Sun Mote Copse This mess is a place

@Towhee!

It was late morning by the time Phox woke. He leaned over to find that Figment and Fennec had gone off for the day, as they tended to do, but Towhee was still laying nearby. The Redhawk smiled, then he remembered what had happened last night with Niamh. Immediately a sour taste invaded his mouth. Since Towhee was looking off somewhere else, he (gently!) shoved her shoulder.

-I talked to Niamh last night,- he said, the unease clear in his body language as well as his tone. -She's not happy with me. I don't think anything's going to happen with her. Like, ever.- Phox wooshed out a breath, his shoulders slumping. It was a huge disappointment, but he wasn't going to wallow in it forever. He'd done enough of that in his lifetime.

When Towhee wasn't busy meandering, she was apparently ridiculously attached to her "bed." Although it was definitely past time to get up and at 'em, she remained sprawled on the ground, pressed against the remnants of body heat left behind by her children. Her eyes fluttered as she drowsed, snapping open when Phox rudely pushed against her shoulder to get her attention.

"Just five more minutes," she groaned over him, though Towhee shut her trap pretty quickly when she realized what he'd said. For two whole seconds, she anticipated the big announcement: they were mates! But then she realized he looked a little constipated as he signed a few more words, leaving Towhee to blink at her brother as his disappointed morning breath washed over her face.

"Uh," Towhee replied dumbly, trying to blink herself fully awake. "What?" She shifted, sitting up a little and facing Phox properly. "She's not happy with you because why...?"

-Because I kept Nellie's promise. Nellie wanted to deal with Colt's death on her own with the Frosthawks. She made me promise not to tell anybody, not even Niamh, about where she was. I knew Niamh was worried, but I didn't know she thought Nellie was dead. I apologized, explained that I didn't know all that, that I would have told her if I had known just how worried she was... but she wouldn't accept it.- The words came tumbling out much more quickly than he had anticipated or planned.

It wasn't as though his feelings for Niamh suddenly vanished just because they'd had a tiff, but he was fairly certain that her feelings—assuming she had any for him—were snuffed out for good. -It just doesn't seem like a good idea for us to get together if this is how things start.- If he'd known anything about his parents and their constant fighting, he probably would have had a good laugh. Alas, Finley and Elwood were his main parental role models, and they'd been nothing but happy with each other. That was the kind of partnership he wanted. He couldn't imagine that being Niamh right now.

The story came pouring out in a flurry of limbs. Towhee hadn't been much for signing since relocating to Firebirds (especially since most here didn't know or use ptero) but that didn't mean she was any less fluent. She remained riveted as he explained, her insides clenching uncomfortably. She had told him she wouldn't meddle in their business or get between them, though she hadn't anticipated this turn of events. Towhee realized she might be forced to get in the middle anyway, either choose a side or mediate.

She didn't speak for a long time as she processed Phox's words and tried to look at the situation from all angles. Towhee couldn't help but think of when she'd lost Fen, then Phox and Fig, and, well... if she'd found out one of the Firebirds had known they were at Frosthawks the entire time without telling her, Towhee would've gone fucking berserk on them for letting her suffer so much. She peered soberly at her brother as she considered this, eventually shaking her head.

"I didn't know that, about Nellie," she said slowly. "That's a fucked up promise, you do realize that?" Towhee didn't jump to accusations or blame, though her orange gaze rested, unwavering, on Phox's face. "It seems really unfair on all sides. Why the hell wou—" But Towhee cut off with another shake of her head. "I mean, what's done is done. Did you two have a bad fight?"

She couldn't help but think of her huge row with Niamh, when her friend had decided to leave Redhawks to be with Colt. That memory still turned her stomach. Since then, Towhee had gained a better understanding of her friend's motives. Plus, Niamh had literally saved her life (more than once). Surely the argument between Niamh and Phox wasn't so bad that they couldn't make amends and work through it, if that's what they both wanted.

-I know that now. That's why I apologized to her. But I've broken precisely one promise in my life, and no matter how stupid or small or awful, I can't do it again. It nearly made me lose you.- And let's be honest, Towhee would always be the most important person in his life along with their children.

Towhee asked how bad it was, and Phox thought on that for a moment. -I don't know. I think she wanted me to go ballistic, but I won't do that. I don't want you to feel like you have to be involved, but I know she's bound to bring it up with you, too.- Maybe a little bit selfishly, Phox wanted his side of the story heard, too. He just happened to have the advantage, if it could even be called that, because he slept right next to Towhee.

Phox pushed himself onto his side, taking in another deep breath and letting it all out. I just wish things were simple. That, he knew, was never likely to happen.

His answer was vague, though Towhee gathered that it hadn't been overly nasty, especially since Phox made a point of mentioning he hadn't gone ballistic. She chose to believe that everything was reparable, though she didn't say that just yet. She took in everything he'd said and gave herself another moment to process before voicing her thoughts.

She decided to go ahead and ask the question after all. "Why the hell would Nellie ask you to make that promise in the first place?" And why the hell did you agree to it? "I mean, I know she's a kid and she lost her dad. It's still really strange to me." Why would Nellie run away and hide from Niamh? She was young, sure, but probably old enough to realize how much her mother would suffer, especially so soon after losing her mate. Maybe Towhee could understanding getting away from it all but why the secrets?

"Okay, so she's mad at you about Nellie, understandably," Towhee summed up in the next breath, "and she confronted you? Then you apologized but she didn't accept it? Just trying to make sure I'm following." She took a breath. "I love you both, so I want to help, but you do realize things—especially things involving you or Niamh or you and Niamh—will never be simple?" She smirked faintly.

Phox gave a (rather pathetic) shrug at the questions about why this and why that. Weren't those questions for Nellie? He hadn't exactly been right in the head immediately following that nasty concussion. The time spent at the Frosthawks, especially the first couple of days, had been mostly a blur of headaches and throwing up. He was fairly certain that was when he'd made the promise, during one of those barely-conscious states when Nellie had come around to ask Raven something or another.

As Towhee recounted the events in her own words, Phox nodded to confirm. When she mentioned that things would never be simple between Niamh and him, he groaned. This whole thing felt less and less appealing by the second, and all he wanted to do was get away from it all. That, he knew, wasn't the solution. Maybe there wasn't a solution. Maybe they just weren't meant to be.

He nodded at her summary, though said nothing more. Her own face fell into a blank mask as Towhee pondered some more. Come to think of it, why hadn't anyone from Frosthawks come to tell her when Phox and Fig had showed up there? Crow had stopped by the other day to report Sugar missing, so why hadn't someone done the same damn thing in reverse? She could feel anger welling up and decided to forcibly brush it aside. There was no use getting pissed off about something in the past.

It was a while before she spoke again, eyes speculative as they roved Phox's face. "There's nothing wrong with wanting simple, you know. You won't get that with Niamh, so maybe you two really aren't a great match." She felt disappointed even saying it but Towhee wasn't so invested in matchmaking that she couldn't at least try to look at matters objectively. "She's complicated. But she's worth it, I think, if you do decide you want to try to make things work. I think either choice is justified," she concluded with a shrug.

She realized she probably sounded as if she was erring toward Niamh's side and thought to say, "It sounds like Nellie put you in a really bad position and that you were just trying to be... honorable, I guess? And you apologized. There's really nothing else you can do." Towhee licked her lips and added, "I'm sure she'll want to talk to me about this at some point. Do you want me to talk to her?" Surely Phox knew what she meant.

Oof, wasn't that a question. He'd already said he didn't want to force Towhee to be involved, but now she was asking to be involved in some capacity. Perhaps her involvement was unavoidable. They were all friends, after all. Again, he found himself wishing that Sequoia were here. I don't know, he finally answered. I don't know if it will make things better, worse, or keep them the same. What do you think? If it could somehow reconcile things between them, he was willing to give it another shot, but he wasn't about to go out of his way to grovel at Niamh's feet.

She immediately second-guessed her offer, though how could she not extend it, considering those involved? It wasn't like Towhee could just ignore the elephant in the room. With that said, Phox bounced the question back to her and Towhee chewed on it some more. Did she really want to get involved? What if she made matters worse? What if one or both of them ended up mad at her? Suddenly, it seemed so risky.

"I think we should all give it some time and space," she concluded aloud.

And on that note, Towhee decided to try another subject. As she pondered, she yawned and stretched, then pushed to her feet. She gave herself a bodily shake, tail twitching, then plopped back into a sit facing Phox.

"Let's talk about something else," she said right before sharing with him, "You know how I think I'm barren? I'm pretty sure I'm right but I can't help but wonder..." Towhee trailed off for a moment, then added, "Can you imagine if I ended up pregnant? Popped out some cute little bastards?" The idea excited her, made her stomach flutter, and she immediately tried to tamp down that feeling and stay pragmatic.

Phox could agree on that. He had all the time and space in the world. Well, he did until he didn't. For now, though, he wasn't in a rush to push anything one way or the other. Letting things cool off was more his style than rushing in and confronting, Niamh-style. Phox remained on his side, feeling rather dreary about the prospect, and more than happy to change the subject to something else. Yes, other people's problems were much easier to deal with.

-Pure Satan spawn,- he signed and spoke, -Pretty sure that's the only thing you're capable of producing.- He was going to get a smack for that, and Phox shielded his face with his forelegs momentarily to brace for the impact. He did wonder what sort of wolf Towhee was likely to hook-up with (aside from Pippin), but the thought of it was simultaneously stomach-turning and weirdly pleasant, so he shoved that thought way, way back in his mind.

Although he shielded himself, Towhee still gave him a playful smack on the foreleg, just because. "Damn straight," she agreed with a smirk before her face took on a more thoughtful expression. She ran her tongue around her mouth, almost as if physically chewing on her thoughts.

After a few moments of companionable silence, she asked, "If the unexpected happened, you'd help me raise them, right?"

She hit him playfully, just as he suspected. Phox let his mind wander back to Niamh, even though he didn't really want it to go there. Thankfully, Towhee spoke again, and he let his eyes focus on her instead of whatever space they were staring off into. As if she even had to ask!

-The unexpected happened last year, and you helped me. Seems only fair, doesn't it? Besides, with the way things are going, it doesn't look like I'll have any of my own to raise this year.- Phox desperately wanted to be a dad again. With their two very different predicaments, it seemed unlikely that either he or Towhee would become parents this year.

-It's not like you'd try and track down all the dudes you boned and get them to help, right?- he asked. That didn't seem like a very productive use of her time when she had a perfectly capable father right here. -Although I suppose you could always blame Pippin.-

He took a quid pro quo approach to it, which made sense, although Towhee didn't want him to do it because he thought he owed her. She knew him well enough to know he didn't mean it that way, so she said nothing. Of course he wanted to help raise these hypothetical hell spawn... if they did, indeed, exist.

Her chest tightened at the thought of Pippin trying to claim her pups. She really liked Pippin and definitely enjoyed his company. But she did not want to settle down with him. Maybe it was ugly of her but she also didn't want to share her offspring with him, even if they were equally his (at least, in theory). She decided right then and there that if she did pop out some kids, she would claim Kaertok was the father, even if they looked exactly like mini Arcs or Pips.

She said none of that to her brother, though, and she also reminded herself to stay cool. She didn't want to prepare for something that might never happen. Towhee took a deep breath to steady herself and said, "If I have pups, you'll be their dad, full stop. I don't even care if that's weird or whatever." Her shoulders rose and fell. "But who knows, right? Who knows what's going on in here?" She smacked her tum. "And who knows what'll happen between you two?"

Hitting herself in the stomach prompted Towhee to add after a beat, "I'm ready for breakfast."

What about Phox and Towhee wasn't weird, though? They'd been through a lot together, and Phox hoped they'd keep going through life together just like this. Coming back to the Redhawks had turned out to be one of the best decisions he'd ever made in life, and Towhee was a big part of that. The kids, too. They wouldn't have turned out the way they had if it hadn't been for her help.

She slapped her belly, then said she was ready for breakfast. The sound of that made Phox's stomach growl audibly, though Towhee wouldn't be able to hear it. He widened his eyes at the sound, then got to his feet and shook his coat. Hunting was the perfect thing to take his mind off all the drama.

Closing out here! Thanks for the thread as always. :hug: