Moonspear Djupt du dreg anden inn, let tankar svinna.
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#1
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She kept telling herself to find an ulaq. Ever since Mereo, Towhee had always enjoyed sharing a dwelling with her family, even if it wasn’t necessarily the natural order of things. But every time she considered it, she thought of all those nights curled up with Maxim and she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The kids would be fine at the rendezvous site and Phox could find himself a place if he liked. But Towhee would stay adrift…

She drifted across the mountainside today, heading toward the busier parts of the village. Towhee had spent a lot of time off on her own, processing her grief and quite frankly wallowing in a pit of despair for little while there. She felt a little less despondent today and she didn’t want the other folks living here to think she was some sort of moody, old recluse, particularly @Sialuk. She hadn’t met the leader properly yet and sought to remedy that now.
-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.

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Sialuk had spent the last several days resting and recuperating from her trip. Meerkat had made it known that she wished to step down, and Sialuk did not hold a grudge against her for doing so. She had not yet heard from Njord, so she intended to seek him out sooner rather than later.

Feeling refreshed, Sialuk took to one of the many well-worth paths on the mountain, soon finding herself on a collision course for Meerkat's mother: Towhee. Ilitannamek! Sialuk said, quickly translating on the assumption the older woman was not fluent in her mother's language. Good to see the face of an old friend! It had been a long time since they'd had a chance to make a meeting.
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There was a strong resemblance between mother and daughter, Towhee noted when she spotted Sialuk. A few seconds after setting eyes on her, she realized she wasn’t entirely unfamiliar. She blinked rapidly, lips twisting into a contemplative moue. If they’d met before, Towhee couldn’t place her, at least right away.

It was only when the young woman moved closer and greeted her like an old friend that the memory began to surface. Towhee’s lips untwisted and parted, though she didn’t respond right away. Instead, she looked around for any sign of the blackbird. She didn’t see him, so her orange eyes came to rest back on Sialuk’s face.

-“Hello. Where’s Sixsix?”- she wondered, lips slowly curling into a smile. -“You know, I didn’t realize we’d already met when I came here. But I guess my mind, it’s been…”- Towhee gestured, brow furrowed before she let out a breath and drew in another to say, -“Anyway, I’m glad to bump into you today. Would you mind some company doing whatever it is you’re doing?”-
-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.

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First, a salutation. Second, a pointed question on the whereabouts of her familiar. Sialuk grinned, remembering now the direct way of words that Towhee spoke with. She watched too the movements the Redhawk made with the rest of her body. The fluid dance intrigued Sialuk, and she found herself curious about its origins.

I am making a path to a hunter's kill, she said. It would be good to keep company with the mother of many Redhawks. There were many such things scattered about Moonspear. Though some were well picked-apart by now, they still had bones ripe with marrow, and that alone would sate Sialuk's hunger for the day.

Sixsix flies to and fro, not always with me. But he is never far.
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Towhee had no idea what that meant, though it didn’t matter. She was happy to tag along regardless. She snorted lightly at the title, though inwardly, she preened. She was proud of her children and grandchildren. Maybe one day soon, she’d have some great grandchildren. Towhee decided right then and there that she wanted to live long enough to meet one of her grandchildren’s grandchildren.

(Look, she hasn’t read the Guidebook and neither one of us knows math, so let a girl dream, okay?)

-“Grandmother too,”- she said with a wave of her tail. -“In fact, I’m old enough that I could tell you I once had a familiar of my own, a hawk by the name of X. I saved her life and we became inseparable for several years, until she was killed during a landslide. All of that probably happened before you were even born,”- she finished on a musing note.

(I have no idea if that’s right, either, tbh.)

-“While we search this path, I was wondering if there was anything you needed done around here? I like to keep busy. I was thinking of starting up some Ptero classes, if you think that would be a good idea. But I’m open to other tasks as well.”-
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Sialuk was impressed at how Towhee continued to walk, talk, and use her word-dancing all at the same time. It was unlike anything she had ever seen! They had spoken before, but she did not remember the movements from then. Perhaps Towhee had not thought to use them, though Sialuk felt the word-dancing had its own life outside of the spoken word.

The story of her own hawk brought sorrow to Sialuk, though it had been long ago that her familiar had gone to the dancing lights. The starwoman made a note to say a small prayer for her when she retired for the evening.

Remembering to turn and face Towhee as she walked toward the kill, she responded with delight. This would be good! Already, Sialuk had been fascinated, and now the grandmother of many Redhawks wished to share her gift with others. I have not yet seen the faces of your children. Can you tell me of them?
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Both Njord and Sialuk seemed to support the idea of Ptero classes. Towhee supposed she could pick up the same weekly schedule she had used in Epoch. Ignoring the flicker of guilty sadness that thought brought with it, she concentrated on the head’s question.

Sure, she answered, dropping signing because it was hard to do while on the move. There’s Towhee Jr, who looks just like me. She’s deaf and nonverbal, which is part of why I really want to spread the use of Ptero. Sable, my youngest son, also doesn’t speak much. Jr will learn to lipread too, in time, but the more folks who know our language, the more included both my children and I will feel here.

She pondered repeating her question but didn’t want to seem pushy. Now that she’d surfaced from her depressive well, Towhee was itching to be productive, preferably in a way that served her new pack. She couldn’t hunt very well, though she was always willing to try. And of course she was always happy to babysit.

She supposed she could offer to train warriors too, though she was a little hesitant on that front. For one thing, Moonspear didn’t really seem like it needed too many fighters. Between its size and its alliances, nobody could really mess with them. For another, the Redhawk felt like the time had come for her to retire, for real and for good.
-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.

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Sialuk listened, and she found that in doing so, she pined for her own children. Her time had not yet come, and yet each day she hoped it would. Not that she would have wished for it to come when she had been away, but now that she was back... Moonspear had promised her sons and daughters upon this mountain, but perhaps it had not meant the ones to come from her own body. The ancestor spirits did not always speak with clarity.

She wondered also what wisdom her own mother might depart when it came to Sable and Towhee Jr. Sialuk knew that there was much talk around Kausuit when she was born strange apart from her sister. It was as though the spirits had taken the health and vitality from the former and given it to Samani. Sialuk found herself not wishing to know what had taken the voices and ears of Towhee's children—or even Towhee herself!

Reminding herself once more to look at Towhee as they walked and spoke, she found another question on her tongue. This ptero, who taught it to you? she asked. It is a good thing to have a language for those who do not have their voice or ears. Sialuk wondered if any of her own children would be missing such a feature, just as she missed one of her toes.
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Asking Towhee about Ptero was a quick way to earn her favor. She smiled to herself when Sialuk posed some more questions about the peculiar language. She drew in a breath, thinking back many years now to her childhood. She wondered how Raven was doing these days and whether she should arrange another trip to Frosthawks sometime.

My older sister, Raven, came up with the basics. Then she and I developed it into a proper language over time. Nobody knew I was deaf at first, though the moment she realized, she wanted to make sure she—and everyone else in our family—could communicate with me, and Towhee would never, ever take that gift for granted.

And, of course, I mastered lipreading over time, she continued after a brief pause. It can be challenging in some situations or with certain wolves. As you might imagine, I struggle with accents, speech impediments or those who don’t speak the common tongue very well… like very young pups, for instance. That’s why I always teach mine Ptero right off the bat, even if they can hear.

But enough about herself. Towhee was grateful for Sialuk’s interest but she wanted to better acquaint with the head and find out what she and Moonspear needed from the elder Redhawk.

Aside from teaching everyone Ptero, what else can I do to make myself useful around here? she asked again.
-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.

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Sialuk listened again with interest as Towhee explained the history behind her language. She felt as though it was another tale from anaa's own mouth, although different in that many of Kukutux's stories were tales of far off people, places, and things. Towhee's story came from her own experiences rather than something that happened long ago.

She thought on the final question for a fair moment, silently seeking the whispering advice of the ancestors on the wind. As with most answers, the one they did give her was unclear and muddled. Faint words that appeared disconnected until she could glue them together into something coherent.

Bright prospects. Impelled to render service. Accept the help of others.

Sialuk furrowed her brow. Then she knew.

You have had many children—and grandchildren. You will help me when this happens to me? To answer questions, give advice? she asked. If her own mother had been here, Sialuk would have asked for her help and advice along the way. And though Moonglow was only a short trek away, such questions would be easier to answer with an experienced mother living upon the spear.
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It seemed absurd that this notion hadn’t crossed her mind before now. When Sialuk asked, Towhee immediately knew the answer: yes, of course. She had learned something during each of her pregnancies and she was more than willing to relay her experiences and even do a bit of hand-holding, if that’s what Sialuk needed.

Of course, I’d be happy to do that. Will you be having your very first litter? Is there anything in particular you’re curious—or worried—about?
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To know that Meerkat's mother would become her own when her time came was a blessing she had not known she would need. Sialuk felt a wave of appreciation come over her, and her spirit felt light and happy in that moment. Without consideration for Towhee's personal space or possible dislike of the gesture, Sialuk reached forward and gave her a wolfish hug. It would bring the Redhawk family and moon villages even closer together, and Sialuk was pleased.

She drew away now, chewing her lip and hoping that she had not imposed upon the large woman.

This year will be my first, she replied. When the time comes. It has not yet, and... what if it does not? she asked, her first question sure to be followed by many more.
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Sialuk suddenly flung herself at Towhee, catching her off guard. But as soon as she realized what was happening, her stiffened posture relaxed and she softened into the embrace. She laughed under her breath, the pat she gave Sialuk’s back as affectionate as it was awkward.

The head drew back and Towhee said, You know, there was a time in my life where I thought I couldn’t have children. I was extremely upset about it. But look at me now. She made a generic sweeping gesture, as if to indicate all her progeny out there in the world. I know it’s hard, being patient and trusting the process. But it happened for me and I’m sure it will for you too.

This conversation made her wonder: who would father Sialuk’s children? Did she have a mate or, at the very least, had she picked out a baby daddy? She’d asked for advice but that didn’t give Towhee license to ask all sorts of personal questions. Sialuk was her leader and they were still getting to know one another, so Towhee decided to stay mum and just stick to answering any questions the younger woman had for her.
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Towhee took the hug at face-value, and Sialuk was pleased. It was difficult to not be with anaa, and she trusted Meerkat's mother as much as her own. She had been through the process plenty of times, and while she couldn't replace Kukutux, it would be nice to have somebody around who would be on call, so to speak.

She grinned when the older Redhawk explained that she had once thought herself incapable of bearing children. She nodded like an eager student when Towhee suggested she trust in the process. If Sialuk had been less experienced, she might have asked further about what it was like to be with a man, but she was far beyond those questions now. There was, however, a question that perhaps Towhee could answer.

Sialuk was not shy when it came to speaking of intimacy, and she paid no mind to the delicate nature of the question. To share my bed with many men, will this be safe? she asked.
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The question didn’t faze her, though it certainly piqued her curiosity. It also reminded her again of her younger days. Towhee thought she was possibly more suited to the this task of coaching Sialuk through this than either woman had realized when she’d asked.

Safe in what sense? I enjoyed taking many partners when I was your age, though some of them expected more than I was willing to give, Towhee shared, thinking of Arcturus, and then others thought they could claim my child, recalling the way Pippin had behaved at the time. I think my best advice would be to be choosy. Don’t share yourself with anyone you don’t know well or can’t trust. Maybe tell them the stakes up front too, ‘cause I suppose informed consent is always good.
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