Cassiopeia's View Are you sick of all the tags yet?

She was a little roughed up and sore in a way that made her wonder if she had a bruised rib. Towhee didn’t let that stop her from hastening back to The Heartwood, where she found a (slightly worried) @Jack Snipe and @Phox talking whilst @Sable and @Towhee Jr fought over a rabbit’s foot in the background.

-“If you like venison, follow me,”- she announced simply before turning and going back the way she’d come.

And that was how the party of five came to settle around the carcass of a doe on Cassiopeia’s View. Over their meal, Towhee regaled them with the story of the crazy hunt. She talked with her mouth full but that was okay, since she signed most of it.

Feeling fat and sassy—and, honestly, really fucking achy all over—Towhee settled down beside Phox afterward. They didn’t talk, just enjoyed one another’s silent company as they digested. They had quite the view of the wilds, all the way out to the ocean at the distant horizon. The sun slowly sank toward it and everything gradually grew dark as night fell.

After what might’ve been hours, Towhee broke the silence to confess, Phox? I don’t think I want to go back to the vale.

playing it as though towhee already knows about figgy boy, since phox would have told her right away... but the thread isn't that far along yet, lol.

Phox was mid-swallow when Towhee finally spoke, and he nearly choked (apparently this is a theme with him) when she confessed she did not want to return to the vale. There was nothing keeping him there, with Towhee, Jack, and the girls right here. But there was Figment. And there was the whole feeling like he'd finally started to find his groove there. But his groove would always be with Towhee and the kids, he reminded himself.

-Somebody will have to go back and get Fig,- he said once he'd recovered from his choking fit.

Towhee knew he would probably support her, though it was quite the loaded comment. Phox promptly started to choke. Towhee leaped to her feet, fully prepared to mount her brother in some mummer’s farce of the Heimlich maneuver. Fortunately, he recovered on his own, leaving her to sink back to the ground with some grunts and winces.

Despite her aches and pains, she smiled at his response. There were a lot of logistics to sort through but—aside from nearly dying—he hadn’t batted an eyelash. Towhee appreciated that inherent support so much, she felt choked up for a moment.

Absolutely. And I don’t want to just bail on Epoch either. Do you think… maybe… they’d be willing to relocate? I’d suggest we merge with Moonspear but I don’t think they have room for five of us, much less an entire pack, Towhee thought aloud, frowning.

Huh. He hadn't really thought of that. Would Arsenio and Tamar want to move. Technically Towhee was in a leadership role now, something bestowed on her shortly before Maxim's disappearance. Phox also may have taken stock of how many women resided on Moonspear's slopes while he was there, too... And that was never a bad thing. His prospects in Epoch were basically nonexistent.

And yet... He couldn't help but think of Maxim. What if he returned to an empty vale? How would he know where to go? Could they leave someone behind? Or at least somebody to check on the place every once in awhile? Phox certainly hadn't given up on seeing him return, especially since he'd had his own bouts of absence over the years.

-What happens when Maxim comes back?- he asked.

Phox asked the million dollar question. Towhee didn’t answer right away, directing her gaze out into the night. It was so dark now, she couldn’t see them, but she looked in the general direction of the Sunspires.

He’s not coming back. Maxim is dead. There’s no other explanation I’ll accept, she said finally and with finality.

Sighing through her nose, Towhee leaned her head against her brother’s shoulder and lapsed back into their companionable silence. She had been thinking a lot during the prior one, now her brain whirled even faster.

Could you or Jack go back and talk to them? I have no idea what they’ll think. But it’s not just about Maxim… or Leo… Towhee swallowed thickly. It’s about Tikal too, and all the other packs. It’s too crowded there. Remember the strath? It’s like living in a fishbowl again, only instead of being trapped by rock walls, we’re trapped by our own kind.

He couldn't comprehend it.

-Towhee, what the fuck?- he said when she tried to lean into him. -That guy was nothing but good to you, and you're going to give him—what—two weeks? A month? Niamh was downright cruel to me, and I followed her to the ends of the earth. I know you and Maxim weren't as deeply in love, or maybe you were, but this is really fucked up to just...- Phox couldn't even complete the thought. Had Towhee thought he was dead when he was gone? Would she give up on him so easily?

-I'll stay in the vale,- he said, resolute. -You and Jack have got the kids covered. But I liked Maxim—I still do—and he's the kids' dad. I can't just leave a dad out there wondering where his kids went.- It stung, and Phox felt a rush of what he had felt for Niamh, and it wasn't the good parts of their relationship.

He pulled away so quickly, Towhee lurched. She blinked up at him, also having a tough time comprehending. She followed his every word despite the gloom, her mouth slightly ajar and her heart sinking.

What about everything he’d said to her before? “Let’s stay here.” “What if I can’t?” “Then we don’t.”

She was so thrown, she didn’t know what to say. Could she even speak? Her limbs were shaking slightly. Towhee’s mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. Her wide eyes stared at her brother in the dark.

He softened, knowing he'd gotten himself riled up by remembering himself into Maxim's position. -I'm sorry, Towhee. I can't help but think of how I felt when Niamh... I just think we need to give it a little bit more time. I'll follow you—I always will—but I can't help feeling like we need to give him some way to find us. If there's even the smallest chance he's out there, he deserves to know his kids. We won't stay, but there's got to be a way to let him know where we went.-

Her heart felt like a jackhammer in her chest even when Phox’s expression softened. Some of what he said was probably fair, though Towhee couldn’t really compute anything past the way he’d pulled away from her when she’d tried to lean on him.

For a while, Towhee still couldn’t speak. She slowly began processing everything he’d said. She felt sick over the comparisons he drew. She remembered the way he’d nearly killed himself chasing after Niamh and his babies. That was part of the reason why she refused to put her life on hold, wasting it with vain hopes.

Pragmatically speaking, there was no reason why she couldn’t accommodate her brother’s request to leave a communique of some kind for Maxim(’s ghost). Towhee probably would’ve humored him despite herself if he’d prodded her about it. But he’d kind of exploded on her and she was still reeling.

Okay. We don’t even know if Epoch is willing to relocate, she said faintly after a while. If they are, we can figure out something. But please… Phox… please don’t leave me too, Towhee whispered wretchedly.

-I won't,- he assured her. He would not, in fact, stay behind in the vale if Epoch up and left, but he would find a way to leave a message for Maxim. He would likely haunt the place as often as he could, making sure there was a clear trail from there to wherever they ended up. Now it was his turn to lean in and give her a warm embrace. He knew it was a bit of a whiplash, but again he thought of Vesper, Prevost, and Peregrine, only the latter of which had ever really recognized him as a father. He didn't want that for Maxim.

He pulled back after a moment. -Sorry again about... Guess I'm not as over the whole thing as I thought I was.- And maybe it really was better that he was still single, playing the field, rather than getting himself into something serious too quickly.

He would probably feel her shaking when he went to hug her, though she was so relieved that she returned it fiercely. She didn’t care about her dignity, not when it came to Phox. She wasn’t above begging. Luckily, she didn’t need to do that, though she still felt quite out of sorts as she pulled back a moment later.

I won’t lie to you, you really threw me, she admitted, then took a huge breath. But it’s okay. It’s not like I can hold it against you. I know it’s coming from a good place. And I know what you’ve been through, Towhee said quietly, reaching out to place her paw on Phox’s shoulder before it slid to rest over his heart.

When she set her leg down, she looked over at the kids for a moment, eyes tight and mouth pensive. Towhee took another couple of deep, cleansing breaths before facing Phox again.

I’m sure Jackie feels exactly the same way you do about leaving breadcrumbs for Maxim. So we’ll do that, no matter what. Okay? She paused. Would you like to go back to Epoch to convey all of this to Tamar? I guess Arsenio stepped down, so the decision is up to her, and me.

Maybe he would never find another lady to shack up with, but Phox knew he really did have all he needed right here. Platonically co-parenting her kids and getting to be their phother filled a lot of what he was looking for in life. He only wished he could share it with Maxim, too. But he tried not to dwell on it.

And then, a task. Return to Epoch and see what Tamar thought of the idea. Phox sucked in a breath, thinking the last time he'd been formally ordered to do anything was back when he was with Mereo.

-Yeah. I'll set out tomorrow morning and see what Fig wants to do, too.- The darkness had all but settled in, and Phox was pretty sure he heard one of the kids snoring already, belly full. -Guess I should get some sleep. Wanna cuddle?- he asked, finding a soft spot and leaving a spot open in case the answer was yes.

It was a big ask—really big. But Phox didn’t seem fazed. Towhee almost wanted to cry in relief, not just because he’d agreed to do this for her but because she had been truly afraid she’d lost him a few minutes ago.

Thank you, she said with feeling. You know your support means everything, right?

Where would she be if Phox wasn’t here for her? Towhee shuddered to think. No, really, she literally shuddered.

Yeah, that sounds really nice, she sighed when he invited her to cuddle.

As she curled up beside him, Towhee closed her eyes. Sleep eluded her, though. She kept thinking of what he’d said. And worrying about how his meeting with Tamar would go. Guilt ate at her.

And, of course, she grieved. ”I know you and Maxim weren’t as deeply in love…” Hot, thick tears oozed out from beneath her closed eyelids.