Northstar Vale i won't just survive

the most interesting thing about towhee the remix — at the moment — was her fur. her days and nights were spent sleeping and feeding, stuck in the oilslick shadows of closed eyes and the silence of a babe unable to hear and vocalize.

instinctual attempts to squeak, to mewl were silenced; loud breaths that might eventually turn to frustrated huffs.

Towhee's latest batch was quiet. It was a bit unnerving for Phox, who was used to their normal squeals and screams, and he often found himself checking in on them to make sure they were still breathing. The Towhee copy was currently squirming around, and Phox touched her gently with his nose, breathing in that soft, cheesy puppy smell.

life was a blur of simple concepts for towhee jr during these first few days.

warmth that was soft like silk; comforting. the warmth of her mother. of her father. of her phother. the chill she feels when she musters the strength to wiggle a little too far away. she is always ushered back to the warmth quickly. there and gone before she knows it, but sometimes not before she can be upset about it.

she tries again to mewl, to squeak. to muster some sort of noise. she thinks she's making noise: her body does not know different because she does not yet know different.

instead, she continues to release huffs of air.

attempts to communicate at her most base level what she wants.

instantly, she is soothed by the gentle touch of nose to her back. her wiggling ceases and she smacks her lips together, fat head lifting for a moment before falling ... not having the strength to hold it up.

It was always fun to watch them at this stage, even though Phox knew they wouldn't be like this for long. Still, he was so happy to be here with them now. Even if he did end up going with Fennec and Killdeer, he wanted to wait a little bit longer. He wanted to imprint himself on these kiddos and really get to know them before he thought about leaving. And if he did go help Fennec and Killer, he wanted to come back at least every few days.

The Towhee copy paused at his touch, and he laughed, sending quick poofs of air along her back.

Watching Phox interact with her child brought Towhee great pleasure. She realized that, despite what she’d said the other day, she would be a little devastated if her brother decided to go with Fennec and Killdeer. In fact, she found herself resenting the fact that they would tear apart her own little family unit to build their own. She understood their wishes but, the more she thought about it, the more she wished they’d just come live here. Epoch wasn’t Mereo.

I know I said it’s your decision, Towhee said apropos of nothing. and it is. And I know it’s selfish to say this but I have to be honest with you, Phox. She took a breath. I will be bummed as all hell if you decide to go.

feel free to skip jr!

the quick puffs of air along her back have her squirming, causing a quick succession of huffs leaving her.

the excitement is quickly draining the bought of energy that had kept jr awake and a small yawn leaves her lips; taking over her entire potato-like body for a moment.

she smacks her lips and nuzzles into towhee's belly fur; sleep overtaking her quickly.

Towhee's duplicate settled into sleep, and Phox's ears pricked when Towhee began to speak again. He wasn't surprised by what she said, and it was something he'd thought quite a bit about as well. -Even if I do, it won't be until these kiddos are old enough to visit,- Phox replied. -And even then, I dunno.- Phox wished it could be easier. That Fennec and Killer would move here. Or that Towhee and Maxim would go with them. He didn't think either was likely, but he could dream, couldn't he?

A small smile flickered across her face when he insisted he wouldn’t even consider leaving until her kids were old enough to visit. She appreciated that but what about the two of them? Towhee was sick of life—and other fucking wolves—tearing them apart.

I just want to grow old together, is that so much to ask? she grumped affectionately, letting out a sigh.

There was a lot more she could say on the matter, having stewed ever since Killdeer and Fennec had stopped by. But Towhee decided to stow it, for now. If she wasn’t enough to keep Phox here, maybe her kids would be. They were pretty fucking cute, after all, especially that Jr.

Why don’t you tell us a story? Maybe about the stars? she suggested, glancing at the pups dozing at her belly.

They wouldn’t hear any of it. Hell, she wouldn’t either. But Towhee knew her brother spent a lot of time stargazing. If he was willing to indulge her, she would happily follow along. And then maybe remember to repeat it to the children, when they were old enough to understand.

-Naw, it’s not. But I do want to be a dad again someday. Not that I’m not a dad to these, but you know what I mean.- It had been different with his own kids. At least the ones he’d had a chance to raise. He couldn’t ever really bond with Niamh’s last litter, and that still hurt him. Alyx, Quetzal, and Primrose had the most stable upbringing, and with the latter gone to them a long time. The twins were off doing there own thing, he could only presume.

-Sure, I’ll tell the one about the twins,- he said, then launched into the same story he’d told years ago.