Heron Lake Plateau have you ever felt the warm embrace

takes place... today i guess lol

tegan had reluctantly made the trek back home. it had taken so much longer now that he actively didn't want to go home. he didn't even wanna step foot in the same region. but family ties and loyalty or whatever. not that anyone seemed to be fucking loyal to him. one way street, he fucking guessed. 

fuck everyone. 

whatever, he probably was in trouble for the firebird situation (because no one would ever bother believing tegan was in the right there) and would probably be chewed out for leaving the pack for so long without any notice. never mind he found screech. actually! he'd probably get in trouble for tracking him down instead of coming home. but what, like they'd ever fucking find him without tegan's help. 

whatver. who the fuck cares. 

the angsty little teen threw back his head and called for @Quixote and @Towhee, noting that overhead, X was circling, and that the bird took off. probably to find his dumbass older sister. he sat, and waited. looking as neutral as he could manage.

Towhee had trained X to signal certain pack members' names in their own, much more rudimentary variation of ptero (a dialect, if you will). When the bird swooped down from the sky and landed neatly in front of her where she was sitting by the lake, munching on a deer's shin, and somehow made this sign with his feathers, Towhee immediately dropped the fleshy bone.

"Tegan?" she muttered stupidly, jumping to all fours and streaking toward the borders, X's shadow gliding overhead and quickly overtaking her. It wasn't some April Fools joke (not that Towhee or X knew of the holiday); Tegan was actually down there! She sped up as she galloped downhill to meet him.

"You stupid fuck!" she bellowed in his face, her expression not at all matching the words; it was one of concern and happiness. Towhee reached up and playfully punched his shoulder. "Where'd you fuck off to, brah? We've been worried."

sure enough, it was towhee that came about first. tegan recognizes that she didn’t seem angry, despite her choice in words. he knew they came from a place of relief and excitement and worry and all that corny shit. he got it. he didn’t take her words to heart. 

he sighed, generally, before answering her question. i found screech. he’s back at blackfeather woods, i don’t know if they’re reforming but there were other scents, he told her with a furrowed brow, i didn’t do anything stupid but i tracked him there when i found him. and, yeah, that was the only reason he was gone for si long.

She didn't mention his apparent cameo at the Firebirds' borders, nor how he'd apparently sassed Kiwi. That didn't really matter much to her right now. But her lips prepared to form about a hundred other questions when Tegan beat her to the punch. And speaking of punches, it sort of felt like someone sank one right into her but when he explained some of the reasoning behind his absence.

Towhee made a strange sort of noise that might've been the word, "Ah." Her eyes darkled considerably and she spat, "Fuck," in the next breath. Otherwise, she was sort of at a loss of words here.

yeah, muttered tegan with a flick of his ears, don’t really know what to do about that.  and he didn’t. part of him wanted to just give up on it, ya know? it was kind of a huge burden on their lives that he just wasn’t sure was worth devoting more of their energy too... but at the same time, god damn did they deserve a little bit of justice, didn’t they?? 

whatever. her silence about bat — as in, where is she? the initial question tegan might’ve expected — only confirmed tegan’s suspicion that towhee knew. 

tegan was quiet for a moment before he finally signed -you knew, didn’t you- he began, expression a little dejected, -you knew why bat wanted to go back to the hollow.- he looked a little hurt, a little angry, when he looked up at her, brow deeply furrowed.

in the distance, quixote howled that he was on his way... not that towhee heard.

He didn't know what to do with this information and neither did she. Of course, Towhee wanted to hunt him down and kill him... again. But it hadn't even worked the first time. (Or the second? I feel like we've tried to kill that guy a few times now...) As much as it galled her, maybe the best thing to do with this information was nothing at all, aside from brood on it for a while.

He switched to signing and Towhee blinked back to attention. -Yeah, I knew. I didn't think it was a big deal, since she said she was just going for a few weeks. Why do I have a feeling I was wrong about that?- His hurt expression gave her her answer. -I really didn't think much of it. I mean, I hate that wolves come and go like this place doesn't mean shit but I didn't know it would be a problem for you, personally. Sorry.-

[size=medium][font=.SF UI Text][size=large][font=.SFUIText]tegan heard her out, and his expression softened, but less from feeling sorry for her and more for feeling just a little more hurt by the situation altogether. tegan shook his head. -you of all wolves i would think would understand this, towhee,- he stared with a gentle sigh, -i don’t care that she left — like, i know she’s coming back. i’m still pissed she left, after all that’s fuckin happened she just had to fuckin race back into the woods... but whatever, i get it, duty or whatever.- which was all true. tegan got it. he was mad, but he got it. [/font][/size][/font][/size]

[size=medium][font=.SF UI Text][size=large][font=.SFUIText]-but why was i blindsided? why couldn’t anyone tell me here before we left? or asked my opinion? did you both think it was protecting me — or what? I’m a fuckin adult, towhee, i know no one seems to believe me when i say that but I’m perfectly capable of handling things i don’t like pretty, rationally.- which, granted, was entirely bias because he had totally flown the coop after the bomb was dropped on him, but towhee didn’t know that. he shook his head. that’s why i wanted to become beta. i wanted to step up. get a little more responsibility and be taken a little more seriously, he added finally, switching back to spoken word, and as he finished his ears pinned back towards his head, I’m learning pretty quickly i was wrong. [/font][/size][/font][/size]

-Tegan,- Towhee signed, getting directly to the point, -I didn't realize. I didn't know when or how she'd tell you. This is on Bat, not me.- She could've said more—about how Bat had asked her, point blank, how Tegan had reacted to her supposed death and how she had blatantly sugarcoated the truth—but she made herself leave it there. She wasn't to blame for knowing when he hadn't, that wasn't her fault or responsibility. She wasn't party to Bat's communication skills or lack thereof.

She wanted to disagree with his next bit, especially because the look on his face cut her up a little, but Towhee finally addressed the elephant in the room. -Why didn't you come here and let us know what was going on? Why did you cuss out Kiwi?- Towhee absolutely wanted to hear Tegan's side of the story.

-but you knew- insisted tegan, who still felt pretty betrayed by the whole thing. what did she say? did she ask? tell you? what did you say? you knew how badly i took her almost fucking dying. he wanted to ask so badly. but, what was the fucking point? tegan knew at this point that towhee was too stubborn to argue with... hell, he was too. whatever, tegan just shook his head. if she wasn't gonna go into detail tegan wasn't gonna fuckin push it anymore. whatever. 

she then changed the subject, to something he was eventually expecting to hear. "it was a set up," tegan said with a glowering look, "i came to tell them bat relocated -- cause i figured, ya know, her mom would wanna know. and its kinda my job to maintain relationships, represent, whatever. kiwi intercepted me. called me an errand boy and incompetent." he rolled his shoulders, where the fur had fluffed up just a little bit. 

"i kept my cool for a while, honestly, most pleasant you ever seen me, swear, but i said one, god damn thing..." he grumbled, "and wildfire showed up. so i left. that's when i saw screech -- a territory over -- and i took off after him. i couldn't let him get away, what if it rained by the time i came back? i only tracked him, i didn't get involved with anyone."

Her shoulders rose and fell. She hadn't thought too much about it, nor even wondered much if he knew. It really didn't matter now, since there was nothing either one of them could do about it. Towhee did want to ask him about why it mattered so much to him but knew was not the time to press him about his feelings toward Bat.

She weighed his description against what Kiwi had told her. It sounded like they'd pressed one another's buttons. It wasn't really that surprising. She did wonder what that "one goddamn thing" was exactly but heaved a sigh instead of asking. Like the miscommunication with Bat, Towhee thought it belonged forgotten in the past, although maybe it was a learning opportunity.

-It's good you didn't engage,- she said with that same dark look in her eye, -but you should've controlled your temper with Kiwi. She should have too. You're both Betas and our packs are allies. And you should've dropped a time too. We were really worried.-

"i needed to find where screech was going," he said pretty firmly, tail flicking, "sorry i left everyone hanging, i made a decision and i didn't put myself directly in danger. and now we have intel on screech and maybe blackfeather woods." to tegan, this seemed like a pretty straightforward and correct answer to a problem. beyond that, he didn't have a reason for not stopping in other than the fact that he was actually taking off originally.

now he didn't know what to do. 

with a curt nod, tegan added, -i did the right thing.- even if towhee didn't agree. he didn't comment on kiwi. fuck kiwi and fuck clover.

He didn't seem apologetic at all, despite using the word "sorry." Towhee looked at him speculatively, feeling almost more disappointed than annoyed. He had really worried her. She had sent X searching and the hawk had used up days' of time and energy, only to return empty-handed. There was the distinct possibility he'd lost his brand new title. And all because Tegan couldn't howl like a wolf?

Her jaw tightened and she said nothing to his insistent comment. Only after a long pause did she speak to say, "I'm glad you're back. I'm not sure what Qui will have to say about any of it though." She looked around as if looking for the Alpha, oblivious to the fact that he was on his way. Definitely nothing good, she tacked on mentally, frowning.

tegan shook his head to her comment. "yeah he doesn't have to bother saying anything," tegan said with a flick of his tail, nose turning away from his sister. she couldn't see his mouth moving, of course, so he signed now instead. -clearly this was a long shot. just stick me back down where i belong and i'll shut up and let everyone run my life for me.-  which was so over dramatic. but like, come on, he kind of felt like that and it probably at least a little justified. 

"i'm gonna go see mom," he added then, in a quiet voice as he turned back towards her, though the freshly returned blackthorn didn't make eye contact.

Speak of the devil, Qui was just arriving on the scene.  He was moving at a pretty good clip but Towhee had been way closer than him so it was no surprise that so much of the conversation had gone down.  Hell, the bird probably tipped her off -- early warning system or something.

Tegan's especially delayed return had been pretty weird.  Sure, Qui wasn't as worried as Towhee might have been, partially because he figured that maybe Tegan wanted to stop a few places along the way and hang out or something.  You know, stuff just came up sometimes.  He hadn't really doubted that Tegan would come back eventually.  Or that was at least the case until it turned out he'd gone to Firebirds and not finished the trip (assuming Qui heard) then he was just plain confused. It didn't really make sense.  But what was he to do?  At least it meant Tegan was ok, so... It was just a matter of patience or something.  It wasn't like he'd consider going out there and forcibly drag him back -- he wasn't a child, so he deserved the freedom to make his life the way he wanted, even if that wasn't here.  Better than keeping a pissed off person around.

Things weren't exactly a party here, even an emotionally stunted weirdo like himself could see that.  Quixote slowed to a stop, Sorry for that.  You're back?  Was there a 'but' floating around or something?  He assumedly also knew that Bat had stayed with another pack by this point.  Who knows.  Also the visual of a floating butt was amusing.  Maybe with some tiny wings flapping to keep it aloft.

The way he avoided looking at her reminded her of the period following Bat's "death." Towhee softened a little and reached out to nudge him. "Okay," she said when he told her he intended to go see Finley over in the copse.

Then Quixote appeared. The Beta immediately tensed. After his yuge speech just prior to Tegan's promotion, she expected him to rip Tegan a new asshole or something. Weirdly, he didn't seem surprised to see him, nor did he make any mention about his rank or even his status as a member of the pack. Towhee blinked loudly, curious, but held her tongue. It was Tegan's rank, so it was up to him to ask about it if he wanted.

"Glad you're back," Towhee repeated. "I'll see you later," she added, leaving him and Quixote to catch up before Tegan presumably resumed his plan to go visit his mom.

towhee gave him a nudge, which tegan actually returned despite really not wanting to. must've been subconscious, or something. either way, it was returned. he watched as his sister came up upon quixote, mutter a few things with her broken voice, and then officially dip, leaving tegan to stare at quixote rather dejectedly. "i brought bat back to the hollow, came home, stopped at the firebirds because i figured wildfire would wanna know that bat was there for now..." he paused, assuming that quixote also probably knew he'd called kiwi some choice words, "their beta is a real piece of work, by the way, worse than towhee... but, anyway, when i left i found screech... a territory or so over. i had to follow him." 

this was, again, the lie that towhee had taken so smoothly. the truth being that tegan had actually just turned and fled east as far as he could go until he suddenly ran into screech. either way. 

"screech is back at blackfeather, i didn't go into the territory, i just wanted to know where his bitchass was hiding. there might be more wolves there, i told towhee i think they might be reforming," he finished, recapping this all with a little less emotion than he had with towhee. but quixote had less stake in tegan, who was nothing more than some dumbass kid he had to put up with occasionally. too bad tegan thought so much higher or quixote.

with a gently turn upwards of his chin, as if he was trying to make up for the fact that he was a big fuckin pussy, tegan said "didn't mean to leave for so long without letting anyone know where i was. i didn't know how far screech was gonna go, didn't think it'd take so long." he added gently, "sorry for letting you down."

Yeah, Qui was pretty chill about it.  What was the point of yelling or something?  The only mess Tegan had really made was by snarking at Kiwi at the wrong time.  Him not showing up when expected was more annoying than anything -- things didn't always go to plan, as Tegan went on to explain.  Screech.  Quixote frowned at that news -- like seriously, couldn't that dude like actually die and stay dead instead of continuing to exist?  That would be great.  The hell was he doing over here again?  Note to self, step up patrols.  Firebirds aside, at least we were right that the one that came here saying he was dead was lying.  Hopefully that's a facade they're wanting to keep up, so they leave us alone.  But we'll have to keep an eye out if they're traveling this far -- and make sure everyone knows.  Hell, explaining that to the kids was not gonna be fun.  Adults or not, there were some things that he wished they didn't have to hear -- and other things he wasn't going to tell them.

Either way, it seemed kind of reasonable to Quixote.  Well.  Minus the thing at Firebirds -- they could deal with that later, because hey, Quixote wasn't entirely sure what the best approach to that was either.  It was probably something to have Tegan and Raven discuss, because that whole being all nice and polite thing wasn't his jam.  Either way, an enemy had showed up at their doorstep so Tegan had followed him back to his nest and returned to report without engaging.  It was certainly a good deal better than the previous immediate adventure that had happened.

Still.  That did leave one thing here, which now nagged at him, Why didn't you just come find one of us, though?  Why was he here instead? A howl from the borders was kind of odd from his perspective.  Adventures happened, and any other time someone ran off, they hadn't been stripped of their rank.  But of course they hadn't known  that Tegan had ditched his rank and the pack.  Nobody told Redhawks at least, but having the whole thing happen with a howl at the borders edge made the whole thing feel more at arm's length than he would have expected.

tegan merely shrugged. why was that guy ever anywhere? tegan inwardly felt a little guilty, since screech had actually stayed entirely far away from the pack.. but either way, he was alive and that was the important discovery here. never mind the little web of lies tegan himself had strung. "sounds good to me," he agreed with a quick, thoughtful nod, never mind he was thinking about other things. at least his expressions were pretty well trained. 

at quixote's question, tegan gave a huge, heavy sigh. it was just buying him time, truthfully, but whatever. cause, ya know, another lie. "i was gone for a while, and you seemed pretty clear on the no mistakes thing..." tegan said sort of meekly, "i figured i should just wait up."

Quixote still felt like he was missing a piece.  Most of the things said fit together on their own, but not entirely with from Tegan's current behavior.  He seemed almost a little too sorry -- that or Towhee figured whatever happened wasn't a big deal and had relayed it as so when it actually was a much heavier topic.  Or something.  Certainly if it had been that bad, someone would have stomped right on over, right?  He was acting like he'd already surrendered the rank he'd asked for not too long ago.

So it's about Firebirds, then?  Pretty much had to be.  Unless you're leaving something out.  From the way Qui said it, he didn't seem think that was the case.  But he would try to figure it out with an even keel.  I personally haven't talked to them recently, so I'm pretty sure you haven't started a war or anything ridiculous.  I don't know what their side of it is other than what Towhee has said.  And did they trust the lens that Towhee saw the world through?  Sure, it was probably true, but she wasn't exactly fond of subtle things, so if they lied a little to be prim and proper, would she be able to tell?  Quixote might not, but for different reasons. 

Raven will be stepping up to alpha again soon.  She'd be the one who probably would have the best idea of whether that is something that will be brushed off or if you should really go apologize even if you think it was a setup.  Hell, Raven should probably talk to him anyway.  Maybe she could figure out what was really the issue.  But you recognize the mistake.  That's step one.  What're you gonna do about it?  Tegan had sounded like he was just going to give up.

tegan nodded at the mention about the firebirds and how unless he was 'leaving something out'. which, yes, he was, but he would not share that. 

to the next comment, the boy merely snorted, giving a heavy shake of his head. "oh, no," said tegan firmly, "i'm not apologizing." in fact, just as tegan sounded like he was giving up, he was! good intuition, quixote. "i've been right all this time in thinking leadership was too much responsibility. dunno what i thought it'd help me prove. i'm happy back at gamma or delta or fuckin iota, i don't care. just toss me back down the ranks and i'll keep doing what i've been doin' without all the pressure," he said with a flick of his ears. he left out the salty bit about quixote being right to doubt him, but the end of the sentence lingered in his headd. 

"fun trial run. i'll take the free version, though," tegan said, in a reference that broke the 4th wall.

Quixote's comment had been kind of a joke.  Leaving something out like he started a war and wasn't gonna say anything. That kind of thing -- the sort of cartoony "oh yeah, the world is actually ending btw" sort.  Okay, the thing that Qui had been most concerned about was Tegan being too gung-ho about the whole thing -- that basically he'd bite off more than he could chew and then who knew where he (or the pack) would be because Tegan had always seemed ready to go run off on adventures without much of a concern.  This was not what he was expecting at all.  It was, in fact, pretty much the opposite.  Blink.  Okay, uh.  Well. Now what?  If that's what you want...   Either way, you don't have to stand around here, go on.  After that trip, some food and rest is probably on the schedule for you, no matter what rank you've got.  He pointed in to the territory, but turned himself to sort of point like he'd be continuing with a patrol since he was here already.  He had a few things to think about, to gather his thoughts before bringing them to Raven.