Neverwinter Forest Bullet train to Iowa.

Towhee continued debating the merits of wintering in a particular village. How could she possibly choose one, though? The copse was probably the obvious answer—she knew they could really use her support—but she hesitated to put herself in a position where she might feel obligated to stay.

Next, she considered Moonspear, though @Seal was about to come of age, which evidently included an ambassadorial trip of some sort. Towhee could always go with her, though if she was trying to establish herself as an independent young woman, Seal surely wouldn’t want her grandmother tagging along.

She lurked in The Heartwood while she deliberated, though her restlessness pushed her northward. What about Moonglow? Towhee gnawed at her lip. She had bailed on @Kukutux once before and she wasn’t keen to repeat it, even though she knew the “moon woman” would likely understand the pro tempore nature of her stay.

She strode past the spine and approached the evergreen forest beyond. Towhee slowed as she traipsed through the familiar woods. As she neared its far side, she could’ve sworn she smelled @Towhee Jr but when she tried to pinpoint the scent, it eluded her.

Towhee’s tail switched as she hung a right, considering a visit to the neighboring hot springs.

I could not resist! :D

The first snowfall of the year had come as a welcome surprise. Dwin had endured the dark weeks of November, hardly ever seeing the sun peek through the thick, grey blanket of clouds and hating, how very early it got dark. Now with the ground covered in soft, white and cold stuff, the lack of sunlight was no longer that depressing. When no one had been looking she had even allowed herself to zoom around the Brecheliant, some rather unceremonious slips, trips and tumbles and indulging in rolling in the snow, making the wolf-equivalent of a snow angel (a who is to say that angels are only the ones with golden hair, dressed in white night-gowns, having white wings and holding a harpsichord - no - wait, a harp in their hands). 

After instructing the kids to eat a lot of snow and draw a very thick, smelly line of yellow around the borders, she took off, before any of them began to ask uncomfortable questions about the point of this and thus question her authority. It was absolutely amazing to leave home about and have all the freedom in the world. She almost felt that previously dimmed light inside her burn brighter and stronger, the bigger the distance grew between her and Brecheliant. How long had it been since her last solo journey? Few weeks? And now she was onto it again. She loved to run full speed, but the snow was good at keeping the scents alive, therefore she stopped frequently to make a u-turn and inspect some particularly interesting smell specimens. 

Then she was off again without any set plan in mind, just happy to exist in this moment and eager to keep the joy of adventure alive for longer. It was near a forest that she first caught a familiar and fresh scent trail, which set her in a tracking mode. Mrs T had been a very good conversation partner - her wit, sharp mind and occasional honest bluntness matching that of Dwin's. So - if the old lady was still kicking, it was worth seeking her out and having a talk. Because - as mom used to say (and that is a generic term for every piece of knowledge that Dwin had acquired, but had no idea of the source) - old people weren't immortal. 

"Hey!" she called out to the she-wolf, when she finally spotted her. It took her a moment to realize that she had not heard her (and I am not sure, she knew or remembered of Towhee's impairment) and then she simply kicked her heels in the snow and made a mad dash to catch up with her. "Miss TEE!" she hollered, going past her, then making a loop and stopping right in front of her. "It's good to see you - you old Hag!" she told her with a good-natured smile. Not as an insult, rather a friendly greeting that one hag would give to the other. "This them here Green Hag is glad to see you still alive!"

Before she made it to the eastern edge of the pines, someone jumped out in front of her so suddenly that Towhee leaped backward, every single blade of fur on her body standing on end as a sharp snarl escaped her. When she recognized the young girl before her, she didn’t immediately relax. Instead, she clutched at her chest and stared at Dwin for a bit, before letting out a whoosh of air.

Don’t fucking do that, she scolded, then grumbled, I’m too old for that shit. I won’t be alive much longer if you give me a heart attack, Princess Twinkletits.

The nickname and the accompanying glimmer in her eye said everything: she wasn’t truly upset, just caught off guard. The tension soon ebbed from her body and she registered the excited look on the purported princess’s face. She was clearly quite happy to see Towhee, which warmed the Redhawk’s thumping heart.

Did you just call me a hag? Did you just call yourself a hag? I mean, you’re not wrong about me. But you’re more like a… Towhee flapped a paw. Teenybopper.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me that a tough hag like you will be taken down by the good ol' heart attack," Dwin stuck her tongue out at Towhee playfully, amused by her grumpiness and the fact that she had earned two unusual and nonsensical nicknames. "No, no, no... I think that, when the DEATH finally comes for you, you will challenge him for a wrestling match, bore him to death with long stories of your life and lists of all the things you want to complain about - naughty children and thankless grandchildren included - and then - maybe - the man of the hour will take your. Or will decide that Paradise is too good for you," she let the whimsical story flow. "Because you know, how the saying goes? The good girls go to Paradise, the bad ones - wherever they want," she smiled smugly at her own cheekiness.

"Well, the hag is an inherited title. My great-grandma March Owl was one, my grandma Osprey was one. My aunt Wraen was one. And someone had to pick up the title in this generation of kids. You have to have one in the line, you know," she told her. "And with a lot of brothers - they cannot be hags - and with sisters that want to be princesses, I had no choice but to take the honours," she finished. "But - of course - you are right that there is a difference between us. I am a teenybopper hag and you are the old, cranky and cantanekerous one!"

Dwin refuted her, then went off on a tangent. Towhee tried to keep up at first, though it made her eyeballs ache. That always made her think of Wraen, the thought now reminding her of her dream some weeks back. She tried to recapture the feeling of it, wrap herself in that sense of comforting nostalgia, right when Ceridwen actually said the woman’s name out loud. It was somehow jarring.

But it did confirm some long-held suspicions, though Towhee hadn’t realized they shared an ancestor. Or maybe she had known that but had forgotten over time. It kind of seemed like the thing an old, cantankerous hag might do.

Say less, Towhee replied. What have you been doing with all that youthful energy lately, junior hag? Been on any particularly epic adventures?

But before Ceridwen could answer her, Towhee made the universal sign for, “Time out!” She pointed east, wondering if Ceridwen had visited the hot springs before.

I’d like to soak my old bones while you regale me with your tall tales, she explained, resuming her walk in that direction. If you and I sit in the springs together, does that make it witches’ brew?

Since no one in Dwin's immediate family was not affected by deafness, she had no idea, what ptero was or meant, therefore Towhee's attempt to make a point with a sign was met with... deaf ignorant eyes. She did, however, pick up the universal expression of a person, who was few steps from drowning in Dwin-(tsu)-nami of words. In order to give the old hag time to climb up on the floating door and get ahold her bearings, she fell silent. It was a pity that the old lass had not been able to catch up with all the amazing things she had just said, but then - she could not blame her either, because she could not remember all of it. 

"You tell me," Dwin offered generously and let the older wolf lead the way. Having been to the hot springs once before she looked forward to the warm and humid air, but did not think that getting one's fur soaked wet in these temperatures was wise. "What have you been up to? Where have you landed?" she asked.

Dwin raised no complaints about their destination, so Towhee assumed a slightly brisker pace. Long before they arrived poolside, she could smell the telltale sulfur. The ground grew ever mistier as clouds of steam swirled around their heels. The humidity and temperature rose significantly.

She found a bath which appealed to her particularly and stopped beside it, dipping a paw into the bubbling water. It was quite hot, so they’d probably want to ease into it, lest they scald themselves. Towhee glanced at her younger companion, cautioning her with a look.

I asked you first, she belatedly teased, orange eyes dropping to the water. I haven’t landed anywhere in particular. I’m still making the rounds, though I’m considering parking somewhere for the winter. I haven’t decided where yet.

Now she looked up at Dwin again, eyes sparkling as she demanded, Now you. What have you been up to? even as she began easing her forelegs into the steaming spring.

Dwin let that remark fly past her ears, having decided that in the presence of this lady she could be her cheeky self and cross such boundaries that she would not allow herself with other older people. After all, if your first impression of a person is tightly knit together with the image of being puked at then... well, you do not take them too seriously after that ever again. 

"Well, I am happy to inform that my annoying younger siblings have learned to walk and talk and have a secret, private life of their own with the added benefit of, whoever attempts to gobble them down, would have to struggle for that meal a lot," she explained. Lately the same kids, who had frustrated her to no end during the summer, had become more intelligent and actually interesting to talk to. She almost considered them as equals, until the next reckless or silly thing they came up with.

"I am almost free to go and do, whatever I want, except it is winter and very soon I will be snowed in calder and won't be able to go anywhere," she finished. Maybe next spring she would set out on a new adventure. That no longer seemed impossible.

So the gremlins have grown on you, Towhee read between the lines, snorting in good-natured amusement. They do have have a way of becoming a lot more palatable once they turn into, like, real people and not just bumbling, idiotic potatoes, right?

Towhee was now in up to her shoulders. Steam filled her lungs as she drew in a big breath and took the plunge. She tried not to splash—she didn’t want to burn Dwin—as she eased the rest of her body into the spring. Her skin tingled unpleasantly at the stinging heat, particularly where she wore scars, though soon enough she began to adjust.

Snowed in? she echoed, frowning thoughtfully as she bobbed in the pool, facing the gray she-wolf. I lived there for ages and never once had that issue. Do you sink? I thought only the innocent sank. You’re a witch, you’re supposed to float, like me! Get in here so we can find out for sure.

"Nah... I would not say that," Dwin objected and shook her head, even though Towhee had spoken the truth. Simply the nearly-grown-up kids had not done enough useful and good things to balance out all the grudge she held against them for being so frustrating and annoying during spring and summer. "You do not mince words, I see - is that, how you greet and speak to your beloved offpsring as well?" she teased her back with a good-natured grin.

"Well, I hate to point that out to you, but you are a ve-e-e-e-ry old lady," Dwin said in a tone that suggested that Towhee had been alive during the era of dinosaurs and had been there to shake paws with velociraptors in person. "And climate change is a real thing, you know. There was so much snow last year that unless you dug a tunnel, there was no way to reach particular areas of the territory," she was exaggerating a bit, but then she had experienced her first snow-fall, while being still quite young. And things tend to look a lot bigger, when you are small yourself.

"Well, we may be made of the same material, but I am a witch that still has things to do in life. I have no desire to freeze to death, until I get home," she pointed out. "And judging by ther fact that your head is the only body part that floats there, I have a feeling that there are a lot of sins weighing you down," she said. "I've heard that a heartfelt confession to a holy man might help to ease the burden," she said. 

Ceridwen’s description of last year’s outrageous snowfalls triggered a memory. It was as vague as they came, something about a cave, a snowstorm and a certain former mate of hers. She snorted in the present, easing further downward in the water so it lapped at her neck, then the fringes lining her cheeks, as her eyes stayed fixed on her young companion.

“I have a feeling that there are a lot of sins weighing you down…”

Towhee snorted again, right before she disappeared from view entirely. The hot water stung her face, particularly the delicate skin of her eyelids, and she felt a subtle popping sensation as it rushed into her deadened ear canals. She held her breath, naturally, and kept her eyes squeezed shut as she bobbed just under the surface for about thirty seconds.

Reemerging, she picked up the conversation without missing a beat, saying, Or I could just baptize myself, wash away all my sins, and spitting some water that had found its way into her mouth, flavoring it like… well, an old fart. She spat again. You’re really not coming in? The trick is to dry off thoroughly as soon as you get out, before you head back into the proper cold. I solemnly swear I won’t let you become a Popsicle…

"I do not think it works like that. The process of getting rid of sins involves another person, who forgives them to you. There was this indul... indul..." Dwin furrowed her brow trying to remember the name of "indulgence". "Indulgenie or something like that. So - this means that first you need to find that particular genie, release it from its bottle and then ask for forgiveness. Kind of cool, huh? And if you are good enough, you get two wishes extra!" now she knew she was telling Towhee absolute nonesense, but the whole outset of their conversation had been based on imaginary things. 

"Well - physics may not apply to old hags like you, the young ones have yet to see, how anyone had become dry in the mist - does not matter, if it is cold or hot," she declined the offer once again. "I never properly asked you - or rather were inclined to listen - how are you related to my folk?" she asked, lying down so that the tips of her forepaws were touching the surface of the hot water lightly. "I know that the Blackthorn family tree is the most convoluted of them all and it is not possible to remember every one of them. But - you - I think - I would like to keep," she told.

Theology doesn’t apply to me either, Towhee agreed playfully. I’m older than the old gods. I make the rules. I don’t need genies to wish or wash away my sins, any more than I need to fear hypothermia.

And then the conversation moved down to earth again, which Towhee certainly didn’t mind. She grinned a little when Ceridwen rested with her toes in the water. That should warm her up a little, just like the youngster’s words did to Towhee’s insides.

Elwood and Finley were my godparents. And since my dad died before I was born and my mom during, well, they raised me. They were, in every way that really counts, my parents.

"Are you older than Death itself?" Dwin asked, tilting her head to the side. Some may argue that Death or Life were not gods in a common sense. They were entities above everything, a process that happened to everything. "Well, you may not fear hypothermia, because you have lived for a very long time. You've probably seen a lot already..." and there were very little to lose, if you die - she left this unsaid. "I have to be more careful," she finished. "I can't afford to play with death, because I have aging parents to take care of."

"Oooh, they were my dad's parents too," she added. "Heard some stories about them and they seem like just the kind of people I would have liked to meet. Given the chance," she told. "Do you know, who your real parents were? Names, families?" she asked.

Towhee was about to make some crude joke about being death’s mother or some such, though Ceridwin’s mention of aging parents gave her pause. She supposed if she was getting old, then so was Eljay, though Towhee still thought of him as the tenderhearted boy from her own youth. She let slip a little sigh.

Yeah, my dad was Peregrine and my mom was Fox. Both Redhawks in name. They were the original founders of Redhawk Caldera, like they literally found and named the place after themselves. The Blackthorns were always a key part of the family too, though. My parents and your grandparents were the Alphas and Betas, respectively, for quite a while. According to the lore.

Towhee sat up a little to adjust her position in the pool. The air felt very cool on her shoulders, prompting a shiver as she hastily dunked herself again. Maybe she would never get out of here, after all. Or maybe she’d at least stay here until summertime.

Aside from getting geriatric, how are your parents doing these days? she found herself wondering.

There was a Peregrine in Dwin's own family tree, but she knew that great-uncle by different family name. Since she had recently met another fellow, who sported the same name, she simply assumed that this had been a popular name for kids and therefore did not press Towhee for more details. It was also higly unlikely that she would have been able to give any - both parents had perished, before being able to pass on the whole family lore. 

"Uh... well, mom's not that old. She stepped up as a leader after our previous one died. And Eljay - well - he is no longer able to run after kids as he used to in is youth," she referred to his trades as a medic, caregiver and babysitter. He was very good with children of all ages. While this did not deter them from pranking him occasionally, no one would ever dare to do anything hurtful to the aging patriarch. He had achieved great things in his long life, therefore making fun of him no longer felt cool. 

"And if it was up to him, he would keep all his birds in the nest forever, but we have a tendency to fly off. It does not make him very happy, but he accepts it," she explained. "Were you friends with my dad? I don't remember him mentioning you or any other family members to me. But then it can also be that, when he did, I did not pay proper attention." 

Wraen, Towhee murmured when Ceridwen briefly mentioned the former leader.

She didn’t interrupt otherwise, saying only when Dwin finished, I feel like most parents are like that. They want their kids to stay with them. But they’re sort of designed to grow up and do their own thing. I mean, that’s the ultimate sign of success as a parent. But try not to fault him for it, ‘cause it’s a lot easier said than done.

Towhee paused, taking a solid moment or two to consider the second question.

No, we weren’t friends. He was my older brother, for all intents and purposes, but we were never close. I looked down on him for a long time, ‘cause I used to think I was some boss ass bitch. By the time I came around to realizing how much of an asset your dad was, he ‘Bye, Felicia!’ed me.

She shrugged under the water, making no mention of Eljay specifically abandoning her during a miscarriage. They’d seen one another since then and there hadn’t been any particular animosity. There was none on her end, anyhow. Time had a way of wearing down rough edges that way.

"No. Bronco," Dwin corrected Towhee, though maybe she was not entirely wrong. Her aunt had been dead for a long while before she had been born and therefore past pack hierarchies no longer mattered. "He saved two kids from a striped hellcat that had decided to have them for lunch. Got a good beating and never properly recovered. Died like a..." hero? No. Dwin hated this. "A person, who had got badly injured. Beyond repair. Mom told that his father - Colt - had also passed away after a fight. Makes you wonder, whether the family has a tendency for self-fulfilling prophecies..." She mused and hoped sincerely that this would not be the case. 

"Bye-Felicia-ed? Dwin was unfamiliar with the term, but guessed accurately that this had something to do with moving on. "I think that this happens to people. I mean, I was pretty close with my siblings growing up. Best friends forever and stuff. And it looks like that forever lasted until they decided to do something different with their lives and leave home," she shared her experience with a hint of longing in her voice. At nearly two years of age, when she was legally and physically adult she still missed the simple joys and happy times during her childhood. 

"You said last time - or I assume you said it - that you have a lot of kids. What are they doing now?" she asked. 

Why was it somehow unsurprising to find out Bronco was dead? Had someone already told her about it? Or was death so commonplace, such announcements were no longer particularly unexpected? Towhee sucked in a breath, jaw clenching, as Ceridwen provided the details. She even mentioned Colt, the name evoking dim memories.

She wasn’t sure what to say and her young cohort redirected the topic to other things again. Towhee’s face remained pensive as she watched Dwin’s lips. Her eye sockets were starting to ache. She missed a few words by shutting them, though only for a few seconds.

All sorts of things, I imagine. Some whereabouts I know, others I don’t. I just hope they’re all happy, wherever they are, whatever they’re doing, Towhee replied. That's the thing about loved ones, particularly immediate family. You want to keep them close but you have to let them go so they can do their own thing. It’s nothing personal. But I get it.

She bobbed in the water, considering dunking again. Towhee held off for the moment.

I’m sorry to hear about Bronco, she said with a frown.

"I don't think that we should feel sorry for him. His problems are over now. The family - however - that was a hard blow and I doubt that they will ever fully recover," Dwin replied. It was not that she was insensitive about his death or that she did not feel sympathy for the man, who could have lived a lot longer, had he been a little less of a hero. Her view of the whole ordeal was that of a very pragmatic person. She was confident that his family here was hurting a lot more than he in the afterlife did or even could. 

"At his funeral I thought that, if his wife had loved him any less, she would have not been so devastated. But, when I asked her this, she told me that all of the pain was worth it. And now I think that there is no such thing as... loving someone more or less. You either love them or you do not," she mused. "Your thoughts? Any advice for a person, who might or might not fall in love in the future?" she asked. 

Who was Bronco’s wife again? Oh, right, Teya. Towhee’s ears folded back as she recalled that particular bit of weirdness. She’d lost Reyes first. Wait, was Reyes still alive? She couldn’t remember, which felt a little absurd. She had to swallow the incredulous laugh that bubbled in her throat. She was utterly indifferent to his fate, though she did feel pretty bad for Teya.

You’re right. It’s not really a choice. And if it happens to you, my only advice is to savor every moment. Try not to take it for granted. Because all relationships end in breakup or death. That’s my morbid take, anyway. My other piece of advice is not to worry too much about whether or not it’ll happen for you. There’s so much more to life than getting hitched.

Dwin had been about to ask - Did they for you? - but refrained from it at the last moment. She was infamous for asking personal questions and feeling no shame for it, but this felt just a step too far. Towhee would probably turn it in a wry joke or reply with something very sarcastic, but it did not mean that this question would not have hurt her feelings. After all - instead of cuddling and seeking warmth from her mate, she was here soaking in the water. 

"Oh, I do not worry," she shrugged. "My life's full regardless. If it is not me, who gets hitched up, someone else in the pack will and I am pretty sure that with the first rays of the sun there will be a new crop of puppies found in the parsley bed," she grinned. "What did you want to grow up to be?" she asked next, thinking about Frolic's aspirations to become a master adventurer and how she had felt pretty much the same last year. 

Towhee hadn’t heard that particular euphemism before. She raised an eyebrow and offered a soft snort of amusement. She had sunk low enough in the pool that the warm gush of air rippled the water. It inspired her to dip down and blow bubbles, for no particular reason.

Her eyes remained fixed on Dwin, digesting the latest inquisition. When was the last time somebody had shown this much interest in her life? It was kind of fun to muse about all these things. She felt a flush of appreciation for her young companion as she surfaced to answer.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a leader and a warrior, I think. And I did grow up to be those things. Then I wanted to be a mother. Then I wanted to be a grandmother. You know, life’s thrown a lot of shit at me over the years but you’ve reminded me of all the things I’ve still managed to achieve. Thank you for that.

Obeying another playful compulsion, she dipped her mouth below the waterline again and then spit it out in a fountain. She aimed it toward Dwin, though not directly enough that it would likely hit her.

When her mouth was emptied, she asked, What about you? What do you want to be when you grow up? God, that tasted like farts.

"You are welcome," Dwin shrugged, biting back a lot darker and sarcastic answer that would go like "I can also remind you of all the things you did not achieve. That's a separate package." Again she reminded herself that there was a fine line between a good joke that would make both of them laugh together and a joke at someone's expense. What made her feel more empathy towards the older she-wolf was that she had had to give up on her own dreams too soon. And now they no longer seemed that relevant. 

"I have no idea, really," she replied truthfully. "Had you asked me this last year, I would have told you everything and more. Now - I kind of do not know. What I set out to do did not turn out as I had imagined it. I mean - it was not as cool. And where I am now - it is kind of boring, but it is stable. I like to have a home to return to and a bit of predictability as well," she finished. "I understand from you though that all the great things in life are ahead of me," she smiled. "And - what now? Becoming a grand-grandmother is not entirely up to you, is it?"

You do have your whole life ahead of you, as they say. And you can do anything you want with it, Towhee concurred. I consider myself semi-retired. I like looking after and teaching the younger generations, even if they’re not necessarily my progeny. I’m hoping my brother, Phox, gets to have more kids this coming year, and I guess there’s always the chance I’ll have more. But I feel pretty retired from that whole shebang too.

Speaking of retiring, Towhee felt herself growing sleepy. The warm water was relaxing but she actually had a bit of a headache brewing. She would soon need to crawl out of the water, deal with the unpleasantness of drying off and maybe find someplace to nap. She drifted toward the edge of the pool, trying to prepare herself.

And I still need to decide if I’m going to winter somewhere and, if so, where? I have too many choices, which is a good problem to have, I guess.