Northstar Vale Picture a place where it all doesn’t hurt.

Upon her return to the vale, Towhee did exactly what she’d told @Maxim she would do: she made her way to Saffron Grove, slipped into the cave there and mindlessly devoured the small heap of mushrooms still sitting there. She threw up right afterward but nobody needed to know that.

After that, she retired to the roost for some rest. She thought she saw Leo as she settled down to sleep, just out of the corner of her eye. Towhee turned toward the shadows at the back of the cave but of course the girl wasn’t there. She sighed, closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her.

When she woke, evening light slanted past the den’s doorway. Towhee let out a shaky breath and stepped outside, looking toward the nearby spring and what lay beyond: Wraen’s Nest. What had @Arsenio and @Tamar done to Leo’s grave, she wondered? She wasn’t certain she was ready to find out.

She took a step and stopped, distracted by a familiar fluttering deep inside her.

that same flicker was in tamar.

it guided her to the grief of towhee as if the older woman was a beacon. tamar knew death and knew sadness, but not this. 

new life, shared between them; when she found towhee it was only to offer a soft look and then the embrace of her arms.

she did not understand. she did not want to understand. but she could give a warm place for towhee to experience this horrendous loss, a pillowing of love for a stricken head, as much as she and arsenio had done for leona's long sleep.

Towhee really wasn’t the spiritual sort. She didn’t believe she was really haunted by her daughter’s ghost. She knew it was just her mind playing tricks on her. But as she stood there and breathed through the sensation of life quickening in her womb, she found herself wishing that Leo’s soul would somehow find its way in there and she could be reborn.

Tamar’s arrival pushed that errant thought from her mind. When the Morphe went to embrace her, Towhee eased into it. She thought about what Maxim told her—“warmth will be there when we go back”—and gave the younger woman a grateful squeeze before pulling back so she could see her face.

I just had to get away for a few days, Towhee felt the need to explain. I didn’t mean to yank my whole family away without warning. But we’re back now.

Phox had been skittering to and fro, trying to give Towhee, Maxim, and Jack space while also not ignoring them. For the most part, he had stayed nearby their den, hunting up what grub he could on three legs, and being a quiet reminder that things would—someday—feel a little bit better. On some level, it felt unfair that he was not as affected by Leona's death as his sister and her family. He had barely known the girl, and he cursed himself for being absent (if not physically, than socially) for so long. He reminded himself that he had to do better.

The Redhawk awoke to the sound of Towhee's unmistakable voice, and he blinked his eyes awake to see another standing there. With Towhee's inflection and behavior, he could only assume it was Arsenio's mate. Hey, he said, blinking a few more times in the light of day. If Towhee wasn't ready for visitors, he would take her queue and redirect the other woman somewhere else. If she was, he was happy to fuck off so she could chat with her friend.

"you are in pain."

tamar needed no apology. "epoch is your home even when you go away, towhee."

her smile was quick and searching.

phox came then. the little morphe stood back, knowing that this man could comfort towhee with the loyalty of long years.

but her attention remained upon towhee.

Towhee appreciated Tamar’s frankness. The sight of the sandy woman’s smile also made her feel a bit better. Not only was she Towhee’s friend, the resemblance to Meerkat would never fail to endear her to the Redhawk matriarch.

The Morphe stepped back, which was what prompted Towhee to turn and spy her brother closing ranks. Towhee offered him a weary smile, grateful for his solidarity at a time like this. But she didn’t want to Tamar to go anywhere and soon faced her again.

Taking a breath to steel herself, Towhee said, I’d be lying if I said I was ready. But I think I do need to visit Leo… her grave.

Towhee made no indication for Tamar to leave, and he stayed where he was. He had not yet been to Leona's grave, unsure of how to process her untimely death from his own perspective. He had known her, but only on the surface, and each day he wished that he had been a better uncle to her. So much had taken him away, and he resolved to be more involved in the future with Towhee's current (and currently baking) children.

Turning to face his sister, he asked, -Do you want company?-

tamar looked quietly toward phox.

-we will be with you, towhee-, the morphe signed in gentle movements, joining them in something that might be easier for her friend than reading her mouth.

the little retinue would leave only when the grieving woman had accepted.

-“Yes, both of you should come,”- Towhee replied before turning and beginning the dreaded march.

It was a bit ironic that Leona didn’t haunt the place where she was buried, though she had never spent much time here in Wraen’s Nest. No, this was more Towhee’s place than anyone’s. Leo’s ghost tended to haunt all the places where she had lived her short life.

The instant she arrived at the small mound, Towhee’s eyes blurred with tears. She swiped at them, wishing to see the decorations laid out for her little girl. But they came fast and hard. Towhee decided not to fight them. Instead, she hung her head and let them come, along with the great gasping sobs that began somewhere deep inside before clawing their way out of her mouth.

Phox moved to Towhee's side, pressing himself there and hoping that Tamar might do the same on the other side. It was all he could do, really. There was a sense of sadness for him, a sense of loss, but it was nothing compared to what Towhee felt. That, at least, he knew. All he could do was be here to help his sister through this.

tamar held towhee as she wept.

tears too came to her eyes. she was grateful then for phox also.

"she will never be forgotten," the epochian said gently, willing towhee to empty herself of grief for now.

Towhee didn’t hear Tamar’s soft words of reassurance but she didn’t need to; the woman’s closeness, alongside her brother’s, held up the grieving woman much more than physically. It would not be easy, living among all these memories of her child, but as time went on, Towhee might come to find comfort in visiting Leo’s final resting place.

For now, she wept openly, knowing neither Phox nor Tamar would judge her for it. She needed the catharsis. And when she wore herself out, she would slowly sink down at their feet, sprawling over her daughter’s grave. Eyes and ears sealed to the world, she would resort to smelling all the fragrant items her loved ones had thought to bring; feeling the tickle of grass and flowers; and sensing her daughter in a way she wouldn’t question any more than she could explain it.

Phox let himself be the rock Towhee needed, exchanging a knowing glance with Tamar briefly before letting himself become emotional as well. He didn't shed a tear—because wolves can't cry—but he let himself give a little sob and Phox curled himself up close to Towhee atop her daughter's grave.

epoch surrounded them.

the vale embraced them.

their grief mingled and was carried upward.

healing, the spirit of leona full-bright in their memory.