.

She wasn't comfortable with admissions like that and it itched, even afterwards, like she was trying to win points or something. But she wasn't. She just... maybe didn't want him to think he'd been forgotten completely, even if only a seemingly short time ago she'd been insistent on it.

While she had tried to shield him from most of it, Killdeer had been her rock through all of this. Without him, Bronco would have returned to find her gone. She knew there was hypocrisy there... and she'd hated it from the moment she'd realized it. She'd tried so hard to prove that she wasn't that wolf anymore, but first real test and she'd botched that. Maybe that was who she always would be.

Pain and regret mingled with amusement and pride when she spoke of Killdeer. To him, it sounded like they'd had a great kid. Ambitious, stubborn, playful...But none of that had anything to do with his influence. He'd been gone before Killdeer had even opened his eyes; there was nothing about him that Killdeer could look up to, or hear, and remember who he was. 

He sighed softly. He wasn't sure if Fennec was trying to extend an olive branch by saying that Killdeer did seem a bit like his father, but the quality she said they shared nearly broke his heart. She said that he cared...A lot. He felt his throat grow sore, and he had to clear it as he fought back a surprised noise. 

She still felt like he cared?

It made him feel bad- because he did care, very very much. He'd done what he could to lead the hunters away to keep them safe, even though it had made him reckon with the atrocious fact that he might never see them again in the process. But he'd been too soft to disappear forever, too attached. 

"I guess we'll, uh," And he was treading as lightly as he could while also trying not to allow the overwhelming surge of emotion to wreck him again, "Have our paws busy," He said. A dreadful fear caught him, and he froze for a moment before he swallowed hard and asked. "Are you...Will you...Do you...You want me to be around him? I.....I missed you both so, so much," The effort he'd taken to conceal his feelings failed him. now. "An' I want...I want to just...Be here, for both of you but I....I-I-I know maybe...If you feel differently...You're his Mom." His heart raced. The last thing he wanted was for her to put up boundaries to keep him from his son but...If she chose to do that, it wasn't as though he hadn't had it coming.

She didn't notice the effect her statement had on him, but she liked that he said 'our'. It helped a bit to soothe the skittish knot that was wound up within her, but every time, it seemed harder to let it go. Why did this seem to happen every time she finally let her guard down?

Fuck, he was an idiot. No. I brought you back here just to torture you, not so you could be his dad. Are you kidding? She huffed out an incredulous laugh. God, she'd forgotten. If she asked him to, would he seriously even let her make him walk away? She didn't know how she felt about that. On the one hand, it showed how fucking guilty he felt. On the other, she hated how he said it. Your his mom. Like he was releasing his claim on him, like that was a thing he could even do.

He was so excited when she'd had Killdeer, and now.... this.

You're his dad, Bronco. I don't care what's happened before now. I care about what you're going to do going forward, and all I need to know is that you are going to care about him as much as I do. They were drawing closer... she could tell, and the volume of her voice dropped some. She didn't want him to overhear if he happened to be nearby.

When she said the word "torture" he shied away slightly, and balked. His throat clenched and he tucked his tail tighter as though the mere mention of the word stung him. As a result, he didn't respond, but forced himself to start walking forward away again, just...A couple feet further away from Fennec.

It seemed, though, that maybe she'd forgiven him. She'd have to have forgiven him to not care that he'd been gone, but he felt still that she was missing some of the picture. Bronco had left- but he wasn't himself, now. And he felt she was expecting a lot from someone in his shape. Maybe, thiugh, she just didn't quite understand exactly how profoundly he was impacted by what he'd been through.

But he could do this. He had to.

"I will. I do. I just...Will he...Be OK, with...Me? He won't even remember me, I don't think, and I...I dunno, I don't wanna overwhelm...Or not meet his expectations." He naturally worried if he'd be enough. If Fennec had told Killdeer about him, it certainly wouldn't have been anything that would suit him now- injured, nearly emaciated, and practically incapacitated by his own fear.

She didn't have the patience for this. As much as she was trying, she could feel it fraying. It wasn't her fault, or Killdeer's, that he'd cut them out of the equation. That he hadn't asked for their input, or their permission, before removing himself from their lives completely. And now his worry was in how his son might see him? Fuck that.

We're going to have to find out. Her tone wasn't mean or harsh, but it was firm. She couldn't answer his questions because honestly.... she didn't know. She knew how she felt, but Killdeer wasn't her. She could see aspects of herself in him, but like she'd said, there was more to him that she couldn't claim. Kids were forgiving by nature. Her guess? He'd be thrilled. He wouldn't give two shits because the instant he knew Bronco was his dad, so long as Bronco acted like it, something would be there that wasn't before.

It was tempting for Fennec to bring up Bronco's own dad, because how would he have felt? But she didn't. Something about him felt off, something that she was having a hard time recognizing and sympathizing with, and she didn't want to push it. There was a lot being left unsaid as a result.

Hey @Killdeer, you here? They were close enough now that she might be able to call him, and she didn't wait. She slowed down in her walk, listening for him as well as Bronco, who seemed to be trailing a little farther than before. Fennec didn't move to close the gap, focusing instead on making this reunion happen.

I figure you can join here or y'all can have another thread if you like! if she doesn't find him we can wrap this ourselves <3

He left alone the bone he was gnawing on and trotted happily toward his mother's call, though he grew more wary as he approached. There was another scent with hers, and as he burst through the brush, his eyes narrowed at the sight of the unfamiliar wolf.

Who you?! Killer barked interrogatively, slipping between Fennec and the stranger. His golden gaze was curious but sharp, dressing down the man with no hesitation.

He was bulky and brown, not reminding Killdeer of anyone all too much, but his myriad scars were quite interesting. He glanced over them, following their jagged curves. He'd been bit a little hard by Cackle the other day, and thought it might scar over, but no dice. He'd have to wait a little longer for battle souvenirs.

Something he'd felt before reared its ugly head when she purposefully avoided, once again, offering him any sort of consolation or encouragement. He felt wronged, somehow, to be treated like this. He'd done what was in their best interest- and still ended up feeling as though she felt she was the victim. It felt hypocritical, with her being as firm as she was. She'd run off before, and had chosen to do so- but he hadn't crucified her for it. He'd gone looking, and had done what he could to bring her back. He didn't blame her for not going to search for him- she had Killdeer to take care of- but still, it felt like she wanted him to feel bad about what had happened.

 He thought ruefully that she might understand a bit better if she had been the one who had been abducted, abused, and then chased down mercilessly. But he felt bad immediately for even thinking that it might at least give her perspective- he wouldn't have wished that experience on anyone. 

So he was a bit absent when she called out, and within seconds, a young fellow emerged that was nothing like what Bronco remembered. This creature had the same markings, true, but in every other way he had changed- the promise of potential so vivid in the lustre of his coat and gleam of his eyes. He posed a question in a voice so eversweet and youthful that it caused a pain to spread through his chest. 

Part of him wanted to just say he was a friend of his mother's, and then discreetly wander off into the night. He didn't deserve to have a son like this. His self esteem, which had been dubious at best, was now almost completely shattered. Were it not for the firm, intimidating presence of Fennec, Bronco might have done just that. As it was, she'd already made him feel like he had chosen to run off and desert them, and that he now owed them greatly. If he lied...He'd likely regret it for the rest of his life which wouldn't be long. 

He was bold, like his mother, and it intimidated him to see, knowing that perhaps he'd missed the window to potentially temper any inclination he might have toward becoming a warrior like his mother. The thought of seeing his son get in fights, get hurt, risk his safety or worse terrified him. He'd not really had the time to consider how much fear came hand in hand with becoming a parent- but he began to realize it now. 

He wasn't fit to smile, or meet his son's bravado with the pride he should have felt when he saw how healthy he looked. He was overwhelmed, and it likely showed in how blank his expression became. "Well, Killdeer," Came his dry and ragged voice, "I'm your father."

It had been a long time since Fennec had given much thought to her blindness. The world was just the way it was now and she navigated it fine... but in the silence between moments like this, occasionally, she felt the lack. She knew instinctually that there was something she was missing, something above the intake of breath.

Killer had approached as boldly and questioningly as ever and it managed to bring a small smile to her face. The expression this time, though, didn't go quite as deep as it had when she'd first spoken about him.

She was going to let Bronco do the talking unless asked. She'd stay where she was, a silent listener, but this had never been her explanation to give or story to tell. All she did was give Killdeer a small nudge of encouraging confirmation before drawing back once more.

feel free to skip me!

The silence lasted way too long. He looked back and forth between the two before one finally spoke, and when they did. . .

He— Like. . . Your pappy? he asked, looking at Fennec, referring to the meeting between them and Phox. But—my pappy?

Holy butts, this was confusing. He stared hard at Bronco, brow very furrowed.

His head tilted. A small gasp escaped his maw. Where you. . . He trailed off, unable to form his thoughts into words. He was just as confused as when Towhee had told him about hers and Fennec's disability. Maybe even more so.

He let a breath out fast, hard, through his nostrils. Stared at the ground. I. . .

It was fairly apparent that Fennec was willing to give them a bit of space and time to test the waters with each other. She wasn't coddling him, the way Niamh had coddled young Primrose. She was building him to be an independent creature, one who would learn at a young age how to handle the twists and turns of life without being shielded from absolutely everything. 

"Uhm?" Lacking the context to know that Fennec had explained to Killdeer that Phox was her father. It pained him to see his own son not even really grasp the concept of what a father was; and that was all his fault. "Your uh, pappy, yes," he said, glancing to Fennec and hoping for some sort of affirmation or correction if 'pappy' wasn't the right term. Maybe it was the word for grandfather, he didn't know. He hadn't been around to know what Killdeer called Phox. 

Killdeer didn't look much like him either, so he imagined it'd be harder for him to grasp based on their last of resemblance. The kid looked more like Towhee than anyone, in terms of markings, Bronco thought, but he didn't mind so much. As long as he didn't end up bearing the same scars as his father....He'd be proud of however his son looked. 

He drew in a ragged breath and cleared his throat, trying to figure out what to tell him. Obviously, not all the gruesome details. He hadn't even told Fennec the extent of it- and he wasn't sure he wanted to. She probably wouldn't mind him being at least somewhat honest, and he figured she might actually resent him a bit if he lied. The least he could do, now, was be honest. 

"I've been away," He croaked, and had to chuff to clear his throat a bit. It ached. "I...Ran into a bit of trouble when I went out to look for my Mom- your grandma- and...I was gone a lot longer than I should've been." He explained slowly, his voice crackling and rasping lightly. He was exhausted, and this was all a bit overwhelming for him. He felt as though his body might start trembling, or that his legs might crumple beneath him, so he sat down. "I'm sorry, kiddo...I just wanted to do what was best for you an' your Ma. I know an apology won't cut it, but....I'm back, now." Though that didn't imply he ought to be forgiven, either. He wasn't sure he'd ever forgive himself, let alone assume his family would. "You're a lot bigger'n what I remembered...Your Ma's been feeding you pretty good, eh?"

Fennec heard the hesitation in his voice but it was true. This was something for him to sort out and she couldn't help her son any more than she could Bronco. All that she could do was help clarify.

Exactly. She was glad that she'd gotten 'pappy' to stick for Phox, though she didn't know if Bronco would thank her for it now. It was pretty apparent by this point she'd avoided speaking of him while he was gone. She'd known that, if she brought it up, he'd have wanted answers. And by providing them she'd have had to speak as if Bronco wasn't there - and, likely, wasn't coming back. She hadn't been able to do that.

Or like Reyes. Caracal's dad. She gave further context. It was a different situation and not the greatest example, but they didn't have a whole lot to work with here. Despite his eviction, Reyes was likely the most present father figure they'd had in the Caldera.

Bronco didn't lie or short change the situation, and he was right again. She appreciated it. Kids were smart, and especially hers. Killer could handle the truth, albeit missing any messier details.

He absorbed it all, drinking it in to his neurons, his bloodstream. This was his pappy. His father. He stared at Bronco, his golden eyes burning into that dark brown face. Trying to absorb all of those words.

None of them really mattered. Not even Fennec's.

CAN YOU SEE ME? HEAR ME?

His voice came loud and hard at Bronco, bouncing off his skull. Or— He quickly flashed the ptero for 'butts' at his father. You unnerstand that??

It was a crucial moment. Maybe Bronco didn't know it as such, but Killdeer stared hard at his father, spine stiff.

While Bronco had lost his father when he'd been young, he carried with him fond memories of a man who had cherished him. Someone who had been gentle and funny, who took his brutish childhood attitude in stride, unlike his mother who had sought to run the nastiness out of him. If only they could see him now, he thought. Ruefully, he knew his mother would be disappointed. 

But Killdeer was something he could be proud of- and he could see to it now that his first child would not be raised to become a wolf like Niamh. And while he bristled lightly and boldly demanded a few questions of him, Bronco somehow found it relatively easy to stay calm and feel somewhat amused about the boy's questions. 

He'd been learning, then, about the different ways the Redhawks communicated. "Yep, and yep. I can see you and hear you," He said, "-And I know what that means too.-" He signed, amused. "-Your Grandma, Towhee, taught me all sorts of fun words in Ptero. Here, lemme show you this one-" He said. He wouldn't mouth the words or speak, but silently, he signed. -You have a smelly butt.- He repeated it. "Know what that means?" He asked.

From her place to the side, Fennec listened as the two met for the first time. It was complicated. She was nervous, both for what this would mean for Killdeer and what it would mean for her, but she was also in a large part relieved. When he didn't come back, she'd been unexpectedly left to do a job alone that she'd known all along he was going to be better at. It didn't matter if she'd kicked ass at it - she'd been dropped in the deep end and was bound to have screwed at least a few things up.

She could hear the movements as they slipped in and out of ptero. She was always grateful that others seemed to keep it to a minimum around her. It was a way of speaking that she knew her mother needed sometimes, but it excluded her entirely from following. Right now she didn't mind it and, silently, she slipped off to find something more for them to eat. Bronco seemed to have everything under control here. She'd be back with dinner for the three of them.