Ouroboros Spine thorns

After Cen was dealt with, sequestered, and his family moved to a protected space, Raiyuk was moved as well to a visitor's ulaq.

There, he was visited by @Kukutux who spared no time as she cleaned his wound and worked to apply a paste. He flinched and squirmed against his own wishes, agitated and in pain.

I should have fought back. The boy lamented as he settled. The bite to his neck was deep and had begun to fester, even with the prompt attention. Cen had been smart to aim for the teenager during the altercation.

How could he consider himself a man, now?

her strong jaws chewed more of the numbing willowbark. 

she knew he was a man now. she had put those scars upon him herself. and yet all she saw before her was a forlorn boy, as wide-eyed and saddened as any of her own sunshine sons.

and so for a time she was silent, grunting for him to turn his head this way and that. "the first time you walk in battle, you learn a lesson no one else can teach."

she wound a length of rabbitfur over the salve and patted it into place. "there will be scars, seal hunter. but you are no stranger to scars, hm?"

His ego was wounded more than his flesh. The honor he held, the pride as the son of Chakliux. He had failed! It was like the first seal hunt but worse - because as Cen had clamped his teeth on to him, Raiyuk knew he would never hunt another man like that again.

How could he be a real man if he couldn't defend himself? How would he ever prove himself capable, trustworthy, or strong like his father? No woman would want a man with such weakness.

There would not be scars if I had been faster, or smarter. He grimaced as more attention was given to the wound.

Had his father known? Had this been a test?

"and who told you this?" kukutux gestured to the old scarring upon her own muzzle, the shape of the T branded into her own shoulder.

"each mark has its own story. woven together, they will tell the threads of your life. but you do not need to speak every story aloud. it is for you to know, raiyuk."

He wondered after her own scars; had they been from hunts, or fights? Had the Sunman once been like Cen? That was a darker concept that Raiyuk couldn't hold for long within his mind.

It was not like other hunts, he went on to say, but could not finish the thought. To put it in to words would manifest it in the world in a way he did not want. As if speaking of his failure gave it life and body.

The woman, Red Leaf, and the boy will be safe now. And still, if given the opportunity to protect another in that way, Raiyuk did not think he would involve himself.

The stinging wound, the smell of willow bark and blood, cemented this cowardice inside of his mind.

"and you are part of why they are safe, raiyuk." the moonmother's voice was softly insistent. she would not press upon his mournful self any longer, but instead gathered dried meat and fresh fruit with which to feed him.

"stay until we have judged him, as a man who was there," kukutux urged. it would do well to have a moontide wolf also give his say. no one would speak for cen. it was to be seen now only how many called for his death.

He had not helped except to be present, and he had only impeded the man's escape by being his target. Was it better for his younger body to be cut and bled than that of Heph or Rodyn? He did not wish this on anyone, except maybe the man who had inflicted it.

When asked for his presence, Raiyuk huffed and gathered his thoughts.

What makes a man do these things? But he didn't know the full story of how the man Cen treated his wife, only that she was afraid, only that she had been in need of rescue somehow.

"cruelty. selfishness. bad spirits." there were many reasons. "it is a choice that is made. even in anger, we can choose more wisely than inflicting that anger on another."

"perhaps he does not have a good father or a mother who hits him when he is a child. he learns that this is a way to speak, that pain has its own voice."

He listened and he learned. Agreeing with what Kukutux said, but also not being as forgiving as he perhaps should have been. Raiyuk did not have his mother around and yet he did not attack others in this way; he did not covet the women of the village or beat them, and had never seen his father behave in such a way to those of the lodge. It was an excuse more than an explanation and he wasn't happy with it.

I hope he learns to be better, he mentions innocently enough, showing in a different way that he was not yet a man but still as idealistic as a boy. A sigh pulses through him and he rests his chin between his paws, clearly tired.

perhaps he would.

"rest for a time," she encouraged, knowing he was at his limit for words. "one of us will return to see your wound again."

a lingering look; she stood and would lead raiyuk to one of the nearby dens, to sleep and to be alone in dreams for a time.