Northstar Vale Rack and ruin.

Towhee sat on the far western edge of Wraen’s Nest. She could see @Jack Snipe playing with @Sable and @Towhee Jr in the distance, their silhouettes framed by the willows edging the spring. It was such an idyllic picture, except that Maxim should’ve been seated beside her, the two of them cracking jokes as they watched their kids play together.

Her jaw tightened. She felt an intense urge to run away. She would never leave her kids, of course, especially not now that their father was gone. @Phox had urged her to stay. She knew Arsenio and @Tamar wanted her here too. Now @Aquene and @Kallik had found their way to the vale. But Towhee’s skin prickled with the desire to pick them up and flee this place.

Sleep, food, and proper care medical had done the healer quite well even if she was still healing on all fronts. Her energy was still low, but she knew it would take time to build it back up. Rather than laying around the den all day she felt like she needed to at least attempt to be a functional member of society… something she had not felt as if she were for quite some time. She was circling part of the territory, if only to learn the lay of the land. While she had been in Epoch before, it was not long enough to know what nooks or crannies might linger.

It was then that she saw a familiar sight, a smile forming on her face as she moved towards her, missing the tension in the woman’s jaw as she made her way around so the woman would see her. “Towhee!” There was clear elation in her voice as her tail wagged.

She wondered if she was losing her mind. It sort of felt that way, especially when her thoughts ran away from her and took such dark roads. Towhee tried to distract herself by focusing on her kids—literally, not just figuratively. Recalling some tricks from Raven’s “yogurt” lessons of yore, she started to describe them to herself, her lips moving soundlessly.

Someone darted into her visual field much closer at hand. Towhee’s heart leaped into her throat as her brain screamed, Maxim?! The build and fur color were right, though everything else was all wrong. She should’ve been thrilled to see her friend—a  little worse for wear but clearly happy to see her—but she felt crushed by the weight of disappointment.

And that, in turn, pissed her off with abrupt and breathtaking intensity. Was she really going to live her life haunted by hope of Maxim’s return? It reminded her of the way she thought she’d see Leona out of the corner of her eye all the time following her death. That had been horrible and this was somehow worse. Leo was dead and gone. Eventually Towhee’s mind had accepted that and her daughter no longer haunted her at every turn. But there were no answers when it came to Maxim. There was no closure.

Fuck, Towhee seethed, turning her head away from poor Aquene for a moment to collect herself and try to tamp down this fire suddenly raging in her chest. Aquene, she mumbled a moment later, still not looking at her friend. I thought… Towhee almost lied, then let the truth ooze out of her like blood. I thought you were Maxim.