Hushed Willows sisuuk ⥱

"@Reina," kukutux murmured as the evening shadows fell. little @Nasamiituuq was nearby, covering the last of the medicines. she waited until her granddaughter had settled before she motioned to the other healer, to come outside the small shelter.

"i have taught medicine for wounds and for the needs of mothers. but i did not ask what it was that you meant to make your own, what sort of healing you have the want to learn," the duck said, watching the younger woman quietly thereafter.

If there was anything that she could use to distract herself from the wants and desires of womanhood, it was spending time with Moonwoman and her granddaughter. Though she had only just started learning the arts of healing, the red wolf felt herself grasp the teachings with minimal difficulty. 

The undeniable need to be as useful as she can be for her new pack, where she wasn’t able to be for her family, was the driving factor. She knew that, in truth, there was nothing, no amount of teachings, that would have, or could have, changed the way things had occurred the day she returned to them. Ruin had kept her hidden away, like a dragon kept his horde, and she was only able to escape him, but not before she was able to see her family again…alive.

Memories of the past were ever so slowly, but surely, coming fewer and further in between. Easier to surface from and so she did as she heard Kukutux call for her. 

“Moonwoman,” she bowed respectfully. Her question had made her pause. Surely she had thought about this? There had always been only one want, so she spoke it aloud. “I want to be the most useful I could be for my pack. Would it be naive of me to want it all? To dabble in the art as a whole rather than only bits and pieces?” 

Mature Content Warning

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: mention of maternal mortality, c-section

"this is a good thing," kukutux reassured, pleased that reina intended to learn many aspects of medicine. "there is the healing of wounds. there is the care of children and mothers. there is the ah," and she paused for a moment, as she could not think of the word 'surgery.' "sometimes one who is wounded must be cut. maybe it is to remove a leg which has turned black from wintercold. maybe it is to take away an ear or eye. you must know how to remove these things, how to bind them, how to heal them. it is important to understand that there is a second dangerous time, when bad spirits might enter the new wound. this too will fall to you, to find what medicines are needed and how to give them."

a pause, a voice lowered.

"in rare times, it is a woman who must be cut. she will die. her children may live, even if it is only one of them. but never is this done unless she asks. commands. it is not done unless she understands she gives her life." reina was given a long look. "to be a healer is to know many hard things. it is to shed tears. it is to kill when necessary. that is what knowing all medicine will bring you. but it is a rank treasured by all in the village, and it is sacred besides."

Kukutux’s explanation of medicine was riveting, and Reina had found herself lost in thought as she reflected on what was said. The Moonwoman’s words paused and the sudden stop of conversation along with the brevity in the woman’s features caused the red’s heart to beat faster.

Would she have to cut open Reverie? The thought was an ice cold dip in frigid waters, she felt numb and pain all at once. Yes, she wanted to be everything her pack needed, but would she have the courage to cut down the angel that saved her? To save her babies, but unable to save the one person who she wanted around most of all? 

Unshed tears blurred her vision, but she did her best to blink them away, and sad eyes looked to the healer woman. “How is it possible to separate yourself from the bonds you’ve built with your pack to commit to saving the life of babies in such a manner? I think of Reverie and find myself unable to fathom the idea…” she choked on a sob. Damn her bleeding heart! She abhorred killing, which is why she could not be of Punk status in Hearthwood and gravitated toward the healing arts.

"my mother took me to many births when i was a child. you know that children are born from the time snow is still upon the earth to the time that the cloudberries are just ripening beneath the sun. there were many women, and many births. i learned swiftly that life can be taken back by tooteega, by sedna, no matter what is done."

she touched reina's paw gently. "i do not think this will need to be done for reverie. i mean to tell you, to become healer is to be called upon to do things that are difficult. it is the first acceptance you must make if you wish to make a path forward."

At the woman’s touch, Reina calmed. Her breath came out in a gust, all her anxieties blown away. It was good to know that Reverie was safe; it would break Reina should her angel find her wings too soon.

She thought of her pack and would do everything that she could to keep them safe and whole, but would do what is necessary if there was a chance of life. 

“I understand, Moonwoman. I accept that I will need to make difficult choices and I swear that the choices I make are for the benefit of the patient, regardless of personal beliefs.” 

this was good. kukutux gave a single sharp nod, a low sound of acceptance.

"then we will go to other things. what do you know of very young children?" the duck asked. "how they might be tended and fed, how best to give medicine? how to help a mother latch them to her breast if they struggle?" kukutux went on, pausing. she wished to know the extents and limitations of reina's knowledge, committed to her teaching.

The moon-lit she wolf’s question brought to her memories of the past, dream-like and hazy. She had been no more than a year old when her mother announced she was pregnant. Though there was much excitement to soon welcome little paws to touch the Earth, it was not without its ups and downs.

The pregnancy was rough; her mother grew thinner than what was proper, thanks to the never ending bouts of nausea, but the midwives that cared for her were not troubled. The babes were growing well, horrifyingly strong, little kicks looked and though they might burst through her mother’s belly, images that young Reina dreamt of for months.

The babes were born, three healthy pups. She assisted in their raising, or rather watched them and kept them safe, so her mother could get as much rest as she could to continue nurturing their growing bodies. She would interact with them, sing to them, and watched them grow. Her role had been caregiver, nurturer, the one that taught them the world.

Though, unfortunately, she was not privy to the ways of midwifery and was unable to learn much of the craft. Reina shook her head, relaying her memories and her lack of knowledge to Kukutux. “I was young, I seemed to have been more interested in my siblings development more than anything.”

reina looked away, caught in the web of her own thoughts.

kukutux waited patiently as she wound her own dream. she let herself drift, gathering the power she must give reina.

when the young healer spoke, it was upon the subject of children.

kukutux had a great mind of belief that those who tended children must first be mothers, but this did not detract from the skill possessed by a woman who was not yet anaa.

"i followed my mother to many births when i was only a girl. do you have questions for which you have no answers? i will give them to you," kukutux murmured, encouraging reina.

“Well, the questions you posed to me before, I would love answers to them. In addition, how best can I support the pack’s babies. I was young assisting my siblings, and in truth, my mother did most of the upbringing. I played with them more than anything and taught them how to play. But I do not know the milestones that need to reach at certain ages. Or when they should wean from the mother’s milk.” She paused, a sadness developing as she realized these are things she would need to know as a mother, too. And, that dream seemed so far away. Far enough to where it seemed it will never happen for the Hearthwood healer.

If she couldn’t have her own, she wanted to have the knowledge to help Reverie with hers, at the very least. Her eyes found Kukutux, and she swore she could see a shimmer around the Moonwoman. A feeling of calming strength seeped into her bones the longer she remained in the Moonglow Alpha’s presence.

“Before you answer, Kukutux, I just wanted to say how grateful I am to know you, to learn from you. I wish that I could offer you ten-fold what you are giving me. My whole life, I have felt useless. Powerless. The chance to learn under your tutelage means so much more to me than anyone will ever know.” Her voice had wavered with emotion in the end, but she smiled nonetheless. “I thank you, Moonwoman, with my whole heart and soul. If there is anything that I could do to repay you, please let me know. Any time. Any place.”

"listen. watch. these things will do more to tell you of the children than anything else. weaning is something a mother feels, for their teeth grow strong and sharp, and they soon wish for meat. be ready to offer this also as she seeks to pull them from her belly. a child must be watched if they are greatly tired, if they do not run and play as the others, if they do not howl and speak as other children do. you will notice these things early, reina, do not have worry."

"give medicine when they are drinking milk. and if they struggle to take hold of the breast, help the mother into different lying ways, until they are both comfortable and the little one can suckle."

a breath. there was so much to impart! reina spoke passionately and moonmother touched the young healer's paw with her own. "i have joy to give this knowledge. your delight is my own. i ask only that as you grow in wisdom, you also pass down the teachings i give you these months. it is how medicine keeps its life long after its talkers are gone."

Reina had listened intently, her questions answered adequately by Moonwoman. It also gave her a sense of longing, to be on the other side, as a mother, experiencing these things. Some day, she could feel it, where she would be on that side, experiencing the one thing her heart desires more than anything. For now, she would continue to learn, to heal—not only others, but herself, as well.

Kukutux’s request of her was a sound one and she agreed that medicine should be shared. So, she nodded. “I will be happy to educate others. Though the trade is specialized, I do feel that everyone should have at least the basic knowledge of medicine.” As she concluded, she stretched, a yawn punctuating the end of her movements. 

Not only was her body tired, but her brain, too. The information was plentiful, she could not fit any more in at this point in time. So, tired eyes looked to Moonwoman, apologetically while also gratefully. “Thank you, again, Kukutux. I’m afraid I must retire. Any more information and I fear my head will explode and spill all of your wonderful knowledge.”

a grin! one light, and filled with understanding.

"that is how you know you have learned much for one day," moonmother joked, small worn teeth flashing in a true laugh. "i have trust that you will teach well."

"come to me again, reina. soon we will go to moontide."

the woman's gentle formality was appreciated; she would always remember the eager kindness of the young mountain-healer who lived with the golden sparrow.