Northstar Vale And they’ll sew feathеrs in my spine.

She returned to the vale just after daybreak. When she arrived at the roost, Maxim was not there waiting for her. Towhee stood just outside the door, letting the crushing weight of that settle on her for a moment. Then she took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders and stepped inside.

-“Hey guys, who wants to go on an adventure today?”- Towhee asked as she gently roused @Sable and @Towhee Jr. -“I want to show you something. Come on! Up, up!”-

Towhee marched her offspring outside, batting away errant thoughts about single motherhood. She looked around for @Jack Snipe or @Phox, as if desperate for some corporeal reminder that she was not alone in this. She then focused all her attention on herding the littles toward Wraen’s Nest.

Timestamp: April 20.

while jr's ptero is still very much developing and is limited at best she puts together the words towhee signs with 'going outside' based largely on how their mother was rousing her and sable up and towards the outside of the roost.

-show us?- she signs back, mostly repeating the motions of her mother. it does not fall out of her notice that maxim still hasn't come home.

but youth has its own flavor of innocence and an idyllic ability to be distracted by what towhee had to show her and sable.

Despite everything, Towhee managed a smile when Jr signed back at her. She nodded and bent to nudge the top of the girl’s crown before raising her head and glancing back toward the den’s mouth. Where was Sable?

Jack had appeared and was trying to tickle his little brother. Towhee’s chest tightened at the sight. She decided to leave them to their game and seize this opportunity to talk to her daughter one-on-one. Perhaps that was for the best anyway. She could single out each kid for this tough conversation.

-Walk beside me,- Towhee instructed the Atoma, then began striding through the willows toward Lotus Spring.

She led Jr toward the small streams feeding into the spring, then guided her across a shallow point. Soon they wandered to the meadow yonder. Towhee could see Leona’s grave. She moved toward it, stopping just short of the mound of earth scattered with dead flowers.

Sweeping out a foreleg, Towhee said, -This is Wraen’s Nest.- She looked into her own face, only much littler, and added, -You’re welcome to look around. Just stay in my sight.-

sable does not toddle out after her, and towhee jr does not ponder it any further than perhaps he did not want to go see the fun, exciting thing.

more mom time for her!

she bounds after towhee — attempting to weave between her mother's legs ( not realizing it was a really good way to accidentally get stepped on ).

-nest?- it is becoming easier to mimic the ptero, the signing gestures ... even without quite fully grasping the meaning behind the words. she would, in time, but she settles for signing the words she does have an inkling about: nest, for one.

she squints at it for a long moment; weary, despite her mother's calm demeanor.

the true significance of the place is lost to her, though she moves forward to investigate the mound scattered with dried flowers.

they remind her of the ones tamar brought, only less vibrant ... and they no longer had that sweet, floral scent; learned as jr sniffs at one curiously.

she turns back to her mother then, brow furrowing. -what is?- she signs.

-Yes, Wraen’s Nest,- Towhee patiently repeated for the toddler’s sake. -Wraen was a friend of mine a long time ago. She’s gone now, though.-

She didn’t say anything else for the moment, giving the pup a chance to look around a little. Towhee watched as she approached Leo’s grave and sniffed at the dry petals littered on the ground there. Soon, the Atoma looked at her with a question.

-You know how Jack’s your older brother? You had an older sister too. Her name was Leona. She’s gone, like Wraen.- Towhee paused, then said with a bit more directness, -They died before you were born. Leo is buried here. Sometimes we visit this place to think of her.-

That was quite the concept for someone so young to grasp. Towhee wasn’t sure how much Towhee Jr would really understand. But she was there to field any questions the youngster might have about death.

there's a lot of words thrown at her, and towhee jr does her best to attempt to decipher the ptero her older mirrored image signed to her.

yes. nest. wraen. gone.

that words sticks unpleasantly in jr's throat; a stone in her stomach.

-gone?- she signs back, struggling to process the big emotions that single word fills her with.

her gaze watches the following gestures of towhee's words, not quite able to grasp the concept of death and unable to feel the connection to wraen and leona as she maybe should have, not being able to understand.

so, jr focuses on what she does know. on what is bothering her.

a heavy sigh pushes past jr's lips. -da gone?- she signs, mimicking the gestures her mother had made; letting towhee know that maxim's continued absence has not escape jr's perception. -da come back?-

-Gone,- Towhee confirmed. -When a wolf dies, it’s just like they fall asleep, only they don’t wake up. So we bury them. Leo is buried here,- she repeated, making sure to point at the grave.

Before Towhee could segue into the subject of Maxim’s absence, Jr surprised her by making the connection. She would not waste this opportunity, though she knew she must choose her words very carefully. She wanted to give the kid the facts without confusing her.

-Your dad is gone. I don’t know where he went or what happened to him. I know he would never leave us on purpose, so he might be hurt or dead. I wish I had all the answers but I just don’t know, Jr. I’m sorry. I miss him a lot too. I hope he comes back. Either way, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?-

jr gives a slow blink, brow furrowing as she watches towhee's ptero. dies is like sleeping but without ever waking up. -oh.- she kind of understands, she thinks.

it's a lot but through towhee's explination it is easier for her to wrap her mind around.

they talk of maxim then and jr feels her shoulders slump; gaze fixed on towhee's paws as her mother signs out her words. hurt or sleeping forever. neither of those are good things and fills towhee jr with a small blossom of what she will learn in time is dread.

-we look? ...for da?-

She had anticipated this question from Jack, not from one of the younger two. Towhee paused to ponder how to explain a concept like futility to a toddler.

-I did look. I looked everywhere. I could keep looking but the world is very big. And it would take all my time. I would rather stay here and hang out with you,- Towhee explained, gently poking Jr’s chest. -I’ll teach you to track so that if you still want answers when you’re older, you’ll know how to look for them. Deal?-

She kind of hoped Towhee Jr would forget about it by then. Better yet, maybe Maxim would reappear. Biting back a sigh, she held out her paw for a fist bump, should Jr agree to her terms.

in towhee jr’s imagination: they’d all go look for maxim; but she forgot that she and sable were still young and didn’t have the skills necessary — though in her defense she thinks of it like playing hide and seek — nor the energy to keep up with the adults.

a small frown tugs at her lips.

-deal!- she mimics the ptero back with a small, excited bounce to her movements; grasping onto any real reason to spend more time with her mom … and tracking sounded like fun even if it’s reasoning was a heavy thing that towhee jr couldn’t quite understand yet.

with any luck though, maxim would return. she only hoped if he did that towhee’d still teach her how to track.

Her lookalike accepted her terms, with some measure of excitement. Towhee’s lips twitched into a smile, which slid off her face a moment later. She suddenly felt the full weight of her exhaustion. When was the last time she’d slept properly? The answer was cuttingly obvious: the last night Maxim had shared their den.

-Cool deal. Now, how about you explore this place a little? See if you can find any interesting smells. Maybe I can teach you a little about tracking now. And if we’re really lucky, maybe we’ll even get in some hunting practice…-

She made an encouraging shooing motion, waiting for Towhee Jr to take the lead. Towhee glanced at Leo’s grave for a moment before padding after her living daughter, eager to provide some normalcy by doing some everyday things with her child.

I figured we could wrap this one here? :)