Moonspear makaik ⧎

she would be healed eight weeks on the 16th so im running it up a bit :D tags for ref but aw!

she stood at the foot of the ruined mountain.

twilight falling; kukutux found herself caught in the light mist of a spring rainstorm. she did not attempt to climb the slopes, having tired herself leaving the spine.

but the duck fit herself between the large stones at the base, noting that the familiar pathway she had once taken back to her ulaq was gone now, decimated.

this time, grief did not clutch kukutux, only a solemn sense of reverence. she thought of @Raimo despite herself, and how @Adrastus might be the first married in moonglow. 

and for many hours, the snowbird did not return to her village.

The golden glow of a dying sun halved him in two. He climbed the slanted edge of a hill only to pause in the heart of wilderness, tasting the tepid air and half expecting smoke to billow from him as if winter lingered too long. The sound of thunder surprised Raimo; it was too far away to see.

The climb became grimmer when he realized what path he followed. He pushed himself to keep tabs on Kukutux, unhurried, his usual prowl. Keeping an eye out for danger while she moved towards the ruined mountain. What did she hope to find here, he wondered?

Raimo's aroma caught in every down draft. He did not hide himself outright; enough so she would feel comfortable and safe.

she should not have been surprised to see raimo here, but when his scent reached her, she knew that she had been followed. was it affection that drove him, or loyalty? was she a task for him now, their wayward just-healed moon, leaving the glow of their ulax behind her to come here.

kukutux did not allow herself to dwell upon this. "raimo," she called softly, hoping in spite of all that had happened he might come before her. but her eyes remained upon the mountain, and she felt the dull ache of falling stones resounding again in her blood.

She called for him. A part of him would always yearn for time to reverse and place them together in the dark of the ulaq; but he waited now for Jakoul and had to be satisfied with his choice. Raimo was slow to acquiesce. He stood and looked around in a distracted fashion before prowling closer.

And there was distance. Physical, shortening with his stride, but present nonetheless. A silence brewed between them he would not break. All seemed well, otherwise.

all was well. all was not. he had come back and yet he was scarce. he existed on the outside of moonglow but he had not left the deep places inside kukutux. 

but she suspected that her name no longer lived within him, and with this she must make her peace.

"i have a gift for you," she said, thinking of the rich mink pelt that lay curing near her new densite. it had reminded her of him with its dark gloss; it had reminded her of many things. the duck did not want strife between them any longer.

she waited for shadowhunter to speak back.

I'm leaving.

It wasn't what he had intended to say, yet there it was. Cutting through her offer, this momentary peace they had found, strained as it was. His voice boomed with more emphasis than intended; a thunderclap.

Raimo was not sure where he would go. He was not sure if he truly meant to leave either, or if he only said that to garner some response from her; something beyond the sad staring of her eyes, or the fleeting glances stolen from one-another as they crossed paths any other moment.

He waited until she could experience something, then moved ahead with an explanation: I cannot be where I am not trusted, not wanted. He thought of the dark woman's body suddenly, yearning for her for a long, intense moment.

I found and invited the woman as you said to. She was meant to be here, but she is not. So I am unwanted by everyone I come across. Raimo did not lament this. He stated it as fact, but he was not sad about it. He would not let himself be taken in by a woman he only knew physically ever again; it had taken him this long to learn.

I will go.

kuktutux did not have a moment to dream before raimo's tones shadowed her own, filled with a resolution she had feared.

and pain for him, that the woman who had comforted him after the moon's own choice had left the shadowhunter.

she did not know what else to give him, but the sensation of wanting swept through her again, reflected in the glimmer of jadestone as her gaze fell. kukutux wanted to tell him to go, she wanted to ask him to stay, to beg, to throw away the beginning of what had become moonglow. 

but it was not her place to argue with him, and it would not have occurred to the duck to assume he meant more than what he had said.

"this place is your home," she said suddenly, eyes filled with a fervency to match his own low voice. "it does not matter how far you travel away, it will call to you." not a prayer, not a curse; something zealous, heart to match the snap of a thousand things inside her spirit. 

"i will wait."

It has never been a home to me, he snapped back before he could help himself. Her fervent gaze met the shard of gold set in his glare, but he did not say anything else, listening to her promise.

She would wait? And what of him, waiting all this time, working the land, trying to earn her trust and his rightful place? She would wait for him? He had done all the waiting; he had done all the work, while she sat back and slept! It was jarring to hear her say this so easily, so flippantly.

You will forget. He intoned with a scowl. In time you will find someone to keep company in your ulaq. Perhaps she had already; he was done, though. Burned by her denial with the leftover ashes trampled by the dark embrace of another. Cast in to the wind to be forgotten.

Raimo did not want to admit how right she was. That in the coming days he would think of her and pine. That the sight of any mountain ledge would bring to mind thoughts of her body, or the wind might whisper to him with her voice.

Sullenly he turned and began to stalk away from her, falling easily in to the shadow of the ruined mountain trails, where he was enveloped completely.

no words came to her.

she watched raimo leave for the last time, fading into the blackness cast by the peak she had once loved, where she had once loved. the place her children had taken their first breaths and she had found a sister in the dark bear and the sleek ostrega clan. pulled down now, pulled down into a thousand crushing rocks.

and raimo — breath hitched in her throat and kukutux pushed herself upright.

i will not forget! she told herself in a harsh furor, and what remained of raimo's earshot would catch the end of her moonsong, sung upright and firm above the windswept trees.