Moonspear All of the places we ever go

Bridget didn’t want to go far with Teya in the state she was in, but she also didn’t feel ready or welcome to settle into Brecheliant. Time and time again her friend had shown she wished for something else, and as hard as it was to stifle the hope that sprung forth unbidden in her, she wasn’t about to take advantage of Bronco’s death like that. He deserved better. And Teya deserved the time to mourn.

Wandering suited her for now. She didn’t know the right call to make, at this point, so she took the opportunity to stop by Moonspear and clear her head. Maybe she’d run into a friend. @Sialuk was on her mind as she called, and of course, Keen… but the second woman had disappeared a while back. There was no indication she’d come back.

Bridget didn’t step onto the mountain and instead called a greeting. There was no rush, but she wasn’t sure if her invitation was still open. Best to find out before inviting herself in.

She didn’t join the manhunt. Instead, Towhee continued toward Moonspear. They probably already knew, though she would feel better if she warned them. She couldn’t help but think of her granddaughters. Seal should be at home, safe and sound, but what about Orca?

For that matter, what about the rest of her grandchildren? Towhee thought often of Caracal’s kids, usually with a flush of anger at their mother. Were they still living on the island? She ought to go back and check, though she recoiled at the thought of revisiting the place where her son had needlessly suffered and died.

Feeling decidedly on edge, Towhee approached the foot of the mount and spotted a pale figure ahead. She thought of Fennec and Meerkat, though it wasn’t either one of her daughters, of course. Still, there was something familiar about her, even from behind, especially considering her missing leg…

Bridget…? Towhee blurted, her dour mood lifting considerably. No shit, it is you.

Bridget was certainly not expecting a familiar face to come from behind. She spun around as someone called out, and broke out in a delighted laugh when she saw who it was.

Towhee!? Holy shit!! It’s been ages, how are you!? She moved away from the border a bit, closing the distance between them in the process. Someone from the mountain would likely come, but until then, she definitely wanted to catch up here.

It had been years since she’d seen her savior, yet Towhee’s feelings remained as strong as ever. She favored Bridget with a beaming smile, her dour mood entirely forgotten now as she wondered if she should go in for the hug. It felt perhaps a bit too familiar, so instead she gently nudged one of the woman’s shoulders after they moved back from the borders a ways.

I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch, Dr Bridget, Towhee acknowledged, but I’m good, all things considered. I haven’t had any more near-death experiences… well, not like that one, anyway.

Yes, she’d gone through a lot in her life but that snakebite had been her closest call to date. To think, she would’ve missed out on so much if Bridget hadn’t saved her life back then. Towhee wouldn’t have known any of her grandchildren, not to mention given birth to several of her own children. It was a sobering thought.

What about you? Are you still living in Brecheliant? she asked, wondering what might’ve brought her here to Moonspear.

Bridget laughed and waved a dismissive paw, settling back on her haunches in the process to maintain balance. Keeping in touch goes both ways, and that’s hard to do when there’s no reason to cross paths. She answered amicably. I’m actually glad you haven’t needed me since. Doctors love not getting calls. These words were delivered with a wink.

The question of where she was staying wasn’t hard, but it was fraught. Towhee doubtless wasn’t interested in the details. I’ve been traveling more than anything else. Finding those that need help, seeing new places. It’s hard to settle these days.

It wasn’t the worst life, but it did get lonely at times. Rather than explain the whys or hows, most of which she barely understood herself, Bridget turned the question back with a friendly nudge. Did you pick up and move the family home somewhere else, then?

It was so easy to like Bridget. Even if she hadn’t saved Towhee’s life, she thought she would've been rather fond of her. She was just so easygoing and low maintenance. It wouldn’t seem like they had much in common otherwise, though when Bridget mentioned traveling and difficulty settling, the Redhawk’s brows rose a little.

No shit, she repeated under her breath, answering, My family’s now spread across several different packs, so I actually travel back and forth, round and round. Mostly I visit my adult children and their children. Since there’s roughly 4,822 of them, it keeps me pretty busy. But I totally get the feeling about settling. I was just pondering whether I should stay in one of their villages for the winter…

Her eyes cast up the nearby mountainside again, thinking idly of Seal. Even if Orca had been here too, both of them were about to become young adults. She didn’t think they’d actually mind if she hung around, though she was pretty sure neither one of them would necessarily be staying with Moonspear in the coming months. If she did choose to settle somewhere for the season, this place wasn’t the most logical choice.

Turning her attention back to Bridget, she wondered, So, what brings you to Mooonspear today?

Towhee’s experience struck a different sort of chord with Bridget. She’d never really wanted a family, not in the traditional sense, but it was hard not to feel jealous of the way Towhee casually spoke of visiting hers. She’d loved being “Aunt Bridget” to Sorana, but given up her chance with Teya’s younger kids when she removed herself from the picture.

I’m just looking to visit old friends. And in complete honesty? I was thinking of setting down some kind of roots, at least for a while. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but Moonspear seemed ideal for the winter. Brecheliant is complicated, right now. And traveling around fixing strangers up is great, it just doesn’t lead to many lasting friendships. Yourself excluded. Towhee was a rare encounter. It was nice to meet someone as personable, and seemingly open, as she herself tried to be.

I promised to stay close, or I’d just offer to follow and see where you end up. She added with a laugh. If only! It was heartening that Towhee had reason to at least visit here. For a friendly wolf, her list of actual friends was pretty sparse.

Bridget mentioned putting down roots, which Towhee definitely understood, though she couldn’t help but wonder why that hadn’t happened with Brecheliant. Then she said it was complicated. Now the Redhawk was more curious than ever, though she didn’t know if it was her place to ask for the gory details.

Which old friends? she wondered, guessing, Sialuk? Whether or not she was correct, Towhee said, Moonspear's fantastic. I spent a while here, earlier this year. My daughters have since moved on too but my granddaughter, Seal, is still here, for now, anyway. I bet she’d love you. She's actually studying healing, so maybe you could help teach her, if you wind up here.

Towhee might not plan to stay here herself, though no matter where she picked—if she did settle, which was still undecided in and of itself—she wouldn’t be far. Unless she went to Kvarsheim, she supposed. But that place had seemed pretty crowded the last time she’d been there. She knew Tauris had appreciated her visit but she had quite the support system there already, Fig included.

You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, she said, guiding her thoughts back to the conversation at hand, but if you want to talk about Brecheliant, I’m a weirdly good listener for someone who can’t hear at all. According to local legend, anyway.

Sialuk mostly. I think the others have moved on. Keen at least. Bridget noted her granddaughter’s name, though she knew offhand that Moonspear was full of healers to help that goal. She’d always enjoyed teaching. If Seal wanted to learn and needed the opportunity, she’d absolutely help. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.

It wasn’t strange of Towhee to want the details. She’d have been curious too, and Bridget knew it was out of a genuine desire to help. It isn’t that I don’t want to talk about it. Just that it’s hard to describe. Or really even know, fully. She breathed out a sigh, then shook her head ruefully. Then again, maybe just trying would help. Not much else has.

Where did she even start? Before Brecheliant? Reyes? It was a convoluted history, but the easiest place was probably the most recent. Bronco died, recently. I wasn’t here, but a good friend of mine was his mate. There was a time, before that, when I hoped we might be… more than friends. And as much as I try to get past it, every time I see her, that just comes right back up. I don’t think it’s something she needs right now. Probably not something I need either.

She knew it was possibly hard to understand, but she half-hoped Towhee would have an opinion on it that helped her to decide if what she was doing was right. That was the curse of it. She could dole out advice left and right, but when it came to her own shit, she was as lost as ever.

Like I said - kind of a mess. She smiled, shrugging to break her own tension.

Bridget explained that she wasn’t reluctant to share. It seemed more like she didn’t know how to explain it, though when she said she would make the effort, Towhee tipped her muzzle encouragingly. She stayed silent, eyes lingering on the woman’s familiar face.

The first words out of her mouth hit Towhee like a slap. Bronco was dead too? She inhaled sharply, then reminded herself she was meant to be paying attention. Grappling with that blow made it more difficult, certainly, but Towhee read each and every word that fell from Bridget’s lips.

Whether it was her scattered thoughts or just the way her brain was wired, Towhee thought Bridget meant she’d wanted to be with Bronco. Even when she mentioned that seeing Bronco’s mate—Teya, Towhee remembered abruptly—made it harder, she still didn’t get what Bridget really meant. She didn’t even realize she wasn’t following until her last two sentences.

Wait, what? You—oh, Towhee realized even as her face scrunched. Slowly, seeking clarification, she said, You had… feelings… for Teya. And… Bronco’s dead…

She wanted to demand all the details. When had it happened? How had it happened? What would Fennec think? Oh, shitting fuck, what would Killdeer think? Did he even know about this yet? Towhee’s heart squeezed in dismay.

Ahhh, shit. Of course you would know him too. Sorry, I should’ve given the news a little… shit. Yeah. She winced apologetically. It hadn’t even occurred to her that Towhee used to live in the area and had ties to the families involved. She should have remembered that, but it was so easy to forget how connected those around you were when you constantly approached as a stranger.

It isn’t a secret to her, how I feel. I told her back when Reyes and her were having problems. But she chose Bronco, and they were so happy. I think she likes having a family, and that isn’t something I can give her. Obviously. She gave a slight joke, but it felt a little flat with the seriousness of this conversation.

So I’m sticking around. Just not too close. Retelling did help in a number of ways. Teya had already made her decision. She had chosen a life with Bronco, a family and a future, and if she wanted something different she knew how to ask for it. Bridget had made her intentions clear before. Unless things changed… there was nothing else she could do.

Towhee retrained her attention on Bridget’s issue, challenging as it was to listen to a tale of woman’s unrequited love for another while her heart reached out to her grandson. She took a breath and made an effort to properly concentrate and focus, even if some of this subject matter made her uncomfortable.

Maybe she just prefers the D, Towhee caught herself thinking, though she would never say something so crass out loud. Bridget’s lifestyle choices might not make sense to her, like so many others’ didn’t. But she was being vulnerable, showing trust, and the last thing on earth Towhee wanted to do was violate that.

Is she even, you know… Towhee tried, flicking a paw. In case that was still a bit of an insensitive thing to ask outright, she hoped to soften it by adding, Because if she isn’t, that just sounds super painful for you, that’s all. I’m sorry. That sounds like the pits, Bridget, and I may not actually know you that well but, well, I’m pretty sure you’re a catch.

Her cheeks went a little hot when she realized it might sound like she was coming onto her with those last few words. Towhee’s mouth opened as if she wanted to clarify that she patiently wasn’t into women, though she clapped it shut again.

At least she was tactful! Most wouldn’t ask it half as nice, and Bridget had heard that question often enough to not be offended. It cemented something she’d wondered - that Towhee didn’t have a lot of experience with her brand of relationship. She seemed to like it well enough before. Bridget replied, amused. But she could have a preference. It would make sense. Even the first time they’d turned to a more romantic direction, the strain had been there. She’d had men she was seeing too.

I’m the catch of a lifetime. I’m loyal, I’m smart, and this hasn’t even started to slow me down. She waggled the stump of her leg. But there’s shit I can’t do, and that shit seems important to a lot of wolves.

Her smile took on a playful glint. So don’t worry. Doesn’t matter how hot I find you, I can tell I’m not your type. It was a shame. But it was a minute disappointment that she was more than used to by now.

Okay, too much information, Towhee’s inner voice exclaimed, right before her brain started making some very interesting connections. Bridget had slept with Teya, who had slept with Reyes, who had slept with Towhee. Her insides squirmed a little, even before she also remembered that Teya had slept with Bronco, who had been her son-in-law… via Fennec…

Bridget’s declaration scattered her thoughts. Despite herself, Towhee smiled and nodded her agreement. And she laughed at the woman’s very vague innuendo. It was weird to think everything might’ve been different, if she’d only had a slightly different anatomy…

That made Towhee think of her own aberration in that department, a thought which coincided with Bridget’s frank statement. Now heat flushed all over her body as she shifted her weight. Her thoughts became uncomfortably jumbled. With an edge of hysteria to it, that inner voice wondered what Bridget would even think if she knew the truth about Towhee’s weird equipment.

Nobody’s my type, she said quickly, which was the honest truth. I’m done with romance and probably sex too, if I’m being totally candid. She paused, then Towhee couldn’t help herself. But, really? Hot? Don’t think I’ve ever gotten that one, even before I was a crusty old grandma.

While Towhee’s discomfort was adorable, Bridget wasn’t the sort to lean into it. She hadn’t thought it possible that she could make the older woman squirm. Any particular reason? Obviously, same applies. You can tell me to fuck off with the question and I won’t be bothered. It was a shame in her mind, to swear off something like that, but it could be that Towhee just didn’t enjoy it the same way.

Hot, absolutely. I thought as much the first time we met, but that isn’t exactly something that’s appropriate for a doctor to say to a patient. Ethics and professionalism and all that. It’s hard to really see someone in that way, anyway, when their life is in your hands. Maybe that’s why it’s so damn hard to find a date. Bridget huffed a small sigh, more amused by the thought than upset. She did take her job far more seriously than about anything else in her life.

Towhee didn’t mind the question, the subject of her love life less fraught than the rest of the conversation. She did suddenly glance off toward the mountain again, fearful that Seal might walk up on them in the middle of this entirely inappropriate conversation.

Facing Bridget again, she said, I tried marriage twice and both ended up in heartache. I just have zero interest in trying again. And save for that time of year, I’m not particularly interested in bumping uglies anyway. Even then, it’s really worn off over the years. The lust, I mean.

She didn’t know what to say when Bridget elaborated on her flattery. Towhee was flattered, though there was no chance of reciprocation. She wasn’t repulsed by Bridget, of course, but she also had no interest in touching another woman that way. She wondered if she should just say that, be crystal clear.

For the record, I’m straight. If there was ever going to be an exception, it would’ve been… Rue, she thought with a little twitch of her lips. Then Towhee laughed and shook her head. Nope, not even then, followed by an uneasy shrug and, Sorry.

No worries. I can appreciate a hot friend. Pretty sure, even if you weren’t, I’m down too bad for Teya to even be considering healthy options otherwise. I need to get my shit sorted out. She gave Towhee a reassuring touch on the shoulder, then paused, considering the first part of what she’d said.

That sucks, though. About the marriages. You don’t deserve it any more than Teya does, but seems like life doesn’t care about that when it decides to fuck a person over. The wearing off bit was natural, but the jaded nature of love was something worth regretting. She privately hoped Towhee found someone to spend the rest of her years with, though she knew the ones who fulfilled that might be the woman’s children and grandchildren. That couldn’t be the worst life to have either.

I’m glad you both have your kids. It takes a hell of a mom, to keep up with them the way you seem to.

Right, she was in love with Teya. Somehow, that made it even easier for Towhee to accept the compliment. It was like a friendly observation, nothing more.

I always heard that if you want to get over someone, you should get under someone else, but don’t ever take relationship advice from me, Towhee said dryly. It does suck, she went on to agree, but you know what? This is so sappy, I don’t think I’ve ever said it to anyone else and I might never repeat it out loud. Losing him sucked ass but I always knew it would happen. And none of that changes the fact that he was the one, Bridget. Maxim was the love of my life. And not everybody gets to have that, so…

She had leaned closer while imparting this secret. Now Towhee straightened up again, shaking out her white-dusted shoulders a bit. She could only nod in agreement with Bridget’s next statement. She couldn’t speak for Teya but being a mother and a grandmother was just as fulfilling, in a slightly different way, of course.

Watch me eat my words, come springtime, Towhee said, managing to grumble and smile at the same time. Because kids really do make your life better. Harder. But… better.

She hadn’t given much thought to her first season sans a mate. It was still a ways off, though it was inevitable that she considered it now. Towhee was pretty sure she was done. But Towhee also knew never to say “never” about any-goddamn-thing.

I assume… do you want kids? I mean, there are ways to have a family that don’t involve, uh, a man and a woman living happily ever after. I mean, you definitely have to do the do but then you can just yeet the man, speaking from experience.

Well, damn. That was a confession Bridget hadn’t been expecting. Your secret’s safe with me. Doctor patient privelidge. The last bit was a clear joke, but her expression was clearly grateful. She didn’t think Towhee realized how much it helped, knowing she had another friend out here to talk things through with openly. And she wasn’t sure how to put it into words without it feeling weirdly put-upon. Thanks wasn’t really necessary when the sharing was mutual.

She laughed outright, and louder, when Towhee talked about her having kids. Oh gods, no. Sorry. Imagine it! She couldn’t. I’m as gay as you are straight. I loved being an aunt to Teya’s, when I got the chance, but there’s no way I’ll end up with kids of my own. It just isn’t going to happen. Not biologically. And she didn’t think otherwise, either. The idea of sharing didn’t put her off as much as it had in the past, but to share with a mate, the father of their children… it felt too invasive. Too much like she would be the outsider in that situation, looking in at something she had no business being a part of.

I just need to find myself a bona-fide spinster. Until then, I’ll settle for having the job of my dreams, I guess. Life could be a hell of a lot worse, all things considered.

Towhee couldn’t hear tone, though it seemed like Bridget wasn’t too fussed about having kids, biological or otherwise. She supposed that was a blessing for her, all things considered, and tried not to feel shifty again when Bridget talked about finding a spinster.

There are plenty of ways to live a fulfilling life that don’t involve marriage, children and a white picket fence, Towhee concurred, but if it’s something you want, I do hope you find it.

Anyway, just because Towhee could totally be considered a spinster—and she didn’t mind that title at all—and she was more of a grandmother figure than a mother figure these days, this conversation really did make her think. No, she would not take a mate again, but what if she did what she’d done before messing around in romance? Supposing the plumbing still worked, she could have more kids…

This coming season will be my first as a single lady in a long time, she mused aloud, and I honestly kinda thought I was finished. But maybe I’m not. Back before I got hitched the first time, I totally slept my way around the wilds, getting knocked up and raising the kids with my brother’s help. I even bet he’d be down for a throwback, even if things work out with Heph…

Now she was just blathering. Towhee laughed, ducking her head, and suddenly realized they’d been standing here chatting for quite a while. She would be happy to continue the conversation for as long as Bridget liked, though she didn’t want either one of them to forget their original purposes for coming to Moonspear today.

You know, I’m pretty sure Sialuk plays for both teams and she has multiple partners. I don’t know how you feel about sharing, Towhee remarked with another laugh. If you wanna peel off and go find her, I was actually hoping to find Seal. Oh, and, uh, maybe let Sialuk know there's apparently a maniac on the loose. Some Moonboys are out there hunting him down but I want y’all to stay safe.

The title of “spinster” applying to Towhee hadn’t even crossed Bridget’s mind, and still didn’t as she considered it. The thought of growing old alone didn’t necessarily bother Bridget, but the thought of her job being her only guiding light in life did. She loved helping people, but it was so easy to lose yourself in the work if you forgot the reason you did it.

She wanted a family someday. She didn’t think that meant kids, and didn’t know what it looked like outside of that, but she knew it was something worth trying for. Maybe someday she would find it.

I don’t know how I feel about sharing, to be completely honest. But maybe a fling isn’t the worst idea. So long as I’m honest about it. She didn’t know if she actually would go for that, or if she was flattering herself to think Sialuk would be interested. But it was a thought nonetheless. I’ll let her know you want to talk to her about that if I do find her. And I’ll keep an eye out for Seal, if I end up here. I enjoyed the little bit of teaching I got to do, back a while ago. It was nice catching up Towhee. Thanks, seriously.

She didn’t extend the goodbye much beyond an affectionate wave of her tail before she set off in the direction of where she might be more likely to get a response. She’d try again a little later, hopefully when the pack was less busy and more free to attend to social calls. The pause would give her time to sort out what she actually wanted from the visit as well.

It really was, she could only agree, hesitating for a few seconds before joshing, Keep in mind that you’ll probably see plenty of my hot self if you end up living here, and even having the balls to include a little wink.

After a few parting words and gestures, they went their separate ways. Towhee walked the other direction along the borderline, approaching the stretch near the healing ulaq. There, she would call for her granddaughter.

Thank you for the fantastic thread!