Ouroboros Spine Anaana

@Kukutux

Not much unlike other youth her age Kau's journey had taken her away from home to grow more, learn new and find herself. Being of pragmatic sort - she would not put the purpose of her leaving Moonglow and staying with the Walrus hunters for almost a year in such terms. But the feeling was the same. She had left as a child and as she surveyed the familiar surroundings and smells of her birthplace now, they did not seem quite right. More likely the place had not changed, but she had.

Kausiut had grown from an ugly puppy into an unattractive young woman. Her face was asymmetrical and a perpetual frown seemed more natural to the features than a genuine smile. The girl was still very lean, though it was less visible under the unkempt winter-pelt, stained with dirt and dried up blood from hunts and meals. It was clear that she was not in a habit of grooming herself beyond the bare minimum and most likely her looks did not bother her. While one of her forepaws was still less functional than the rest of the three, her gait had improved and she moved with such an ease one would not expect from her.

Of many places she could have gone, the path had led her back here. For the time being at least.

She raised her head and called for her mom.

!!!

her daughter! kausiut!

kukutux rose sharply. the foxfur fell from her shoulders. she ran at once to the borders, fleet as a hind, and greeted the girl there.

not girl so much, but woman. she wore a sour face and dirtied fur, but kukutux looked beyond all this to the love of mother for daughter. "hello, sweet-snow," she said in their words. "did you like your time with the walrus people?"

she was almost breathless with joy. a daughter, returned to the others. now she had only sialuk for which to wait.

Mom did not make Kausiut wait. She came almost immediately. She had not changed. The same looks, smell and affection. The girl made a half-voluntary step forward to let her tip of the muzzle briefly touch Kukutux's and that was the extent of physical contact she was willing and comfortable to take. It was not rejection, nor that she was indifferent to the person before her. Simply this was the way she was and as an adult entitled to set her boundaries.

Asked about walrus people a shadow of pain changed that sour expression of hers: "Murre gone." This was the extent of what she was going to say about it. Death of a person she had formed a connection with was an entirely new way of someone exiting her life. She still had hard time understanding, how one's body could still be there, while the life - not at all.

she was happy and thankful for kausiut's kiss.

but her smile faded into sadness to hear of murre. she did not know how to take it any other way. "she was a friend to you, kau. we will honor her here."

softly she gestured to her daughter. "come to me. let me give you meat and fat. rest a while." 

she did not yet ask if kausiut meant to stay. "your father will be glad to see your face. and your sister also."

Honor her? Would that bring Murre back somehow? Kausiut did not believe this, but she had learned that sometimes adults tended to say things for the sake of saying them. Without an intention to actually doing them or them being entirely useless to begin with. She did not need to say this aloud, her skepticism about Kukutux's suggestion reflected in her expression.

"Alright," she accepted the invitation and moved to follow her mother back to the village. When she had come here, she had not made any plans for the future. Moonglow could be as good as a place as any other. "Anyone gone?" she asked, referring both to those, who had died or left in her absence.

"keyni went away, with lótë and makan. they meant to make a new village in a place of trees close to our village. lótë had a son with the name of fjall. but they have all gone now."

"inutsuk, husband of shikoba, went away twice. and then the son of their hearth, mojag, also went away. inutsuk took a journey and brought him back to this village. now they both live again in moonglow."

"there are new ones here, kau. our kinsman, kigipigak, and his issumatar wife, sakhmet, made natigvik on a river far from here. they asked us to come for fall-hunting. and when it was time to go, they said that they would come with us."

kukutux settled herself at the ulaq. true to her word, she drew a good strip of deer underbelly out from a cache and gave it to kausiut.

Names of people Kausiut did not remember well. Plenty of them. Kukutux spoke long and in detail, her daughter pretended to listen and was content not to participate in the conversation more than absolutely necessary. She did keep an ear out to names of immediate family. Those, to whom she had formed some sort of attachment.

Namely... "Sialuk?" her older sister, who had played with bones just the same way Kau had played with objects. "Samani?" her littermate, who... she was important, but Kau did not remember, what good she had actually done. While waiting for her mom to go on about the two, she picked the offered piece of meat, settled down and began to eat.

"sialuk has been gone some time. she follows a vision from the mountain that was once moonspear."

kukutux was pleased that kausiut ate what she had given.

"and your sister samani, she is soon to be married to firsthunter, who has the name of rodyn." such things did not seem to ever have interested kau, and so she had not offered. but all the same she wondered what her returned girl would think of her sister's path.

Sialuk following a vision. Kau paused, looked up from her meal and scrutinized Kukutux's face for a moment. There had been a time, when she had seen things too, but this had been rather unpleasant and had served no purpose. Worse even - she had not been able to explain, what had been going on and therefore receive any moral support from those around her. Here - several months later - she still was not elaborate with words herself, but she understood almost everything. Had her older sister been here now, Kau may have even sparked up a conversation with her.

Samani on the other hand followed the path of the village wolves. Not particularly exciting, but then Kausiut had never expected much from her prettier sister. She was everything that Kau was not, adhering to normalcy included.

"Voice - silent," she told Kukutux. "Quu's head - quiet." She referred to the rambling presence of someone in her mind. Whether anyone had been aware of it, she did not know. It just seemed like thing to add to the conversation. It was, what you did, right?

moonwoman nodded. "how long?"

her eyes were soft.

"did you speak with the walrus shaman?" it was to these strong women that her daughter had been sent, to live without men's expectations or even those of her mother.

they had great and secret rites.

she waited for kausiut to speak.

"Shaman. Quiet," Quu replied, meaning that the woman had silenced the voice inside the girl's head. It was a good thing that she could not add - at her request. A connection with the spirit world is good to those, who can express, what they see and feel. For Kausiut, who had hardly any chance to funnel that wealth of images and sounds away, it had been a curse.

"Voice," she told next, beckoning to the sky above. "Words," she pointed to herself. Shaman had made a deal - Quu's voices for words. The very day, when her mind had become clear and quiet, she had begun to master speech.

kukutux became slowly aware of a trade.

she was reminded suddenly of grey brother. how the duck hoped that the bloodstained anguish of his spirit had lifted! that he had gone to sedna after her vigil!

she must go to that place again.

but she had sent callyope in her stead.

"this is a good thing. but you know the tongue of both worlds. can you bring the voice back?" and now her tone was one of interest; she sat forward to hear.

Kausiut frowned and she drew her ears back, when Kukutux wanted to know, if there was a way to bring back the voices. It had been a burden to her, but it seemed as if mom was totally oblivious to this. Why was it so important, when all that mattered was her own well-being? If she felt good without the buzz inside her head, it was offensive to ask really.

Again she was in no way capable to convey her feelings in so many words as to make Kukutux understand, therefore in whim of a moment she repeated something that shaman had told her. "Crawler," she pointed to herself again. "Fly. Not," then something very unsual happened. Having probably told the first joke in her entire life, she grinned.

Those, who are meant to crawl, do not fly.

moonwoman felt that she had offended her daughter.

perhaps her curiosity was not seemly. perhaps her eagerness had made her impolite.

thus when kausiut explained, kukutux nodded with a flash of her teeth for the humour that her young one had provided for them. "crawler."

her face cleared and she glanced ahead. "i think your sister callyope means to walk that way. i will tell her, it is good to have thoughts that are quiet."

Kukutux picked up the mood change in the conversation and moved on to something else. Had she attempted to tell Quu that she was not a crawler, that she could be anything she wanted, even fly, if that was in the cards, it would have pushed her away. She did not need encouragement. While ignorant to many obvious things in life, Kausiut was not blind to her own disability. Becoming anything like Samani or even her own mother was out of the question - attempting so would push her on a path of misery, self-loathing and jealousy.

"Sister?" she asked, tilting her head to the side, not recognizing the name of Callyope.

"callyope, stratos, and ariadne are your sisters and brother from this year," kukutux said softly.

"stratos has gone away for a time to be a hunter. ariadne stays close to home. and callyope has become wild in the mountains and the forests."

There were three of them. She did not catch all the names - it was hard for her to remember them, if there was no face to aligned to it. But, what made her curious, was that other thing - where had Kukutux got them? The "physics" of conception and birth were obscure to her - at the time, when she could have learned about this, she had had no interest. And by the time she had reached the Walrus hunters that year's litter had already been born. The puppies had looked like miniature versions of walrus babies, so she had figured that probably the lead hunter and the shaman had picked up those babies and raised them to be wolves. Where males came in question - again was not clear, but life was already full of odd rituals. It might have been one of them.


Long story short, what occupied Quu's mind was, where had Kukutux picked up her walrus babies, if the sea was so far away and those rascals were damn heavy to be carried too far. "Find?" she tried to form the inquiry in order to get the answer she was looking for, but it was already here - it was not going to be easy. "Where. Sisters.

find?

but she had said where the daughters might be.

kukutux sat with these words for a moment. "i did not find them, kau," she said softly. "they grew inside me, as you and samani did."

silently the duck touched her own belly with a paw.

Kausiut pondered on these news for a bit, then shook her head lightly and shrugged. Apparently babies came in one's life in different ways. Some you grew yourself, others you picked like mushrooms.

In the meanwhile she had finished eating and yawned. The long journey and all the talking had made her tired. She got to her feet, stretched and shook her coat. "Rest," she told her mother, preparing to find a place to spend the night, once allowed to leave. Few would be granted this level of respect - had Kukutux not been her mother and a leader and a provider - Quu would have simply left.

<3

kausiut had no more to say and took her leave. kukutux dipped her head and watched the girl depart.

the smile kept to her face.

it was good to have her family together. she sent a prayer for sialuk's spirit before she turned back to her leatherwork.