Northstar Vale Afterglow

mwhahahahaha

 
The grey female was relentless; pacing the deep and dark woods during the day, even during the night, was a natural occurrence lately. After the arrival of a lion amongst the spires, her usual cruises outside the vale were less frequent; she felt trapped inside a mountain cage with no escape. In the meantime, while she had to stay inside, she took it as an opportunity to find more about it.
 
Her emotional situation wasn't good either; since the intimate moment they shared, Agana had not seen Kukutux once. Was she too busy to see her? Did she feel sorry for that moment? The moon started to rise as the sun hovered ever closer to the horizon when she reached the clearing of their den. Memories of the kiss replayed in her mind as she stepped closer to the den. It wasn’t big, but it was good enough for them.
 
Agana did not step in the clearing since the incident; maybe it was fear that kept her away, fear of the truth. She stood alone at the entrance of the den, staring at bushes she emerged from, at the paw prints she left behind. Her mind was a frantic blur, focused far away from here, while her nerves consume her. Agana took a deep sigh, and waited for the arrival of the duck, @Kukutux.

:o!

kukutux had already been wife, already known a man, already been prepared for what was to come. her body, then, had only to sharpen in the very last way of her sex, and the budding restlessness had quickly turned to discomfort.

it was the eve to mark a year since the death of her family, and she had been out gathering the gifts for the spirit world.

grief and trepidation swirled chaotically within kukutux; several times she dropped the skin she had been using, and more than once he girl had been forced to retrieve the little things from the snow. 

half-frozen, wanting nothing more than to eat a bit of dried meat and curl into her sleeping place, the duck halted abruptly to see wayward agana returned.

she dropped her eyes; she dragged her skin to the threshold and stood staring down at their paws, and the ground beneath, before slowly, silently lifting jadestone eyes to the tumultuous sheen of agana's own.

The bushes slowly parted to reveal the reason she came back; all the thoughts and feelings she wanted to share with her vanished. Oh, but how beautiful her pale fur shone under the moonlight! Was she a moonstone from the quarry, or was she a true living being in front of her? Golden gaze lingered on her as the duck entered the clearing with the skin she carries around.
 
Agana did not move an inch when Kukutux approached her. Her small, frail body carried not only the skin, but some other objects she was unaware of. Did she think of redecorating? Golden gaze glanced at her, but did not dare to speak. When she lifted her jadestone gaze to face her, she remained, once again, speechless.
 
She couldn’t speak; words stung her neck to fly out, but she did not dare open her jaws. Of course, she did not think this out too well; now she is here, and what will she say to her?  After all the duck was the one that leaned onto her, but was it wrong that she accepted it? Maybe she shouldn’t have, maybe it was wrong. Golden gaze could no longer keep up to hers, so she glanced down, ashamed.

they said nothing to one another; gold capitulated first, and in it kukutux felt she had her answer.

heart ached as she stepped past agana into the den, leaving the pelt at the door. she busied herself preparing a meal for both of them from their meager stores.

tears threatened to sting her eyes, but the duck willed them back through fierce will and brought agana the leg of a pheasant that still sparkled with ice crystals.

"i go out into the mountains to pray tomorrow," kukutux murmured, head bowed over her own meal. she was desperate for anything to fill the silence between them, even the emptiness of words that she could just as well leave unsaid. agana would not mind that she meant to leave again; had not the mink avoided her this long?

The sound of her voice was music to her ears. How ashamed she was for not making the first step; she stood there, and did nothing but consume the air, like a coward she was. She wanted to scream and shout, and scream, and shout, from the bottom of her lungs, but all she made out was another icy breath, that made her look as a cloud-breathing dragon.
 
The duck left into the den and bought her some food, which she immediately began chewing on. Covered in ice crystals, it did not make her job any easier, so she raised her head and decided to let it for a while. Golden gaze turned to the duck; but she did not like to refer her as ‘a duck’; she was a rare pearl from the seas, a precious moonstone that shone brighter than the moon herself.
 
“May I…” she began, almost a whisper, “join you?” Agana was not aware of her customs, or the way they prayed, but would do anything to spend more time with her. But praying was not the reason she came here; and to prove to herself she was not a coward, she leaned a little onto her direction, golden faze focused on her jadestone eyes.
 
“This is not why I came here,” she spoke, heavily breathing, heart racing like the rapids of the Gorge she saved her from not long ago, but her lips pursed before she could say anything else. She stood, waiting for her to speak as she glanced to the meal she bought to her.

she swallowed, coughed a bit in surprise as agana asked after coming with her. kukutux had meant to be alone, to mourn her dead in solitude for a day of fasting and silence.

she was not certain how she might convey this to her companion, but was summarily distracted by the intensity of the sungilded gaze that sought her own.

the duck could not find proper words; her eyes drew away, then climbed back to those of her denmate. something unspoken hovering between them, something she had begun to kill, to puncture with bone knives, to deflate.

she needed a husband, one as gentle and traditional as the seal-killer had been. then perhaps these feelings might subside; with children to suckle and a man to please, kukutux, surely, could be content with her purpose.

she bit her lip.

"why have you come?" she must know, she must, she must.

apologies for messy and late response !
warning: prepear to have your heart broken.

No answer to her question; Agana knew very well it was an absolute no, but it was worth a try. And she knew, no matter how right it felt, how lovely her touch was, she needed to let go and accept the fact it was wrong. The grey female turned away in shame, as she could no longer see the duck with the same eyes anymore.
 
She could not help but think about the precious moment they shared; and she remembered how the duck immediately left her, maybe to gather things for her prayers. Agana remained alone and silent, eyeing her as she padded away, a blank expression on her face; she did not cry at the time, but would experience several sleepless nights in which she would wonder what went wrong.
 
Malena said, she did, oh she did; she said it was wrong, that it should remain forgotten that moment; and Agana did not listen. Her mind drifted away to the day they met, when the duck fell into the rapids and how she came to the rescue. They have been companions ever since, they have even been denning together, something entirely new to her.
 
Jade and golden gaze met, the grey female shifting her weight nervously at the thought of her precious, soft lips on her. Agana shook her head, and parted her lips to speak. “To tell you I do not wish to ruin our companionship because of one foolish gesture.” It broke her harder to hear those words out loud. She wanted to cry, scream and shout; instead, she remained silent and composed, golden gaze never leaving her companion.

;;;;

foolish; it reverberated wildly inside the duck's psyche before clattering to a halt upon her heart.

agana's admission clutched kukutux with pain; she swallowed, knowing now that if the gilded one spoke the inner words of her heart, surely it was wrong. surely it must be.

lips trembled; the girl steadied herself and nodded. "i would not want to lose your friendship." saltwater rose behind her eyes, threatening to drown the last ember of affection, but she busied herself with the food once more.

the memory of their kiss clung with limpet strength to the walls of her mind. no matter what agana had said, no matter that this would be the end of the formless thing that had occurred, the sense of purity remained.

a single tear stained her muzzle: she frowned and blinked it away, turning back to agana with a gentler expression. "it is good to have you back."

heart reeled in agony.

last from me! <3

Her own words tore her apart; her heart wanted to scream her feelings out, but she knew the duck would never accept them, would never feel the same even the slightest. And she will not be heartbroken, never again. She swallowed in empty as the duck gave her answer.
 
Friendship; there would never be more than that, that’s all she will get. Friendship; how much she wanted to take her in her arms and hug her and tell her there will never be again just friendship between them! How much she adored to feel her lips, her touch, her everything!
 
“Yes, it’s good to be back.” It is, yes it is, but not how she wants to be. Maybe this is for the best; maybe it just wasn’t meant to happen. They were coming from different cultures, and maybe the others wouldn’t accept it as well. The breeding season was approaching, and perhaps she desired to become a mother this season; no matter. The duck would make a good mother; unlike herself.
 
Agana took the leg in her jaws and moved to a side of the clearing, turned away from the pearl that shone bright under the moon. And for the first time in months, she allowed drops to fall on her meal while she ate quietly and alone, and prayed the other wouldn’t notice.

nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

from beneath lowered lashes that gathered their own tears like dew, kukutux turned to the place opposite agana and attempted to finish her meal. the flesh turned to ash within her mouth; her appetite died, and carefully she put away the remains. there was no need to be wasteful, even in her grief.

she could not help the last mournful look that crossed featherwhite features as her mintglow eyes traveled to agana for a long and haunting moment. nothing could be done. nothing would be done.

it is for the best, whispered the inner spirit from kukutux' breast. it is not our way.

slowly, wearily, the duck climbed onto the fur-covered sleeping platform and curled herself tightly upon it, enough so that her pelt would not touch agana's own when,

if,

the other woman at last came to bed.

and there, silently, kukutux let the stream of hot tears burn away her last iota of faith in the belief that she and the mink might have become something more than what they had always known.