Sun Mote Copse Elddansurin.

Things felt as official and settled as they ever would, so Towhee decided it was time to make another call, this time at the copse. More than a month had passed since her visit with @Niamh and much had come to pass but she hadn't forgotten her promise. Leaving word with @Phox, she departed the grove under a cloudy sky, grateful for the break in the heat as she traveled through the sweep and around the fringes of the bog.

Despite her best efforts to stay dry, it was a damp Redhawk who appeared on the Firebirds' doorstep. She gave her coat a shake, then tipped her snout skyward to howl. Towhee paused at the last second, eyeballing the thunderclouds gathering overhead, then let loose. She called for no one in particular, simply announcing herself as Towhee from Asterism Grove, here to say "hello," then settled in to wait. She had a feeling she was going to get even wetter.

what r timelines!

Fin had been resting at the edge of the rendezvous site watching Crow and Pox attempting to eat beetles when she heard Towhee's call. Her heart had twisted into a painful knot instantly upon hearing her voice. It had been waaaaaaaay too long since she'd seen her god daughter. So, deeming the pups in good company with Eljay laying about nearby, she had slipped away to head towards the borders.

When she spotted Towhee near the edge of the trees, her heart had given another almost painful surge of emotion. She moved as quick as her bum hip would allow to close the gap between them, her tail wagging and face smiling all the way. "Hey, you look familiar!" she said once she was near enough, reaching up an arm to pull her daughter into a wolfy hug and sniffling into her ear affectionately.

They hadn't seen one another for nearly two months (when Towhee had met the baby Blackthorns) but it was like no time had passed at all as Finley embraced her. Towhee snuffled against her godmother's cheek, recoiling with a laugh when Finley did the same to her; it tickled! Moving back just far enough to look her aunt in the face, the mercenary smiled affectionately at the woman.

-"Hey, it's really good to see you. How are you and Uncle El? And not to forget Foxface, Quivery, Cudgel and Suave Sock."- They might have sounded like niceties but Towhee was genuinely invested in her godmother's answer, settling on her haunches and giving Finley's lips her full attention.

As Fin stepped back, she did the required mom-check and looked her goddaughter over for any signs of injury or malnourishment. She looked good, though a bit too skinny. She had always run on the leaner side, though, so Fin didn't mention it.

-"All Blackthorns are doing pretty well,"- she said, pleased to find her ptero still in good shape in spite of not using it for a while, -"We moved all the kids to the rendezvous site, so they're well distracted now with systematically destroying the entire Copse. Colt and Niamh had their pups--did you know that already?"- It seemed like something she might've known already, but Fin didn't want to assume and be wrong.

The family was doing great, which was music to Towhee's useless ears. She smiled at the update, then nodded her head and replied, -"Yep, I've met them too. I totally believe that the puppies are taking over the copse. Aren't you guys outnumbered, like, two to one or something?"-

Although Towhee wasn't much invested in her eldest Blackthorn brother, the mention of "all the kids" and her knowledge of Finley's adoration of Eljay prompted her to ask, -"How're Eljay and his two holding up?"- She hated to bring up sad stuff, yet she truly wondered how Elfie and Weejay were coping now that their mother had been gone a while. Too bad they didn't have someone rad like her to step up like she'd done after Camilla's death (or did they?).

Fin wasn't surprised to hear that Towhee knew already about Niamh's children, nor that she'd actually met them. Okay well the second part was a little surprising, but Fin had never fooled herself into thinking she knew about everything that went on in the Copse. She wasn't concerned with things like that; she was more concerned with spending her golden years raising her kids and enjoying her time with her family. Pack matters were definitely Colt's problem now. -"Most days it feels like we're outnumbered 10 to .5, actually,"- she quipped back with a little smirk that was quick to fall as the topic shifted.

-"Elfie and Weejay are doing well,"- Fin answered, -"Weejay struggled for a while, but she's in a good place now. Eljay though... Well. He's Eljay."- Fin bit her lip gently as she thought of her eldest son. Eljay didn't seem as though he was ever going to come back to them. -"I still hope he'll come back to us, but I don't know,"- she admitted softly, -"Maybe we made a mistake stepping in with his kids. Maybe if he'd been the one left responsible for helping them heal, it would've brought him back. Given him a reason to make himself recover. Now... I don't know how to bring him out of this."-

Towhee felt comically chagrined when she realized those kids totally did have some great substitutes, the very same ones she'd had while growing up: Finley herself and, of course, Elwood too. It sounded like they'd stepped in to help, though Finley had doubts about the wisdom of said intervention. Towhee took a different view, admittedly. If those kids had been left to Eljay alone, they probably would've grown up just as emotionally stunted as him. She would never say that out loud though.

-"You made the right call. You said yourself they're doing well, that's what matters. Anyway, they say it takes a village,"- Towhee replied, then thought about how to address Eljay's apparent depression. -"I don't think there's anything anyone else can do, aside from being there and being supportive. The rest is up to Eljay."- That was the frank truth of it, as far as she was concerned, and the mercenary didn't bother voicing her doubts about whether he had the fortitude to overcome this tragedy. If his kids weren't reason enough, then...

A thought struck her and Towhee's head cocked. -"I wonder if Phox could talk to him, if it would make any difference. He lost his mate too. They were together about the same period of time. Granted, Phox didn't know Camilla their entire lives... and Wildfire wasn't a total whackjob... but..."-

Fin didn't know why she was being so open with Towhee. Well, no, that's not an accurate statement. It wasn't why she was being open, it was why she had decided to open up that was the truly perplexing thing. She'd done her best to keep quiet and remain the eternal optimist for her family in an effort to keep them strong. Maybe because Towhee seemed outside of all of this, Fin knew she could say whatever she felt without it dragging her goddaughter down into the depths of sorrow the rest of them were swimming in.

Whatever the case, Fin was immediately glad that she had turned emo on her, for Towhee was kind enough to deliver the sentiments she'd needed to hear. She nodded gently, knowing the kilonova was right--Who knows where Elfie and Weejay would be now if she and the rest of the pack hadn't stepped in to take over. They were just kids. She couldn't have risked letting them sink for Eljay's sake. Still, if she were being honest with herself, she would've been disappointed by her eldest son's failure to pull himself back out for their sakes.

Her ears perked at the recommendation. She had never really considered Camilla's death on quite the same tragedy level as Wildfire's, but certainly it must have affected her godson. The situation wasn't quite the same--Phox and Camilla didn't have the history that Wildfire and Eljay had. But still, losing a mate was losing a mate, and Fin wasn't in a position to say no. "I'll take any help I can get," Fin said, smiling a little, "Even if it's from a guy that fell for a whackjob." Her smile broadened a bit into a grin.

"I asked Liffey to send Rannoch over to talk to him too," she added, "He's a counselor. I'm hoping Raven too can come visit him--she's definitely someone who loved Wildfire best." Though to be fair, Fin would've asked a random squirrel to come intervene if there was even a shred of hope that it might help her son. Raven and Rannoch definitely had a higher likelihood of success, though.

Towhee tittered under her breath as Finley took a shot at Phox, knowing there was no malice to it. She had come to accept Camilla in time, though she still looked back on that pairing with an eyebrow raised. Fig and Fen had come of it though, so Towhee would hardly regret any of it on her brother's behalf.

It sounded like Eljay had a whole host of counselors headed his way, not to mention his built-in support system, so maybe Phox's input wouldn't even be necessary. Towhee wasn't sure what else to add at this point. They'd all lost loved ones, Towhee included, and nobody else had just stopped living life. That was selfish and weak, though she wouldn't dare say that either.

-"Hey, I spoke to Rave recently and we talked about trading kids, in more than one sense,"- Towhee quipped, changing the subject entirely, -"meaning she plans to send hers my way to learn about being guardians and warriors, while I send mine to her to learn about medicine and whatnot. Towhee's boot camp and Raven's medical school, she called it. We'd love for the Firebirds to be involved too, of course. I was thinking you guys could take the lead on hunting classes or whatever? Thoughts?"-

The conversation seemed to slip from their grasp then. Finley was alright with that--it was a rather somber affair and she always preferred more light-hearted topics. So, she was glad when Towhee pivoted and brought up a conversation she and Raven had had. A smile twitched across her lips at the idea that was presented.

-"Sounds like a neat idea,"- she admitted thoughtfully, -"El and I could probably manage some hunting lessons, though I don't do much of that these days. Maybe Elwood could do the hunting and I can teach them the family history."- It wasnt the most important thing for them to learn, but it was certainly up there. They were the newest additions to the Redhawk x Blackthorn legacy, after all.

-"My boys are a bit of a handful, though, I should warn you. I think they get it from Elwood."- Fin added after a moment, grinning.

Towhee smiled at Finley's positive feedback. -"That'd work too,"- she replied, dipping her snout as her godmother volunteered as resident historian instead. That was one of the Kilonova's trades too, though one she considered much less important than guardianship. So she'd gladly let Finley take the reigns in that realm, with Elwood hopefully becoming head hunter.

She chuckled at her aunt's joke, then said, -"I mean, aren't all kids kind of a gigantic pain in the dick? I mean, we love 'em but damn, they're had work. They better take good care of us when we're old and decrepit,"- Towhee mused, making her best grumble face.

Fin smiled at Towhee's comments regarding kids, wondering now about the pair she was raising alongside her brother. She had yet to meet them, but she had learned a few things here and there.

-"I wouldn't count on that if I were you,"- Fin replied with a wistful smirk, -"Took me a while to learn this, but kids have a habit of making their own way in the world and don't often stick around to look after us needy old bastards. There are some exceptions, of course,"- she paused to give a pointed look at her goddaughter, -"But that's why you gotta have like ninety of the little jerks--better chance of hitting the jackpot with at least one"-

In the same lighthearted vein, Finley reminded her that most children grew up and went off on their own rather than hanging back to look after their elderly parents. She went on to tell Towhee she just needed to make more, to up the odds of one staying close to home. All of this gave her a bit of a pang in her chest as she was reminded that she unfortunately could not follow in her godparents' extremely prolific footsteps.

She almost didn't mention it, because why should she bring down the bantering mood with something so serious? Towhee remembered when she'd let slip to Raven, yet her sister hadn't seemed to hear and she'd been grateful for that. She really hadn't confided in anyone about this, except Rye in a roundabout way. Even her own brother didn't know. But suddenly she really wanted someone to understand and who better than her most trusted matriarch?

-"Well, damn. I think this was my one and only shot,"- she admitted, inserting the joke so it wasn't so heavy. -"I assume Phox will have more kids over the years, though I won't be their mother,"- unless some really horrible, tragic luck hit them again. -"And I'm pretty sure I can't have any of my own."- There was a nameless emotion in her orange eyes as they flicked to Finley's face before they wandered off into the woods as she added, -"Good thing fifty percent of my kids can't even see to wander off anywhere."- It was a joke, of course, and Towhee didn't actually think for a minute that her blindness should hold Fen back, if she wanted to explore; and she also knew Fig wouldn't allow that either.

Fin didn't realize she had touched on a sensitive spot, not even after Towhee had begun to respond. After a moment, though, she saw through the bravado to the true feelings underneath. Like Towhee, she wasn't typically one to let the full gravity of a situation weigh down on her, but she found herself too curious to understand just where her goddaughter's ascersion had come from to lighten the situation with a wry quip.

"What makes you think that?" she asked with a slight tilt of her head. She knew about Towhee's ..ehm.. downstairs situation (probably?), but she was clearly no biologist (or whatever you'd need to be) to understand that it might mean Towhee couldn't carry children. She paused for a second, then realized she might need to clarify which of Towhee's comments she was addressing before adding, "I mean, that you can't have kids?"

It didn't play out the way it had with Rave. Finley heard and expressed curiosity. Towhee let out a breath, deciding this was what she wanted, after all: to tell someone. Even after all this time, she still wasn't sure how she felt about it. Maybe her godmother could help her sort out her feelings on the matter.

-"Uh, well... I banged a bunch of dudes when I was in heat and yet I didn't,"- Towhee explained, pausing as she tried to remember the right word, -"quicken? Fall pregnant? Get knocked up?"- Yeah, any of those phrases would convey the general idea. -"I mean, I was the town bicycle for a solid week and... nada."- She shrugged a little self-consciously, glancing once more off into the woods.

Fin listened quietly as Towhee explained. She didn't judge her for the promiscuity at all--being in heat could be friggin' anarchy sometimes, no denying it. Fin probably would've had a year or two like that herself back in her early days had she not been aggressively adamant that she take zero risks in winding up a "soggy, worn out old milk bag" like her mother (Fun fact: Colt had always cringed whenever Fin used that terminology in front of him to describe their poor mom).

But in spite of what Towhee said was true--which she didn't doubt was the case--Fin wasn't entirely convinced that this meant it would never happen. -"Hmm... Well, never say never,"- Finley replied, -"I've heard of stranger things happening. Your mom went into heat once, banged your dad a whole bunch, and didn't get pregnant until a couple months later when she went into heat again and banged him a bunch more times. Sometimes things are just... not what you expect."- I'm pretty sure.

She wasn't sure what she expected to come out of this conversation, though Towhee felt relieved about finally unloading this on someone. And even what with her lack of expectation, Finley managed to surprise her with an upbeat take on the matter. Towhee had long since come to terms with being barren, though her godmother offered a fresh perspective. For the first time since discovering her evident lack of fertility, Towhee actually felt hopeful. Maybe Finley was right and she shouldn't base her beliefs or hopes on a single breeding season.

And that was telling: she hoped Finley was right. Towhee had never endeavored to be a mother and hadn't thought it possible either. But now she realized she might want that chance for herself. She'd proved herself capable of raising young and there was a part of her that wanted to maybe do it again someday. Her insides felt strangely buoyant as she considered this, turning the possibility over and over in her head.

-"Never say never and expect the unexpected, got it,"- she quipped after a long, thoughtful beat. A smile teased about her mouth, only to twitch into a frown when a big, fat raindrop suddenly splattered right between her eyes. The storm that had been brewing overhead was finally about to unleash itself on the world below, it seemed.

-"I should be on my way. This was a really good talk. Thank you,"- Towhee said, ignoring the increasing pattering of rainfall as she reached out to slide her muzzle along Finley's.

Fin smiled and said her farewells after Towhee excused herself. In spite of the rain that began to fall, she stood for a few minutes, looking after where her goddaughter had disappeared into the wilderness. She wondered if it might've been cruel to give Towhee hope about her situation and if perhaps she shouldn't have said anything and let nature surprise her. It didn't take her long to decide that there was no reason to fret over it. It was too late to take it back now. She would simply hope for a miracle, or if not, then for Towhee's personal strength to carry her through if it didn't end up happening after all.

Turning, Finley headed back towards the rendezvous site to be tormented by her own little [s]monsters[/i] miracles.