Wheeling Gull Isle Life’s a beach.

She had meant to stay on the island for about a week before returning to Moonspear. But after finding Caracal sobbing in the middle of the night, Towhee realized they still desperately needed her support. She told @Sialuk, @Whip and anyone else who’d come along they ought to head home. She would be staying behind a while longer.

Of course, such a decision merited a discussion with @Sable and @Towhee Jr. Towhee summoned them and led her kids toward the north side of the island, where a mangrove swamp gave way to tide pools. She squinted against the glare as they stepped from shade into sunlight, the ocean water throwing sparkles every which way.

-“There’s something I need to tell you,”- Towhee said once they found a nice spot to sit on the warm sands. -“The others are heading back to Moonspear but I’m going to stay a bit longer. I want you to know you’re welcome to stay with me here but it’s fine if you want to go home too. It’s totally up to you.”-

Just like when they’d decided to come with her, Towhee wanted them to decide for themselves. But there was more to the decision than met the eye. They were four months old now and more self-sufficient every day. They would need parental guidance a while longer and ideally a village to support them as they continued to mature, yet they were far from helpless, needy babies these days.

-“In fact, you should know that when they don’t need me as much here, I may want to travel a bit rather than settle back in Moonspear. I want to keep doing this: helping out our family, in all the different places they live. What I said before still stands: you can come with me or you can go home. If you decide to stay with Moonspear, I will visit often.”-

Now she was just rambling. Towhee shut her trap, orange gaze drifting from her son’s face to her daughter’s, then back again. It was a lot to process, she knew, and she didn’t expect a decision right away. Mostly, she figured they would have questions. She drew in a breath of salty sea air and waited.

Sable liked the beach. It was calm, quiet, and the water tasted funny. It got less quiet the closer he got to his big brother’s hoard of children, though, so he kept his distance as to not get overwhelmed. Too many inputs, the colors of their voices, the sounds, the wailing of the littler ones. It was too much.

So, he took to walking the beach, or staying by Junior if she happened to be available.

Today, his mother’s words were red. Normally they pulled between a yellow and red gradient but today, they were red. As she spoke to them of leaving her here. Sable, his ears twisting back more with every word she spoke, eventually turned to look at Junior, then back at Towhee. Even after all of this, she wanted to go explore? Sable didn’t see the appeal, if he was being honest, but he didn’t voice it to her. Instead, the boy chewed at his lip, uncertain, before he would look to Junior for how to proceed.

luckily for towhee junior, she had been following her mother; otherwise the summons wouldn't went unknown unless someone from sweetharbor would've intercepted and passed it along.

as it was, sable came and junior fell into step beside her brother, dutifully stopping alongside him when they reached towhee.

silent as she always was, junior focuses her attention on the motion of her mother's paws; mentally translating the signing of ptero into words.

they could go back to moonspear, or stay. but there was a caveat: there was a chance that towhee would travel when sweetharbor no longer needed her help.

for a moment, junior stares blankly at her mother's paws when they go still; processing. a glimpse is spared to sable to find her brother looking to her. and she feels a weight, like the sky upon atlas' shoulders. her stomach drops, warring with the ugly emotions that boil to the surface.

she tries to understand but ... cannot.

she is angry, despite towhee's promise of visiting often.

she sucks in a breath and lets it out in a slow hiss, hoping it might help to ebb the smart. her temper was her worst enemy, but it is burning too hot in her veins for her to think logically. -what if you never return? like papa?- her true fear comes to light at that moment then: abandonment.

what little memories she had of maxim were all but gone. she knew he existed but could not recall anything about him.

Sable looked like he didn’t know what to think, though Jr’s expression was a little clearer. She looked pissed. Towhee had prepared herself for this possibility, though she was not particularly ready for the question her lookalike slung at her.

She felt angry herself, for a moment. Maxim had vanished without a word, never to return, and Towhee had made sure to always make herself available to her children to mitigate their suffering as much as possible. It felt like an undeserved, unfair accusation, though she reminded herself that Jr’s question came from an honest place.

Looking her mirror image dead in the eye, she signed with emphatic, somewhat harsh movements, saying, -Towhee Sasha Redhawk Jr, I promise you that will never fucking happen. Do you read me?- Softening a little, she continued, -I’ve always been here for you. That will never change, alright? If it was up to me, I’d just make you come with me. But it’s not just up to me anymore. You’re grown enough to get a say, be a part of making decisions about your own life. That’s why I wanted to talk to you, let you make the choice for yourself.-

She didn’t want to just ramble endlessly, though there was more Towhee wanted to say. She paused to draw in a breath, orange gaze wandering from Jr’s face to Sable’s and back again.

-That’s called autonomy. That’s what made me decide to drift. I thought about it long and hard and realized it’s what would make me happy, give me purpose. And if that has merit to you too, great! If not, you can settle in Moonspear—or here, or wherever you want—and that’s a valid choice too. Nothing will stop me from visiting you every chance I get. Okay? Not even goddamn death. Okay? Even if I fuckin’ die, I love you so much, I will fucking haunt the shit out of you forever. Okay?-

Oh, Junior was angry. She didn’t speak, Sable didn’t think she could, but if she could, Sable imagined her words would be a dark maroon. He shuffled over to her side to press his shoulder to hers, a silent support for his silent sister.

He looked up at his mother as she began to speak, the rhythm of her paws pressing comfort into his ears. Sable pressed a little closer to Junior, as if silently promising to uphold her decision. Then, he began to sign, slow, as if he was thinking it over even as he signed it.

-I like it here. But I liked the mountain.- He shot Junior a look, then went back to his mother.

-I follow Junior. Where she goes, I go.-

though there was some satisfaction at letting the very worst of her fears into the world even if it was born from a place that could be vindictive, she feels the sting of guilt as her mother rounds on her.

her shoulders droop a bit as towhee furiously assures her that, that wasn't going to happen. that even if she died she would haunt them.

her and sable ... they didn't need towhee like they once had. every day they grew and everyday the became more adult-like.

the press of sable's shoulder against her's is a comfort; a struggle between being wanting to be wildly independent and turtling into the dependency she's had all her life thus far.

and in this, she can see why towhee wants to travel. if not in an entire understanding, then at least an empathy for it.

surviving in the world without her mother's constant presence would be a challenge for junior, she knows. did she harbor the patience it would take to teach wolves around her ptero? perhaps she would always stay in moonspear but perhaps she wouldn't. it was hard to think about where she would be or want to be in the next handful of months.

-ok.- towhee jr signs, drawing a breath and letting it steel her shoulders; her gaze moving to sable's paws as he signs his answer. he wanted to return to moonspear but he would follow her.

she feels a small swell of love for her brother, threatening to choke her. -we will return to moonspear.- towhee jr signs, gaze lifting from sable to her mother.

Sable pressed up close to his sister, a thoughtful look on his face before he declared he would follow her wherever she chose. Towhee felt a swell of such fondness and pride, it choked her up for a moment. She offered him a nod of acknowledgement before shifting her gaze to her young doppelganger.

Jr looked as if she was wrestling with things for a moment, though she eventually announced her decision to return to Moonspear. Although part of Towhee shriveled at the realization she would be parted from her youngest children, she was so glad they would have each other’s backs.

-“That’s a smart choice,”- Towhee said to both her children, -“and it makes me so glad that you two will be there for each other. You’ll still be surrounded by plenty of family there too. And I’ll come by frequently. You have my word.”-

If they would allow it, Towhee would scoot closer to them and sling her forelegs around her children’s shoulders, pulling them into a three-way hug. The dynamic between herself and the two of them would change, she knew. No matter how often she visited, they would be pulling apart from one another. But that was how it was supposed to be, she knew, with the pups gaining independence as they grew older.

-“For the record, I don’t plan to die anytime soon,”- she disclaimed her earlier remarks. -“I want to live a long time, traveling between Moonspear, here, Epoch… wherever my children and grandchildren have settled. If you guys end up leaving the mountain someday, I’ll come visit you too, wherever you and your eventual families end up.”-

Towhee stepped back then, to make it easier to look at them. She loved that they would be sticking together more than she could ever articulate. They reminded her of Leona and Jack Snipe. She just hoped for a happier ending for this pair, especially since they’d already lost out on their father. Hopefully they would be more like herself and Phox.

-“I think Sialuk and Whip will be heading back soon, so you can travel back with them. I’ll probably stick around here for another couple weeks, then my first stop after I can get away is Moonspear. I’ll probably even hang around there for a bit, camp out nearby like I did when we were first visiting. Sound good to you guys?”-

Her words weren’t red anymore. Sable leaned into the touch for only a moment, then his skin crawled a bit and he pulled back. He’d never been the type for this amount of physical touch, just as easily overwhelming as sound to him.

Will miss you. Came his gentle sign, one green eye focusing on her until his other came back into sight.

She reassured them she wouldn’t die. And said she would come to see them. Sable inhaled shakily, looking to his sister again, before making a decision all his own.

When he was a little older, perhaps he and Junior could go see the world together. Maybe they’d even find their father. Internally, he snorted at that. Maxim was long gone from his memory, even his face was gone. The most solid memory he had was that time before he opened his eyes, when the hum registered in his head as belonging to father.

Sable shook himself all over. No need for that.

they are praised for sticking together ... but though junior values her independence, feeble as it perhaps is, she draws great comfort from sable deciding to stick with her. even if getting her to admit it was like pulling teeth; met with great resistance.

-yes,- junior signs in response to towhee's question, peering at sable as he signs that she will be missed. -we love you, mom.- junior signs, aiming to press a small kiss to her mother's cheek.

-“I’ll miss you too. I love you both more than I could ever possibly articulate,”- Towhee replied.

Most of the time, she would lighten the serious mood with a bit of lightheartedness, maybe a joke or two. But she maintained a sober expression as she gathered them into a hug again, holding them close to her heart. Towhee might’ve clung to them awhile, though she reminded herself that this entire conversation was about independence and letting go, so she slipped away after a moment.

She didn’t go far. If they were joining the others and leaving imminently, Towhee wanted to soak up these last hours with her kids. Yes, she would still see them as often as possible, though this would change everything. They would belong less to her than to each other and their village.

-“You two remind me of Phox and me,”- she voiced the earlier thought aloud. -“We’ve stuck together our whole lives. Sometimes we’d be apart but we always found our way back to each other. I guess now we’ll be separated again, though he could always decide to come with me. On that note, if you two ever feel like it, you’re welcome to join me on the road anytime. I mean that. Just ‘cause I won’t have a door won’t mean it’s not always open to you.”-

With that established, it was finally time to lift and lighten the mood a bit. Towhee looked around at the nearby mangroves and tide pools. She wouldn’t, though she could easily imagine just staying here forever. If she’d thought the vale was paradise once, it paled in comparison to this place.

-“I vote we have a beach day. I say we plunder the tide pools, find some souvenirs you can take back to Moonspear with you. But what would you guys like to do?”-

His mother was someone he always had looked up to, both because he was still small, and because she was just a good person to him.

She said they reminded her of a younger her and Uncle-father figure Phox. A bit of pride kindled in his chest at the comparison, the boy puffing up proudly.

And then, a final suggestion. A beach day. The finality settled beside the pride in his chest, and Sable nodded.

Beach day. A mischievous quirk of his lips as he reached over to nudge his sister.

Race you to the water. Then, he was off like a shot, silently cackling.