Redhawk Caldera I wanna take you into the sunlight.

She did not end up going to Moonglow, even for a visit. She heaved herself back up the caldera's slopes and sprawled in her usual spot beside the creek. Hopefully Bronco would tell Meerkat to come by when she could, because Towhee was stuck and the pups would be here soon. With that thought in mind, she made herself as comfortable as she could and fell asleep.

The following morning, Towhee woke up from the strangest dream. But it inspired an idea, one which felt kind of strange but also right. It prompted her to hoist herself onto her feet and go in search of @Ruenna.

Rue wasn't much of a sleeper anymore, thanks to the ever-present ache in her lower back. She tried to find ways to productive with the extra time, but as luck would have it, the same injury that prevented her from resting also rendered her near-useless for any kind of real work. 

Rue squatted to refresh a territory marker. At least she could still pee. Not that her markers on the rim of the caldera would do all that much good-- by the time a trespasser made it up here, the sting of Towhee's teeth would have already sealed his fate. Towhee kept that border locked down pretty tight. 

Well, usually she did, at least. There had been something dramatic going on with leadership lately, and Towhee seemed to have made herself somewhat scarce. Rue was equal parts proud that she had kept her nose out of it and guilty that she hadn't yet checked on Towhee, as a friend. There was a time that she had fancied herself as something of an advisor to leadership, but she had been burned enough times now to know not to offer advice when it wasn't requested. 

So she simply went about her business, trying to make herself useful while waiting for the dust to clear.

It took a while, considering how slowly she moved. Her feet were sore as well as swollen, not to mention her huge belly. She had to stop and rest every few minutes. But she eventually caught her comrade's scent and began to track it. She found her near the caldera's rim, coming to a stop down below her as she was equal parts unable and unwilling to make the climb right now.

"Hey, you!" she shouted up to Rue. Towhee almost asked her to come down here, then she remembered the stiff way the Tradesman tended to walk. "Meet in the middle?" she called out instead, picking up her own weary feet and beginning a very careful, sluggish ascent.

At the halfway point, Towhee let her legs relax as she sank gingerly to the ground. She panted a little and looked to Ruenna. "I want to ask you something," she said between breaths. "You've been my advisor, my friend, my second-in-command. What do you think about taking on a new title?" Wait for it. "Baby daddy?"

Rue returned Towhee's greeting with a cheerful bark, the wave of her tail visible over the rim of the caldera. 

They both paused for a beat, and it was clear that neither of them fancied the thought of being the one to close the distance. Meet in the middle?  Rue winced inwardly, but nodded dutifully. Downhill wreaked absolute hell on her lower back, but if such a heavily-pregnant Towhee could drag herself up, Rue could certainly hobble down. 

She took the decent slowly, weaving a zigzag pattern down the face of the caldera. When she had Towhee finally caught up to one another, they were both panting from exertion. Some pair of guardians they made, huh? Good thing the caldera defended itself, for the most part.

Towhee wanted to ask her something. 

"Should I be scared?" Rue asked, taking advantage of the pause between Towhee's breaths. She couldn't help but think back to their last conversation-- you know, the one where Towhee suggested that Rue go start a new pack and, while she was at it, marry her son. 

A new title? Rue tilted her head curiously. Did she mean to make Rue a Regent? Rue knew that feelings were running high between leadership, but stars, she hadn't expected...

"Baby Daddy?"

Rue blinked. It seemed to be her go-to reaction these days in her conversations with Towhee. A beat later, her brow furrowed. How in the star-studded sky did Towhee expect Rue to father her--? 

Oh wait. Towhee was already pregnant. That would simplify the mechanics of it, at least. 

"You.. you want me to help you parent your litter?" Rue clarified, incredulous. She was used to the Redhawks and their unorthodox parenting arrangements, but the idea of being involved in something like that herself had never crossed her mind. She'd always just kind of thought of it as a Redhawk thing.

In hindsight, maybe pitching it this way wasn't the best idea. Towhee finally caught her breath and maneuvered into a slightly more comfortable position, leaning on one foreleg to take the pressure off her ballooning midsection. She tried to keep her eyes on Rue's face as she did so, to catch whatever reaction she would get to that absolutely ludicrous pitch. Unsurprisingly, her pack mate seemed a little taken aback.

"Sorry, that was crass," the Sovereign apologized, "but yeah. I know it's a lot to ask and it's not nearly the same thing as having your own. But I could honestly really use the help, if you're up for it. Phox is doing what he can but he has to worry about his mate, who's also injured on top of pregnant. And the pups' biological father is no longer part of the picture, seeing as he was the one who injured her." She meant to mention Eljay's abandonment too but couldn't even bring herself to talk about it.

Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I haven't even found a den yet. I was wondering if you've been staying anywhere in particular and whether you'd mind some roommates? Or you could help me find someplace suitable... again, if you're up for it." Towhee should've added a disclaimer about no obligations or pressure but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She just gazed up at Rue, feeling needier than ever.

Towhee apologized for her delivery, which was unnecessary. Rue was pretty much used to that kind of straightforward abruptness from Towhee. 

Towhee went on to describe a situation that seemed incredibly difficult. What was unspoken was the fact that in the midst of all this trouble in the leadership ranks, the Caldera seemed to be struggling to hold onto their member base. Rue had seen this happen before. In Blacktail Deer Plateau, when all of the love-triangle nonsense had been brewing between Liri, Kavik, and Grezig, their members seemed to sense the trouble and began disappearing, one by one. Eventually, they didn't have a large enough member base to keep the coyotes from overrunning Blacktail Deer Plateau. It seemed clear to Rue that the drama in the leadership ranks had led to the ultimate downfall of the pack. She hoped that history wouldn't repeat itself in in the Caldera. 

Rue simply nodded after the explanation. She certainly had questions, but they were not here to discuss those events. After a breath, Towhee turned the conversation back to the pups and their needs. 

"Okay. I'll do it." Rue agreed quietly. She would have agreed to just about anything, if it would banish that thread of desperation in her friend's request. The Sovereign was usually so confident, and it hurt Rue's heart to see her taken down a peg. "I just sleep where I drop lately--" Or not at all. "--But we'll find a place. Maybe south of the forest, near the creek?" Rue injected her voice with a more upbeat tone than usual, trying to make up for the confidence that Towhee seemed to have misplaced. 

Even though she hadn't intended it that way, it felt a bit like Towhee was dangling the official parent title in front of Rue like a carrot-- perhaps out of anxiety or even desperation. The reminder that Rue would not have her own litter this season was a painful squeeze on her heart. If Towhee needed her help, all she had to do was ask. No incentives were necessary. Rue would step into whatever role Towhee needed her to fill, for however long Towhee needed her to fill it-- not because she would get something for herself out of it, but because that was what loyalty and friendship meant to Rue. If Towhee needed her to be daddy right now, then she would be daddy. Later, if Phox or a new lover stepped up to assume the role, or if the baby daddy himself reemerged, and Towhee needed Rue to stand aside.. she would do that too.

Towhee actually shook a little when Rue agreed to step up and help her. So many people had let her down lately: Reyes, Niamh, Eljay... but she could count on Rue, as well as her brother. It was still a lot, though the Sovereign felt such immeasurable relief knowing the Tradesman was committed to helping.

"Rue, thank you," Towhee said sincerely before addressing her comment about dens. "I've been hanging out by the creek a lot lately. I'm sure we can find something around there. I think we should start near the southern stretch of the woods, then work our way further south, see what we can find."

She wondered if they would come across the Blackthorn den. Had Eljay bothered to fix it up before bailing? Towhee grimaced at the thought. Regardless, she refused to use it. It would just remind her of the caretaker's abandonment. She was tempted to destroy it, though she would never dishonor her godparents' memory that way.

Pushing herself upright, the Sovereign prepared to get on the move again. "I think this goes without saying but, like, no homo. I'd still love to find you a great guy so you can have the family you want." She smiled tiredly as she righted herself, taking the first plodding step.

"It's a plan." Rue smiled encouragingly. They seemed to be thinking along the same lines as far as den placement, which was good. Hopefully, all their parenting decisions would be similarly unanimous. 

Towhee prepared herself to get going, and Rue did the same, assuming that they would leave immediately to put their plan in action. No one really knew how much time they had before Towhee popped, after all. As they started off, Towhee spoke up to reassure her of "no homo," whatever that meant. Rue's roleplayer is pretty sure that Rue has never come into contact with homosexuality, and that she would not even be familiar with the concept. 

From context clues, Rue gathered that Towhee was trying to tell her that she did not intend to weigh Rue down with extended responsibilities toward this Redhawk litter or future litters, once these pups were weaned and self-sufficient. Rue nodded in understanding (even though she didn't actually understand, kek). 

"Okay, what else do we need to do..?" Rue asked after a pause. She was mostly just thinking aloud. Food. The pups needed food. While the pups were nursing, Towhee would be eating more and hunting less, so someone else would have to take up the slack. "One of us-- whoever runs into New Guy first-- can talk with him about hunting. Make sure he knows there will be more hungry mouths in a few weeks." Someone had mentioned that New Guy was going for a hunting role, right? Or had Rue imagined that? 

"Aand.. I can check in on Eljay. I'll tell him where the den is, once we decide, and I'll make sure he has his supplies there for the birth." Rue knew that they were dangerously low on medical supplies after the flooding wiped out their stores, but hopefully Eljay had managed to scrape together what he needed. 

Rue fell quiet, looking to Towhee to fill in with whatever else Rue hadn't thought about. Towhee was the one who had done this before, after all.

Rue began tallying up a to-do list and even delegating tasks. It brought a smile to the rundown Sovereign's face. "Lenny," she supplied. "Phox is doing his best to provide but he has Niamh to worry about, so it's a good call to task Lenny with it." But could he hunt? "Can learn." Hoo boy...

The small smile slipped right off her face when Rue brought up Eljay. Towhee felt like someone had punched her in the throat. "Eljay's gone," she said tightly around the lump there. "Went to live with his girlfriend in Brecheliant." She saw Maia's face in her mind's eye. "He needed some space. I can... give him a message, though?" Rue could theoretically call on him there, though Towhee wasn't sure she could make that trip easily.

"Think we're on our own," she added darkly, then caught herself and Rue's eye, "but only until Fennec gets back. Which I'm really hoping happens sometime soon." Towhee abruptly thought of the Blackthorn den again. "He might've left supplies in the Blackthorn den, although I'm not actually sure where that is. We can keep an eye out. Now let's hustle," she finished with a lopsided smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

The news about Eljay surprised Rue.

"Wh- ..Really? He seemed so.." Rooted? Ruenna thought back to her last conversation with the caregiver, in which he had told her that he rarely left the Caldera. He had described the Caldera as safe. As his home. Rue could think of only one reason that Eljay would depart the Caldera with his girlfriend: he wanted a family. And as Towhee had made clear to Rue, there was no room in the Caldera for another family. 

Rue's frown mirrored Towhee's. Was this to be her fate too? Would she someday be forced to choose between love and family, and the place she called home? 

Towhee prompted for them to get a move on, and Rue nodded. "Hustle" was not the best word to describe the way the pair moved, lumbering and limping respectively, slowly making progress eastward.

*drops this here for quick visual reference* :D

And while I was writing this post, I had the idea to base their den off a hobbit hole?! :D

"Really," Towhee muttered. It was such a sore spot, though she felt a little bad for smearing Rue with her bad mood. She let out a sigh and explained, "I'm pretty upset about it." It was tempting to tell her pack mate why—how Eljay had bailed after promising to stay close—especially since it was part of why she needed her friend's help so much now. But Towhee actually bit her tongue and stopped short of throwing him under the bus, more for Rue's sake than his.

It took quite a while, though Towhee wasn't in any particular hurry. They reached the southern corner of Evergreen Woods. It probably wasn't a good idea to find something too close to the water, though she found herself drawn there. She led Rue to the bank and took a drink since they were there. She peered out at the little island, which reminded her of The Roost back on Heron Lake Plateau. She thought of Orca and X, then forced herself to focus.

"Okay. Let's head this way," Towhee suggested, pointing south along the shoreline, which corroborated their earlier game plan. "And maybe move away from the water a bit. I like the idea of being near water but the creek is probably a safer bet. And not too close... maybe not even within view of it." She thought about where she'd rested for that bleak week and recollected aloud, "The land starts to slope up toward the ridge line directly east of the creek. It's grassy for the first stretch until it gives way to the rockier part of the wall. I bet we could find a hidey hole somewhere up there. Maybe even with a view.

Rue frowned. She didn't feel great about Eljay's departure either, especially with Towhee's delivery on the horizon. Not to mention he had also promised to collect some herbs to help Rue with her back pain. 

The Sovereign was usually pretty relaxed about the comings and going of their packmates, so Rue was pretty sure that there was more to this story than what she had been told so far. Or maybe Towhee was just extra hormonal and feeling her losses more than usual. She had lost a lot in a short period of time, after all. 

Rue enjoyed their walk. It was a nice change of pace, to limp along without feeling the need to push herself to keep up with her company. Towhee seemed to have a pretty specific idea of what she wanted. Rue was fine with that. She was just along for the ride, and she was agreeable with everything Towhee voiced. It struck her that Towhee seemed to need far less help with this than she had originally claimed; perhaps she just wanted someone to bounce ideas off of? A little confidence boost?

"The hill would be perfect," Rue agreed, conjuring up the fuzzy memory of what that specific place looked like. She was much less familiar with the Caldera than she would have liked, just because of how difficult it was for her to get around.

Rue concurred and Towhee didn't stop to think about whether her pack mate might have some preferences, like not living at the top of a hill due to chronic back pain. The Sovereign continued leading the way, making note of Rue's slow going without putting too much stock into it as they followed the gentle upward grade and, indeed, found a few different burrows, foxholes and the like to consider.

She discarded several options out of hand for one reason or another before coming across an immediate favorite. Although the entrance was almost too wide—the inhabitants would be fairly exposed to the elements—it led into an airy, dimly lit space beneath a particularly pronounced hump on the caldera's inner wall. Lush green grass grew atop it, even this early in the season, and there was even a tree topside. Towhee wondered if its roots would disrupt the space directly below it but when she led Ruenna inside, there were only a few manageable danglers.

"This," she announced after padding around the perimeter of the interior wall, "this is it." She emerged back outside and noticed the view from the doorway for the first time. "This is definitely it," Towhee reiterated, orange eyes seeking Rue, wondering what she thought.

They picked their way through the territory slowly, appraising the area in a way that way entirely new to Rue. Looking through the lens of a potential parent, everything just seemed so dangerous. A trickling stream, an abandoned badger den (what if it came back?!), a rocky precipice... Rue knew they didn't have time to be too discerning, but none of this felt entirely comfortable.

They arrived at the hill, and they quickly discovered the yawning opening at the base. Thank the stars. Rue didn't know what she would have done if the mouth of the den had been at the top of the hill.. just the thought of traveling up and down an incline like that multiple times a day made her pale. 

"If it's not perfect, it's close," Rue assured Towhee. We can work with this. The mouth was a little wide, but the grasses would likely be taller once it was time for the pups to come, affording some additional protection and acting as a deterrent to any little escape artists who might be within.  As for the inside, it could use a little bit of digging here and there, but honestly not all that much. It was a really lucky find.

She grinned and waved her tail at Rue's approving agreement. Towhee turned to stand sideways in the doorway so she could continue enjoying the view and also look inside if she turned her head. She then eased onto her haunches, her back brushing the cool wall of the threshold.

"I had a dream about you last night," the Sovereign shared, apropos of nothing. She was peering down at her baby belly but looked up to let Rue know she was talking about her. "I'm glad you said yes," Towhee added, exhaling a little emphatically since there was so much pressure on her midsection.

It would take some work to make this house a home, though Towhee felt they'd done enough for now. "I say we rest a while and then do some interior decorating after a long nap," the Sovereign proposed as she leaned to one side and then dipped forward so that she could slide to the floor without putting all her weight on her belly.

"Oh?" Rue responded to Towhee's admission, curious and a little flattered. However, in the time it took Towhee to sigh heavily, the subject was changed, and it seemed unlikely that Rue would learn any details about the dream. 

"I'm glad you said yes."

What else could she have said? Whatever Towhee needed, all she had to do was ask. The answer would always be yes. 

"I'm glad you asked," Rue returned, and not only in politeness. She had felt hopelessly unuseful since her arrival at the Caldera, struggling to find a role she could fill given that anything requiring movement was pretty much out of the question. It stood to reason that caring for the newest generation would restore some sense of purpose in the Redfern. 

...And that was just about as far as they were going to get with that conversation. Towhee declared it time for a nap, and far be it from Rue to delay the expecting mother's rest. Rue nodded into agreement. She then eased herself onto the cool dirt of the den floor, her stiff movements markedly less graceful than Towhee's slide. 

Sun and stars! When the pups got here, Rue just hoped she could keep up!